By Alan Duffy

"Oi Xavi, stop poncing about, go long... hit the channels, you f*****g girl's blouse"

Never one to hide his light under a bushel, West Ham boss Sam Allardyce has eased Hammers fans fears by reiterating that, despite being linked to the England job (a tiny bit), he is still fully focused on his job at Upton Park.

Buenas! The realists and statisticians among you won't be surprised that Barcelona defeated the very loveable Valencia 2-0 last night. But as it seems, Madrid are frontrunners to win the La Liga, so el Blaugranas will be hoping to take home their 26th Spanish Cup title title.

Cesc Fabregas and Xavi guide Barcelona to their 12th Copa Del Rey final. Leo Messi had a hand in both goals. Gol TV's inimitable Ray Hudson, "Messi, like a gazelle through the cheetahs" couldn't have said it better. They meet Athletic Bilbao in the final most likely on 25th May.

Barcelona are through to the Copa Del Rey final where they will play Athletic Bilbao after a 2-0 win over Valencia at the Camp Nou. Goals by Cesc Fabregas and a late strike by midfield maestro Xavi helped seal a 2-0 win (3-1 on aggregate) for the Spanish champions. Pep Guardiola's men will now face [.

The inevitable African Cup of Nations championship matchup between the continent's two powerhouses has made way for a title game involving an underdog side that is a win away from capping off a Hollywood-worthy script.

Upstart Zambia shocked favored Ghana, 1-0, to advance to the tournament final and prevent the Black Stars from seeking redemption for their loss in the 2010 final.

FC Barcelona booked their place in the Copa Del Rey final with a 2-0 victory against Valencia at Camp Nou. Goals from Cesc Fabregas and Xavi gave Barca a bit of nervous victory. Now the final will be against Atletic Bilbao, between the two most successful teams in the Copa Del Rey history.

Welcome to a slightly late edition of La Liga Lunes (La Liga Monday!) Over the weekend, the Women's FIFA Ballon d'Or winner Homare Sawa met up with Barcelona maestro Xavi at the club's training ground. Her team, INAC Kobe from the Japanese Women's league, played a friendly against Barcelona's female squad (highlights below).

FC Barcelona vs. Brazil in 1999 - The Full Match

The beginning of the week is never enjoyable, but let's lessen the dosage of suffering with a glorious find on Youtube. 1999 was FC Barcelona's centenary year and the whole season was quite the celebration of everything FC Barcelona.

Que dulce! Valencia kept to their promise to the fans last night and held Barca to a 1-1 draw with a 27th minute screamer from Jonas. Part of the promise was to play their best and not lose in front of the home fans, so this result is significantly better than a loss.

Have heart Real Madrid faithful, the Phoenix shall rise from the ashes. Barcelona's roster will age, wither, and eventually lose to us on a more regular basis. However, until then, we must cope. Seven points give us solace, but not joy. Rumors of Mou's departure stalk our nightmares. Only one thing can brighten these dark times: laughing at amusing and ill conceived pictures.

Adidas Euro 2012 Tango 12 Official Match Ball

It's a customary thing now for a Major Championship Finals to have their own Official Match Ball, a thing which can sometimes disrupt a Major Finals, remember the 2010 World Cup Ball "The Jabulani"? Nevertheless the Euro 2012 Finals match ball should kick-off without a fuss.

You can argue that everything Barca does these days is being scrutinized or subject to unfair criticism. But it's hard to deny the club's latest tribute to a journalist who passed away and spent his life reporting on the club. That's affectionate dedication for you!

Last week prior to the club's normal press conference, first-team players Xavi, Puyol, Valdés and Iniesta along with Pep Guardiola observed a silent tribute to Dani Montesinos, who formerly worked for Spanish TV and Barca TV.

Awards are for the vain folk that feel the need to be rewarded for greatness. An award, usually a piece of precious metal, is handed to an individual, usually a sentient homo sapiens, based on that individual's contributions to a particular endeavor. Subjectivity underlines the entire process. Humans clasp at the material to the detriment of the abstract.

Pedro celebrates goal that moves Barcelona through to next round of Copa (Photo: REUTERS/Albert Gea)

In a battle of titans, Barcelona held on to defeat Real Madrid 4-3 on aggregate and eliminate the defending Champions from the Copa del Rey.

It was everything a clasico should be: a high-octane encounter of offensive brilliance and heart-stopping tension.

