Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2017

Celtic: Moussa Dembele Capitalises On Almighty Goalkeeping Howler To Score 12 Seconds After Kick-Off (Video)

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Moussa Dembele helped himself to his 30th and 31st goals of the campaign as Celtic cantered to a 22nd-straight Scottish Premiership victory with a 4-0 spanking of Inverness Caledonian Thistle on Wednesday evening.

Having gone in 1-0 up at the break, the Bhoys had to wait until 12 seconds into the second half to double their lead.

Sunday League Special: Lucas Moura Denied By Muddy Goalmouth As PSG Just About Overcome Niort In French Cup (Video)

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PSG's second string recorded a fairly straightforward 2-0 win over Ligue 2 outfit Niort in last night's quarter-final of the Coupe de France.

Ittook a late goal apiece from second-half substitutes Javier Pastore and Edinson Cavani to shore up the result on a damp old night at theStade René Gaillard.

Woe Is Klopp: Even The Greater Manchester Police Force Are Mocking Liverpool On Twitter

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Having registered just one Premier League win since the turn of the year, it's safe to say that morale has dipped at Liverpool of late.

Looking a tadknackered after a rollicking opening half of the campaign, Jurgen Klopp's beleaguered side have now lost five of their last seven fixtures in all competitions.

Heart-Breaking Scenes As ‘Gladbach Captain Lars Stindl Snubs Handshake With Young Mascot (Video)

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Thousands of hearts were shattered in the lead-up to last night's DFB Pokal game between Borussia Monchengladbach and Hamburg when a young mascot was left hanging for all to see.

Gladbach captain Lars Stindl was the guilty party, shaking hands with the match officials before cruelly snubbing the extendedarm of one of the young player escorts stood between them.

‘You Think Two Beautiful Passes Are Enough?’ – Mesut Ozil Reveals Jose Mourinho Branded Him A ‘Coward’ During Real Madrid Stint

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Writing in his new biography, Mesut Ozil has revealed that he almost had it outwith Jose Mourinho during their time together at Real Madrid after being called a "coward" by his coach.

Released in Germany on 16th March, Ozil's tome is now being serialised by BILD which many Arsenal fans might see as slightly untimely, given the continued uncertainty over the author's immediate future.

Sweden Women’s National Team To Play With Inspirational Quotes On Shirts Instead Of Their Names (Photos)

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The Sweden women's national team have decided to drop their names in favour of plastering inspirational messages across their shoulders.

The shirts are being produced for the upcoming Algarve Cup, with each player selecting their own quote of choice from fellowprominent Swedish women.

Team captain Lotta Schelin has opted for a quote pinched from the Twitter feed of politician Gudrun Schyman that reads, "Never look down on someone unless it is to help her up".

Man Utd: Star-Studded Michael Carrick Testimonial To Feature Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard And Michael Owen

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Michael Carrick is to be given a testimonial by Manchester United to reward him for his 11 years with the club.

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The game, which will be played at Old Trafford, willfeature aManchester United 2008 XI which will feature the likes ofEdwin van der Sar, Gary Neville, Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs.

Unhappy St. David’s Day: Welsh Wizard Gareth Bale Sent Off For Real Madrid (Video)

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Real Madrid dropped to second in the La Liga table after Zinedine Zidane's side could only draw 3-3 at home to Las Palmas.

A major factor in the draw at the Bernabeu was the second half sending off of Welsh superstar Gareth Bale, on St. David's Day of all days.

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With the score 1-1 after the first period, former Tottenham star Bale was initally shown yellow for a cynical kick from behind onJonathan Viera.

FA Cup: Man City Ease Into Quarter-Finals After 5-1 Huddersfield Hammering (Photos)

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Manchester City will face Middlesbrough in the last eight of the FA Cup after Pep Guardiola's side strolled to victory against Championship side Huddersfield on Wednesday night.

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Having drawn 0-0 away to Huddersfield in the original tie, the Citizens were looking to make the most of home advantage against the Championshipside.

Kevin Grosskreutz To Press Criminal Charges After Being Beaten Up By Gang Of Teenagers Outside Stuttgart Nightclub

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VfB Stuttgart utility man Kevin Grosskreutz has vowed to press charges after reportedly being beaten up during a ruckus outside anightclub earlier in the week,

The former Germany international wentout on the tiles in Stuttgart on Monday nightbut ended up in A&Eafter being assaultedand splittinghis head open on the floor.

‘I Was So Insecure’ – Robbie Savage Admits He Created Online Aliases To Praise Himself On Derby County Fan Forums

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Robbie Savage has admitted that back during his playing days, he created phoney online aliases which he used to shower himself with praise on fan forums.

Speaking on BBC Radio 5 Live, the former Wales international revealed that, shortly after signing for Derby in 2008, he became so insecure about his performances that he created fake accountsand then infiltrated message boards to talk himself up.

‘I Just Liked His Surname’ – Belgian R&B Artiste Name-Checks Chelsea ‘Keeper Thibaut Courtois On Latest Track (Video)

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In what surely must be a first, Thibaut Courtois has hada new R&B track named after him.

However, according to Belgian pop star Shay, the artiste responsible, the link to the Chelsea goalkeeper doesn't really go beyond the title.

Indeed, she only picked Courtois because she heard his name mentioned in conversation and liked the way it sounded.

Newcastle Seize Back Control Of Championship Title Race With Flukiest Goal Of The Season So Far (Video)

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Mohamed Diame's face says it all.

Newcastle wrested back control of the Championship title race with a 2-1 victory over Brighton at the AMEX on Tuesday night a result that saw the two sides swap places at the summit of the table once again.

Having trailed to a Glenn Murray penalty for the majority of the match, the Toon scored twice late onto snaffle the victory and reclaim the top spot from their defeated hosts.

Dortmund Team Bus Rescued By Farmer After Running Aground In Field En Route To Cup Match (Photos)

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Photo: @EvertzLudwig/Twitter

With a quarter-final against giant-killers Sportfreunde Lotte in the offing, Borussia Dortmund's DFB Pokal entourage clambered aboard their bus and set out north on Tuesday morning.

However, just four hours before kick-off, the bus ran aground in a farmer's field while attempting to turn into a narrow country lane.

Shit Football Ink: Serbian Defender Uros Vitas Has Wife’s Facial Features Tattooed On His Torso (Photo)

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With hisheart chock full of love, KV Mechelen defender Uros Vitas decided the only suitableway to cherish his wife Andrijana would be to have her face indelibly needled onto his midriffforevermore.

As such, the 24-year-old Serbian centre-half schlepped down to his local parlour andhad them tattoo Andrijana's bright orange visage about his person.

Non-League: Consett ‘Keeper Peter Jeffries Pulls Off Brilliant, Mind-Boggling Reaction Save Against South Shields (Video)

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Tuesday night saw South Shields beat Consett on their own turf down in Division One of the EBAC Northern League.

Consett found themselves on the wrong end of a 3-1 stuffing, butthe defeatwould've been even heavierwere it not for the heroic efforts of their goalkeeper, Peter Jeffries, who pulled off a mind-bogglingly brilliant reactionsave to keep the score respectable.

Europa League: Man Utd To Cover VISA Costs For All 500 Fans Making Long Slog To Russia For Rostov Tie

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As a gesture of goodwill, Manchester United have announced that the club will be covering the cost of acquiring a Russian VISA for every fan travelling to the Europa League last-16 tie against FC Rostov a week next Thursday.

According to the Daily Mail, United will be stumping up around £120 per head for each of the 500 hearty souls making the 3,750-mile round trip that's approximately £60,000 in total.

Everton: Jamie Carragher Torn Apart By Romelu Lukaku During One-On-One Training Session (Video)

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Image: Sky Sports

At the behest of his Sky Sports employers, Jamie Carragher toddled down to Everton's training groundto conduct an interview with the Premier League's joint-top goalscorer, Romelu Lukaku.

As part of the grilling, Carragher graciously offeredto giveyoung Lukaku a bit of one-on-one tutoringin the subtle art of old-school defending.

End Of An Era: Palermo President Maurizio Zamperini Steps Down After Hiring (And Firing) 40 Coaches In 15 Years

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Palmero president Maurizio Zamparini has announced that he is stepping down after 15 fun-filled, zany years in the role.

In that relatively short time, Zamparini has made roughly 40 coaching changes even sacking the same manager three times in the same season last year.

With the side currently 18th and three points off the bottom of Serie A, the 75-year-oldhas announced that he is officially done and that a new owner will be in place "within 15 days".

Borussia Dortmund: Mario Gotze Sidelined Indefinitely After Discovery Of ‘Metabolic Disturbances’

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Having barely made a dent since his grand return, Mario Gotze has been ruled out for the foreseeable future with what Borussia Dortmund are calling "metabolic disturbances".

A succession of musculartweaks had previously restricted Gotze to just nine starts for Dortmund this season, following his controversial transferback from Bayern Munich in the summer spending a cumulative total of less than half-an-hour on the pitch since New Year.

‘I’m Staying’ – Nantes Coach Sergio Conceicao Creates Twitter Account To Scotch Rumours Linking Him With Leicester City

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With Claudio Ranieri's recent exit leaving Leicester City with an important vacancy to fill, the rumour mill has coughed up several possible candidates over the past few days.

One of those mentioned in passing was Nantes coach Sergio Conceicao, with several press reports even suggesting that Leicester had contacted the former Portugal international to offer him the job.

Czech First League: Togolese Striker Francis Kone Saves Goalkeeper’s Life After Accidental Collision (Video)

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Togolese international Francis Kone was the hero of the hour when his quick-thinking quite possibly saved the life of an opponent during a Czech First League game at the weekend.

Bohemians goalkeeper Martin Berkovec was knocked out cold when he accidentally collided with a teammate on the edge of his penalty area.

‘He Could Make Everton Stronger’ – Ronald Koeman Openly Flirts With Idea Of Signing Wayne Rooney

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With Wayne Rooney looking like more of a spent force at Manchester United with every passing week, there's a good chance his number might be upat the end of the season.

While the Chinese Super League has already come a-callin'to no avail, it's all the more likely that Rooney will end up either, A) continue clogging everything upat Old Trafford forever and a day, or B) opt for a less disruptive move to another English side.

Leicester: Foxes Rediscover Title-Winning Form In 3-1 Win Against Liverpool (Video)

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Without sacked boss Claudio Ranieri at the helm, Leicester's players suddenly rediscovered last season's title-winning form in a vibrant and deserved 3-1 win at home to a lacklustre Liverpool side.

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Leicester started the game in the relegation after a dismal domestic campaign which ultimately saw last season's hero Ranieri jettisoned by the club's owners.

Upping The Ante: Eight Footballers Who Love To Play Poker

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Everybody needs a hobby, even lucky gitswho get paid handsomely to do their hobby for a living, i.e, professional footballers.

While many players are happy to limit it to tattoo sleeves and extensive video gaming, many leading lights have turned to the cut and thrust of professional pokerto keep their eye in.

Arsenal: Olivier Giroud’s Incredible Scorpion Volley Against Crystal Palace Recreated In Lego (Video)

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It may have been pipped to the January 'Goal of the Month' award by Andy Carroll's exocet overhead kick, but Olivier Giroud's equally audacious scorpion volley (also against Crystal Palace) has been immortalised in an altogether more meaningful way.

