My brain is an arsehole. "Just one gigantic whiskey before you go to bed. Go on!"

I need to stop listening to my brain although I'm not sure who I should listen to in that case. I guess it's another reason why I've always been a fan of butlers. "Should I have one gigantic whiskey before I go to bed, Carmichael?

Editor's note: Today, the staff here at PUT woke from a 3 month whiskey and BIMBO brand mini Kaiser roll-induced haze to the realization that face-of-the-franchise, leading scorer and all around exception to French stereotypes Sebastien Le Toux was gone. His side of the closet was empty, his neon boots no longer by the door.

The Super Bowl is right around the corner, so this week we'll be highlighting food and drink recipes to make your Super Bowl party a hit. Today, let's take a look at these recipes from Maker's Mark Bourbon.

Bourbon Apple Glazed Chicken Wings

These tangy sweet wings get the benefit of being braised then baked, no frying involved!

Yesterday I discussed some of the basic roster rules in MLS and how it ties in with the salary cap. Hopefully the swelling in your brain has reduced sufficiently to allow you to move forward with your lessons as I attempt to help you further understand (to the best of our ability), the league's various roster mechanisms.

Sergio knows just how much of a burden being pretty can really be. We're lucky we're so plain. Images via Hola! magazine.

Sergio Ramos and Lara Alvarez were papped being all cutesy in Rome over the holidays cutesy like how Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens used to be during their 'High School Musical' days.

I know Major League Soccer Soccer-dot-com already ran a quick update about this in their new "Rumor Central" feature (which I kind of like, to be honest), but it's the kind of news that we should be reporting here. Trust me, if it weren't for the fact that I'm studying for my Civil Procedure exam and staring longingly at a bottle of whiskey, sleeping pills and a handgun I would have been on top of this the moment it came out.

I write shortly before 3pm, the afternoon after the launch of So Paddy Got Up at the Tollington. My hands still tremble as I type. I've cleaned my teeth three times and had a tactical fry up yet still the sour taste of Wild Turkey trips off my tongue. It really was a pleasure to see so many of you and stop for a beer and a chat.

Video highlights and reaction match report -

Good morning and apologies for the lateness of this particular blog but then *boilk* and nobody should criticise a man who was drinking whiskey at 6.30am. It's just not the done thing.

So, we beat Norwich yesterday to continue our good run of form and winningness, again we have to give thanks and praise to the Lord our Robin for his two goals which sealed the deal.

Signs, signs everywhere the signs of my advancing age; a receding hairline balanced by a protruding gut, drinking wine instead of whiskey, a fine familiarity of the full line of muscle balm products, wheezing to keep up in my Saturday ...
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'What? Nothing to see here folks. Please keep it moving.'

Joining our ever-growing roster of 'Drunk Off Their Ass' listees is Miss Kimberley Mills, girlfriend of Tottenham's David Bentley. Welcome hon!

Mills (plus her beau and Gareth Barry) were just three of the numerous patrons who had to flee London's Whiskey Mist night club Sunday night after a bloody brawl broke out.

ASquared left Mayfair's Colony Club Sunday night following his team's win over Manchester United. He's getting dangerously close to Guti's closet.

We usually make an effort to be understanding of football players' fashion choices, based on their lack of schooling and comprehension of social cues.

Is this the face of a sad, single man?

Many of you have asked, and now we're finally ready to address.

Cesc Fabregas and Carla Dona Garcia: are they or aren't they?

That's a loaded question, to say the least.

We hope we're not naive in thinking that, by now, a majority of you have skimmed/read/looked at the pictures accompanying the first report that 'confirmed' the Arsenal captain's split from his 7-year-long girlfriend (printed by The Sun).

Punter Dan back with his latest installment My only prelude to this weeks bets is to say that it is nearing the end of the month, so to keep me in real ale, whiskey chasers and scampi fries I am going all out. One of my biggest ballaches in football is the way overweight men [...]

Irgendwie dachten wir ja, wir hätten endlich Ruhe mit dem Thema „Schweinegrippe", aber so wie es aussieht haben wir uns da wohl gründlich getäuscht. Das gute an der Sache ist jedoch und das wissen wir schon seit der großen Pandemie vom letzten Jahr, dass die Schweinegrippe nicht so gefährlich ist, wie man am Anfang angenommen [.

Image: Google.hr.

We gotta hand it to the 6'4, silky jet-black haired Croatian man candy: Tottenham's Vedran Ćorluka finally kicked the drunk-off-her-arse-in-public bird to the kerb.

Ćorluka's ex-girlfriend, Iva Buzov, moved out of their London flat and high-tailed it back to Zagreb two months ago.

Oh it's not finished...it's just Finnish. So it's official: America's leading exports are tobacco, civilian aircraft, whiskey, tween stars, hip-hop and goalkeepers. Y'all welcome.