Barcelona: Pinto; Dani Alves, Piqué, Puyol y Abidal; Xavi, Busquets e Iniesta, Fabregas; Messi y Alexis Sánchez. DT: Pep Guardiola
Real Madrid: Casillas; Arbeloa, Albiol, Sergio Ramos y Marcelo; Lass, Xabi Alonoso y Coentrao; Özil, Cristiano Ronaldo e Higuaín. DT: José Mourinho
España: 22:00 horas / Argentina - Chile: 18:00 horas
VER EN VIVOOPCION 1OPCION 2 OPCION 3
OPCION 4
ROJA DIRECTA Pese a los golpes que ha recibido por las autoridades estadounidenses continúa operativa y presenta la mejor oferta de links para seguir online cualquier partido de cualquier disciplina.

Real Madrid suffered another home defeat to Barcelona but this time in the first-leg of the Copa del Rey. The cup loss has not been as painful as the La Liga loss to the bitter rivals from Catalonia. In both defeats the hosts took the lead early on only for the Catalans to strike back to achieve precious and morale boosting victories.

When Carbonara was still a type of pasta sauce to Casillas and when Xavi channeled his inner 'New Kids On The Block'. Ah, what memories! / via Aga on Bellazon

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Real Madrid 4 Athletic Bilbao 1

Welcome to La Liga Lunes! As you may know, Mourinho's formidable Los Blancos defeated Bilbao 4-1 last night, despite Llorente's opening goal in the 13th minute. Unfortunately, the Portuguese was also at the receiving end of jeers from the Madridista crowd, who were allegedly annoyed that he wasn't able to pin down Barcelona earlier in the week.

Peace out until Monday, Kickettes. Image: The Telegraph.

Xavi appeared in his panties after El Clasico.

We're sure some other stuff happened too, but nothing else was as important or fascinating as that.

GOOD WEEK

Click here to view the embedded video.

Former Celtic star Shunsuke Nakamura took part in a live stunt on Japanese TV show where he had to try to curl the ball into a moving bus... Nakamura, who is still playing at 34 for his first professional side Yokohama F. Marinos, launched this absolutely fantastic effort from an alleyway, where he needed mirrors [.

By Chris Wright

"I fart in your general direction!"

Eric Abidal's second goal in over five seasons at the club saw Barcelona come from behind to snatch the victory in last night's Copa del Rey quarter-final first-leg El Clasico in the Bernabeu.

It has become something like a routine for this team - to go to the home of their arch-rivals and win in the most difficult circumstances. Guardiola's men has launched up many style of victroies over here - this one was also a bit different from teh other one. In this edition they decided to concede a lead at half time and then turned it completely over.

Liverpool has made Swansea midfielder Joe Allen one of their primary summer targets reports the Independent.
The 21-year-old Wales international has impressed in the Swans' debut Barclays Premier League campaign, and has captured the attention of a number of rival suitors.
His sensible use of the ball has helped teammate Leon Britton be ranked among Europe's leading passers - beating the likes of Barcelona duo Xavi and Andreas Iniesta.

The battle between the two GQs resumes

Transfer windows are always silly season but they pale in comparison to the sort of collective psychosis and paranoia engendered by El Clasico.

The hysteria before tomorrow's Copa De Rey semi-final first leg has gems like if Mourinho plays Pepe in the midfield then Real has a winning record in the Clasicos.

Barca beat Real Betis as midfield maestro Xavi making his 400th appearance for the Catalunyans scored the opening goal. Leo Messi fresh of his third Ballon D'Or scored two. Betis made it a game but Barca's victory means they are within five points of league leaders Real Madrid. Keeping fingers crossed.

Barcelona vs Real Betis 4-2 Highlights Video 2012 Goals Messi Sanchez Xavi is a post from Soccer Blogger. Follow Soccer Blogger on Twitter

Barcelona vs Real Betis 4-2 Highlights Video 2012 Goals Messi Sanchez Xavi is a post from Soccer Blogger. Follow Soccer Blogger on Twitter Barcelona vs Real Betis 2012 ( Barca vs Betis 2012 video below) Final score and result:- Barcelona vs Real Betis 4-2 ( Xavi, Messi*2, Sanchez/ Castro, Santa Cruz) Nou Camp, Barcelona- 15 [.

FC Barcelona continued with their winning streak at home in La Liga with a very hard fought 4-2 victory against an inspired Real betis side. The match started very brightly for us going 2-0 up within 12 minute, then turned into a nightmare when Real Betis equalised early into second half.