Thanks to Weevil888, Giroud's partially inspired, partially fluked back-heel has taken its place in the grand pantheon of icon footballing moments re-rendered in Lego.

Eredivisie: PSV Knocked Out Of Title Race After ‘Keeper Jeroen Voet Concedes Farcical Own-Goal (Video)

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PSV were all but knocked out of the Eredivisie title race on Sunday afternoon thanks to a 2-1 defeat away against league leaders Feyenoord.

The scores were level at 1-1 until the 82nd minute when PSV 'keeper Jeroen Zoet conceded an own-goal that may take some explaining.

With Zoet having saved ashot right on thegoal-line, the Hawkeye systemconcluded the ball did not cross the whitewashand Feyenoord's protests were waved away.

Serie A: Roma Midfielder Radja Nainggolan Nets Two Long-Range Stunners In Win Over Inter Milan (Video)

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Arguably one of the best midfieldersaround at present, Roma midfielder Radja Nainggolan showed just why is coveted by Europe's big guns with a superb two-goal display against Inter Milan on Sunday night.

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Nainggolan's first of the night at the San Siro came on 12 minutes, with the Belgian international cutting inside off the right flank before executing the most delicious of curling efforts which left Samir Handanovic helpless in the Inter goal.

Dopey Crystal Palace Fans Accidentally Vandalise Their Own Team Bus (Photo)

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A gang of Crystal Palace fans accidentally ended up vandalising their own club's bus ahead of Saturday's Premier League tie against Middlesbrough at Selhurst Park.

Thinking they'd spied Boro's bus parked up outside the team's hotel the night before the match, the nefarious Palace fans used spray paint to tag the vehicle in club colours.

Delicious: Bayern Munich Mark Carlo Ancelotti’s 1,000th Game As Coach By Presenting Him With Enormous Pretzel (Photo)

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Sunday saw Carlo Ancelotti preside over the 1,000th game of his managerial career a milestone that Bayern Munich saw fit to honour in fitting style.

Not only did Ancelotti get to sit back and watch his1,000th starting XI well and truly trounce Hamburg 8-0, but the Italian also went home with a tasty, salty little souvenir.

‘Get Your Pasty Out!’ – Southampton Fans Serenade Wayne Shaw On Bus Trip To Wembley For EFL Cup Final (Video)

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After a whirlwind weekthat saw him go from gainfully employed to jobless via a televised FA Cup match, a rogue pie and a gambling commission inquiry, you'd think Wayne Shaw might have kept his head down this weekend.

However, the ex-Sutton United man instead snagged himself a ticket to the EFL Cup Final at Wembley and ventured to London aboard a coach full of fellow Southampton fans.

Man Utd: Mino Raiola Reveals Big Secret Behind Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Admirable Physical Condition

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Despite being positively antiquated in footballing terms, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has continued to defy his advancing years and creaking joints by carrying Manchester United upon his broad, majestic shoulders this season.

Indeed, the Swedemade his 37th appearance and scored his 23rd and 24th goals of the season as United dramatically pippedSouthampton in the EFL Cup Final at Wembley to secure the first silverware of Jose Mourinho's reign.

Upping The Ante: Eight Footballers Who Love To Play Poker

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Everybody needs a hobby, even lucky gitswho get paid handsomely to do their hobby for a living, i.e, professional footballers.

While many players are happy to limit it to tattoo sleeves and extensive video gaming, many leading lights have turned to the cut and thrust of professional pokerto keep their eye in.

EFL Cup: Liverpool Change Twitter Bio After Man Utd’s Record-Equalling Cup Victory

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Manchester United won the first piece of major silverware on offer this season, courtesy of their hard-fought and rather fortuitous 3-2 win against Southampton on Sunday.

United's appearance in the final and subsequent victory also forced traditional rivals Liverpool into a bit of Twitter fiddling, with the Reds deletinga major claim in their bio.

‘Prepare To Watch Your Mouths’ – Atlanta United Ultras Terrorise Opposing Fans With Fearsome, Blood-Curdling Chant (Video)

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Atlanta United, and specifically their rowdy fans, are already fostering themselves one holy hell of a reputation ahead of their MLS debut next month.

During what we assume was Saturday's pre-season trip toplay Charlestown Battery, the Atlanta ultras formed a fearsome raiding party, leaving the home fans quaking with a barrage of blood-curdling war cries.

EFL Cup Final: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fires Man Utd To Victory Against Unlucky Southampton (Video)

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Jose Mourinho picked up his first major trophy with Manchester United after the Red Devils secured a hard-fought and dramatic victory against Southampton at Wembley.

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Saints should have taken the lead early on, only for a close-range effort from Manolo Gabbiandini to be wrongly flagged for offside, when Ryan Bertrand but not the Italian was in an offside position.

Gluttons For Punishment: Without Pie-Eater Wayne Shaw, Sutton Forced To Put Defender In Goal After Regular ‘Keeper Ross Worner Injured v Torquay

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In a rather incredible bit of bad timing, Sutton United were forced to use defender Simon Downer as a makeshift goalkeeper during their clash with Torquay on Saturday, after their regular 'keeper Ross Warner was forced off with injury.

Without their usual reserve goalkeeper, infamous pie-eater Wayne Shaw, poor old Sutton had no back-up goalie on the bench, However, the non-league side still managed to win the game 3-2.

Celtic: French Ace Moussa Dembele Nets Absolute Stunner As Hoops Enjoy 21st Straight Premiership Win (Video)

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Coveted by all of Europe's top clubs, 20-year-old Moussa Dembele continues to shine in Scotland with Celtic.

On Saturday, the much-coveted French striker was in the goal once again, netting a magnificent effort in the Bhoys's 2-0 home win against Hamilton Academical.

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Facing the Scottish Premiership's bottom side at Celtic Park, the hosts were expected to cruise to victory.

Champions Elect: Chelsea Go 11 Points Clear After Cesc Fabregas Inspires Blues To 3-1 Win v Swansea (Video)

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Chelsea increased their lead at the top of the Premier League table to a sizeable 11 points after the Blues secured a deserved but hard-fought win against Swansea at Stamford Bridge.

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Antonio Conte started Cesc Fabregas in midfield and the Spaniard, making his 300th Premier League appearance, was central to the Blues' win.

‘Yesterday My Dream Died’ – Claudio Ranieri Releases Heartbreaking Statement After Being Let Go By Leicester City

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Claudio Ranieri has released a statement following his parting of ways with Leicester City yesterday and, be warned, it's a real heart-breaker.

The statement, released to the Press Association on Friday evening, begins with "Yesterday my dream died" and gets progressively more emotional from there on out.

Terminally Ill Sunderland Superfan Bradley Lowery To Lead England Out At Wembley

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The FA have confirmed that Bradley Lowery, the wee Sunderland fan fighting against a rare form of childhood cancer, will lead England out at Wembley next month.

Bradley has terminalneuroblastoma, and has been given months to live. However, the plucky five-year-old is refusing to go out without a fight.

Hive Of Industry: Scientists At Queen Mary University of London Are Actually Teaching Bees To Play Football (Video)

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Photo: Queen Mary University Of London

As part of their study into the behaviour of bumblebees, scientists at Queen Mary University of London are teaching the honey-hoarding little buggers to play football.

Specifically, the bees have learned how to manipulatetiny 'footballs' in order to score 'goals' and obtain a sweet treat.

Leicester City: Caretaker Boss Craig Shakespeare Denies Rumours ‘Player Revolt’ Led To Claudio Ranieri Sacking

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Infahim, infahim, they all had it in for him!

The first order of business for Leicester City's new caretaker boss wasto deny rumours that Claudio Ranieri was sacked yesterday as the result of a 'player revolt'.

Leading up to the sacking, speculation was rife that Ranieri's squad were up to *here* with his tinkering, with reports even suggesting that a ban on chicken burgers may have been the catalyst for morale tanking over the past few months.

‘Nobody Can Delete Your History’ – Jose Mourinho Pens Lovely Little Commiseration Message For Claudio Ranieri On Instagram

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The reverberations are still being felt today after Leicester City axed Claudio Ranieri on Thursday evening, just nine months after winning the Premier League title.

Sympathy wasn't hard to come by in the aftermath, with several of Ranieri's contemporaries voicing their shock at the supposedly callous nature of his sacking.

Europa League Last-16 Draw: Manchester United Are Off To Russia To Face FC Rostov

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As excitingly dynamic as ever, the draw for the last-16 of the UEFA Europa League has just concluded in Nyon.

Manchester United, the Premier League's sole remaining representatives, have been pitted against FC Rostov, currently seventh in the Russiantop tier and yet to return from their winter break.

Reports: Leicester City ‘Sound Out’ Roberto Mancini As Claudio Ranieri’s Immediate Replacement

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Having parted company with Claudio Ranieri last night, word on the wire is Leicester City are hoping to bringRoberto Mancini back to the club to fill the void.

Aged 36 at the time, Mancini madea small smattering (five) appearances for the Foxes right at the very end of his playing career, becoming something of a cult hero despite failing to score and never once completing a full 90 minutes.

Shit Lookalikes: Eden Hazard (And His Tattoo Cronies) & The Sandlot Kids

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Eden Hazard nipped down to Fulham Tattoo Parlour yesterday to start work on his obligatory standard issue "professional footballer sleeve".

Touching then, that he chose to mark the occasion with ahat-tip to one of the finest movies of the 1990s...

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Ping it over to us at waatpies@gmail.

Copa Verde: Brazilian Cup Will Allow Referees To Show Green Cards For Acts Of Fair Play

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Photo: @CBF_Futebol/Twitter

As you may recall, a new scheme to reward players for admirable sporting conduct was trialled in Italy's Serie B last year, which ultimately saw Vicenza strikerCristian Galano become football's first official recipient of the'green card'.

As approvedby FIFA, referees can administer the green card for 12 clearly defined "exemplaryacts of virtue", including (but not limited to) admittingto simulation and unseen handballs/fouls, preventing teammates from harassing officials, and generally owning up when incorrect decisions are given.

Europa League: Tottenahm Crash Out After Disappointing Wembley Draw v Gent (Video)

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After failing to make it into the last 16 of the Champions League, Tottenham have suffered the same fate in the Europa League, courtesy of a 3-2 aggregate defeat to Belgian side Gent.

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Spurs came into Thursday's second leg at Wembley a goal down but confident of turning the tie around, with Mauricio Pochettino naming a strong side.

Tottenham: Dele Alli Shown First Red Card Of Career For Disgusting Knee-High Lunge On Gent’s Brecht Dejaegere (Video)

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In action at Wembley against Gent in the last-32 of the Europa League, Tottenham's nightbecameall the more challenging in the 39th minute when they suddenly found themselves reduced to tenmen.

Trailing 2-1 on aggregate at the time, Dele Alli was shown the first ever red card of his career for a despicable, petulant lunge on Brecht Dejaegere.

Official: Leicester City Part Company With Claudio Ranieri Just Nine Months After Winning Premier League Title

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Leicester City have just confirmed they've parted company with Claudio Ranieri, the man who delivered untothem the 2015/16 Premier League title just nine short months ago.

