Apologies for the title... we couldn't help ourselves.

Much has been made of Cheryl and Ashley Cole's marriage in the press of late. Did Cheryl ever really get over the sick-making extra curriculars? Would Cheryl really decide not to wear her wedding ring because it "clashed" with her outfit?

Apologies for the title... we couldn't help ourselves.

Much has been made of Cheryl and Ashley Cole's marriage in the press of late. Did Cheryl ever really get over the sick-making extra curriculars? Would Cheryl really decide not to wear her wedding ring because it "clashed" with her outfit?

It goes without saying that we completely understand the (somewhat unhealthy) craving of owning a glam and blinding engagement ring from the footballing man of your dreams. Having a high cash value prize to sport on your finger is a lovely way to seperate yourself from those that have to work for a living or clean their own houses.

It goes without saying that we completely understand the (somewhat unhealthy) craving of owning a glam and blinding engagement ring from the footballing man of your dreams. Having a high cash value prize to sport on your finger is a lovely way to seperate yourself from those that have to work for a living or clean their own houses.

Theo Walcott was out for dinner at Langans in Piccadilly last night he looks well-fed and happy.

Interestingly, he doesn't look £140k poorer than the last time we saw him, which is quite a feat. (Yes, we're still going on about it.)
Singer Katy Perry goes for West Ham bootyliciousness.

Theo Walcott was out for dinner at Langans in Piccadilly last night he looks well-fed and happy.

Interestingly, he doesn't look £140k poorer than the last time we saw him, which is quite a feat. (Yes, we're still going on about it.)
Singer Katy Perry goes for West Ham bootyliciousness.

It's a footballer baby boom, Kickettes. They're everywhere. Luckily, they're genetically superior and smell like high interest savings accounts and strawberry yoghurt. Thus, we're all happy.

Here's Lisa Carrick arriving at Old Trafford over the weekend with her and hubby Michael's daughter, Louise.

It's a footballer baby boom, Kickettes. They're everywhere. Luckily, they're genetically superior and smell like high interest savings accounts and strawberry yoghurt. Thus, we're all happy.

Here's Lisa Carrick arriving at Old Trafford over the weekend with her and hubby Michael's daughter, Louise.

Pop singer Jamelia is handing over her WAG Club Membership- her marriage to Walsall's Darren Byfield is headed for divorce.

Although it's the second time Jamelia's had to relinquish her outspoken, anti-WAG crown, sadly, this time seems to be for good.

For those with memories as shotty as ours, the couple once severed ties due to Darren's alleged horizontal tendencies with other ladies but eventually reunited after only one month.

Pop singer Jamelia is handing over her WAG Club Membership- her marriage to Walsall's Darren Byfield is headed for divorce.

Although it's the second time Jamelia's had to relinquish her outspoken, anti-WAG crown, sadly, this time seems to be for good.

For those with memories as shotty as ours, the couple once severed ties due to Darren's alleged horizontal tendencies with other ladies but eventually reunited after only one month.

As we round down our 'Baller Baby Day coverage, we'd like to take a moment to highlight some items you may want to add to your shopping list. We're assuming, of course, that you have several WAG baby showers marked in your diary for attendance?

For example, Nicola McLean, wife of Peterborough Utd player Tom Williams, recently announced that she's four months pregnant with their second child, and Raul's wife Mamen Sanz (above) is having their fifth child and their first girl.

As we wind down our 'Baller Baby Day coverage, we'd like to take a moment to highlight some items you may want to add to your shopping list. We're assuming, of course, that you have several WAG baby showers marked in your diary for attendance?

For example, Nicola McLean, wife of Peterborough Utd player Tom Williams, recently announced that she's four months pregnant with their second child, and Raul's wife Mamen Sanz (above) is having their fifth child and their first girl.

Hospitals across Europe have seen a lot of action over the last seven days. Warm wishes go to the following parents and their family and friends (whom we would hope purchased all the items from their baby registries). Here's a quick update:

Juve keeper Gigi Buffon and his long-time gal Alena Seredova (pictured last month at her 2010 calendar launch) are the proud parents of another healthy baby boy.

Hospitals across Europe have seen a lot of action over the last seven days. Warm wishes go to the following parents and their family and friends (whom we would hope purchased all the items from their baby registries). Here's a quick update:

Juve keeper Gigi Buffon and his long-time gal Alena Seredova (pictured last month at her 2010 calendar launch) are the proud parents of another healthy baby boy.

As we all know, footballer babies are born with high-stakes winning tickets in the genetic lottery.

Not sure whether the DNA of their talented fathers mixed with the boobaliciousness of their mamas and the universal law of wealth equaling happy face is what does it, but it's been well-documented (by us, anyway) that 'baller babies are fantastically delicious.

As we all know, footballer babies are born with high-stakes winning tickets in the genetic lottery.

Not sure whether the DNA of their talented fathers mixed with the boobaliciousness of their mamas and the universal law of wealth equaling happy face is what does it, but it's been well-documented (by us, anyway) that 'baller babies are fantastically delicious.

Let's enjoy a lush trifecta of footballer perfection avec children:

David Beckham with his oldest son Brooklyn at the Lakers game last night. Photo details that make us feel safe and secure: Brooklyn's untied shoelaces and David's chomped on candy apple;

Francesco Totti and his seriously enamoured son Christian.

