Lighter's Note: This post has nothing to do with Ashley Cole's
private life. Not unless he has been involved with someone from the Bermudan women's cricket team.
However, given recent news reports, this remains a distinct possibility.
Ladies (and the obligatory gentlemen), we at BigFourZa are big fans of women's sport in general
and women in particular.
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The media has touted the ongoing spat between Rafa and Allardyce as childish. Yeah well, damn
the media. I personally love this stuff, and at least it has given me a decent reason to write
another post. As I have already said, Big Sam is one of my most annoying characters in EPL but then
like a Russian Pole-Vaulter he keeps bettering his own records.
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Plenty of talking points in the match against the Rovers and believe me if this was a big four
encounter it would have been discussed to death. To start with, it served as a fantastic homecoming
for Torres and mind you, this wasn't just Torres trying to recover slowly into his previous mould.
This was Torres clearly on a mission trying to make up for all the lost time.
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If u r a rglr readr n u read mah post yday, u wud remembr I made a ref to Cshley n Cheryl as da
worst couple in da wrld. Well, I ws wrng. They arnt a couple nymore. Cheryl dmped Cshley aftr she
fnd a set f fotos of him butt nakd in his Sent Folder.
Despite Cashley's protestations of innocence claiming those vomit inducing photos weren't for
Vanessa Perroncel, her fickle excuse of a mind is apparently made up; which means they are no
longer the worst couple in the world.
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There are only 1411 tigers left in India. And one Tiger trying very hard to increase that
number.
-Carlton Palmer, Footballing Pundit
Why is this here?
-Confused BigFourZa reader.
Answer: To ensure some of our new readers don't take our Carlton Palmer quotes to be real, and
slag us off for quoting Carlton Palmer, of all people!
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Second of all, I told you so. It's second of all because I've already told you so first of all
about the Portsmouth game. The trip to Villa might have been a revenge trip for us, but if
Tarantino (we keep coming back to hm don't we) had seen the way this 'revenge saga ' panned out, he
would've gotten himself one of those swords from Kill Bill and committed Hara Kiri.
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First of all, I told you so. This was bound to happen, especially in the wake of the
Arse-analing from last week. We've had this habit of mothering the bottom 4 clubs at home by
significant margins, and there was enough reason to believe that we'd repeat that today. I mean who
are we kidding, this is a club that is bottom of the table by a clean 6 points.
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After all that noise made about Terry and Vanessa on everything from The Sun to a full final
page feature on the Times of India, the judgment has finally been delivered. No, not by the guy in
the wig in a London court, but by an Italian who is as much an expert on law as the guy in the wig
is on football.
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I know I had said my next few posts would be a tribute to a Mister Tarantino, but I couldn't
resist because I read two things in the papers today that I HAD to comment on.
Let's start off with the most interesting thing that has EVER happened at Chelsea. And
predictably and understandably it has absolutely squat to do with football.
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Futblog 22 January @ 10:58 PM EDT
Cuauhtemoc blanco y Cesar Ares en la copa America del 2007
Vivimos en una latinoamerica suigeneris y si recuerdas la noche del 10 de Diego Armando Maradona en
la televisión argentina, ahora tendremos ¨La hora de Cuauhtemoc Blanco¨ en México.
El morbo vende y como mencionaba antes un periodista ensenadense si Blanco fuera estadounidense
no tendrÃa espacios en los medios y lo hubieran satanizado desde hace tiempo como le esta pasando
a Tiger Woods,(¿o eso si paso?
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See The Cup 18 January @ 08:14 AM EDT
Seriously, I cannot believe this guy. Is the World Cup really the only thing that motivates him
to do what he just did yesterday? Whatever it is... I like it. Watch below all the goals from AC
Milan 4 0 Siena.
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KICKETTE 14 January @ 10:29 AM EDT
It's the last day of our RCA for 2009 and let us say: you all must be exhausted. You've been
voting at an impressive rate. Have some vitamins and let's get to work with a bumper crop of
nominations today.
And as you might have guessed, David Villa's face features in one of them.