The decision was made to pull the plug with the defending champions currently teetering just one place and one point above the 2016/17 relegation zone.

‘Bit Of Glute Work’ – Storm Doris Forces Falkirk Defender To Train On Gridlocked, Snow-Bound Motorway (Video)

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Images: @crackinghealthandnutrition/Instagram

With Storm Doris battering the British Isles, the M80 motorway between Stirling and Glasgow was shut in both directions on Thursday morning due to snow and heavy winds.

Among the many folks stranded in their vehicles on their way to work was Falkirk captain David McCracken, though the 35-year-old centre-half refused to let the weather rob him of his training session.

BT Sport Purchase Rights To Televise Live ‘FIFA 17 Ultimate Championship’ Matches

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BT Sports have announced they've struck a deal that will see them broadcast live FIFA 17 matches on television as of next month.

Indeed, BT have secured the rights to screen the remaining four 'Major' tournaments left in this season's Ultimate Team Championship series.

It all means that eSport fans will be able to watch the world's best FIFA gamers pit themselves against one another in a series of global match-ups on both Xbox One and Playstation 4.

Champions League: Jamie Vardy Ends Goal Drought As Leicester Lose 2-1 Away To Sevilla (Video)

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A second-half goal from the out-of-form Jamie Vardy kept Leicester City well in their Champions League Last 16 tie against Sevilla, with the Foxes losing 2-1 in Spain on Wednesday night.

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Sevilla were the better side throughout the game and had a great chance to score early on,when Wes Morgan fouled Joaquín Correa in the box.

Europa League: Man Utd Cruise Into Last 16 But Lose Mkhitaryan And Carrick To Injury Ahead Of EFL Cup Final (Video)

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Manchester United booked their place in the Last 16 of the Europa League after a convincing 4-0 aggregate win against St. Etienne, with the Red Devils winning the second-leg 1-0 in France on Wednesday.

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Henrikh Mkhitaryan scored the only goal of the game after just 16 minutes, with the Armenian playmaker flicking in a Juan Mata cross.

Non-League: Legendary Cornish Hot-Shot Mark ‘Rappo’ Rapsey Scores 2,000th Goal Of 36-Year Career (Photo & Video)

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Photo: Cornwall Live

Sunday proved to be a momentous day down in the Cornish non-leagues, as one of their greatest exponents first reached and then subsequently passed a truly inspiring milestone.

Having first entered the fray as a spindly adolescentin 1981, Mark Rapsey known to all and sundry as 'Rappo' came on for Wadebridge Veterans against Lanreath and promptly scored the 2,000th and 2,001st goals of his 36-year football career, almost 19 years after he first passed the 1,000-goal mark!

Modern Football Is Rubbish: Man City Install ‘VIP Catwalk’ For When Players Arrive At Etihad Stadium (Photo & Video)

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Photo: @andyhampson/Twitter

Pies were so mesmerisedby Man City's bonkers 5-3 win over Monaco in the Champions League, that we failed to keep you abreast of modern football's latest nadir, witnessed outside the Etihad on the very same night.

City used the match to debut their fantastic new "player walkway" i.

A-League: Western Sydney Wanderers Ban 14 Members Of Supporters Group Responsible For ‘Oral Sex’ Tifo Banner

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Western Sydney Wanderers have issued banning orders to severalmembers of their most prominent supporters' group after an offensive banner was unfurled during last week's feisty derby encounter against Sydney FC.

In fact, Wanderers confirmed that 14 members of their Red and Black Bloc (RBB) fan group have beengiven 18-month stadium bans for their parts in organising and performing the mini-tifo in question.

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This One Before: Donald Trump Was Once Sued By Ex-Leeds Midfielder Olivier Dacourt

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Photos: Getty Images

Of all the myriad enemies Donald Trump has madeover the years, you may be surprised to learn that one of them used to play in midfield for Leeds United.

According to documents stumbled upon by the New York Timeslast year, Trump was once sued by none other than Olivier Dacourt.

Football Tat: Man Utd’s Trip To Saint-Etienne Produces Strange, Terrifying Example Of ‘Half-And-Half’ Merchandise (Photo)

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With Manchester United in town for their Europa League last-32 second legger, Saint-Etienne's Geoffroy Guichard stadium was awash with all the usual souvenir tat you might expect on Wednesday afternoon.

Indeed, the half-and-half scarves were out in force most notably up in the VIP boxes, where the staunchly bi-partisan Mama Pogba was festooned in both green and red as she watched her sons Paul and Florentin square off against one another for the second time in quick succession.

La Liga: West Ham Dud Simone Zaza Scores Exquisite Goal As Valencia Romp To Victory Over Real Madrid (Video)

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Having left West Ham in January with just one shot on target mustered in 16 appearances, Simone Zaza has now scored two goals with his last two efforts on goal in Valencia colours.

After tucking one awayagainst Athletic Bilbao at the weekend, Zaza once again found the back of the net just four minutes into Wednesday evening's game against Real Madrid.

Serie B: Hellas Verona Fan Given Stadium Ban After Attending Match In Swimming Trunks And Flip-Flops (Photo)

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Photo: Sport Mediaset

Proving that the Italian footballing authorities are just as joyless as their English counterparts, one Hellas Verona fan has been handed a banning order for having the gall to wear his dressing gown to a match.

The supporter attended Verona'sawaygame against Avellino on 11th February while wearing a gown, his swimming cap and trunks and a pair of flip-flops.

‘Leroy Sane Owes Me €34,200’ – Man City’s Fifth And Final Goal Against Monaco Costs Unlucky Punter Small Fortune

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While Man City's maddeningChampions League outingagainst Monaco left the majority of its audience dazed, giddy and breathing slightly heavily, the final result came as exquisite heartbreak to one German punter.

When John Stones put City 4-3 up in the 78th minute, Mustafa Celik was within spitting distance oflanding himself a huge windfall, having also put money onAtletico Madrid to beat Bayer Leverkusen in Tuesday evening's other last-16 tie.

Reports: Wayne Rooney May Depart For China Next Week If He Misses Out On Man Utd’s EFL Cup Final Squad

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Cutting the cheese: Wayne Rooney's last act as a Manchester United player?

Having failed to trouble the Manchester United starting line-up for several weeks, rumours have once again begun to churnthat Wayne Rooney will be heading off to China before the Super League's transfer window shuts next week.

‘You’re Not Saving That!’ – Robbie Keane Lets Textbook ‘Competitive Dad’ Streak Ruin Garden Kick-About With Son (Video)

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Currently without a club and fully retired from international duty, Robbie Keane has suddenly found himself with oodlesmore free time to spend knocking around the house with his family.

Judging from the 36-year-old's latest Facebook dispatch, his young son Robbie Jnr must be positively overjoyed at the prospect.

Champions League: Saúl Ñíguez Scores Solo Stunner As Atletico Madrid Beat Bayer Leverkusen 4-2 In Germany (Video)

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Atletico Madrid put themselves firmly in control of their Last 16 tie with Bayer Leverkusen after enjoying an impressive 4-2 victory away at theBayArena On Tuesday night.

Goal of the game came courtesy of Spanish midfielder Saúl Ñíguez, who produced a magnificent solo effort to open the scoring on 17 minutes.

Champions League: Man City Twice Come From Behind v Monaco To Win Eight-Goal Thriller At The Etihad (Video)

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Manchester City twice came from behind to win a dramatic eight-goal thriller at home to Monaco in their Last 16 first-leg Champions League tie on Tuesday night.

The game was a dramatic mix of superb attacking play and woeful defending but one which will live long in the memory.

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Raheem Sterling opened the scoring for the Citizens on 26 minutes, after some superb play from German winger Leroy Sane.

Arsenal: Stray ‘Wenger Out’ Placard Spotted At Anti-Trump Protest Rally In Central London (Photo)

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"Oh come on..."

WhileArsenal were busy seeing off Sutton United on the outskirts of town, aprotest took place in central London on Monday night, with people gathering to call for President Trump's upcoming state visit to be cancelled.

However, one protester seized the opportunity to make his opinionheard on a different topic entirely by bringing his "Wenger Out" placard along for good measure.

FA Cup: Arsenal Donate £50,000 To Sutton United To Help Build Two Classrooms For Local Kids

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Thankfully, it would appear that Arsenal's FA Cup fifth-round visit to Sutton United will leave a legacy behind that extends some way beyond a 23-stone bloke eating a pie.

FA rules prevented Arsenal from simply donating their share of the £100,000 gate receipts to Sutton.

However, as revealed by manager Paul Doswell after the match, the Gunners found a way to contribute a sizeable sum of money to the non-league side's coffers regardless.

Bayern Munich: Carlo Ancelotti Will Not Be Punished For Giving Gobby Hertha Berlin Fans The Finger (Video)

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The DFB have confirmed that Carlo Ancelotti won't face punishment for sticking his middle finger up at opposing fans duringBayern Munich's Bundesliga tie against Hertha Berlin last Saturday.

The Bayern coach was seenmaking the gesture at Hertha fans as he made his way back to the Allianz Arena dressing rooms following the 1-1 draw.

Sutton United Goalkeeper Wayne Shaw Subject Of Gambling Commission Probe Into Sun-Sponsored Pie Stunt

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Image: BBC Sport

My how we all laughed as Wayne Shaw, Sutton United's 'roly poly goalie', crammed a pie into his face as he sat on the bench during last night's FA Cup fifth-round tie against Arsenal.

In the 83rd minute of the match (with Sutton having made their three permitted subs), Shaw who had become something of a one-man side-show over the course of the day pulled out a steak pie and ate it, safe in the knowledge he wasn't going to be called upon by manager Paul Doswell.

FA Cup: Sutton Reserve Goalkeeper Wayne Shaw Ate All The Pies On Bench During Arsenal Clash (Video)

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Sutton's superb FA Cup run has turned reserve goalkeeper and goalkeeping coach Wayne Shaw into something of a minor celebrity, with the big-boned stopper even receiving an offer to pose naked for a magazine.

During Sutton's fifth round clash with Arsenal on Monday night, the 20 stone 45-year-old decided to celebrate the glamorous evening by tucking into a pie on the subs bench, only once all three changes had already been made mind.

FA Cup: Theo Walcott Nets 100th Arsenal Goal As Sutton’s Incredible Run Finally Ends At Gander Green Lane (Photos & Video)

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Arsenal booked their place in the last eight of the FA Cup after a deserved yet challenging victory away to non-league side Sutton United, a team 105 places below the Gunners on the English football ladder.

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Sutton were rewarded for beating Leeds United in the fourth round with a glamour home tie against Arsenal, a side smarting after their 5-1 midweek hammering by Bayern Munich.

Neil Warnock Politely Requests ‘Minute Of Booing’ At Every Football Ground On The Occasion Of His Death

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Whatever your precise opinion of Neil Warnock, the man has most definitely securedhis nicheasone of English football's most persistentpantomime villains.

The Cardiff City boss is loathed by opposing fans up and down the leagues, thanks to hissustained commitment to referee barracking, scowlingtouchline pontification and of course his trademark line in both passive and overtly aggressive post-match diatribes.

