Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2007

Kilmarnock's Alan Combe has a nightmare / Aberdeen's Darren Mackie has eyes in the back of his head

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Kilmarnock goalkeeper Alan Combe managed this superb assist for Aberdeen at the weekend. He propelled his throw into the head of Aberdeen's Darren Mackie, and could only stand and watch as the ball bounced back into the net. Mackie was only too happy to claim his goal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S9CfdkMFR8&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Etheoffside%2Ecom%2F [Via The Offside]

England to host 2010 World Cup?

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England could be in line to host the World Cup in 2010 if South Africa cannot get the necessary infrastructure ready in time. FIFA president Sepp Blagger erm... Blatter has confirmed that England are being considered as potential replacements along with the United States, Mexico, Japan and Spain. He did point out though that such contingency plans were made for every tournament.

Fabien Barthez attacked... we've all been tempted!

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Former France and Manchester United goalkeeper Fabien Barthez has quit Nantes after being attacked by a fan while driving away from the ground at the weekend. Barthez's car was kicked as he left the stadium following a 0-2 defeat to Rennes. When one fan attempted to open the car door, Barthez got out to confront the fan and was involved in a tussle.

Bolton News Balls Special: Did Big Sam Allardyce quit Bolton to go to Man City?

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From Big Sam to Little Sam in one complicated move… The Big Sam Timeline: Big Sam quits, with chairman Phil Gartside citing 'personal reasons' for his manager's shock departure. Little Sammy Lee is appointed the new Bolton boss. Unfounded rumours that Sam actually left Bolton so he could manage Man City displease Gartside, who would be 'none too pleased' to see Allardyce take over from Stuart Pearce.

Top five Premiership goals of the weekend (with video goodness)

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1 Dimitar Berbatov, Middlesbrough v Spurs As Alan Hansen would say, that is fantastic technique. If Dimi carries on like this, Spurs will really struggle to keep him in the summer. Chelsea and Man Utd will surely be keen to track down his agent's mobile number. Apologies for crappy video quality, btw. 2 Manuel Fernandes, Everton v Man Utd As Andy Gray would say – and he does - what a hit!

PSV win Dutch title on goal difference, Ajax and AZ miss out

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We don't cover Dutch football very often, but the climax to this season's Eredivisie title race was so remarkable that we'd be remiss not to mention it. AZ Alkmaar, Ajax and PSV entered Sunday level on 72 points each at the top of the table. AZ had a superior goal difference and needed just three points against the not-very-good Excelsior to walk away as champions.

THE VOTE Which two Premiership clubs will be relegated with Watford?

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Here's how Pies sees the Premiership relegation battle panning out. Charlton fans, look away now… CHARLTON ATHLETIC: Currently in 19th place on 33 points with a -24 goal difference. Remaining fixtures: Tottenham (h), Liverpool (a) The Addicks are screwed. Spurs and Liverpool is one tough run-in. I can only see them getting three points at most from those two games (a home win against Spurs is entirely possible), which still won't be enough to stay up.

Shit lookalikes: Roy Keane and 300's King Leonidas

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Props to Pies reader Patrick for spotting that Roy Keane-plus-beard is a modern-day King Leonidas (leader of the frankly suicidal Spartans). I can imagine Roy's half-time team talks in a totally different light now: 'Mackems! Tonight we dine in hell!' (Middlesbrough isn't that much of a shithole, but I take Keano's point.)

Schadenfreude double bill: Leeds United and Dennis Wise go down together

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Come on, admit it – you wanted Leeds to go down all along, and the fact that Dennis Wise is involved is a heart-warming bonus. Because who really loves Leeds United outside of Leeds? They have some of the most horrible fans in England (a minority, admittedly) and forever hark back to the hateful Revie era, when they had one of the most horrible teams in England.

The Championship relegation rites: Hull survive (just); Southend, Leeds and Luton go down

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This video shows nicely how the Championship relegation spots were sorted out… If you're an Ipswich fan, get yourself to Hull now to collect your free round of drinks.

The Daily Snapshot

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Arsenal Ladies' Irish contingent, Ciara Grant, Emma Byrne and Yvonne Tracy (l to r), celebrate after the Gunners defeated Swedish champions Umea IK over two legs to win the Women's UEFA Cup Final. The second leg was held at Meadow Park, home to Borehamwood FC. The match finished 0-0; Arsenal had won the first leg 1-0. [Photo: Ian Walton/Getty Images]

Hundreds of Leeds fans invade pitch

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The FA is to launch an investigation into the disgraceful scenes at the end of Leeds United's match at home to Ipswich on Saturday. A late equaliser for the Tractor Boys left Leeds all but mathematically relegated sparking a pitch invasion involving several hundred fans. This mobile phone footage captures the incident, which delayed the remainder of the game for half an hour.

THE VOTE What is the main reason for Sunderland's promotion?

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Sunderland and Birmingham have secured Premiership football for next season after clinching the automatic promotion places in the Championship. Both sides have returned to top-flight football at the first time of asking after being relegated last season. But what is the reason for Sunderland's success after a disastrous start to the season? Have your say below.

Accrington Stanley's chairman is Brian Potter

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Sweet baby Jesus of Nazareth! Accrington Stanley secured League Two status with a thrilling 3-2 win against Paul Ince's Macclesfield (who are in danger themselves of dropping out of the league) at the weekend. Most English football fans have a soft spot for Accrington, a traditional club whose name reeks of muddied nostalgia and half-time pies.

Roy Keane vs Jose Mourinho? I can't wait…

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Jose Mourinho's Chelsea still have three big trophies to play for this season but I already have half an eye on next season, when Jose will come up against Roy Keane. Oh. My. God. I can't wait to see what happens when the two most charismatic managers in the world clash. Mourinho's mind games simply won't work on Keane. Sunderland's boss is a man who spent most of his playing career observing first-hand the managerial genius of Brian Clough and Alex Ferguson - he knows every trick in the book, not to mention the advantage he has over Mourinho that he has done it as a player at the very highest level.

The Daily Snapshot

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A tattooed Karlsruhe fan sits on the fence during this weekend's Bundesliga 2 match between Karlsruher SC and Spvgg Unterhaching. [Photo: Getty Images]

The Daily Snapshot

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Sunderland's Carlos Edwards is fouled by Burnley goalkeeper Brian Jensen during last night's Championship match at The Stadium of Light. The resulting penalty was scored by David Connolly. Sunderland won 3-2 to go top of the league, two points ahead of Birmingham; if Roy Keane's team defeats Luton next weekend, they will be promoted to the Premiership.

Gareth Southgate 'too honest', needs to become as 'shitty' as other managers

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Middlesbrough chief executive Keith Lamb has implored Gareth Southgate to toughen up, saying that the young Boro boss will only improve 'when he gets rid of the naivety, the honesty and integrity and he becomes as shitty as all the rest'. Perhaps if Master Southgate stopped dressing like a sixth-form prefect, that would be a start. Seriously though, I like Southgate – he's done a half-decent job this season – and hope he doesn't take Lamb's tongue-in-cheek advice to heart.

Fanbanta, a new kind of football website

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We love our football here and if there's a new place we can visit to feed our hunger for football-shaped stuff, we'll go there. Well, we've come across something that might interest you… We've spoken to a couple of guys down our local – one a Gooner and the other a beleaguered Leeds fan - and apparently they're setting up a new website called Fanbanta.

Fantasy Friday: week 34 review

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This week the Premier League bid farewell to plucky Watford. The Pies Fantasy League has been saying a long goodbye to Abney Park Rangers since before Christmas! Meanwhile, it's hotting up at the top of the table. Tommy's Where Was Dean Ashton? remain favourites but there are five teams in with a shout. Click below to see the latest league table.

MLS review: video of all the goals from week three

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Good wins for CD Chivas, Chicago Fire, FC Dallas and in-form Red Bull New York, who are unbeaten after four games. [Via Climbing the Ladder]

It's just not cricket t-shirt

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Football – it's just not cricket and thank God for that. Even the powers that be claim that the Cricket World Cup has gone on way too long. If cricket was a half-decent game in the first place, like football for example, this wouldn't happen. This t-shirt, brought to you by Crease Clothing, makes the statement that football is not cricket, as if footy is a bad thing.

Cheryl Tweedy fancies Jose Mourinho

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Um, this is plain wrong. Cheryl Tweedy, good wife of Cashley Cole, has admitted she has a soft spot for Jose Mourinho, Cashley's boss. It's a sugar daddy thing, clearly: 'He's definitely got something about him,' Cheryl swooned. 'He has a presence and a lot of charisma and I think everybody loves a little bit of bad-boy arrogance… He's stylish and a little bit older, so yes, I've got a twinkle in my eye for him.

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1 Luton Town, Arsenal, West Ham, Wimbledon, Coventry, Celtic, West Brom (current). Whose career? 2 Which Scottish team does comedian Billy Connolly support? 3 Picture round. Who's wearing shoulder pads? 4 Which football team plays at Rugby Park? 5 Who currently wears the unlucky No.13 shirt for Man Utd? 6 The club crest challenge: Answers after the click… The answers… 1 John Hartson 2 Celtic 3 Massimo Oddo, Italian defender 4 Kilmarnock 5 Park Ji-Sung 6 Red Star Belgrade Any six pointers out there?

