AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. STILL BEING INJURED AHHHHHH I STILL CAN'T PLAY AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!! I THINK I'M GOING CROSS EYED AND I'M STARTING TO LOOK LIKE BILL MURRAY IN CADDYSHACK!!!!!!! THIS IS HORRIBLE!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. BEING INJURED I AM SO BORED!!!!!!!! SITTING AROUND THE HOUSE INSTEAD OF BUSTING SKULLS ON THE PITCH HAS FORCED ME TO DO THINGS THAT I WOULD NEVER NORMALLY DO!!!!! LIKE SMILING AND CALMLY LOUNGING ON THE COUCH!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. HALLOWEEN I DECIDED TO BE A MONK FOR HALLOWEEN AGAIN THIS YEAR AND I ASKED MY FRIEND MICHAL ZEWLAKOW TO BE A MONK AGAIN TOO BUT HE SAID WE SHOULD BE MICHAEL JACKSONS AND I SAID "AHHHHHHH BUT I WANT TO BE A MONK!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. WHATEVER THE HELL IS STUCK IN MY TEETH THERE'S SOMETHING STUCK IN MY TEETH AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT!!!!!! I ALSO DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! AHHHHHH IT BETTER NOT BE HYPODERMIC NEEDLE!!!!!!!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. POLAND MISSING THE WORLD CUP THIS WOULD HAVE SUCKED EVEN MORE IF I WAS ACTUALLY STILL ON THE TEAM!!!!!! BUT IT WAS NICE TO SEE THEM SCORE OWN GOALS ON SOMEBODY ELSE FOR A CHANGE!!!!!! PLUS I MIGHT GO TO SOUTH AFRICA NEXT SUMMER ANYWAY JUST TO DIG UP THESE BLOOD DIAMONDS I KEEP HEARING ABOUT!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. LOSING THE OLD FIRM DERBY AHHHHHHHHH WE KEEP LOSING BIG MATCHES AND IT'S HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TRIED YELLING AT MY TEAMMATES TO MAKE THEM STOP DOING THIS TO ME BUT THEIR EARS JUST START BLEEDING AND THEN THEY HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND THEY END UP PLAYING EVEN WORSE AFTER THAT WHICH MAKES ME YELL AT THEM AGAIN AND AHHHHHHHH IT'S A VICIOUS CYCLE THAT WILL NEVER STOP!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. RUSSIAN HOOLIGANS THEY NEED TO LEARN THAT MASSIVE BRAWLS ARE BARBARIC AND STUPID!!!!!!!! I MEAN I DON'T WANT A HUNDRED OTHER IDIOTS GETTING IN THE WAY WHEN I'M OUT THERE TRYING TO KICK AND BITE STREET SIGNS!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. GARY CALDWELL YOU ARE TRULY THE WORST CAPTAIN EVER!!!!!! FIRST YOU SCORED ON ME IN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE THEN YOU ARGUED WITH ME DURING LAST WEEKEND'S MATCH!!!!!! THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE A WORSE TEAM LEADER IS IF YOU GAVE US ALL HERPES AND FORFEITED EVERY MATCH!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. TRYING TO CATCH UP YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME BUT I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO READ THE NEWS ALL WEEK!!!!!!!!!! I SPENT THE FIRST PART OF THE WEEK IN A SULFURIC ACID RELATED COMA AND THEN YESTERDAY I WAS BUSY WATCHING MY BORDERLINE RETARDED DEFENDERS COLLAPSE AND ALLOW TWO LATE GOALS CAUSING CELTIC TO LOSE ANOTHER MATCH IN EUROPE!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. MISSING THE WORLD CUP I HATE MISSING THE WORLD CUP!!!!!!!!! IT'S LIKE MISSING CHRISTMAS AND YOUR BIRTHDAY AND THE DAY YOUR PARENTS LET YOU PLAY WITH BLOW TORCHES ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. ARSENE WENGER'S SHOW HOW CAN YOU GET SENT OFF FOR KICKING A WATER BOTTLE?!?!?!! ONE TIME I FILLED A WATER BOTTLE WITH MILITARY GRADE EXPLOSIVES AND THEN I DRILLED A BABY IN THE HEAD WITH IT AND ALL I GOT WAS A WARNING!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. EDUARDO Ahem. I hope you're reading this, Eduardo. What you did in the match on Wednesday wasn't very nice. Diving is not a very nice thing to do, Eduardo. Especially in a game of that magnitude.