‘It’s The Strangest Thing That’s Happened So Far’ – Sutton United Reserve ‘Keeper Wayne Shaw Reveals He’s Been Asked To Pose Naked

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It's fair to say Sutton United have been revellingin the attention brought about by their remarkable FA Cup run, especially tonight's fifth-round tie against Arsenal.

Indeed, reserve goalkeeper Wayne Shaw has become something of an unlikely star, with the 45-year-old, 20 stone "Roly Poly Goalie"being singled out as the physical embodiment of the non-league dream.

Missed Sitter Causes Rangers Coach Graeme Murty To Perform Impressive Headstand On Touchline (Video)

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Photo: Jane Barlow/PA

They might well be third in the table, but Rangers are currently languishing a whopping 30 points behind leaders Celticin what has proved to be a fairly turgid return to the Scottish Premiership.

Fair play then, to interim manager Graeme Murty, who attempted to inject a bit of fun into Sunday's drab 2-1 defeat against Dundee with an impromptu gymnastics display on the touchline.

Horror Hair Revisited: Ronaldo Explains The Science Behind Dreadful Haircut At 2002 World Cup

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Despite scoring eight goals on his way to winning the darned thing with Brazil, mention 'Ronaldo at the 2002 World Cup' and only one thing should pop into the skull of any self-respecting football fan: his ludicrous hair.

The formidable striker adopted a brave new look from the semi-final onward, turning up with a wedgeof unshaven hair perched on the prowof his pate a lunatic fringe if you will.

Partizan’s Brazilian Midfielder Everton Luiz Leaves Pitch In Tears After Receiving Monkey Chants For Duration Of Belgrade Derby

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Photo: Starsport(via B92)

Partizan Belgrade midfielder Everton Luiz left the field in tears after being subjected to racist abuse from FK Rad fans for the entire duration of Sunday's Serbian top-flight derby matchbetween the cross-city rivals.

According to Serbian broadcasters B92, the Rad fans goadedLuizwith monkey chants every time hetouched the ball.

Serie A: Everton Loanee Gerard Deulofeu Scores Sublime Effort For Milan v Fiorentina (Video)

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Gerard Deulofeu got off the mark for new loan side Milan on Sunday night, with the Everton playmaker scoring a beauty against Fiorentina at the San Siro.

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Juraj Kucka opened the scoring 16 minutes, with the Slovakian midfielder heading home from aJosé Sosa free-kick.

FA Cup: Super-Subs Ibrahimovic And Pogba Fire Man Utd Into Last Eight After 2-1 Win v Blackburn (Video)

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Paul Pogba saved the day for Manchester United on Sunday evening, with the two substitutes combining for the winning goal against Blackburn in a tense clash at Ewood Park.

Embed from Getty Images (A definite dive from the young chap, there).

Rovers took the lead on 17 minutes, with ex-Swansea striker Danny Graham calmly firing past Sergio Romero after a lovely through-ball from the impressiveMarvin Emnes.

FA Cup Quarter-Final Draw: Chelsea Host Holders Man Utd In Heavyweight Clash While Lincoln Travel To Arsenal Or Fellow Non-League Side Sutton

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After a dramatic FA Cup fifth round, the draw for the quarter-finals produced a mouthwatering set of clashes on Sunday night.

The stand-out tie sees top-flightgiants Chelsea and holders Manchester United go head to head at Stamford Bridge, with Antonio Clonte's Premier League leaderslooking to win the double.

Mass Sulk: Vietnamese Team Stop Playing Entirely In Protest Over Dubious Late Penalty Call (Video)

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The Vietnamese top-flight game between Ho Chi Minh City and Long An came to a surreal conclusion on Sunday evening when the away side simply refused to play for the final few minutes.

With the score level at 2-2 and the game entering its final stages, Ho Chi Minh were awarded a dubious penalty whichlooked about as soft as they come.

FA Cup: Harry Kane Nets Fifth Career Hat-Trick For Tottenham In Comfortable 3-0 Win v Fulham (Video)

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Harry Kane netted all three goals as Tottenham cruised to victory away to Championship side Fulham on Sunday afternoon.

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The opening goal came on 16 minutes, after Kieran Trippier's long throw set up Christian Eriksen, with the Dane crossing for Kane to score from close-range.

La Liga: Gareth Bale Returns From Injury To Net Fine Goal For Real Madrid v Espanyol (Video)

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Gareth Bale marked his return to action on Saturday with a fine goal in Real Madrid's 2-0 home win against Espanyol.

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Bale has been out of action for three months due to an ankle injury, but the Welsh superstar looked sharp in a cameo roleat the Bernabeu on Saturday.

FA Cup: Last Gasp Winner Sees Millwall Knock Out Premier League Champs Leicester At The Den (Video)

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After producing one of the biggest sporting shocks of all-time by winning the Premier League last season, nobody expected Leicester City to sustain that kind of fairytale form in this campaign.

However, this season's hangover has been far worse than expected, with the relegation-threatened Foxes dumped out of the FA Cup by Millwall on Saturday afternoon.

‘Wasn’t Trying To Get The Big Man Sent Off’ – Joey Barton Pleads Innocent After Blatantly Trying To Get Lincoln City’s Big Man Sent Off

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After trying an failing to rile Lincoln City with his full repertoire of arseholery, Joey Barton has attempted to explain away his blatant attempt to get striker Matt Rhead sent off.

Having already cuffedLincoln's Terry Hawkridge across the snout, Barton fiendishly tried to engineer a red for Rhead by first treading on the striker's toes and then pretending he'd beenelbowed in the face while defending a corner.

FA Cup: Non-League Lincoln Make History By Beating Burnley Despite Trademark Joey Barton Nonsense (Video)

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Turf Moor has been something of a fortress this season for Burnley. However, on Saturday the Premier League side found themselves on the wrong end of the mother of all shocks, with non-league Lincoln City producing an incredible 1-0 win.

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Lincoln matched their top-flight opponents throughouta scrappy 90 minutes, with very few genuine chances for either side.

Serie A: Juventus Striker Paulo Dybala Arrows Home Stunning Free-Kick Against Former Club Palermo (Video)

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Juventus extended theirlead at the top of Serie A to 10 points on Friday after a convincing 4-1 win against Palermo in Turin.

Ex-Palermo star Paulo Dybala was the star of the show for Juve, bagging a brace which included an outstanding first-half free-kick.

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Dybala made the move to Palermo from Argentina in 2012, quickly becoming a star for the Sicilian club.

Pioneering: Tactics Guru Dean Saunders Reckons Arsenal Should Have Used 5-2-4 Formation To Stifle Bayern Munich (Video)

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Dean Saunders appeared on Sky Sports News today to deconstruct Arsenal's 5-1 disembowelling at the hands of Bayern Munich in midweek.

Showing the kind of flair for tactics that has served him well throughout his managerial career, Saunders tore into Arsenal before proffering forth his own suggested tactical approach for keeping the German giants quiet.

Norwegian Top-Flight Club Kristiansund BK Use Crowdfunding To Sign New Defender

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Nikita Baranov is unveiled at Kristiansund (Photo: @KristiansundBK/Twitter)

Norwegian top-flight side Kristiansund BK have utilised an alternative income streamto help bolster their squad ahead of their new season.

With the 2017 Eliteserien campaign due to kick off in early April, KBK were able to bring in a handfulof free transfers over the off-season.

Watford Announce Plans To Build Statue Of Graham Taylor Outside Vicarage Road

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Watford have announced that they are planning to stage a two-pronged tribute to former manager and chairmanGraham Taylor, who sadly passed away last month.

First up will be a statue of Taylor which is to be sited outside Vicarage Road though the precise location is still being discussed with Taylor's family and Watford Borough Council.

Europa League: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Nets Thrice As Man Utd Ease To 3-0 Win Over Saint-Etienne (Video)

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A Zlatan Ibrahimovic hat-trick helped Manchester United to a comfortable 3-0 win at home to Saint Etienne on Thursday night.

The 35-year-old veteran has enjoyed superb maiden season with United and opened the scoring on 15 minutes, courtesy of a heavily deflected free-kick which caught out goalkeeper Stephane Ruffier.

Thousands Of Chile Fans To March Through Santiago In Support Of Alexis Sanchez Leaving Arsenal

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Fed up at seeing their main man let down by his teammates, thousands of Chile fans have organised a campaign to persuade Alexis Sanchez to ditch Arsenal at the end of the season.

A Facebook event page has been set up called "National March for Alexis Sanchez to leave Arsenal", with over 5,000 Chilean zealots signing up to march through the city of Santiago on 1st March.

‘I Will Manage Next Season, Whether It’s Here Or Somewhere Else’ – Arsene Wenger To Make Decision On Arsenal Future Before End Of Season

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With indignation reaching a pitch once again, Arsene Wenger has gone and put a time frame on his big decision, i.e.whether or not to stay on at Arsenal beyond the end of the season.

Speaking at a press conference ahead of Monday's FA Cup game against Sutton United, Wenger also revealed that retirement is not an option at present.

FAIL: Club America Midfielder Javier Guemez Attempts To Pull Off ‘Blanco Bounce’, Promptly Concedes Throw-In (Video)

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Image: Univision Deportes

Having begun his career there before going on to make almost 400 appearances in blue and cream, Cuauhtemoc Blanco breathes rarefied air when it comes to Club America.

The grizzled veteran even returned to make one last commemorative appearance for America last season before finally bowing out of professional football at the age of 44.

Apoplectic: Motherwell Boss Mark McGhee Filmed Swearing After Being Sent To Stands, Threatens Legal Action (Video)

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Motherwell manager Mark McGhee appeared to threaten legal action in the aftermath of his side's heavy defeat against Aberdeen in Scottish Premiership.

However, McGhee wasn't consideringsuing overWell's criminal performance in the 7-2 loss, rather the fact that he was filmed by a fan after getting himself sent to the stands in the latter stages.

‘Same Again Next Year?’ – Bayern Munich Post Cheeky Tweet After Groundhog Day For Gunners In Germany

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As Arsenal slumped to yet another feeble defeat at the hands of Bayern Munich on Wednesday night, the German giant's media team were in no mood to go easy on Arsene Wenger's frail collective.

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Prior to the current campaign, Bayern has eliminated Arsenal in each of the two side's previous three knockout encounters, including in two of the last four seasons.

‘When You See Gibbs With The Armband, You Know You’re In Trouble’ – Roy Keane Sums Up Arsenal’s Champions League Shortcomings In Brilliantly Blunt Fashion

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Photo: ITV

In case you're wondering what all the screamingis about, Arsenal lost a football match last night. It was quite an important match and they lost fairlyheavily.

Some have taken Bayern Munich's 5-1 nobbling of the Gunners to be a sure signofthe impending apocalypse, some are viewingit as a harbinger of the Ozymandian demise of Arsene Wenger's empire and some, perhaps naively, are simply taking it as a thoroughly embarrassing football result.

Man Utd: Wayne Rooney Stars Alongside Wolverine In New Trailer For ‘Logan’ Movie (Video)

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It might be a little late for inclusion at the 2017 Oscars, but the board may just make an exception when they see Wayne Rooney's stark, compelling portrayal of Wayne Rooney in the latest product of Manchester United's corporate tie-in with 20th Century Fox.