- Best "Boys Week" Contribution
- Breaking News of the Year
- Biggest LOL of 2009
- King of all Bitchfaces
- Rookie of the Year
- Biggest WTF of 2009
- Ovary-Exploding Photo of the year
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KICKETTE 14 January @ 10:29 AM EDT
It's the last day of our RCA for 2009 and let us say: you all must be exhausted. You've been
voting at an impressive rate. Have some vitamins and let's get to work with a bumper crop of
nominations today.
And as you might have guessed, David Villa's face features in one of them.
- Best "Boys Week" Contribution
- Breaking News of the Year
- Biggest LOL of 2009
- King of all Bitchfaces
- Rookie of the Year
- Biggest WTF of 2009
- Ovary-Exploding Photo of the year
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Futblog 10 January @ 10:38 PM EDT
Hay noticias curiosas, otras divertidas,extrañas, otras mas importantes y entretenidas en el
mundo del fútbol, pero esta no se en que categorÃa entrarÃa. Ya que me sorprende que Rafael
Marquez antes de un mundial quiera grabar un disco, no se sabe ciertamente cuando lo harÃa, pero
vaya usted a saber que saldrá de esto.
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See The Cup 05 January @ 09:38 AM EDT
A team which cost nearly £65m (without calculating Rooney's present worth using the RMEIPVI)
went down to a team more than 40 places below them in the pecking order of English Football. And
all Fergie could complain about was that there was only 5 minutes of Injury time and virtually no
‘Fergie Time'.
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What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
-Shakespeare after he got smashed watching United cup it.
Unfortunately, I'm no Shakespeare and hence cannot find poetic words and such things to describe
the over-hyped Battle of the Roses which ended in ignominy for the Red Roses.
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No, this is not an article about how much money Citeh are going to throw into the January
Transfer Window. And no again, this is not about Pompey's absent owner Ali Al Faraj (who
incidentally has the nickname Ali Al Mirage because no one is sure he exists really). This is an
article about that terrorist douchebag who tried to bomb that aircraft in the US.
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Dirty Tackle 29 December @ 08:39 PM EDT
Some of you may think that our dear friend Artur Boruc's Friday Rage Lists are just silly
nonsense that the Celtic goalkeeper would never actually say. Well, here is an actual quote from
Artur upon being asked about his New Year resolutions:
"I will quit smoking and I won't drink vodka anymore.
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At times like these it's terribly disappointing to watch Liverpool play with an absolute lack of
purpose. Personally, having defended the team in good spirits through out this blog, I feel way too
cheated by this kind of display. The feeling is a total sense of betrayal. It doesn't really matter
whether Mascherano's sending off was right or wrong.
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After this match if any body says the style of Arsenal football is beautiful or enticing or
whatever niceties and adjectives, bring that guy to me. Seriously, I would rather have him shot
down and spend the rest of my life at prison. It's a disgrace. I am a disgrace myself for being led
into this make belief.
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Ducky's Note : The semester is finally over and Lighter The Pundit, looks back on it in the
same loving way that you look at a half-boil in the sink the day after. So, if what
follows seems self-indulgent, it is.
Oh, and also, being a Stones kinda guy, he finds the excessive Beatles referencing downright
offensive.
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The score line may have read one zip to the home side, but this was one game where even though
we ended up second best, I still ended up with a broad smile on my face at 5 in the morning. (And
no it was not because Liverpool lost AGAIN. At least not just because of that). An inconsequential
game in a tournament of great consequence against an opponent who had everything to play for with
us already having won the group in some style; perfect setting for a Wenger Experiment.
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Futblog 10 December @ 06:08 AM EDT
en pleno partido el portero dijo Orinita vengo!!
El portero aleman
Jens Lehmann podra tener 40 años pero tiene unas ganas
tremendas de jugar el mundial de Sudafrica, pero eso no es la noticia, el asunto aquà es que sigue
dando extrañas notas durante este año que esta a punto de terminar.
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And God said let there be light. Immediately he realized it is not possible because there were
no power plants back then. He then said let there be power plants. He then realized that there was
no one to build, own and operate them. So he said let there be cunts. But then these cunts needed
someone to fuck around with, to get petty photocopying duties done, to write note for approvals, to
get their sons or daughters admitted in Engineering colleges, to just have some plain old
irritating-helpless-creatures fun, to assist in their house shifting, to just about do anything
other than building, owning and operating power plants.