Pies vs Lawro, Premiership predictions

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SATURDAY Chelsea v Bolton Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-0 Everton v Man Utd Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 0-1 Blackburn v Charlton Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-0 Man City v Aston Villa Lawro: 1-2 Pies: 1-1 Middlesbrough v Tottenham Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 1-2 Portsmouth v Liverpool Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 0-0 Sheffield Utd v Watford Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-1 Wigan v West Ham Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-2 Arsenal v Fulham Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 2-1 Reading v Newcastle Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-1 Bring the ruckus…

News Balls: Thierry Henry happy to stay at Arsenal if Arsene Wenger stays too

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Thierry Henry says he'll stay at Arsenal if Arsene Wenger stays too. Good to see a bit of loyalty in football these days. [BBC] Jose Mourinho accuse Cristiano Ronaldo of something underhand… I couldn't care what – it's virtually impossible to keep up with the volume of nonsense that Jose is coming out with right now… [Guardian] Jermain Defoe unsettled at Spurs?

HolloWatch, evolution special: 'Human beings will end up with thumbs like giant crabs'

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Ian Holloway is on top form in his BBC column this week, reminiscing about the time he played with the late, great Alan Ball and slagging off the poker-playing skills of his Plymouth Argyle players. However, Ollie peaked when he started rambling about how human beings are losing the art of conversation: 'I think us human beings will end up with thumbs like giant crabs pretty soon because of all the texting that goes on and the playing of these stupid computer games, and we'll have lost the art of talking.

THE VOTE Jose Baptista or Jose Reyes?

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Jose Antonio Reyes, currently on loan from Arsenal to Real Madrid, recently said he 'wouldn't like to go back to London'. Reyes started quite strongly at Madrid, but he's gone rapidly downhill since his first few matches (sound familiar?) and is now out of favour with coach Fabio Capello. Gooners, would you take Reyes back after he limped away from Highbury like a little homesick girl?

Horror Hair: David Beckham... again!

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After yesterday's tribute to Horror Hair legend David James, it seems fitting that today another maestro of bad barnets should reveal his latest masterpiece. David Beckham has gone platinum blond in his latest fit of boredom earning him the nickname Marilyn (as in Monroe) from Real Madrid team-mates. The new look puts me more in mind of Erasure singer Andy Bell!

Ponce fined for hugging David Beckham

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It's not National David Beckham Day, although I am sure he will be disappointed to hear it, but there is a fair bit of Becks news today. Aside from his new hair, a 17-year-old Beckham fan has been fined £2,000 for running onto the pitch at the Bernabeu Stadium to give the Real Madrid star a cuddle. The youngster, who to the joy of headline writers everywhere happens to be called Alex Ponce, was also banned from attending sporting events for six months.

Uefa Cup semi-final review

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Following the Anglo-tastic start to European football this week with the Champions League semi-finals, the Uefa Cup semi-final first legs were a much more Spanish affair. Favourites and holders Sevilla lost 1-0 at Osasuna. The only goal of the game was scored by Roberto Soldado, who was still muttering under his breath about the booking he had just picked up as he headed the ball home.

Arsenal Mastermind

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I'm a heterosexual guy but Cesc Fabregas is cuter than a basket full of baby squirrels. And Jens Lehmann knows f-all about squad shirt numbers… anyway, click on to see who is the Arsenal Mastermind champions [spotted on Guardian Unlimited]

The Frank Lampard, Carlo Cudicini & John Terry love triangle

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This video of the Chelsea squad being asked to name their best looking team-mate will make you cringe more than a Ricky Gervais sitcom. There is awkward silences, bewildered looks and shoe-gazing aplenty, except from Frank Lampard who seems pretty certain that he wouldn't mind a piece of Carlo Cudicini! In fact the reserve keeper does seem to be the popular choice.

Top five bets for the weekend

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DARIUS VASSELL TO SCORE FIRST FOR MAN CITY AGAINST ASTON VILLA (15-2) The Man City striker has some interesting stats against his former club that may be worth following. He has scored the first goal in three of the fives matches he has faced them (including last two) and has a total of five in five. Playing at home, this is a fair price.

The Daily Snapshot

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Liverpool's U18 players celebrate beating arch rivals Man Utd on penalties to win the FA Youth Cup, held at Old Trafford yesterday. [Photo: Matthew Lewis/Getty Images]

Shit lookalikes: David James vs James Harries

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Whilst reading Rob's splendid David James hair post, I was struck by the similarity between Jamo and James Harries, the mildly sinister antiques dealer/child prodigy who had 15 minutes of fame after appearing on Wogan in 1988, and has since changed gender to become Lauren Harries. Have they ever been seen together on the pitch at the same time?

Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield mock Jose Mourinho

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Poor Jose's coming in for a fair bit of stick at the moment, but if you give it out you've got to be able to take it back. Here is comedian Paul Whitehouse playing Jose Arrogantio in his and Harry Enfield's new sketchshow Ruddy Hell! It's Harry And Paul. [Via 101Greatgoals]

Horror Hair: Top 10 David James disasters

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In the week that Portsmouth keeper David James broke the record for the most number of Premiership clean sheets, Pies acknowledges one man's outstanding contribution to the art of Horror Hair. 1 The Fun Boy Three Despite this picture, Pies can confirm that James in fact spent the late 1980s and early 1990s as a Watford player and not as a member of Fun Boy Three.

Follow the David Beckham Trail on a tour of the East End

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The council for the area David Beckham grew up in has a tourist route to show visitors various Beckham-related 'landmarks'. Waltham Forest Council created the David Beckham Trail, which takes in sites as impressive as the hospital in which Becks was born, his old schools and Walthamstow greyhound stadium where the young Beckham worked as a glass collector.

Movement! Some footballers staying put, others on the move!

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A few transfer bits and bobs doing the rounds today… Crazy Jens Lehmann agrees one-year contract extension with Arsenal. Arsene Wenger is also keen on Scotland stopper Craig Gordon. [F365] William 'Mr Loyalty' Gallas, who has never really settled at Arsenal, is on his way to Real Madrid this summer. Gooners won't miss him much, I'm sure. [Guardian] Jurgen Klinsmann definitely not coming to Chelsea.

Arsene Wenger: Alex Ferguson is my manager of the year

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Yes, you did read that right and it's not something I thought I'd ever write. Arsene Wenger thinks his arch rival Alex Ferguson should be manager of the year: 'I feel this year Sir Alex Ferguson, because he's in a position to fight on every front,' Wenger told www.leaguemanagers.com. '…And Steve Coppell, who is in a position where nobody expected him to be and he has a team who do not play negatively - they have a positive attitude everywhere they go.

Middlesbrough sign Jonathan Woodgate from Real Madrid... again!

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Middlesbrough have completed the signing of erm... Middlesbrough defender Jonathan Woodgate. I'm pretty sure this about the fourth or fifth time they have wrapped up the transfer of Teeside's favourite Jesus lookalike. Anyway, this time they really mean it and have paid Real Madrid £7 million for the 27-year-old. The relatively injury-free centre-back said: "I made my mind up about three months ago, to be honest, but we could not really say anything.

The Daily Snapshot

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Tributes and flowers for the late Alan Ball, left by Everton fans outside Goodison Park. [Photo: Getty Images]

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: The manager

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Give yourself a big pat on the back. After an intense period of voting, you've chosen your Premiership team of the season: Goalkeeper: Petr Cech (Chelsea) Right-back: Steve Finnan (Liverpool) Left-back: Patrice Evra (Man Utd) Centre-backs: Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd), Joleon Lescott (Everton) Central midfield: Michael Essien (Chelsea), Tom Huddlestone (Spurs) Wide midfield: Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) Forwards: Didier Drogba (Chelsea), Dimitar Berbatov (Spurs) Now you need someone to manage the team.

Dunfermline's Jim McIntrye has balls of steel

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North of the border, Dunfermline beat Hibs 1-0 to reach the Scottish Cup final, thanks to this ballsy penalty by Jim McIntyre. It takes real cojones to do this, although McIntyre has since said it's the last time he takes a pen in this way. 'I'll not be doing it again that's for sure,' he said. 'I could have had egg on my face, but it took a bit of balls to do something like that.

Jose Mourinho booed as he attends WWE wrestling with his children

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As he promised before the Champions League quarter-final second leg against Valencia, Jose Mourinho spent Tuesday night at the WWE wrestling event at Earls Court with his kid. And as Pies pointed out at the time, contrary to his pre-match mind games, he was also able to attend last night's Champions League semi-final with Liverpool. Mourinho secured front-row seats (you would expect nothing less from the Special One) and even got a namecheck at one point.

Predict the Champions League final…

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With one leg down, we have two beautifully poised Champions League semi finals. Man Utd have the slight edge against Milan, in as much as they're leading the tie, but Milan have two precious away goals and so a 1-0 win at the San Siro is all they need – Milan will keep things tight in the first half and hope to grab a goal in the second, I imagine.

WAG of the week: Charlotte Mears

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Name Charlotte Mears Nationality Essex WAG of… Tottenham and England striker Jermain Defoe. They have been dating for more than a year and live together in Essex. Fame ranking 3/10 Has gained some C-list celebrity status through WAGs Boutique, but then not many people watch that.

Champions League review: Chelsea 1-0 Liverpool

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A predictably defensive affair with lots of long balls, lots of falling over by Didier Drogba and the odd chant of 'Fuck off Mourinho!' by Liverpool fans. Liverpool were strangely muted – Steven Gerrard lacked his usual spark and Xabi Alonso had a shocker – and without an away goal to take back to Anfield I strongly fancy Chelsea to reach the final.