Indeed, Rooney has a cameo in the new trailer for the upcoming 'Logan' movie an origin story about a wild, hairy, fierce and barely house-trained young manbeast who is struggling to find his place in the team.

Paul Merson Has Concluded That Harry Redknapp Is ‘Better Tactically’ Than Arsene Wenger

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After studiously crunching the data over a number of sleepless nights, Paul Merson has come to the conclusion that Arsene Wenger is tactically inferior to English football's greatest exponent of the totaalvoetball philosophy, Henry James 'Harry' Redknapp.

Having played under both managers, Merse is well placed to comment and appeared on TalkSPORT to present his findings in seminar form.

Preston Ask 4,700 Fans To Wear Simon Grayson Masks In Honour Of Manager’s Four-Year Anniversary

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Preston North End have announced plans to celebrate the fourth anniversary of Simon Grayson taking charge at Deepdale with a very special tribute to their long(ish)-serving manager.

Having been in situ for an absolute age (in relative, Football League-specific terms), Grayson will be met by the harrowing sight of 4,700 other Simon Graysons staring back at him from the away end before this Saturday's sell-out trip to Wigan.

Champions League: Bayern Munich Enjoy Freedom Of Allianz As Feeble Arsenal Capitulate Right On Cue (Photos & Video)

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Bayern Munich enjoyed the freedom of the Allianz Arena as they well and truly eviscerated Arsenal in the first leg of their Champions League last-16 tie.

The usual then.

Indeed, the Gunners were monumentally outclassed in almost every regard as Bayern beatthem in what quickly came to resemblethe footballing equivalent of an elongated squash match.

WSL: Man City Sign USA Legend And Two-Time Women’s World Player Of The Year Carli Lloyd

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Manchester City Women have signed USA superstar Carli Lloyd on a short-term deal from Houston Dash.

The 34-year-old, who has won World Cup and two Olympic gold medals joins City in a deal which which will see her line out forthe Women's Super League champions for the duration of the 2017 Spring Serieswhich ends in May.

Champions League: Casemiro Scores Absolutely Bonkers Volley As Real Madrid Spank Napoli At Bernabeu (Video)

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Despite fallingbehind after just eight minutes at the Bernabeu, Real Madrid eventuallyrallied to sew up a comfortable 3-1 first-leg victory over Napoli before thehour mark.

Karim Benzema equalised and Toni Kroos nudged Madrid back ahead before Casimero rattled home a third just after half-time with an absolutely bonkers volley from outside the area.

Darmstadt: Ex-President Barack Obama Revealed To Be Massive Fan Of Bundesliga’s Bottom Club

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While Arsenal have the Queen and Liverpool have James Bond, it's been discovered that the team currently rock bottom of the Bundesliga may just be able to boast the biggest celebrity fan of them all.

Thanks to some digging by a local radio station, it was found that among the 631,000 accounts Barack Obama follows on Twitter, only one belongs to a professional football club.

Champions League: Angel Di Maria Bags Brace As PSG Batter Barcelona At Parc Des Princes (Photos & Video)

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A brace from Angel Di Maria helped PSG to a shock 4-0 win against Barcelona on Tuesday night, with the Spaniards totally outplayed in the first leg of the Last 16 tie.

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The French giants started superbly and took the lead through a superb free-kick from Di Maria on 18 minutes.

Asamoah Gyan (And 45 Other Players) Found Guilty Of Sporting ‘Unethical Hair’ By UAE Football Assocation

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Asamoah Gyan is one of 46 players deemed to have "unethical hair" according to theUnited Arab Emirates Football Association (UAEFA) guidelines.

As per BBC Sport, Gyan, who currently plays for Al-Ahli in Dubai, is guilty of sporting a 'Qaza' barnet, which are forbiddenby some of the stricter strains of Islam adhered toin Saudi Arabia.

You Might Notice Something Incredibly Familiar About USA’s Groundbreaking New Red Kit (Photos)

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Photo: US Soccer

The USA have proudly unveiled their new kit for 2017, with both the men's and women's teams finding themselves furnished with new wares under the slogan "One nation, one team."

According to the Nike blurb, the strip features "a bold red colour palette" with a "pervasive red aesthetic" and "patriotic flares".

West Ham: Slaven Bilic To The Rescue As Young Fan Patiently Waits To Meet Andy Carroll In Freezing Cold (Photos)

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Photos: @matthill_33/Twitter West Ham/Arfa Griffiths/Getty Images

While he may be the gravel-voiced scourge of pitchside microphones everywhere, deep down Slaven Bilic is actually a big old softieboots.

Case in point being this lovely little yarn, as regaled by West Ham fan Matt Hill.

Man Utd Target Antoine Griezmann Insists He’s Perfectly Happy At Atletico Madrid Thank You Very Much

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With a prospective move to Manchester United keeping the rumour mill churning for what seems like an age, Antoine Griezmann has finally piped up to let everybody know that's he's perfectly happy at Atletico Madrid.

That said, in doing so, the French forwardalso revealed that he's been studiously mulling over his options of late.

FAIL: Newcastle Goalkeeper Karl Darlow Drops Almighty Clanger In 2-2 Draw With Norwich (Video)

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Sod PSG-Barca; the real four-goal thriller of the night unfolded at Carrow Road, where Norwich and Newcastle played out a frenetic 2-2 draw.

Having gone 1-0 up less than 25 seconds after kick-off, Newcastle were swiftly pegged back by two quick goals from Jacob Murphy and Cameron Jerome.

The latter was a real peach, with 'keeper Karl Darlow claiming the assist courtesy of a truly woefulattempted clearance that was sliced directly into Jerome's path.

‘I Wouldn’t Recommend It For Elite Athletes’ – Corby Town’s Pint-Swigging Defender Admits He Got Severe Heartburn Shortly Afterwards

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He may have become something of a non-league superstar as a result, but the Corby Town defender caught swigging from a fan's beer has admitted that he now truly regrets his actions.

Jason Lee was photographed helping himself to a mid-match quaff while his teammates celebrated their winning goal in last Saturday's vital win over Mickleover Sports.

Modern Football Is Rubbish: Philadelphia Union Looking To Hire ‘Chief Tattoo Officer’

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When it comes to professional footballers, you don't have to go far to find a tattoo be it massive full-limb sleeves or a pistol-toting chimpanzee.

As such, Philadelphia Union are taking steps to further meld the worlds of football and body art by hiring their very own, in-house 'tattoo officer'.

‘An Unbelievable Touch’ – Harry Arter Praises Pep Guardiola After Man City Boss Makes Moving Post-Match Gesture

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While there is a tendency to cast Pep Guardiola as some sort of cold, awkward, unfeeling, possession-obsessed android, the Man City manager certainly managed to pass himself off as human in the wake of his side's 2-0 win over Bournemouth on Monday night.

After the final whistle, Guardiola made his way over to Harry Arter in order to deliver a personal message of congratulation to the Cherries midfielder.

Here’s Your Chance To Own An Airdrieonians Shirt Signed By Luke Skywalker (Photo)

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Photo: Airdrieonians FC

In tribute to one of their own, Airdrieonians have eschewed a shirt sponsor in favour of gracing the front of their home strip with the face of Mark Allison, the "super fan" who sadly lost his long fight againstpancreatic cancer in early 2016.

Indeed, the fan-owned Scottish League One side will play with Allison's portrait on their shirt for the remainder of the season though that's not the be all and end all of the gesture, oh no.

Generosity, Thy Name Is Craig Gardner: Birmingham Midfielder Pays For 50 Families To Attend Game Against QPR

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Courtesy of Craig Gardner, 50 families will be watching Birmingham's upcoming Championship game against QPR completely free of charge.

The midfielder, who re-signed for Birmingham in January, stumped up to buy a block of tickets which were then given away on a first come, first serve basis via the official clubwebsite.

FA Cup: Sutton United Strike One-Off Sponsorship Deal With The Sun For Fifth-Round Tie Against Arsenal (Photos)

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Sutton United have announced that they'll be turning out for next Monday's FA Cup fifth-round clash against Arsenal with The Sun's logo emblazoned across their shirts.

Specifically, the National League side have struck a deal to have SunBet replace their usual sponsor, Green Go Waste, on their jerseysfor the televised game.

Man City: Citizens Go Second After Hard-Fought Win At Bournemouth (Photos & Video)

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Manchester City moved to within eight points of league leaders Chelsea on Monday night, courtesy of a hard-fought win away to Bournemouth.

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Pep Guardiola once again favoured Gabriel Jesus over Sergio Aguero, who was left onthe bench once again. However, within 14 minutes Jesus was forced off with an injury, with the Argentinian replacing him.

Official: Yakubu Signs For Coventry City On Short-Term Contract

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It's official. The Yak is back and there ain't a gosh darn thing y'all can do about it.

After impressing on triallast week, Coventry City have taken up the option to sign ex-Everton, Portsmouth and Nigeria striker Yakubu Aiyegbeni on a short-term contract until the end of the season...

SIGNING: #CCFC complete the signing of striker Yakubu Aiyegbeni until end of the current season.

Man Of His Word: Gary Neville Upholds Promise To Appear On Arsenal Fan TV (Video)

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As you may or may not be aware, Gary Neville recently incurred the wrath of Arsenal Fan TV after criticising the 'Wenger Out' brigade while co-commentating on the Gunners' 3-1 defeat against Chelsea a week or so back.

Neville branded one fan "an idiot" for holding up an anti-Wenger placard during the match before going on to criticise Arsenal Fan TV directly after the match, calling the infamously rant-orientated Youtube channel an "embarrassment" to the club.

Serie B: Perugia’s Francesco Nicastro Scores Incredible Back-Heeled Volley To Seal Win Over Ternana (Video)

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Sunday's Serie B clash between Ternana and Perugia produced only one goal in the 90 minutes. However, what a goal it was.

The moment of pure, unadulterated magic came on 75 minutes, with Perugia pushing for the winner.

Following a cross from the right flank, strikerFrancesco Nicastro produced an incredible, acrobatic finish, jumping in the air before back-heeling the ball back into the net.

Burnley: ‘Heroic’ Fan Saves Woman And Baby From Ashley Barnes’ Wayward Shooting (Video)

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One Burnley fanis being hailed as a hero after saving a much younger counterpart from a face-full of football during yesterday's 1-1 draw against Chelsea.

At one point in the early knockings, Ashley Barnes let rip with a powerful shot that went sailing wide of Thibaut Courtois' goal.

However, just as Barnes' wayward effort was about to hita woman holding her baby in the stand behind the goal,a saviour appeared from the row behind to swat the ball away.

La Liga: Fernando Torres Scores Excellent, Instinctive Overhead Kick As Atletico Madrid Just About Pip Celta (Video)

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Atletico Madrid just about squeaked the win over Celta Vigo in La Liga on Sunday, with Fernando Torres having what's known in the trade as a 'Fernando Torres' of an evening.

Indeed, the striker opened the scoring in the 11th minute with a brilliant, impulsive overhead kick making the best of a slightly over-hit pass to send the ball arching high over his own head, over Celta 'keeper Sergio Alvarez and inside the far post.

Bayern Munich: Carlo Ancelotti Admits He Has ‘No Control’ Over His Majestic Eyebrows

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Carlo Ancelotti has bravely addressed the one aspect of his personaland private life that fans have been speculating fervently over for years.

