It's amazing how people who've grown up watching and playing this sport can be so bloody ignorant - you kick a ball, at point-blank range, into the guys arm (which is plastered against the side of his body), it's not a freakin' hand-ball! Nor is it a handball when you kick it against someone's arm, when his back is turned and couldn't see it coming!

Alexander Hleb is a real cock; he looks like a pre-pubescent girl, fights like a tranquilized kitten, and has now claimed his main reason for leaving Arsenal is that London is too noisy. Poor sensitive Alex doesn't like our fine capitol because it's full of buildings and people and cars, and there's almost no chance for him to just go into the woods and make daisy chains with his sisters.

You know, it's a pretty bleak state of affairs when people from Russia criticise your country. On paper, they have basically nothing going for them; communist, bursting with nuclear weapons, and covered in freezing snow 99% all the time. Having seen the pasting that Andrei Voronin took earlier this year when he criticised the British way of life, how come Nemanja Vidic also now feels the need to express his displeasure at our fine shores?