THE VOTE Who would win in a fight between Ryan Giggs and Kaka?

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Ryan Giggs and Kaka: hardly two of football's well-known hardmen, but they both got a bit hot under the collar last night. The normally silky-skilled dribblers instead played handbags last night in a fit of slapping and card-waving. But the question is, who would win in a no holds barred scap between the pair? MySpace Poll - Take Our Poll [Photo: Getty Images]

Diego's wonder goal for Werder Bremen vs Aachen

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Nothing like a bit of pumping Euro-trance to spice up a goal, although in this case the goal needs no embellishment. Great vision by Diego, even if the goalie was nowhere to be seen – hoof, off the crossbar and in! Reminds us a wee bit of David Beckham's famous strike against Wimbledon

Sexy World Cup 2006, part six: Italy

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Ah, Italia - winners on the pitch in 2006 and, judging by the quality of their womenfolk, winners off the pitch too. Previously on Sexy World Cup 2006: England, Brazil, Germany, Sweden, Argentina

Snapshot of the day

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The great Johan Cruyff, who celebrates his 60th birthday today, feels the heat of a challenge by West Germany's Uli Hoeness during the 1974 World Cup final. [Photo: Getty Images]

Classic Moments: Man Utd 3-5 West Brom, 1978

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'The booing of the black players… paid off there…' Don't think that's quite what the commentator meant, but I take his point. And I miss the days when they used to put a big R in the top corner to denote a replay. Anyway, this is one of the greatest moments in West Brom history, back in the days when they had one of the best attacking teams in the land.

Che Mourinho t-shirt from TShirts365.com

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Jose Mourinho has once again been showing off his revolutionary approach to pre-match press conferences, so it is probably as good a time as any to invest in this Che Guevera-style t-shirt. In his latest outing, the Special One managed to pre-emptively accuse Liverpool of trying to get Didier Drogba booked, complain about Chelsea's fixture schedule and make the Reds favourites for the tie!

World Cup winner Alan Ball dies of heart attack

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Alan Ball, the youngest member of England's 1966 World Cup-winning team, has died of a heart attack aged 61. The former Blackpool, Everton, Arsenal and Southampton midfielder won 72 caps for hs country. Ball also took charge of seven clubs in a managerial career spanning almost 20 years. His most recent post was as Portsmouth manager until 1999.

American football player demolishes four-year-old

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I hesitate to put this in the 'funny old game' category, but it is funny so there – and the kid's okay now, as long as you don't count 30 stitches in the head (we don't) and a lifelong fear of men in uniform. Proper football needs more of these mismatches. Let's have John Terry kicking seven shades of shit out of the opposition's seven-year-old mascot… [Via With Leather] And yes, in case you were wondering, it is sensible to let little kids play on the sidelines at a American football match… (rolls eyes)

Champions League semi final review: Manchester United 3-2 AC Milan

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Kaka outclassed Ronaldo in the 'best player in the world' showdown but Wayne Rooney saved the day for Man Utd with two second-half goals, including a lovely finish in added time. United now have a slight edge but if they lose 1-0 in the San Siro then the Italians go through, so the tie is very much in the balance (60-40 in favour of United I'd say).

Mr T joins the fight against diving

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The Italian FA seems to be finally taking diving seriously, and now the A-Team is clamping down on cheats too! In this Snickers advert, Mr T takes an all action approach to stop one Sunday League diver. I pity the fool who simulates! I do, I do! [Rob Parker]

Real women don't date Chelsea fans

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If there are any real women out there, can they confirm or deny this statement? You can buy this - and a few other designs - from MatchFitCouture for £19.99.

Man Utd 3-2 AC Milan: post-match reaction

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Man Utd reaction: 'Wayne's goal puts us in a fantastic position. I think that with the speed of our team we will score over there, but I don't know whether that will be enough.' Alex Ferguson is still wary of Milan 'I see him do it every day in training. He's brilliant. He is a joy to play with, a genius.' Wayne Rooney pays tribute to Paul Scholes 'We are not getting carried away but we know we're good enough to go away from home and win.

Five reasons why Clive Tyldesley is probably the world's most annoying commentator

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1 He is biased in Manchester United's favour to the point that he would probably no longer be allowed to commentate on the BBC even if he was good enough (and it's a big if). During his four years at the Beeb in the early 1990s he was assigned to a grand total of four live matches! 2 He has an annoying, nasal voice which makes you wonder who encouraged him to talk in public, never mind commentate on TV.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: Strikers

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Yesterday you voted for Cristiano Ronaldo (obviously) and Steven Gerrard to play in wide midfield for your Premiership team of the season. They join Petr Cech, Steve Finnan, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Joleon Lescott, Michael Essien and Tom Huddlestone. That leaves just two positions to fill: the strikers. Which two forwards have impressed you most this season?

Snapshot of the day

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Chelsea trio Shaun Wright-Phillips, Carlo Cudicini and Jon-Obi Mikel (l to r) muck about during training before tomorrow's Champions League tie against Liverpool. [Photo: Getty Images]

Zlatan Ibrahimoivic stares out Ronaldo (Inter v Milan)

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I've seen this vid posted on a few blogs (including The Offside), but it's too funny not to share. Either Zlatan is mesmerised by Ronaldo's lovely teeth, or he's trying to catch his eye and stare him out. Given how damn cocky Zlatan is, I guess it's the latter.

Shit lookalike deathmatch: Frank Lampard

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Simple really - who's the worst Lamps lookalike (Justin Eason on the left, in Chelsea shirt; Eric Yabsley on right, in England shirt)? Yes, we know they're both really shit. MySpace Poll - Take Our Poll

Rio Ferdinand meets P Diddy

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Fresh from the upper echelons of our top 10 vain footballers list, here is Rio Ferdinand partaking in a spot of shameless self-promotion and ego-boosting. Rio met rapper/producer P Diddy as part of Myspace's The Hook Up. As you will see from Rio's Myspace page, Diddy is now his number one friend. On the other hand, Rio doesn't feature at all on Diddy's top friends.

Kit Parade: AC Milan away

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We all know kit manufacturers love nothing better than to recycle a design, swap the colours a bit and flog it to millions more fans. AC Milan's away kit does bear a striking resemblance to the Germany national shirt and Real Madrid home shirt. The shirt will be on display at Old Trafford this evening when the Italian side take on Manchester United in the Champions League semi-final first leg (KO 7.

The Tuesday 10: most vain Premiership players

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1 Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) He's so vain, I bet he thinks this post is about him… yep, Master Ronaldo is the winner by some distance. Everything he does screams 'Everyone look at me!' When Patrice Evra revealed that Ron's nickname at Man U is 'Playboy' and that the Portuguese poser has his own personal mirror in the Old Trafford dressing room, was anyone really surprised?

Fernando Torres has 'You'll Never Walk Alone' inscribed on the inside of his captain's armband

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Atletico Madrid captain Fernando Torres, reportedly a summer transfer target for Man Utd, wears an armband with 'You'll Never Walk Alone' inscribed on the inside – the armband came loose during Atletico's 2-0 defeat away to Real Sociedad at the weekend. The Sun has put two and two together and decided that this obviously is a 'come and get me!

Is Jerzy Dudek right to call himself 'a slave'?

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Jerzy Dudek, Liverpool's reserve goalkeeper, was quoted in The Sun today as saying he planned to quit Liverpool as he is pissed off being treated like 'a slave'. The Polish keeper was reported to have said: 'I have to finally tell Rafa I'm leaving because maybe he's not aware of it… I will remember Liverpool fondly as a success but not the situation I've found myself in… When a player knows he is a slave, he'll never give his employer his heart.

COMPETITION! Design your own retro football t-shirt

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Pies has teamed up with the excellent folk at Retro Football T-Shirts to create a competition that will bring out the Tony Hart in all of you. We're asking you to design your own retro football t-shirt. The best design will then win a 100% unique t-shirt with your own creation printed on the front of it. Cool, huh! Check out their website (link above) to see the sort of t-shirts they sell, then come up with your own design.

Ronaldo on The Simpsons

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In which Homer barfs into a traffic cone and Lisa learns the art of diving (or 'flopping'). Then some toothy Brazilian dude turns up… [via The Offside]
The.Simpsons.S18E17.PDTV.XviD-LOL- Part2
Uploaded by SaveMeeJeebus

Michael Essien arrested for drink-driving

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Michael Essien was arrested for drink-driving as he left a nightclub at 5am yesterday. The Chelsea midfielder/defender/goalie/physio etc. was driving his black Range Rover when he was stopped by police. Essien was breathalysed on the spot and nicked when the result proved positive. He was held for several hours then freed on bail at 10am. He must report back to police in July.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: Wide midfield

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Yesterday you selected Michael Essien and Tom 'The Bunker' Huddlestone to slot into the central midfield of your team of the season. I suspect there may have been some double votes for The Bunker, but he got so many that I have to let him in. And that's no bad thing - he is, after all, a talented young English midfielder with great vision and a fierce shot.

Brazilian player booked for kissing the referee

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A Brazilian footballer was booked last weekend for kissing the referee. Cabofriense defender Cleberson received a yellow card for getting too friendly with Ubiraci Damasio. Cleberson gave the official a peck after a foul was given against him. As he brandished the card the ref is thought to have said: "You can't kiss me." The incident is 2min 5secs into the video below.