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We are of course talking about his magnificent eyebrows, which are so ridiculously expressive that you'd be forgiven for assuming they were being operated by animatronic puppeteers behind the scenes.

Shit Lookalike: Hector Bellerin & Credence Barebone (From ‘Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them’)

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One is a spindly, pasty waif with a terrible haircut, perpetually struggling tofind his positionin the world.

The other is a J.K. Rowlingcharacter.

Got a decent Shit Lookalike for Pies? Bung it over to us at waatpies@gmail.com and we'll gladly give it a look-see...

Robin Van Persie Banned For ‘Insulting’ Besiktas By Celebrating Goal Directly In Front Of Opposing Defender (Video)

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The Turkish Football Federation (TFF) have given Robin van Persie (RVP) a two-match ban after the Fenerbahce striker's behaviour was deemed to have been "insulting" during last Sunday's cup game against Besiktas.

Van Persie began by hitting the deck to get Besiktas centre-back Dusko Tosic sent off, before becoming embroiled in a verbal altercation with Tosic's defensive partnerOguzhan Ozyakup.

Dutch Deceit: Ajax Defender Joël Veltman Fools Opponent By Pointing To Injured Player Before Dribbling Away (Video)

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For those bemoaning the end of real sportsmanship in football, the Dutch Eredivisie produced another moment of gamesmanship during Ajax's clash with Sparta Rotterdam.

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The incident occurred on the right flank, when Joël Veltman had the ball at his feet. Seeing one of his teammates on injured on the floor, the defender stopped and pointed at the crocked player, before cheekily dribbling away down the wing while his opponent looked away.

Mic Wrecka: West Ham Boss Slaven Bilic Sent To Stands After Taking Frustrations Out On Pitchside Microphone (Video)

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A late Gareth McAuley goal earned West Brom a dramatic draw at the London Stadium on Saturday, after West Ham had looked set to secure a precious three points.

That late goal understandably left Hammers' boss Slaven Bilic tearing his hair (transplant) out, with the Croatian manager taking out his frustrations on a pitch-side TV microphone.

Non-League: Corby Town Player Celebrates Vital Goal With Sneaky Mid-Game Beer (Photo)

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So vital was Corby Town's goal against Mickleover Sports on Saturday that one of their players decided the only fitting manner in which to celebrate it was with an impromptu mid-game toast.

As the Corby team flocked to frolic with their fans, one of their number seizedthe opportunity for a sneaky tipple.

Robbie Brady Scores Exquisite Free-Kick As Burnley Hold Chelsea At Turf Moor (Video)

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Premier League league leaders Chelsea were held at Turf Moor on Sunday, with Burnley getting a deserved share of the spoils after another impressive display on home soil.

Robbie Brady was the goalscorer for the Clarets, with the sub firing home an exquisite free-kick in the second-half.

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The Blues were looking to extend their lead at the top of the table to 12 points, and took the lead early on, with Pedro providing the cutting edge to a fine break.

Liverpool: Reds Deploy Ingenious ‘Kneeling Coutinho’ Tactic To Thwart Tottenham Free-Kick (Video)

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Liverpool produced a superb, vibrant display against Tottenham on Saturday evening, deservedly beating the Lilywhites 2-0 courtesy of a quickfire first-half brace from Sadio Mané.

The Merseysiders thwarted the high-flying north Londoners throughout the game, even deploying a very clever Brazilian trick to stop Christian Eriksen from scoring a free-kick.

Arsenal: Sanchez Bags Brace As Gunners Get Helping Hand In 2-0 Win Against Hull City (Video)

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Arsenal produced yet another unconvincing display at the Emirates on Saturday, with the Gunners struggling to beat relegation strugglers Hull City 2-0 at the Emirates.

Alexis Sanchez was once again the saviour for the north Londoners, with the Chilean attacker netting both goals with a couple of helping hands.

Screamers: Norwich Score Couple Of ‘Goal Of The Season’ Contenders In 5-1 Walloping Of Nott’m Forest (Videos)

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Photo: @NorwichCityFC/Twitter

Norwich brought Nottingham Forest's mini-upturnto an abrupt endwith a brutal 5-1 evisceration at Carrow Road on Saturday afternoon.

The Canaries came flying out of the traps and quickly overwhelmed Forest with an attacking onslaught that seemed to last all game.

Stoke City vs West Brom: Mark Hughes Accuses Tony Pulis Of Calling Ryan Shawcross ‘A Loser’ In Absurd Voicemail Palaver

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The strangest tale is currently brewing betwixt West Brom and Stoke City, all set against the backdrop ofSaido Berahino's recent £12million transfer from the former to the latter.

Shortly before the two sides met in the Premier League last weekend, the press managed to get hold of word thatBerahino served a clandestine drugs banduring his prolonged period of inactivity at the Baggies.

Morecambe Boss Jim Bentley Treats Every Fan To Free Pie And Pint As ‘Thank You’ For Paying Off FA Fine

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As a mark of gratitude, Morecambe fans attending today's against Cambridge will all be treated to a complimentary pie and pint courtesy of manager Jim Bentley.

A couple of weeks ago, Bentley was reduced to tears when Morecambe fans clubbed together to pay off the £1,000 fine he incurred from the FA after being sent to the stands and charged with improper conduct during a game against Cheltenham in December.

Liverpool Bans The Sun Newspaper From Anfield Over Hillsborough Coverage

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Liverpool FC have banned journalists from the Sun from attending all the club's premises over the newspaper's infamous coverage of the Hillsborough disaster.

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The newspaper, then edited by Kelvin McKenzie, ran a story four days after the Hillsborough in 1989 which accused Liverpool fans of pickpocketing and urinating on the victims as well as attacking policemen on the scene.

‘It’s Difficult To Adjust Sometimes’ – Johnny Heitinga Opens Up On Life Without Private Jets And Personal Shoppers

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Photo: @johnheitinga/Instagram

Ex-Everton defender Johnny Heitinga has been breaking hearts in his native Holland after giving an interview that exposed the hardships he and his family are facing since he retired from professional football.

Turns out that since calling time on his career at the end of last season, Heitinga has been scrimping and saving to get by, even having to forgo some of life's basics private jets, luxury villas, personal shoppers as a result.

Premier League: Paul Clement Named January Manager Of The Month After Dragging Swansea Out Of Drop Zone (Photo)

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Photo: @premierleague/Twitter

Paul Clement has been named Premier League 'Manager of the Month' for January in his very first month in charge at Swansea City.

Having taken over on 3rd Januarywith Swansea bottom of the league, Clement produced three wins from his first five games to end the month one point outside the relegation zone.

Everton: Legendary Hardnut Duncan Ferguson Names Three Toughest Defenders He Played Against

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Having attained legendary status at Everton by pummelling his way to the top, Duncan Ferguson has now settled into a more sedate coachingrole at the club.

During a chat with The Times about his new, mellower professionalpersona, Big Dunc (a self-confessed "big softie" these days) was asked to namethe three toughest opponentshe came up against during his playing days.

Official: Jordan Ayew Unveiled By Swansea, Joins Weird Squad Number Brigade (Photo)

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Thanks to the Africa Cup of Nations, it's taken Swansea a good week to get around to unveiling Jordan Ayew after sealing his signature on deadline day.

Indeed, Swanseanabbed the 25-year-old Ghana international from Aston Villain a swapsy deal that saw defenderNeil Taylor (as well as £5million incold, hard cash) go the other way.

Shit Football Kits: Behold The Hideous ‘Bruised Purple’ Liverpool Strip That Never Was… (Photos)

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If the following photos are anything to go by, it would appear Liverpool dodged a nauseating bullet at some point around the turn of the 1990s.

With the era of 'kitchen sink' football kit design at it's gaudy peak, it looks like Adidas were planning to bestow and absolute howler of an away shirton the Reds.

Retro Football: Leeds Pin-Up Vinnie Jones Models For Top Man, 1989 (Photo)

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Pin-up in waiting: Vinnie Jones during his Wimbledon days

Having made his name at the thinking man's nutcase at Wimbledon, Vinnie Jones made the leap to Leeds United before the1989/90 season.

Jones arrived amida frenetic £2million summer spending frenzy that saw manager Howard Wilkinson splurge on the likes of Mel Sterland, John Hendrie and Jim Beglin.

FA Cup: Ndidi And Gray Net Crackers As Leicester Beat Derby In Tight Fourth Round Replay (Video)

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Leicester City booked their place in the fifth round of the FA Cup on Wednesday night, with the Premier League champions beating Championship side Derby 3-1 after extra-time in a tight replay at the King Power Stadium.

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After a poor first-half, the two under-strength sides upped the tempo, with Andy King scoring in the first minute of the second period, after Demarai Gray's cross washeaded back across goal by Marc Albrighton.

Serie A: ‘Healthy’ Fan Turfed Out Of Hospital After Attempting To Watch Crotone-Juventus Game From Window Overlooking Stadium

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A football fan was turfed out of hospital in Crotone on Wednesday night afterattempting to get himself admitted to the wards on the upper floors for reasons ever so slightly less than genuine.

With Crotone having been promoted to Serie A for the first time in their history, the demand for the midweek visit of Juventus was so great that the club's ticket office sold out.

‘I Have Three World Class Goalkeepers’ – Arsene Wenger Rules Out Arsenal Taking £15m Summer Dabble On Joe Hart

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Amid a flurry of tabloid chatter, Arsene Wenger has ruled out making a move for Joe Hart come the end of the season.

Speculation was rife on Thursday morning that Arsenal were preparing a £15million offer for Hart, who is currently plugging away at Torino on a season-long getawayfrom Man City.

‘Paranoia’ – Royston ‘Roya2Face’ Drenthe Releases New Hip-Hop Single (Video)

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Rejoice fair people of Pies, for Royston Drenthe is dipping his sainted toe back in the rap game.

'Roya2Faces', ashis mother probably refuses to call him, has dropped a new hip-hop banger entitled'Paranoia'...

The Dutch language doesn't really lend itself to rap it's like listening to a flu patientpolitely attempting to clear his throat for three and a half minutes.

World Record: Argentinian Fifth-Tier Club Cram 50 Different Sponsors Onto New Home Shirt (Photos)

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Photo: Ole

A plucky team from the Argentinian fifth tier are attempting to get themselves into the record books by cramming more sponsor logos onto their shirt than any other team have ever dared to do.

Asociacion Deportiva Centenario (more commonly known as ADC) debuted their new jersey in the first game of the Federal Torneo C, taking to the field with over 50 sponsors adorning their blue and white strip.

Official Move: Ex-Premier League Super-Ref Howard Webb Heads West To Oversee US Video Assistant Project

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Former Premier League referee Howard Webbhas landed himself a big new job in the USA.

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The 45-year-old, who currently works as a pundit for BT Sports, willjoin the North American Professional Referee Organisation as 'Manager of Video Assistant Referee Operations', a role which will see him take charge of "the development and education, assessment, and assignment of Video Assistant Referees (VARs) for the Organization".

Morecambe: Unpaid Players And Staff Visit Aptly Named Pub On Way To Leyton Orient Game (Photo)

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Mired in the middle of a protracted and increasingly exasperatingtakeover, Morecambe FC's players and staff have found themselvesworking unpaidon more than one occasion over the last few months.