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"Praising John Terry for the win at the bridge is like awarding the Oscar for the
best dialogues to "CAST AWAY". Abstruse, incongruous, inaccurate and so totally
dumb."
                               -         A prominent
dig at keyrock's prominent post
According to an old drunkard, who i met yesterday, breaks are supposed to be used for
relaxation.
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The MLS announced today that the start time for the Western Conference final at Los Angeles will
take place at 10:25 p.m. CST Friday. That's right, 10:25 P.M.! It STARTS at 10:25
p.m. WTF is that all about? Good luck watching that one, East Coast.
I'm guessing the time slot was already reserved prior to Houston's victory over Seattle.
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See The Cup 09 November @ 02:25 PM EDT
Another surprise of Dunga, and not a good one this time. Ramires, injured, will be replaced by
Palermo's Fabio Simplicio in the matches against England and Oman. This just doesn't make
sense.
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Q. What exactly happened here?
A. Darren Fletcher won the ball and Ashley Cole jumped up into the air. Martin
Atkinson promptly scurried across and awarded Chelsea the 'foul'. The rest, as they say, is the
rest of this post.
Q. Was Sir Alex wrong in criticizing the referee?
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1. 'FAT burgers' -- via The Offside
2. 'Swine flu UCL viewers' -- via Dirty Tackle
3. 'Israeli WTF jersey' -- via Unprofessional Foul
4. 'Plymouth Argyle mascot' -- via Who Ate All the Pies?
5. 'Adoring Adriano poster' -- via Futbolita
6. 'Lost in Google translation' -- via The Spoiler
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We are twins, lookalikes. But between us, there is a difference of heaven and earth. I'm the
most celebrated defender at my club, while he's a young upstart. I'm the most uninspiring captain
English football has ever seen, while he's yet to captain any side higher than a reserve
side in the Swiss Third Division.
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Sorry Vishwa. You're the man but still worth a try.
Some say he thinks Alex Ferguson is a swear word. Some say he has a bicycle kick that not even
Iker Casillas would have dared to stop. All we know is, he's called THE AQUAMAN.
- No Sir, not Carlton Parlmer
Sendros is quality I tell you.
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Dirty Tackle 29 October @ 01:13 AM EDT
The following pictures are from two different agencies, but both are of Zidane at the opening of
a watch store in Hong Kong (WTF?). By the framing of the shots, which photographer would you say
thinks more highly of Zizou?
Getty:
AP:
Apparently the AP photographer doesn't think that headbutt in the World Cup final should keep
Zidane from achieving sainthood.
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In light of the fact that United had a Carling Cup tie last night, which was won comfortably
enough, but was overshadowed by a good ol' college-style food-fight, BigFourZa shall not review the
match in protest, to express our solidarity with the 1 Billion people in the world who go hungry
every day (seriously).
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... it's gonna be the Yankees that the Phillies have to put in their place to take the World
Series again. Be there, starting Wednesday night ... as two ex-Cleveland aces go up against each
other in their new(er) uniforms. That's CC vs. Cliff Lee. Let's go, Phillies, you can do it!
And I love hearing that George Will has gone after Dick for his "dithering" comment noting that
a little "dithering" by the Bushies might have been helpful before invading Iraq.
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Since so much has been said about yesterday's game, I'm not going to go too much into it. I just
wanted to say how proud I am of my team. We've been waiting for this win for a long time. It might
just be the group stages, but the biggest criticism of Lyon has been that they've been unable to
defeat a big team away from home.
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MLS Debris 16 October @ 11:10 PM EDT
This week Pepsi introduced an iPhone application called "Amp Up Before You Score" to promote its
competitor to the slew of energy drinks. Its purpose? To give you alleged insider information to
boost you powers of seduction, as well as give you a platform to brag about which women you managed
to get naked.
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No, it's not about the other teams in the Champions League like Uriea Urigniceni and Rubin
Kazan. Though from what I've seen of Rubin Kazan, they could go some distance in Europe, at least
through the Europa League (hard luck for them to be in a group with Barca and Inter. If they'd been
with Arsenal, they would've fancied their chances).
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