Jose Mourinho flouted touchline ban by escaping from changing room in laundry basket

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Daniel Craig might be the current incumbent, but next time the hunt is on for a new James Bond Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho might just be in the frame. Details have emerged today of the Special One's daring escape from Stamford Bridge as he defied a Uefa touchline ban. Mourinho is alleged to have escaped from the dressing room in a laundry basket after giving an illicit half-time team-talk.

Rafa Benitez and his magic, self-captioning hands

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Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez demonstrates his unique method of introducing himself! [Rob Parker]

Manchester United physio room XI

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The busiest man in football at the moment is Manchester United physio Rob Swire. The Red Devils barely have enough first-teamers available to put a side out as the injury curse that afflicted Chelsea earlier in the season seems to have moved north. So we thought we would help Fergie by compiling a physio room XI for him. Click below to see the line-up.

Pies vs Lawro, Premiership predictions. Have you won a retro t-shirt?

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Did your crystall ball-gazing earn you a retro footy t-shirt this week? Did Pies manage to outpredict Lawro for once? Let's find out… SATURDAY Tottenham v Arsenal Lawro: 2-2 Pies: 2-1 Actual: 2-2 (damn you Lawrenson) Bolton v Reading Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 3-2 Actual: 1-3 Charlton v Sheffield Utd Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 1-1 Fulham v Blackburn Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-0 Actual: 1-1 Liverpool v Wigan Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 3-0 Actual: 2-0 Watford v Man City Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 1-0 Actual: 1-1 West Ham v Everton Lawro: 1-2 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 1-0 Man Utd v Middlesbrough Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 2-1 Actual: 1-1 SUNDAY Newcastle v Chelsea Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 0-0 Aston Villa v Portsmouth Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 4-2 Actual: 0-0 THE RESULT: Nine points (three correct scorelines) to Lawro, and a meagre five points for Pies.

Espanyol v Real Betis red card-fest

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There were no fewer than four red cards in the La Liga fixture between Espanyol and Real Betis last weekend. Betis finished the game with eight men after having Pedro Contreras, Miguel Angel and Edu sent-off in the space of a minute. Goalkeeper Contreras was dismissed for a foul while his team-mates soon followed for their over-exuberant protests.

Let's all laugh at Michael Carrick and Wayne Rooney

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Can you name the only two Man Utd first-team players not to make the PFA's team of the season (Louis Saha doesn't count, cause he's been injured for much of 2007)? Stand up Michael Carrick and Wayne Rooney. I bet they get some stick from their award-winning team-mates in training. Losers.

THE VOTE Are refs scared to award penalties to visiting teams at Old Trafford? Or does Jose Mourinho need big glasses?

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No doubt you had a big chuckle at Jose Mourinho's rant re: penalties this weekend: 'It was a penalty at Old Trafford. It was a penalty to us. We are talking about points,' said the Special One. 'It is not a conspiracy, it is fact. I speak facts. If not, I need big glasses [see badly Photoshopped pic for artist's impression]… If you tell me it was not a penalty for Sheffield United, or a penalty for Middlesbrough, or for us against Newcastle.

Argentine soccer babe fashion shoot. What more do you need to know?

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A little treat, via Fashion TV (essential late-night viewing), for lovers of football and scantily clad supermodels (ie. most of us). If your boss is a square, then you may not want to open this up at work. Otherwise, click away… [More babes on Pies]

Inter romp to Serie A title

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Celtic wrapped up the SPL on Sunday but they weren't the only team in Europe to win a league title at the weekend. Inter won their second Serie A title in a row (and 15th overall), thanks to a 2-1 at Siena (both goals scored by panto villain Marco Materazzi). Second-place Roma lost at Atalanta, gifting the title to Milan's blue-and-black half.

Top five Premiership goals of the weekend. Well, the top two anyway…

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Put simply, it was a shit weekend for goals in the Premiership, so I won't post the top five. There were just two half-decent goals scored, both of which you can watch below… 1 Jermaine Jenas, Spurs v Arsenal A sweet strike in added time to secure an undeserved draw for Spurs.
90th [2-2] Jenas Goal
Uploaded by ArsenalFootballClub 2 Bobby Zamora, West Ham v Everton Lovely backheel by Benayoun and a cracking left-footed finish by Zamora to keep the Irons in with a shout of staying up.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: Central midfield

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Jamie Carragher just missed out on a place in your team of the season. In central defence you chose Nemanja Vidic and Joleon Lescott, two of Pies' favourite Bond villains. Carra is unlucky to miss out, but Lescott is a fine choice – he has fitted in very well at Goodison. Vidic has been immense this season and few would dispute his selection.

Polish players scores a 25-yard curler... with his backside!

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Odra Wodzisław striker Adam Czerkas settled his side's match against Wisla Plock this weekend with a 25-yard strike courtesy of his backside. The former Queens Park Rangers loanee's cheeky goal was not quite as impressive as it may sound at first but as flukes go, it was pretty good. [Rob Parker]

Queen supports Arsenal

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The Queen has revealed that she has supported Arsenal for more than 50 years. The Sun claims that the Queen has followed in the footsteps of the late Queen Mother by following the Gunners. A 'senior royal source' confirmed that Her Majesty's admiration for former player Denis Compton had led to her being a Gooner throughout her reign. The Arsenal squad visited Buckingham Palace last October after the Queen was forced to pull out of opening the Emirates Stadium.

Holy Moly! God hates WAGs t-shirt

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It's funny because it's true. God really does hate WAGs, which is a shame because they're a very interesting bunch, not to mention being extremely easy on the eye. Anyhoo, this excellent tee is the combined work of Holy Moly! and Shot Dead in the Head. Buy it here for a mere £18.

Didier Drogba to release rap album under the alias 'Drogbacite'. Word to your mother

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John Barnes… Chris Waddle… Gazza… and now Didier Drogba. News reaches us from The Sun that P Diddier is set to release a rap album under the (crap) alias Drogbacite. DD said: 'Drogbacite is about me and my success.' Well, he certainly has the ego to make it in the rap game.

Good weekend, bad weekend

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Good weekend Celtic Wrapped up their inevitable SPL title with a last gasp victory over mighty Kilmarnock. West Ham The only side in the bottom-half of the table to pick up three points. The Hammers gave themselves a lifeline wih victory over Everton. David James The Portsmouth keeper eventually broke David Seaman's Premiership record by keeping his 142nd clean sheet in the 0-0 draw with Aston Villa.

Cristiano Ronaldo wins PFA awards double

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As expected, Cristiano Ronaldo has won both the PFA Young Player of the Year and the Player of the Year awards. Ronaldo said: 'It is a special night. It is amazing and a big honour for me to win trophies like this in the English Premier League. I am very proud. 'My colleagues have voted for me and that is fantastic because the players know the qualities of players… I want to keep working hard and getting better because these trophies have now given me more motivation.

Should the PFA's Team of the Season include the entire Man Utd defence?

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As well as Ronaldo taking the individual spoils, the PFA Team of the Season was also announced last night. It makes sweet reading for Man Utd fans, with no less than eight United players making the cut: Edwin van der Sar; Gary Neville, Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, Patrice Evra; Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Cristiano Ronaldo (all Man Utd), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool); Didier Drogba (Chelsea), Dimitar Berbatov (Spurs) I don't argue with Vidic, Evra, Scholes and Ronaldo, but I would dispute the claims of Van der Sar (Petr Chech, Ben Foster and David James have had better seasons), G Neville (Steve Finnan has been the best right-back in the Prem by a mile), Rio Ferdinand (not as good as Jamie Carragher or Ricardo Carvalho) and Ryan Giggs (no Michael Essien?

Colchester United player scores with own team-mate

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This Colchester United player (Johnnie Jackson?) clearly has a left foot like a traction engine. His team-mate flew into the top corner at high speed.

Celtic win the world's least competitive league. McYawn…

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Congrats to Celtic, who wrapped up the SPL title today, but come on, there are teams in League One that could run Celtic closer than Rangers and co. The SPL is a joke league right now. It was bad enough when Rangers and Celtic took turns to win it, but now Celtic are in a class of one. That's not Gordon Strachan's fault (he's done a very good job), but it does Scottish football no good at all to have such an uncompetitive Premier League.

David James breaks Premiership clean-sheet record

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Well done Jamo – Portsmouth's 0-0 draw at Aston Villa this afternoon (a deadly dull match) takes you up to 142 clean sheets, a new Premiership record. You got there in the end. Talking of clean sheets…

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer = cheeky punt

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The ref was right to disallow this goal during MAn U's 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough on Saturday. Technically Solskjaer was interfering with Schwarzer's kick, although you have to admire the Norwegian's cheek. George Best did a similar thing when he knocked the ball out of Gordon Banks' hand playing for Northern Ireland against England. That 'goal', which you can watch after the click, was not given either…

Sexy World Cup 2006, part five: England

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Some pretty girls in this vid (and some, er, less pretty girls), but it's totally spoiled by the use of the national anthem, which is about the least sexy piece of music ever written… Previous Sexy World Cups: Brazil, Germany, Sweden, Argentina

Milan and Inter commentators face off

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You can keep your cricket, rugby, F1 and any other sport. This is why football is the only beautiful game in town. So Italian, so emotional, so damn funny…

The world's worst pitch inspection

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You have to wonder what this referee would have wanted to see in order to call the game off. Waterlogged doesn't cover it! At least the fans who put up with 90 minutes of swamp wrestling also got to see the magnificent goal celebration at the end of the clip. [Rob Parker]

Dive of the week: Adriano, Inter Milan v Roma

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Italian football leading the fight against diving. Would you credit it? Well, Inter Milan striker Adriano has been given a retrospective two-match ban for conning the referee into giving a penalty in a game against Roma on Wednesday night. As if that wasn't justice enough Roma also won the game 1-3! [Via The Offside, Rob Parker]

Wayne Rooney sued by Everton boss David Moyes

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Everton manager David Moyes is suing Wayne Rooney over comments made in the Manchester United star's autobiography. Moyes issued a writ at the High Court claiming Rooney's book - My Story So Far -had "injured his professional and personal reputation" and caused him distress. The action relates to Rooney's account of his transfer from Goodison Park to Old Trafford.