And so, with the club's plight at the forefront, the Shrimpersentourage happened across an aptly named pub on the way to Tuesday night's League Two game against Leyton Orient and stopped outside for a pithy team photo.

Bayern Munich Captain Philipp Lahm Announces Plan To Retire At End Of The Season

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Bayern Munich captain Philipp Lahm has announced he is to retire at the culmination of the 2016/17 season.

The long-serving veteran made the call after making his 501st appearance for Bayern in Wednesday night's DFB Pokal win over Wolfsburg.

Withered and frail at the age of 33, Lahm has finally accepted that he's past it and just can't carry on any longer:

I can continue with my leadership style, giving my best every day, in every training, until the end of the season.

Flummoxed: Oscar Leaves Chinese Linesman In Heap On Ground With Silky Cruyff Turn (Video)

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Looks like Oscar is having a whale of a time out in China, with the diminutive Brazilian's fleet-footed trickery already laying waste to all who gaze upon it.

Indeed, as well as jinking past defenders, the Shanghai SIPG man also left a poor, flummoxed linesman with two sprained ankles during a recent game.

Bill Gates Was Offered Chance To Buy Liverpool, But Never Returned The Call

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It's been revealed that Bill Gates was once offered the optionto buyLiverpool FC but never responded to the proposal.

Court papers have shown that Gates, co-founder of Microsoft and noted gazillionaire, was approached by an intermediary on behalf offormer Reds owners George Gillett and Tom Hicks.

Dreaded Vote Of Confidence: Leicester Owners Declare ‘Unwavering Support’ For Claudio Ranieri In Fight Against Unprecedented Relegation

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Leicester City's owners have declared their "unwavering support" for Claudio Ranieri with the club in very real danger of making two very different types of history in consecutive Premier League seasons.

With the glorious title win of 2015/16 now consigned to history, the Foxes are currently teetering just one point above the relegation zone going into the last 14 games of the 2016/17 season.

Topless Pitch Invader Scores 93rd-Minute ‘Equaliser’ In Honduran League Match (Video)

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Sunday evening'sHonduran Liga Nacionalclash between Olimpia and Motagua ended amid baffling scenes when a pitch invader popped up to score an injury-time equaliser.

Trailing2-1 as the final whistle loomed, Olimpia were able to force adramatic equaliser in the 93rd minute but only as the encroaching (and shirtless) fan finished off his own flowing move past the Motagua 'keeper.

Shit Football Ink: Serie B Midfielder Amato Ciciretti Gets His Own Twitter Handle Tattooed On Leg (Photo)

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Photo: Gazzetta dello Sport

That man there, spread akimbo on the turf, is Amato Ciciretti once of Roma, now of Serie B side Benevento.

As of but a few days ago, Ciciretti is the proud owner of one of the absolute worst bits of body art we've ever had the misfortune of stumbling across.

Official: Cheick Tiote Leaves Newcastle To Join Beijing Enterprises Group FC (Photo)

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After months and months of negotiations, Cheick Tiote has finally brought his seven-year stint at Newcastle to an end and left forthe bright lights of China.

It was initially reported that Tiote was in talks to join former Toon teammate Papiss Cisse at Shandong Luneng, but today it's been announced the Ivorian has signed for Beijing Enterprises Group FC on a two-year deal.

Premier League: Everton Youngster Tom Davies Wins January PFA Player Of The Month Award (Photo)

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Yet more congratulations are in order for Tom Davies who, despite being five minutes into his senior career, has already been bestowed with a Premier League player of the month award.

Specifically, the 18-year-oldhas been crowned PFA Fans' Player of the Month for January after his breakthrough performance in Everton's 4-0 win over Man City a couple of weeks ago.

Reports: Southampton On Verge Of Signing Ex-Juventus Defender Martin Caceres To Ease Centre-Back Shortage

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Southampton are on the cusp of shoring up the signing ofMartin Caceres, after the former Barcelona and Juventus defender came through a medical today.

According to the Guardian, Caceres a free agent since leaving Juve last summer will reportedly sign for the Saints "in the next few days" pending the approval of a work permit.

La Liga: Man Utd Loanee Andreas Pereira Bags Beauty For Granada v Las Palmas (Video)

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Andreas Pereira showed parent club Manchester United just what a talent they have on their books on Monday night, with the Brazilian attacker volleying home a stunner during Granada's La Liga clash with Las Palmas.

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On 17 minutes, the 21-year-old Pereira picked up the ball outside the Las Palmas box before firing home a fabulous effort which rocketed into the back of the net.

The Yak Is Back: Coventry City Take Premier League Legend Yakubu On Trial

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The huge news emanating from League One today is that Coventry City have welcomed a bona fide Premier League legend into their fold.

Indeed, the Sky Blues have taken former Portsmouth, Middlesbrough, Blackburn and Everton hero Yakubu 'The Yak' Aiyegbeni on trial...

Yakubu is on trial at Coventry City.

Good Start: L’Equipe Award Memphis Depay Solid 2/10 Match Rating On Full Lyon Debut

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Memphis Depay made his full debut for Lyon in Sunday night's Rhone derby clash against Saint-Etienne.

After coming on for the last 30 minutes of last week's defeat against Marseille, Depay made his first start in what was to prove to be another disappointing night for OL.

Saint-Etienne ended up coasting to a 2-0 victory, with Depay lasting 65 minutes before being taken off and replaced for the remainder.

Supercopa Argentina: Man Of The Match Awarded Brand New BBQ Grill And Apron (Photo)

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Lanus beat River Plate 3-0 on Saturday evening to lift the Supercopa Argentina, the annual winner-takes-all game played between the winners of thePrimera Division and winners of the Copa Argentina.

Lautaro Acosta took the 'Man of the Match' honours after the Lanus forward opened the scoring in the 70th minute, hammering a low shot home from the edge of the box.

Football Songs: Arsenal Fan ‘Uncle Ed’ Rallies Against Arsene Wenger In Grime Form (Video)

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With the anti-Arsene Wenger sentiment coming to the boil again at Arsenal, one erudite fan has produced a grime track that encapsulates the grating frustration of having to watch the likes of Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil play football every week.

That man is Uncle Ed, who released'Wenger Out' in the aftermath of the home defeat against Watford last week.

What Robbie Keane Did Next: Irish Veteran Trains With Al-Ahli After Leaving LA Galaxy (Photos)

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Despite his advancing years (he's 36, you know!), it would appear that Robbie Keane isn't quite ready to call it a day.

The Republic of Ireland's all-time top scorer left LA Galaxy when his contract expired a couple of months ago and has since tendered offers from several prospective suitors, with Sunderland reportedly having a nibble a few weeks ago.

‘Our Colours Will Never Be Yours’ – Saint Etienne Fans Force January Signing Anthony Mounier Out Of Club After Just Four Days

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On 27th January, Anthony Mounier (above) signed for Saint-Etienne on loan for the remainder of the season.

By31st January, he was gone, gone, gone.

The reason? The French midfielder was hounded out of Saint-Etienne by fans after just four days on account of him once playing for bitter local rivals Lyon.

Serie A: Ex-Chelsea Winger Juan Cuadrado Nets Scorcher As Juventus Extend Home Winning Streak To 28 Games (Video)

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Juventus incredible winning streak on home soil increased to 28 games on Sunday night, with the Serie A leaders edging Inter Milan 1-0 in a heavyweight clash.

The only goal of the game came courtesy of Juan Cuadrado, with his first of the season, after the former Chelsea flop produced a magnificent thumping effort.

AFCON 2017: Arsenal’s Mohamed Elneny Scores Cracker But Egypt Lose Final To Cameroon (Video)

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Cameroon came from a goal down to secure the Africa Cup of Nations title, beating Egypt 2-1 in a tense final.

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Arsenal's Mohamed Elneny opened the scoring on 22 minutes, courtesy of a clever finish after a move involving former Chelsea winger Mohamed Salah.

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Egypt's strong defence was key in their journey to Sunday final.

Man Utd: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Becomes Oldest Player To Reach 15 Goals In Single Premier League Season (Video)

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By tucking awayManchester United's second goal against Leicester, Zlatan Ibrahimovic broke yet another goal-scoring record.

Indeed, at 35 years and 125 days old, the towering Swede is now the oldest player to score 15 goals in single Premier League season...

Past it? Never. Hopefully it won't go to his head.

Crystal Palace Fan Arrested After Confronting Damien Delaney During Eagles’ 4-0 Battering By Sunderland (Video)

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Crystal Palace suffered a humiliating defeat at Selhurst Park on Saturday, with fellow relegation-strugglers Sunderland registering a shock 4-0 win.

If the afternoon wasn't bad enough already for the south Londoners, defender Damien Delaney also found himself the target of an irate fan, who jumped over the hoardings and grabbedthe Irish international before being lead away by security.

Huddersfield Coach David Wagner Sent Off After Sprinting Length Of Pitch To Celebrate 89th-Minute Winner Against Leeds (Video)

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Huddersfield came out on top in a fractious Yorkshire derby on Sunday afternoon, pippingcross-county rivals Leeds by two goals to one.

Both sides hadtheir managers sent-off after David Wagner and Garry Monk clashed in the wake of Michael Hefele's late, late winning goal.

Indeed, no sooner had the German defender swept home than Wagner set off sprinting across the pitch to celebrate with his players.

Impressive Chelsea End Arsenal Title Hopes After Dominant Display At Stamford Bridge (Photos & Video)

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Arsenal's title hopes were all but ended at Stamford Bridge on Saturday, with league leaders Chelsea simply too good for Arsene Wenger's perennial also-rans.

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Short of midfield options, Wenger started with Alex Oxlade Chamberlain in tandem with Francis Coquelin, and the visitors started well.

A-League: Tim Cahill Shown Red Card Before Setting Foot On Pitch During Melbourne Derby (Video)

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The warm-up was about as close as Tim Cahill got to last night's A-League Melbourne derby after managing the impressive feat of getting himself sent-off before setting foot on the pitch.

About to enter the fray in the 87th minute with his Melbourne City side trailing 2-1 to bitter rivals Victory, Cahill gave the assistant referee anearful and promptly got himself red-carded before the substitution was made.

Classic Moments: John O’Shea Keeps Clean Sheet After Going In Goal For Manchester United, 2007 (Photo & Video)

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Dear fellows, would you believe that it's ten years to the very day that the very complexionof Association Football changed forever?

Indeed, at White Hart Lane on 4th February of 2007,we collectively witnessed a spectacular event that shifted the paradigmentirely.

We are of course talking about when Edwin van der Sar broke his nose and John O'Shea Slayer of Figo had to goin nets for Manchester United.

Everton: Ross Barkley Starts Celebrating Before Even Shooting In 6-3 Pummelling Of Bournemouth (Video)

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Bournemouth came a cropper against Everton today after finding themselves on the wrong end of a 6-3 thumping.

Romelu Lukaku helped himself to four goals (the first coming after just 30 seconds!) as the Toffees ran away with it.

However, there was a quirky little scene just before Ross Barkley grabbed the 94th-minute cake-icer.