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. OWWWWW I JUST STUBBED MY TOE!!!!! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE CUT IT OFF WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!

2. THE BBC'S SURPRISE TOILET CAM WHEN I'M WATCHING HIGHLIGHTS OF LOWER LEAGUE FOOTBALL THE LAST THING I WANT TO SEE IS AN UNEXPECTED CLIP OF A PRETTY GIRL SITTING ON A TOILET!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. THAT CREEPY LITTLE MUNCHKIN AHHHH ANDREI ARSHAVIN YOUR DISTURBING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND ODD QUOTES ARE ALREADY RAPING MY THOUGHTS AND THE SEASON HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP DOING EVERYTHING YOU DO!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. THESE KIDS OHMYGOD GET THESE KIDS AWAY FROM ME!!!! I JUST CAME OUT HERE TO WRITE MYSELF A NOTE SO I REMEMBER TO BUY FABRIC SOFTENER AND THEY SWARMED ME LIKE OLD WOMEN AT HOT DOG CONVENTION!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. GETAFE'S NEW KITS OHMYGOD THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!! THAT TITLE WAS PREVIOUSLY HELD BY A ONE EYED KITTEN THAT WAS GENTLY PURRING WHILE DRIVING A FORKLIFT RIGHT AT ME IN A DREAM I HAD ONCE!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. FASTEST BRAZILIAN RED CARD AHHHH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! YOU COULDN'T EVEN CONTROL YOURSELF FOR TEN SECONDS BEFORE GETTING SENT OFF?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF PERSON CAN'T CONTAIN THEIR ANGER FOR EVEN A SINGLE MINUTE?

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. FRANCK RIBERY I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR TRANSFER CRAP!!!!! BUT I AM VERY JEALOUS THAT YOU WERE IN A MUSIC VIDEO!!!!! I HAD AN IDEA FOR A MUSIC VIDEO THAT INVOLVED ME PUNCHING THE CAMERA LENS AND SCREAMING FOR FOUR MINUTES STRAIGHT BUT MTV DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THEY TOLD ME TO GET OUT OF THEIR HEATING DUCT BUT I COULDN'T BECAUSE I WAS STUCK AND IT HURT!

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. JULY 4 WHY DO ONLY AMERICANS GET TO SET OFF FIREWORKS ON THIS DAY?!?!?!? I WANT TO BLOW THINGS UP TO!!!!! AHHHH IT'S THE ONE THING I ENJOY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AND EVERY TIME I GO TO CELTIC PARK TO BLOW SOME CRAP UP THEY SHOOT ME FULL OF HORSE TRANQUILIZERS AND TAKE AWAY MY LAND MINES!

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Hello, I'm Mr. Artur Boruc and uh....I took a bunch of rhino sedatives so I'm actually not too angry right now, but....what the hell, here's what made me angry this week:

1. Ice Cream Kid Alright, I'm not going to lie. Smearing ice cream on your face can be fun. I, uh......might do it right now actually.

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AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. ROMANIAN RIOTS IF A FAN EVER CAME ON THE PITCH AND TRIED TO SCORE A GOAL ON ME I WOULD SNAP HIS ANKLES LIKE BREADSTICKS!!!! I WOULD ALSO LECTURE HIM ON THE DANGERS OF INVADING THE PITCH BUT THAT WOULD BE FAR LESS INTERESTING!

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Maybe its just me, but what the hell is going on in MLS so far this year? The highly touted uber-team DC United has been playing more like Derby County recently, and last years MVP Luciano Emilio looks about as dangerous as a wet sponge..........here's some other things that are puzzling MLS fans and happened around MLS this week:
Somebody Break Up The Crew: Honestly nobody saw this coming. Click to continue reading...