Jose Mourinho won't be sacked, says Peter Kenyon

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The most lovable man in football, Chelsea chief exec Peter Kenyon, has revealed the club will NOT sack boss Jose Mourinho this summer. Kenyon told Chelsea TV: 'Jose's got a contract until 2010 and we're not going to sack him. He's got the full support of the board, that's really important… We've been linked with something like 14 managers now I think, but we've not got a list and we're not looking.

One to watch: Charlie Edwards (aged three)

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As our buddies at 101GreatGoals point out, football talent-spotting is getting a bit ridiculous now. It's all very well enjoying the skills of a 12-year-old Enzo Zidane, but Charlie Edwards is three years old. Three! He doesn't even know the alphabet. Sweet kid, but let's not put any expectations on his little shoulders.

Pies vs Lawro, Premiership predictions… WIN stuff!

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Not sure yet what prize is up for grabs if you win this week's Pies vs Lawro fest, but we'll sort something out for you… SATURDAY Tottenham v Arsenal Lawro: 2-2 Pies: 2-1 Bolton v Reading Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 3-2 Charlton v Sheffield Utd Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-1 Fulham v Blackburn Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-0 Liverpool v Wigan Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 3-0 Watford v Man City Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 1-0 West Ham v Everton Lawro: 1-2 Pies: 1-1 Man Utd v Middlesbrough Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 2-1 SUNDAY Newcastle v Chelsea Lawro: have a guess… yep… 0-2 Pies: 1-1 Aston Villa v Portsmouth Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 4-2 Leave a comment with your predictions…

Top five quotes of the week

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1 'There have been cup shocks before but this would be up there with man landing on the moon.' Aidy Boothroyd knows how to instill confidence in his Watford team. Man U went on to beat the Hornets 4-1 in the FA Cup semis. And wasn't the moon landing meticulously planned, rather than a shock? 2 'With a team you live in a tunnel and sometimes you have to go down and flirt with hell to see how much you can deal with that, so that you become stronger.

Blog of the week: The H List (a West Ham blog)

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The H List may not be as updated as regularly as some blogs, but in this case it's about quality not quantity. West Ham fan 'HeadHammer Shark' is a lifelong season ticket-holder at the Boleyn and it shows in his posts, which bear all the hallmarks of a man who has supported an underperforming team for a long time. Anyway, The H List is very well-written indeed and a must-read for any genuine West Ham fan.

Dario Gradi to step down as Crewe manager

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Dario Gradi is to leave his post as manager of Crewe after 24 years to become the League One club's technical director. The 65 year old is the longest serving boss in the Football League, having taken over at Gresty Road in June 1983, and has been in charge of more than 1,200 games for the Railwaymen. Phew. He's also got the dubious accolade of being the inspiration of the band name for Dario G.

Clubs vote against SPL2 proposal (or something)

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I don't claim to know what the hell is going on in Scottish football: I'm a typical English football fan. That means I keep an eye on my Scottish team (Montrose for the record) and care little for the rest (unless it's Romanov spouting off about Bolsheviks and monkeys). Well, something of a "revolution" is afoot north of the border in the shape of a breakaway league.

A fine goal from Monsieur Franck Ribery

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Is Franck Ribery still rumoured to be Arsenal bound? Either way, he belted in this peach recently and for me, would be a welcome addition to the Premier League. It's no Messi goal, but still worth a look.
Marseille 1-0 Nantes
Uploaded by NeRoMe

Top five tips for the weekend

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TOTTENHAM v ARSENAL TO HAVE OVER 2.5 GOALS (21-20) A bet that has now collected in a staggering 17 of Tottenham's last 19 matches is worth following again at a highly generous looking odds-against. All three of this season's clashes have featured at least three goals and with Spurs still scoring and conceding for fun that is unlikely to change here.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: Centre-backs

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Well Pies readers, you're slowly building an invincible Premership team of the season. So far you've chosen Petr Cech in goal, Steve Finnan at right-back and yesterday you selected crazy Frenchman Patrice Evra at left-back, with 36% of the vote (at time of posting). Three solid choices. So now we move on to the heart of any team's defence… To vote for your top two central defenders, click the link below… Choose the two central defenders you've been most impressed with (you can choose two options in this poll) and register your vote (just one vote per person, so choose wisely!

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1 Barnet, Southampton, Fulham, Birmingham City (current). Whose career path? 2 What nationality is Blackburn club captain Ryan Nelsen? 3 Picture round. Who's this? 4 Which English league side plays its home games at Millmoor? 5 Which Scottish league side does Chancellor Gordon Brown support? 6 The club crest challenge: Answers after the click… Answers 1 Maik Taylor 2 He's a New Zealander 3 Phillip Lahm, Germany and Bayern Munich full-back 4 Rotherham United 5 Raith Rovers 6 Deportivo Wanka (tee-hee) So how was it for you my darlings?

Owen Hargreaves & Bayern buddies hang out with some babes

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If any German Pies readers can explain what's going on here, I'd be very grateful. I recognise Owen Hargreaves (looking happy to be sandwiched between a couple of honeys), Phillip Lahm (looking about 12 years old) and Roque Sante Cruz (looking tall, dark and handsome), but who are the women? More pix of the lovely ladies after the jumpy spider…

Fantasy Friday: week 33 review

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Like the best Photoshoppers, the most successful Fantasy Football managers often have good attention to detail and too much time on their hands. This serves only to prove that the likes of Tommy and Matt M have a good eye for a player who might pick up a few extra points on a given weekend. Equally we can deduce that Shiny Media head honcho / Pies Fantasy League table-propper Ashley is a very busy man!

Michael Owen 2DTV clip

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Did somebody order a fit Michael Owen? [Rob Parker]

Lionel Messi's wonder goal for Barcelona against Getafe – remind you of anything?

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Barca hammered Getafe 5-2 last night, but the game will always remembered for this brilliant goal by Lionel Messi…
Barcelona 2-0 Getafe Messi Goal
Uploaded by chalermwech If you're thinking, 'That looks familiar…' then you're right – it's amazingly similar to Diego Maradona's wonder goal for Argentina against England at the 1986 World Cup.

Lionel Messi 'Impossible is Nothing' Adidas ad

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Lionel Messi has already proved that impossible is nothing, and here he is doing it for cold hard corporate cash…

David Dein leaves Arsenal. World keeps turning, Arsenal still a bit rubbish really

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I suppose this is, like, big news to some people - like Arsenal fans and other Premiership vice-chairmen. To me, it has about as much to do with football as… erm… something that has not very much to do with football. Cricket, for example. In other words, I could hardly care less that Dein has stormed off in a huff. Okay, he did bring Arsene Wenger to Highbury, which has turned out to be one of the greatest decisions in the Gunners' history, but really, I never much cared for him.

Fake naked full-frontal pictures of David Beckham. The royal penis is clean, your highness…

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The internet is about to crash, because so many web surfers (showing my age there) are abuzz over a full-frontal naked picture of David Beckham. Except, obviously, it's not a naked picture of David Beckham at all. It's Beckham's head Photoshopped onto the body of some naked dude. It's not a bad Photoshop job, but still, we're not fooled. Why someone would take the time to create such a fake, who knows?

Jacqui Oatley to become first woman to commentate on Match of the Day

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As reported in The Sun, this Saturday commentator Jacqui Oatley will take the mic for Fulham v Blackburn in the Premiership. In doing so, Oatley will become the first woman to commentate on a Saturday fixture for MotD. About time too. You might know Oakley from BBC Radio 5 Live's football coverage. I've heard her a few times and she's good. That said, I did chuckle at a comment left by a Sun reader on the newspaper's website: 'Who cares what her commentary is like as long as she gets her **** out…' I guess it's chauvinistic views like that which explain why it's taken so long for a woman to break through into Motty's sheepskin world.

Linfield captain Noel Bailie gets hit by a rock

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If you thought Fat Frank and co had it tough as their luxury coach was hit by a brick last night, spare a thought for Linfield captain Noel Bailie. As part of Pies' plans for world domination I was in Northern Ireland at the weekend and saw Linfield's title-deciding derby match against Glentoran. Having all but mathematically helped his side win the league, Bailie was hit just above the eye by a rock thrown by Glentoran fans gathered around the tunnel as he left the pitch.