‘Don’t Take Me Home’ – The Story Of Wales’ Giddy Run To Euro 2016 Semi-Finals Is Getting Big Screen Treatment

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As was surely inevitable at some stage, Wales' phantasmagorical waltz through to the semi-finals of Euro 2016 is getting the big screen treatment.

'Don't Take Me Home' named after *that* sodding chant will document the astoundingrun Chris Coleman's side enjoyed at the tournament in France: Gareth Bale, Hal Robson-Kanu, all that.

Egypt Players Belly Dance In Changing Room After Reaching AFCON 2017 Final (Video)

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It took a penalty shoot-out, but Egypt beat Burkina Faso in midweek to reach the final of AFCON 2017.

Veteran 44-year-old goalkeeper Essam El Hadary was the hero of the hour, saving Bertrand Traore's decisive spot-kick to secure a record ninth final berth forThe Pharaohs, whoare chasing a record eighth title win.

Stoke City: Mark Hughes All But Confirms Saido Berahino Served Eight-Week Drug Ban During Prolonged West Brom Hiatus

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Stoke City boss Mark Hughes has all-but confirmed that Saido Berahino served a drug ban during his prolonged period of inactivity at former club West Brom.

Matt Lawton in the Daily Mail had earlier broken the story that Berahino tested positive for a recreational substance after undergoing an "out-of-competition test in September.

‘You’ve Never Had To Work’ – Patrick Bamford Reveals He Was Teased By Burnley Boss Sean Dyche For Being Privately Educated

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It took him six years, but Patrick Bamford finally escaped the Chelsea loan farm earlier this month when he joined Middlesbrough on a permanent deal.

After enduringa transient (seven loan moves in six seasons) beginning tohis young career, the 23-year-old striker is now hoping to settle at the one club where he actually did himself justice back in 2014/15.

Bayer Leverkusen: Set-Piece Wizard Hakan Calhanoglu Banned For Four Months Over Contract Breach

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Bayer Leverkusen are going to have to do without the services of Hakan Calhanoglu for the rest of the season after the midfielder was handed a four-month ban for breaching his contract.

Specifically, Calhanoglu has beenpunished for breaching a contract he signed with Turkish side Trabzonspor when he was just 17-years old.

Nearly Men: Arsene Wenger Adds N’Golo Kante To Long List Of Players He Almost Signed For Arsenal

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Arsene Wenger has added a new name to the ever-lengthening list of players he's nearly signed for Arsenal over the years.

The player in question is N'Golo Kante, with Wenger revealing that he attempted to pilfer him from Leicester City after their title-winning season only to watch the French workhorse join Chelsea in a £32million deal.

Non League: Former Middlesbrough And Sunderland Schemer Julio Arca Rolls Back The Years With 40-Yard Wonder-Strike For South Shields (Video)

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Once he pulled the strings in midfield for both Sunderland and Middlesbrough. However, these days Argentinian midfielder Julio Arca lines out for non-league side South Shields.

In his side's recent FA Vase visit to Team Solent, the 36-year-old rolled back the years with a stunning long-range goal.

Bournemouth: Callum Wilson Ruled Out For Six Months After Pranging ACL For Second Successive Season

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Shite news for Bournemouth and even shiter news for Callum Wilson today after the striker was ruled out for the rest of the season with a "serious knee injury."

Wilson ruptured his ACLjust a few weeks into the 2015/16 season and spent the next eight months recovering before finally making it back out onto the pitch for the last month of the campaign.

Saluting The Departing Legend That Is Frank Lampard: His Greatest Hits

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He may be hanging up his boots a bona fide legend, but there was more to Frank Lampard than his oodles of goals and groaning trophy haul.

Here we look at his greatest achievementsoutside of his actual footballing CV...

1. His personal blog...

At the behest of sponsorsOrange, Lampard launched his very ownpersonal blog in the year of our Lord, 2007.

Africa Cup Of Nations Snapshot: DR Congo’s Team Photo Is A Thing Of True Beauty…

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Apologies for being slightly late on the uptake here, but we've only just discovered the majesty that is DR Congo's team photo.

The Leopards are already out of the Africa Cup of Nations after losing to Ghana in the quarters, but their fantastic pre-match 'conga' will live on in the footballing annals for eternity.

‘The Worst Advice I’ve Ever Received’ – Newcastle Fan Buys 56 Train Tickets To Cut Cost Of Journey To Oxford United (Photo)

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One thrifty Newcastle fan took evasive action in adesperate attempt to pare down the price of watching his side play Oxford United in the fourth round of the FA Cup.

Staring down the barrel of a 500-mile round rail trip, Johnny Haywood sought the council of a friend, who advised him to book the whole thing in 'split' tickets to save money.

Liverpool: Adam Lallana Reveals He Ate Like A Flipping Horse (Eight Meals In 24 Hours!) To Top Those ‘Distance Covered’ Charts

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Got a bloody stitch now, haven't you?

Over the turn of the New Year, Adam Lallana achieved the impressive feat of toppingthe Premier League stat chartfor 'distance covered during a match' not once, but twice in the space of just 44 hours.

Indeed, the Liverpool midfielder began by covering 12.

Chelsea Legend Frank Lampard Officially Retires From Football At Grand Old Age Of 38

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Frank Lampard has announced that, after 21 years at the coal face, he's officially bowing out from professional football at the grand old age of 38.

As is the fashion these days, the former West Ham, Chelsea, Man City, New York City and England midfieldermade his big announcement on Instagram:

After 21 incredible years, I have decided that now is the right time to finish my career as a professional footballer.

Pies Classics: Harry Redknapp Defends 17-Year-Old Frank Lampard From Snarky West Ham Fan (Video)

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With Frank Lampard annoucing his retirement today we thought we'd revisit a classic clip from the other end of his long and storied career.

Back in 1996, while schmoozing with fans at a conference,then-West Ham manager Harry Redknapp suddenly found himselfforced to defend the ruddy-cheeked 17-year-old sitting next to him.

‘If You Don’t Know Football, You Shouldn’t Have A Microphone In Your Hand’ – Jose Mourinho Storms Out Of Interview After Frustrating Draw With Hull (Video)

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Manchester United endured a difficult evening against Hull City on Wednesday night, with the Red Devils failing to break down Marco Silva's hardworking side.

After the game, a tetchy Jose Mourinho snapped at a BBC reporter before walking out of the interview.

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Despite creating a number of good chances, United couldn't find their way past an heroicEldin Jakupovic, much to the frustration of Mourinho.

Man Utd: Jakupovic Shines As Heroic Hull Thwart Red Devils At Old Trafford (Video)

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Hull City produced a superb display at Old Trafford on Wednesday night, holding Man Utd to a goalless draw.

Star of the show for the Tigers was goalkeeperEldin Jakupovic, who produced a number of superb saves.

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As expected, the hosts dominated possession, with both Zlatan Ibrahimobic and Paul Pogba thwarted superbly by Jakupovic in the first half.

Stoke City: Peter Crouch Scores 100th Premier League Goal, Dusts Off Old Classic To Celebrate (Photo & Video)

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Two days after his 36th birthday, Peter Crouch finally brought up his Premier League century with the opening goal in Stoke's midweek game with Everton.

With the game just seven minutes old, Crouch opened the scoring by sliding in to steer Marco Arnautovic's low cross past Joel Robles.

The wily old son of a gun then dusted off an old classic to celebrate, much to the delight of almost everybody inside the Bet 365 Stadium.

Real Madrid: Sergio Ramos Trades Shirt With Fan In Exchange For Tray Of Pork Covered In Lard (Photo & Video)

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One incredibly lucky Real Madrid fan left Sunday evening's win over Real Sociedad with Sergio Ramos' sweaty-infused shirt after making the centre-half an offer he couldn't possibly refuse.

The fan, seen above, held a banner aloft in the stands at the Bernabeu that read, "Sergio, if you give me your shirt, I'll give you a tray of lomo en manteca.

‘I’d Love To Go’ – Diego Maradona Formally Invited To Speak To Students At Harvard University (Photo)

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As unlikely at it may seem, it looks like Diego Maradona has been invited to speak at Harvard University.

The Argentinian dumpling shared a letter he received fromMariano Siskind, department chair and professor of 'romance languages and literature' at Harvard.

In the letter, Professor Siskind asks Maradona to lecture students at a class called 'The Global Game: Soccer, Politics and Popular Culture'.

Official: Chelsea Stalwart Branislav Ivanovic Moves On To Zenit After Nine Years At The Bridge (Photo)

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As George Harrison once famouslypostulated, all things must pass and, alas, it would appearthat his fatalistic dictum even extends to Branislav Ivanovic.

After nine years and nine trophies at Chelsea, the 32-year-old Serbian stalwart is moving on specifically to Zenit St. Petersburg.

Indeed, after posting a photo of him wearingZenit togsyesterday, the Russian side have nowconfirmed Ivanovic has signed for them on a two-and-a-half year deal.

Diego Costa Misses Penalty But Chelsea Extend Lead At Top After 1-1 Draw With Liverpool (Video)

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Chelsea extended their lead at the top of the Premier League on Tuesday night, after the Blues played out a 1-1 draw at Anfieldwith Liverpool.

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Brazilian defender David Luiz opened the scoring on 24 minutes, courtesy of a fabulous 25-yard free-kick which totally caught out Simon Mignolet in the Liverpool goal.

Groundhog Day For Gunners: Arsenal Suffer Serious Title Blow As Watford Win 2-1 At Emirates (Photos & Highlights)

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Arsenal's title challenge suffered a serious yet oh-so-predictable blow on Tuesday night, with the Gunners losing 2-1 at home to Watford.

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After resting most of his big names for the weekend FA Cup rout of Southampton, Arsene Wenger recalled his first-choice players ahead of a game the north Londoners were expected to win at a canter.

Up On The Deal: Premier League Clubs End Transfer Window In Collective Profit For First Time Ever

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Photo: @Mgabbia23/Twitter

A relatively dullmonth of tradingensured that the Premier League ended a transfer window in profit for the first time ever.

According to Deloitte, the Premier League clubs combined spent a six-year high of £215million in January 2017.

On deadline day, the big money was spent on Manolo Gabbiadini (who joined Southampton from Napoli in a £14million deal) and Robbie Brady (Norwich to Burnley for £13million).

Bushwatch: Meet Reading Fan Jacob South Klein, The Man Who Spends Every Deadline Day Hiding In Bushes Outside The Madejski Stadium!

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Photo: Get Reading

Amidst all the deal-making and the rumour-churning, a new hero emerged on transfer deadline day, and his name was (and still is) Jacob South Klein.

That's him up there, in the little brown cowboy hat.

For the past few years, Reading fan Klein has spent deadline day lurking in the bushes outside Madejski Stadium and updating fellow supporterson the various comings and goings.

Muckers: Brilliant Image Surfaces Of Burnley Teammates Robbie Brady And Jeff Hendrick Together At Boyhood Club (Photo)

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Over the course of the season so far, Burnley's dabbling in the transfer market has finally brought togethertwo of football's oldest muckers reunited at Turf Moor.

Indeed, Burnleybroke their transfer record to bring in Robbie Brady on deadline day, thus reunitingthe Irish midfielder with boyhood teammate Jeff Hendrick.