Please try to read the title of this post in context. Xavi is a good player, what I mean by the title is that he is not as good as FIFA (aka Barcelona's eternal friend) rank or think him to be. Continuing from my Ballon Dor Joke post, I noticed that Xavi has been ranked [...]

Please try to read the title of this post in context. Xavi is a good player, what I mean by the title is that he is not as good as FIFA (aka Barcelona's eternal friend) rank or think him to be. Continuing from my Ballon Dor Joke post, I noticed that Xavi has been ranked [...]

The Tiki Taka Contest: "How many passes, Xavi?"

Two Clásicos in two weeks. It's the Copa del Rey, sure, but it's still a Clásico. Will Barcelona outclass Real Madrid? Well, much of that argument will depend on the performance of Xavi, Barça's metronome in the midfield, and the club's continued mastery of Tiki-Taka football.

The Tiki Taka Contest: "How many passes, Xavi?"

Two Clásicos in two weeks. It's the Copa del Rey, sure, but it's still a Clásico. Will Barcelona outclass Real Madrid? Well, much of that argument will depend on the performance of Xavi, Barça's metronome in the midfield, and the club's continued mastery of Tiki-Taka football.

El equipo ideal del año fue monopolizado por los españoles, que situaron a seis jugadores entre los 11 seleccionados. El llamado "once mundial" quedó compuesto por Iker Casillas en el arco; Dani Alves, Gerard Piqué, Nemanja Vidic y Sergio Ramos en defensa; Andrés Iniesta, Xabi Alonso y Xavi en el centro del campo; Messi, Wayne Rooney y Cristiano Ronaldo en ataque.

Homare Sawa and Lionel Messi won the Women's and Men's Player of the Year awards last night

FIFA's annual awards ceremony took place in Zurich last night and there weren't too many surprises as to who would come top of the main awards of the evening.

It was obvious to all of the world and his dog that Lionel Messi would come to win the Player of the Year award in 2011 following yet another truly successful twelve months with his club FC Barcelona.

By Chris Wright

Given that it was pretty much a forgone conclusion, FIFA took their sweet time in surprising precisely nobody and bestowing Lionel Messi with their World Player of the Year award for the third time on the spin in Switzerland yesterday.

Messi beat Cristiano Ronaldo and Barca teammate Xavi (with whom he vowed to share the award) to the Ballon d'Or and he also went all Noël Coward on our backsides on the night, sporting a rather fetching purple velvet smoking jacket for the occassion just because, y'know, he can.

Iker Casillas
Sergio Ramos, Gerard Pique, Nemanja Vidic, Dani Alves
Andres Iniesta, Xavi, Xabi Alonso
Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Lionel Messi.

"Rooney and Vida In FIFA World XI" was originally published at The Republik of Mancunia.

Forget Lionel Messi, it was all about Homare Sawa's kimono (traditional Japanese costume) at the FIFA Ballon D'or awards in Zurich last night! The captain of the Japanese women's team and winner of the FIFA Women's Ballon d'Or lit up the stage with that outfit which should make her countrymen and women extremely proud today.

El delantero del FC Barcelona Lionel Messi ha sido coronado en Zúrich como mejor futbolista del planeta por tercer año consecutivo, lo que le sitúa a la altura de los delanteros holandeses Johan Cruyff y Marco Van Basten y del centrocampista francés Michel Platini, los únicos que hasta hoy habían conquistado tres Balones de Oro.

Lionel Messi won the FIFA Balon d'OR for the second consecutive time after the inception of the award last year. With this victory he has won the FIFA World Player of Year and Balon d'Or for the third consecutive time. It was a no btainer from the time the three man shortlist was announced.

Las clasificaciones siempre van a dar de que hablar, generan polemica, hasta las que hace la FIFA.
Por eso aquí están los 11 mejores jugadores del año según el máximo mandato en el futbol mundial. Fueron anunciados en la gala del dia de hoy.
Los futbolistas del Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo, Sergio Ramos, Xabi Alonso e Iker Casillas, no viajaron a Zúrich porque mañana enfrentan al Málaga por la Copa del Rey.

Lionel Messi has been named by FIFA as the best player of 2011 for the third straight year. Messi equals Platini, Cruyff and Van Basten, the only players to ever win three Ballon d'Or titles.

Messi took almost 48% of the vote, with Ronaldo second with less than 22% and Xavi was a distant third with just over 9%.