McClown 'We're not loving it' t-shirt from TShirts365

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You know that a backlash is truly under way when even the TShirts365 designs are against you. Although you have to wonder whether it is possible to have a backlash when you never really had a 'lash' in the first place! Anyhow, this t-shirt furthers the McClown puns that followed the poor performance in Israel by adapting the McDonald's I'm loving it advertising slogan.

Enzo Zidane video. The boy's a bit magnifique…

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The other day we told you about Enzo Zidane, the 12-year-old son of Zinedine. Well here's a clip of Zizou Jr in action. It's clear his dad has been teaching him a few tricks.

Michael Owen 50/50 for comeback against Chelsea on Sunday

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Michael Owen has a 50/50 chance of appearing against Chelsea on Sunday, according to Newcastle manager Glenn Roeder. Owen has been out of action since picking up a knee ligament injury in England's World Cup match against Sweden last June. Roeder said: "He is 50-50, but he will not return until in my opinion he is in pristine condition - and he has had a slight groin strain which he picked up in shooting practice at the end of last week.

Brick cracks window of Chelsea team coach before West Ham game

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I was about to write the headline 'West Ham yob chucks brick at Chelsea team bus' until I realised that there's no proof at all that it was a Hammers fan - everyone hates Chelsea, so who knows? Frank Lampard said that a brick was thrown at the Chelsea team coach as it arrived at Upton Park for last night's game against West Ham. Lamps said: 'The window got shattered.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season: Left-back

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So the first two positions on your team of the season have been filled. After a day's solid voting, you selected Liverpool's Steve Finnan in the right-back position, to add to Chelsea goalie Petr Cech. Another fine decision, Pies' readers. Finnan is still underrated and he's had a terrific season for the 'Pool. He scored (at time of posting) 34% of the vote.

Would you be sad to see Frank Lampard leave the Premiership?

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Frank Lampard has admitted it would be 'a great experience' to play for Barcelona, again prompting speculation that he could be set for a move to the Nou Camp in the summer. Lamps is yet to sign a new Chelsea contract and is known to be an admirer of the Spanish giants - there were even rumours (wholly unfounded, we add) that part of the reason he played badly at the 2006 World Cup because he was pissed off that a move to Barca had fallen through.

Premiership review: West Ham 1-4 Chelsea

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It looked like boys against men at Upton Park last night. West Ham's defeat means they are virtual certs to be relegated, while Chelsea just won't let Man U relax at the top. This was a very impressive, very powerful performance by the champions, who remind me of the German team in Escape to Victory – loads of power and athleticism, but not much in the way of charisma or personality.

Lionel Messi mimics Maradona with wonder goal against Getafe

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Barcelona wonderkid Lionel Messi scored a goal of the season candidate as he helped his side to a 5-2 victory over Getafe in the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey. The goal bears more than a passing resemblance to Diego Maradona's goal against England in the 1986 World Cup. Here they are side-by-side.
Click below to see Messi's goal by itself.

Oldham chairman waxes his chest for Coca Cola Buy A Player competition

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This eye-watering video shows Oldham Athletic chairman Simon Blitz having his chest waxed to convince Addicks fans to buy more Coca Cola. It is all in the name of the fizzy drink manufactuer's grassroots-supporting / die-hard-fan-exploiting Buy A Player competition. Several chairmen have provided video appeals for the Buy A Player website encouraging supporters to shell out.

New machine to tell you whether the football is exciting

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A machine could soon be deciding the Premiership's most exciting moments for you instead of Gary Lineker and his Band of Merrymen. Researchers at BT have developed an algorithm which picks out the most interesting bits of a match. It is thought the algorithm could be used to generate highlight packages in the future. The system - which has been developed over the past five years - has been tested against a human football fan.

Shopping basket: Limited edition George Best print, signed by surviving members of Man Utd's 1968 European Cup-winning side

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In association with The Observer newspaper, Intofootball.co.uk are selling a limited edition 125 prints of Paul Trevillion's artistic tribute to George Best, titled simply 'The Genius'. Each print is signed by the surviving members of Man Utd's European Cup-winning squad of 1968: Alex Stepney, Tony Dunne, Pat Crerand, Brian Kidd, Bill Foulkes, Nobby Stiles, Bobby Charlton, David Sadler and John Aston.

Premiership preview: West Ham v Chelsea

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This one's pretty simple. If West Ham lose, they're down (not mathematically, but there's no way I can see them escaping); if Chelsea lose, Man Utd win the title (see above). In other words, it's a crucial game, or, if you like cliches, a massive six-pointer. West Ham boss Eggert Magnusson has drafted in world-famous tenor Gardar Thor Cortes to get the crowd going before kick-off.

Poland and Ukraine to host Euro 2012

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Against the odds, the odd couple of Poland and Ukraine (trips off the tongue, doesn't it?) have been chosen by Uefa to host the European Championships in 2012. It will be the first time that either nation has ever hosted a major football championship. The announcement, made by Uefa president Michel Platini in Cardiff today, came as a big shock to most – Italy had been widely tipped to win the vote.

Classic Moments: John Fashanu arm wrestles Brian Kilcline

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I won't spoil it by telling you the result, but you can tell that the loser is gutted…

Shit Lookalikes: Gary Neville vs Gareth Keenan from The Office

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Ok, so they don't look that similar - it's more to do with the fact that I bet their personalities are a very close match. If Gary Neville worked in a crappy office, he'd be a total jobsworth with a tidy desk and a stapler that he's written his name on in Tippex.

Premiership review: Man Utd 2-0 Sheffield Utd

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Another three points in the bag for United, whose lead over Chelsea stretches to six points (seven effectively thanks to their far superior goal difference). Michael Carrick latched on to Cristiano Ronaldo's through ball to score the opener after just four minutes. Carrick is having a very good second half of the season. His calm, measured play in central midfield really complements the likes of Ronaldo, Scholes and Rooney.

Premiership review: Arsenal 3-1 Man City

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Arsenal move into third in the Prem table, above Liverpool, ending Man City's five-goal unbeaten run. Tomas Rosicky ghosted into the box, David Platt-like, to open the scoring. City hit back through DaMarcus Beasley, who finished neatly just before the end of the first half. Despite some good play early in the second half, City were scuppered when Cesc Fabregas and Julio Baptista scored with two fine strikes.

WAG of the week: Carly Zucker

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Name Carly Zucker Nationality British WAG of… Chelsea & England midfielder Joe Cole. The couple are engaged and currently live in Cole's £5m pad in Cobham, Surrey (according to Wikipedia, anyway). Fame ranking 5/10 The acceptable face of WAGs, Zucker found fame during the 2006 World Cup, but with Joe Cole out for much of the season, she's dropped off the tabloid radar somewhat.

The crazy world of Patrice Evra: 'The only way to stop Cristiano Ronaldo is to kill him…'

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Something has probably been lost in translation, but we still enjoyed Patrice Evra's take on how to defend against Man U team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo. Evra said: 'Nobody can stop him. Probably the only way to do it is to kill him. When he runs at you, you try to grab his shirt or do whatever you can. But he just goes past you, makes fun out of you and leaves you kicking the air.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season, part two: Right-back

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Yesterday you voted Petr Cech as goalie of the season – not bad considering he was out for a long time with a serious head injury. You have good taste Piefolk - Cech was my choice too. Now, the second part in our vote to assemble a definitive team of the season asks you to pick a right-back. Vote in the poll below for your choice for the best right-back of the season.

THE VOTE Who should manage Chelsea next season?

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Following Sunday's reconciliatory hugs and kisses, rumours of Jose Mourinho's imminent exit from Chelsea have started again today. Jurgen Klinsmann is the latest name to be mentioned with the Chelsea post. Who is the best man to spend Roman's roubles? Should the Blues stand by the Special One? Only the Pies public can decide! Blog Poll - Take Our Poll [Rob Parker]

Omar goodness! Sporting Gijon striker scores spectacular scissor kick

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Pies thought Omar was an out-of-work British soul singer, but apparently he is also a striker for Spanish side Sporting Gijon. At the weekend this Omar netted a spectacular overhead scissor-kick against Castellon. It is the kind of goal you can watch over and over again, something the creator of this video was only too aware of! [Via The Offside, Rob Parker]

Elton John sullies the good name of the Intertoto Cup

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Scottish outfit Inverness Caledonian Thistle have dropped out of the Intertoto Cup because the first round of fixtures clash with an Elton John concert at their stadium. Any far-flung Eastern European side turning up at the Caledonian Stadium on 15 July will find themselves Crocodile Rock-ing rather than playing half-pace football and wishing they were lying on a beach somewhere.

Alan Smith takes a swing at Darren Fletcher

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In-fighting at a table-topping team at this stage of the season would normally spell trouble, but this punch-up between Alan Smith and Darren Fletcher is purely accidental. Smudger gets a bit carried away celebrating Michael Carrick's opener against Sheffield United last night and gives Fletcher a whack round the head. [Rob Parker]

England crash out of World Cup

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An England side. Eleven players. High expectations. A series of distinctly average perfomances against inferior opposition. Star players under-performing. Talk of results mattering more than performances and England turning it on when it really matters. And then the inevitable exit. Sound familiar? England's cricket team have mirrored the dismal efforts of the footballers last summer by crashing out of the World Cup with defeat to South Africa.

Uruguayan fitness coach horse dopes his players

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A fitness coach at Uruguayan outfit Penarol has been sacked after administering players with a drug more commonly associated with racehorses. Players at the club tested positive for creatine. "It's bad, there's no explaining it," said team doctor Alfredo Rienzi, who coincidentally has his own website [Via FourFourTwo, Rob Parker]

New York Red Bulls silver and enamel ring

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Red Bull: it gives you rings! Perfect for the fashion senseless Juan Pablo Angel fan in your life, this monstrosity of a New York Red Bulls ring is available from MLSGear. It is solid silver with an enamel finish, and is manufactured in the haute couture fashion capital that is Bali. Being punched by someone wearing one of these beasts is not recommended.

Classic Moments: Spurs fan throws the ball at Robert Pires, and Bobby feigns to throw it back

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Here is Villareal's physio room hermit Robert Pires in his days as an Arsenal winger. A Spurs fan returns the ball to him, albeit with a little more venom than Bobby had anticipated. [Rob Parker]

Juan Pablo Angel joins MLS outfit New York Red Bulls

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Aston Villa striker Juan Pablo Angel is the latest player to follow the David Beckham gravy train to the USA. The Colombian has signed a £40,000 a week deal with New York Red Bulls. The crap-turned-good-turned-crap-again has lost his place in the Villa first team since Christmas and was behind John Carew, Luke Moore, Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor in the pecking order.

Great goalkeepers YouTube video compilation

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Seems fitting to post this on the day that we're asking you to vote for the Premiership's best goalie this season.

One to watch: Enzo Zidane (Real Madrid), 12-year-old son of you-know-who

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Enzo Zidane - isn't that the coolest damn name you ever heard? He sounds like a superbad Bond villain or a racing driver from the Fifites. As it happens, he's neither - but he is the son of a certain Zinedine Zidane, which surely comes third on the list of coolness. Enzo, named after Uruguay football legend Enzo Francescoli (I remember having a World Cup 86 Panini sticker of him on our fridge at home when I was a teenager), is 12 years old and starting out on his football career – the signs are already there that he has what it takes to follow in his dad's footsteps.

The PFA Player of the Year nominations: what the bloggers say

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'Giggs and Scholes seem like sentimental picks to me. Remove Ronaldo from the ManU lineup and you notice the hole.' [The Footie Fool] 'Players like Gareth Barry and Nemanja Vidic deserve recognition but they'll never get it because they'll never be the best players in the league and they aren't young, yet have outperformed Micah Richards, Wayne Rooney and Aaron Lennon all season long.

Jose Mourinho attacks John Terry after Chelsea's win at Valencia

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JT never knew what hit him… [Via Chelsea Blog]

The Tuesday 10: great comedy dives

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I could fill a list like this 20 times over, but here are ten of my favourites… 1 El Halawani, Apollon K v Panathinaikos I'm a little unclear about the details of this (please correct me if it's not El Halawani who dived), but I do know that it's such a brilliant example of the dark art of 'simulation' that it has to be No.

THE VOTE Choose your team of the season, part one: Goalkeeper

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For the next few days, we want your votes so we can put together a definitive Premiership team of the season, position by position (including, finally, a manager). Naturally enough, we'll start with the No.1s, namely goalkeepers. Vote in the poll below for your choice for the 'keeper of the season. NOTE You can only vote once, so choose wisely!

Ian Holloway: Bosman ruling is 'a pile of donkey dung'

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It's been a bit quiet on the HolloWatch front for a bit, so it's good to report that Ollie's once again been giving good copy. After Plymouth's 2-1 win at Luton on Saturday, when he left out defender Tony Capaldi, who wants to leave Home Park, Ollie took a pop at the Bosman ruling: 'I think it's a pile of donkey dung. FIFA should scrap the Bosman ruling and get back to the way it was where anybody who is out of contract should be owned by the club and he should be able to command a fee for them.

Becks has 'big balls', feels no pain, says his tattooist

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David Beckham's tattooist has nicknamed him 'big balls' for being a macho macho man during a six-hour tattoo session. Celeb inker Louis Malloy was stunned when Becks calmly watched football throughout a session under the needle. Malloy said: 'He doesn't even wince — he just watched football as I did the elbow to the wrist, which is painful… You need big balls to do that.

Best goal celebrations video

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Robbie Fowler's white-line snort is still the best…
Best Goal Celebrations - Celebrity bloopers here

How the hell does Cesc Fabregas make the PFA Player of the Year shortlist?

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On the back of our Player of the Season vote, the shortlist for the official PFA Player of the Year award has just been announced. Cristiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba head the list, naturally, with a supporting cast of Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Steven Gerrard and… wait for it… you're gonna love this… honestly… Cesc Fabregas.

COMPETITION Pies vs Lawro, Premiership/FA Cup predictions: THE RESULT!

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Have your predictions won you a lovely Goalhanger t-shirt? Read on… SATURDAY Arsenal v Bolton Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 2-1 Man City v Liverpool Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 0-1 Actual: 0-0 Middlesbrough v Aston Villa Lawro: 1-2 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 1-3 Portsmouth v Newcastle Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 2-2 Actual: 2-1 Reading v Fulham Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 3-1 Actual: 1-0 Sheffield Utd v West Ham Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 1-2 Actual: 3-0 Watford v Man Utd (FA Cup) Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 0-3 Actual: 1-4 SUNDAY Wigan v Tottenham Lawro: 1-0 Pies: 1-1 Actual: 3-3 Everton v Charlton Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-0 Actual: 2-1 Blackburn v Chelsea (FA Cup) Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 1-0 Actual: 1-2 THE RESULT: Lawro scored EIGHT points, whilst Pies could only muster a weedy FIVE.

If you read one Roy Keane interview today…

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If you didn't read The Observer yesterday, you will have missed out on Tom Humphries' excellent 'big interview' with Roy Keane (first published in the Irish Times). The Sunderland boss/new Alex Ferguson speaks freely, even revealing that some of his players do impressions of him: 'They were brave enough after the few pints to ring me up on a Sunday afternoon to take the mick out of me.

MLS review: week 2. LA Galaxy continues to struggle

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In week two of the MLS, there were wins for Dallas (against the currently winless LA Galaxy - Becks, they need you), Houston Dynamo, New England Revs, Red Bull NY and the brilliantly named Kansas City Wizards. Watch all the goals here, courtesy of Climbing the Ladder…

FA Cup semi final review: Watford 1-4 Man Utd, Chelsea 2-1 Blackburn (aet)

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So the FA will be happier than Larry this morning. They got the showpiece final they wanted for the new Wembley. No surprise that Watford couldn't match Man U's firepower (although they put up a good fight), but Blackburn really made Chelsea sweat; the Blues won out after extra time, causing Roman Abramovich to fall back in love with Jose Mourinho.

Top five Premiership goals of the weekend

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1 James McFadden, Everton v Charlton Reminiscent of Gazza's famous goal against the Scots at Euro 96. A great goal to win a less-than-great game. Match highlights here (McFadden's goal is near the end of the clip):
Everton vs Charlton Highlights
Uploaded by FootballHeaven 2 Robbie Keane, Wigan v Spurs Woeful defending by Wigan and a fantastic instinctive finish from Keano.

Shit lookalike of the day: Juan Sebastian Veron

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According to the Fake Faces lookalike agency, Gerry Crawford decided to become a lookalike 'when he realised the amount of people telling him he looked like Juan Veron'. Hmm, he looks more like a rubbish WWF wrestler than Veron. However, should you feel the urge to utilise the talents of Gerry/Juan (it's hard to tell the difference, isn't it), then you can hire him for an event here.

VOTE Who is your Premiership player of the season?

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So the Prem season is almost over and I think it's safe to now ask you the big question: who is your player of the season? We've listed our candidates below, but if you disagree with our shortlist, then click 'Other' in the poll and join the debate by adding a comment. For the record, Pies would give the award to Cristiano Ronaldo, whose coruscating form this season has been a revelation.

Hillsborough tragedy. Remember.

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This weekend sees the anniversary of the Hillsborough tragedy which saw 96 Liverpool fans lose their lives. The video below shows how the disaster was reported at the time. While we enjoy the football this weekend, spare a thought for those who lost their lives whilst simply trying to watch a game of football.

Cristiano Ronaldo sells bank stuff

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It's a good thing that Cristiano Ronaldo is pals with a bank (as this video shows) now he's signed a big fat deal with ManYoo. Lucky bugger. He'll have the best interest rate in the land...

Mad Jens to consider future at Arsenal

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Arsenal keeper/clown Jens Lehmann will decide whether to accept the club's offer of a one-year deal within the next week. The German's contract expires at the end of the season but Arsenal's policy is to offer senior players only 12-month extensions... and he is the ripe old age of 37. "I think there will be a decision within the next few days or next week," Lehmann told the club's website.

Man Utd v Chelsea or Watford v Blackburn - what's your dream FA Cup final?

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The FA must be dying to see England's two best teams (Man Utd and Chelsea) grace the new Wembley, and I wasn't surprised to see the semi-final draw keep the pair apart. Scott Murray, writing in today's Guardian sports blog, claims that he wants nothing more than a gloriously unfashionable Blackburn v Watford final. It's a predictable, crowd-pleasing piece – and he's right to point out that several 'dream finals' in recent years have failed to spark – but would the neutral really want to sit through 90 minutes of Blackburn v Watford?

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1 Spurs, Ipswich Town, Birmingham City, Wolves (current). Whose career? 2 Which team plays its home games at the Home Depot Center? 3 Picture round. Who's this? 4 To the nearest 100, how many toilets are there in the new Wembley Stadium? 5 What was England's 1990 World Cup song World In Motion originally called, before the FA vetoed the title?

Fulham coach Dave Beasant avoids a trip to the Jobcentre

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Fulham goalkeeping coach Dave Beasant found himself out of work for about half an hour on Tuesday night. The ex-Wimbledon keeper was sacked at 11pm - along with manager Chris Coleman and most of his coaching staff - in a telephone call from the Cottagers' managing director, David McNally. Beasant had barely had time to hit the bottle when new Fulham boss Lawrie Sanchez - an FA Cup-winning teammate of Beasant - rang to tell him he could have his job back.

Fantasy Friday: week 32

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Welcome to our weekly Fantasy Football review. Things are hotting in up in the Pies Fantasy League. With just a handful of games remaining, there is everything to play for (well, unless you're among the mid-table masses in which case you might as well pack up for the summer like Blackburn in real-life). Anyhow, I digress. The latest league table is to be found after the jump.

Top five tips for the weekend

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DIDIER DROGBA TO SCORE FIRST FOR CHELSEA AGAINST BLACKBURN (4-1) Blackburn's rugged approach to life should be ideally suited to defending against big powerful players. If it is then no one has told Didier Drogba. The Ivorian has scored each of the last three times he has started against Mark Hughes's men, twice bagging the game's first goal.

UEFA Cup review: Tottenham 2-2 Sevilla

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As someone with a soft spot for Spurs, I really thought they were going all the way in the UEFA Cup this season. Their name was on the cup, or so I thought until about ten minutes into last night's second-leg quarter final, when they found themselves 2-0 down to a very strong Sevilla side (lovely finish by Spurs old boy Freddie Kanoute for the second); perhaps the home team were put off by the Spaniards' shockingly bright away kit.

FA to blame for poor FA Cup semi final ticket sales?

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Watford are reported to still have 1,500 unsold tickets for Saturday's semi-final against Man Utd at Villa Park, whilst Blackburn and Chelsea, who meet at Old Trafford on Sunday at 4pm, have both failed to sell 8,000 tickets of their allocations. The FA has come in for criticism for its choice of venue, but, as they say in their defence, Villa Park and Old Trafford are 'established venues', used to hosting big cup games.

Real who? Cristiano Ronaldo signs new five-year contract for Man Utd

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Real Madrid, stick that in your overpriced pipe and smoke it! Master Ronaldo loves playing with John O'Shea, Kieron Richardson and Darren Fletcher so much that he has decided to snub your billion-dollar advances and sign a new, improved five-year contract that will keep him at Old Trafford until 2012. 'I am delighted,' said CR. 'I spoke with Sir Alex and David Gill about my future and everyone knew that I wanted to stay.

Pies vs Lawro, FA Cup & Premiership predictions - WIN a cool retro t-shirt!

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Pies vs the huge football brain of Mark Lawrenson. It's on again! If you fancy yourself as a top tipster, add your predictions for the weekend's action to be in with a chance of winning a cool retro-style footy t-shirt from our friends at Goalhanger.com. SATURDAY Arsenal v Bolton Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 1-1 Man City v Liverpool Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 0-1 Middlesbrough v Aston Villa Lawro: 1-2 Pies: 1-1 Portsmouth v Newcastle Lawro: 2-0 Pies: 2-2 Reading v Fulham Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 3-1 Sheffield Utd v West Ham Lawro: 1-1 Pies: 1-2 Watford v Man Utd (FA Cup) Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 0-3 SUNDAY Wigan v Tottenham Lawro: 1-0 Pies: 1-1 Everton v Charlton Lawro: 2-1 Pies: 1-0 Blackburn v Chelsea (FA Cup) Lawro: 0-2 Pies: 1-0 To be in with a shout of winning the t-shirt of your choice from Goalhanger, post up your predictions in a comment by midday Saturday.

ManYoo fans asked not to drink as much (hah!)

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UEFA have asked Manchester United to warn fans to curb their drinking habits ahead of the Champions League semi against AC Milan next month. This request comes after United supporters were attacked in Rome and they discovered that they will face another trip to Italy in May. An invenstigation is still ongoing by UEFA into the events surrounding the first leg of the quarter-final with Roma.

Blog of the day: Some People Are On the Pitch

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Like 'Who Ate All the Pies', Some People Are On the Pitch is a phrase that is a part of the fabric of English football. And, like Pies, SPAOtP (a handy acronym, don't you think?) is also a fine football blog that you should add to your favourites. It features good writing (always a bonus), silly lists (we love silly lists) and a host of fun features, like Obscure Kits from British Football History.

Westlife's Brian McFadden scores an overhead kick. Strange but true…

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Yes, that Brian McFadden - the chunky one who used to be in Westlife. Cracking finish (from a charity football match). Steve Staunton, you could do a lot worse…

Rafa turns heat up in Mourinho war of words

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Liverpool gaffer Rafa Benitez has cranked up the war of words with Chelsea counterpart Jose Mourinho ahead of their Champions League semi-final clash. Mourinho has already claimed Liverpool will be favourites as they are only challenging for the Champions League, but Benitez responded with : "We were good friends until we started winning, then he started changing his mind.

Danes show Henry how to take a penalty kick

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We all remember that botched attempt at the 'Cruyff' penalty by Pires and Henry which made the pair a laughing stock for a while. Well, here's some unknown Danes showing them how it should be done. Cracking.


Penalti_cabuloso
Uploaded by rottevis

Champions League review: Liverpool 1-0 PSV Eindhoven

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Not the greatest game you'll ever see, but then Liverpool did 95% of the work in Holland; there was no way PSV were going to overturn a 3-0 first-leg deficit. Crouchinho scored his third goal against PSV in two games to complete a thoroughly professional job. Apart from that, not much to report. You can watch highlights of the match here.

THE VOTE Is Cristiano Ronaldo worth £54m?

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Are Real Madrid really prepared to splash out £54m on Cristiano Ronaldo, as reported in the Guardian today? That is a monstrous transfer fee, not to mention the £150,000 a week salary that he would be looking to pocket. Is he really worth that much cash? And what happened to Real's claim that the galacticos era was at an end? There's no doubt that CR is currently the hottest property in world football, but is his footwork that dazzling?

Classic Moment: Jeff Stelling's silent 'f**k'

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Jeff Stelling is a big Hartlepool fan, but of course he has to remain impartial at all times in his role as anchor of Sky Sports' weekend football coverage. Except when Hartlepool concede a goal in the last ten minutes of a game, in which case he may be tempted to let out a silent swear word when he thinks the cameras are not on him… [Via Guardian Sport]

Horror Hair: Javi Navarro, Sevilla

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Talking of big, tough centre backs with girlie hair, keep you eyes peeled for Sevilla's Javi Navarro playing against Tottenham tonight. The Spanish side's captain is hard as nails, yet there is more than a hint of Mexes about his choice of haircut. In the first leg, Navarro wore his hair in the sort of mini-ponytail more commonly seen on an eight-year-old girl.

Four high scoring Champions League games

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The gang at 101Greatgoals has tracked down footage of some of the greatest spankings in the history of the Champions League. Viva Youtube! 1 Juventus 7-0 Olympiakos (10 December, 2003) David Trezeguet bags a brace as Juve thrash the helpless Greeks. Four high scoring Champions League games continued 2 Monaco 8-3 Deportivo La Coruna (5 November, 2003) Dado Prso bagged four in this thriller.

England to face Brazil in first Wembley clash

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England will play their first game at Wembley on 1 June against Brazil, and not a blind team as we had first thought! The match is England's first at Wembley since the Kevin Keegan-inspired 0-1 defeat to Germany in October 2000. The friendly will come just five days before the Euro 2008 qualifier in Estonia. The FA's director of communications and head of stating the obvious, Adrian Bevington, said: "There will not be any problems with ticket allocations because Wembley will be the biggest stadium in the country to host these games.

THE VOTE Who will win the Champions League?

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England 3-1 Italy. That is the makeup of this season's Champions League semi-finals. No representatives from Spain, Germany or elsewhere. So of Manchester United, AC Milan, Chelsea and Liverpool, where will you be putting your money? United are in scintillating European form judging by Tuesday night; Milan shouldn't be in the competition but their quality is obvious to see; Chelsea are peaking at the right time and Liverpool progressed comfortably and only have the Champions League to concentrate on.

Classic Moments: Luis Garcia's controversial goal against Chelsea, 2005

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With a Chelsea-Liverpool Champions League now confirmed, time for a spot of deja vu. Here is Luis Garcia's goal which decided the 2005 semi-final between the two sides. All of the ball over all of the line? Hmm. [Rob Parker]

Spurs cleared over one man pitch invasion

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Tottenham have been cleared of any blame after a fan ran on to the pitch following their FA Cup replay and threw a girlie punch at Chelsea's Frank 'KD Lang' Lampard. Chelsea's quarter-final win descended into bedlam after the final whistle when Lampard was forced to duck a punch. As an aside, it was one of the poorest punches ever thrown in my memory.

Sticker Sunday

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Sticker Sunday returns to Who Ate All The Pies this week. Don't forget to get in touch if you need anything from the Pies swap shop, which is unfortunately very well stocked at the moment! PACK 1 Brynjar Gunnarsson (Reading) Icelandic international with a lopsided smile. Al Bangura (Watford) Swap!