Let's enjoy a lush trifecta of footballer perfection avec children:

David Beckham with his oldest son Brooklyn at the Lakers game last night. Photo details that make us feel safe and secure: Brooklyn's untied shoelaces and David's chomped-on candy apple;

Francesco Totti and his seriously enamoured son Christian.

She did it!

Manchester United's Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen are the new parents of a healthy little baby boy named Kai Wayne Rooney at 13.45 this afternoon. We've not checked the exact dates, but we're quite sure Coleen was pregnant for several years.

Not possible? Really?

She did it!

Manchester United's Wayne Rooney and his wife Coleen are the new parents of a healthy little baby boy named Kai Wayne Rooney at 13.45 this afternoon. We've not checked the exact dates, but we're quite sure Coleen was pregnant for several years.

Not possible? Really?

Sure, we're in a bit of a tizzy over the incoming Rooney baby, but there's such a huge stack of footballers-and-their-brood news coming down the wire that we've declared today an official 'Baller Baby Day on Kickette.

Coming up: news of WAG pregnancies, new photos of footballers and their genetically (and financially) superior kids and lots of baby announcements.

Sure, we're in a bit of a tizzy over the incoming Rooney baby, but there's such a huge stack of footballers-and-their-brood news coming down the wire that we've declared today an official 'Baller Baby Day on Kickette.

Coming up: news of WAG pregnancies, new photos of footballers and their genetically (and financially) superior kids and lots of baby announcements.

It's on, Kickettes!

And by on, we mean: Coleen Rooney is attempting to remove a 9-day-overdue baby from her womb. Let's all wish her well. She has checked into Liverpool Women's Hospital, and hubby Wayne has missed a training session.

We're sending thoughts, good wishes and many prayers for a safe, easy and pain-free birth.

It's on, Kickettes!

And by on, we mean: Coleen Rooney is attempting to remove a 9-day-overdue baby from her womb. Let's all wish her well. She has checked into Liverpool Women's Hospital, and hubby Wayne has missed a training session.

We're sending thoughts, good wishes and many prayers for a safe, easy and pain-free birth.

What's happening in the ever-fertile area of 'ballers making babies? Here are some quick confirmed and un-confirmed updates:

Thigh-Off fave Sebastian Kehl has become a father for the 2nd time. His son, Luis, now has a little sister named Lani. Mum and baby are doing fine.
A little birdie has told us that Michael Carrick's wife, Lisa is pregnant again she's about 3 months along.

What's happening in the ever-fertile area of 'ballers making babies? Here are some quick confirmed and half-confirmed updates:

Thigh-Off fave Sebastian Kehl has become a father for the 2nd time. His son, Luis, now has a little sister named Leni. Mum and baby are doing fine.
A little birdie has told us that Michael Carrick's wife, Lisa is pregnant again she's about 3 months along.

Four months after birthing a mucho gordito baby, Lorena Bernal pulls the perfect look and life together as if it were easier than elbowing a random out of the way during a sample sale. We've hired her as our new life coach, actually. She has yet to accept our employ.

What's Mikel Arteta's baby mam been up to?

Four months after birthing a mucho gordito baby, Lorena Bernal pulls the perfect look and life together as if it were easier than elbowing a random out of the way during a sample sale. We've hired her as our new life coach, actually. She has yet to accept our employ.

What's Mikel Arteta's baby mam been up to?

You read that correctly. Berba is a papa. His girlfriend Elena gave birth in the early hours of this morning to a little girl.

Mom and baby are doing fine.

Good night all round for Dimi, as he was out on the pitch knocking in three goals for Bulgaria in their World Cup qualifier against Georgia.

You read that correctly. Berba is a papa. His girlfriend Elena gave birth in the early hours of this morning to a little girl.

Mom and baby are doing fine.

Good night all round for Dimi, as he was out on the pitch knocking in three goals for Bulgaria in their World Cup qualifier against Georgia.

Coleen Rooney not only pledged to have her baby (due anytime now) naturally, but says she's doing it on the National Health Service rather than privately. For those unfamiliar with the thrill of sitting in an NHS hospital waiting room with broken-nose drunks, chicken-bone-stuck-in-the-throat drunks and other such injured-due-to-intoxication drunks, this is a truly noble quest.

Coleen Rooney has not only pledged to have her baby (due anytime now) naturally, but also says she's doing it on the National Health Service rather than privately. For those unfamiliar with the thrill of sitting in an NHS hospital waiting room with broken-nose drunks, chicken-bone-stuck-in-the-throat drunks and other such injured-due-to-intoxication drunks, this is a truly noble quest.

The PR team in charge of WAG reputations has been hard at work recently.
Diamonds/flowers/hand-crafted poems are so 2008. This is a true expression of love.
Surely now there's no reason England wouldn't be given the 2018 World Cup.

The PR team in charge of WAG reputations has been hard at work recently.
Diamonds/flowers/hand-crafted poems are so 2008. This is a true expression of love.
Surely now there's no reason England wouldn't be given the 2018 World Cup.

Manchester United's Michael Owen is going to become a father for the fourth time.

What's there to say: we all must bow down to his reproductive prowess.

Louise is a few months along and the baby is due in early March 2010. If you're not familiar with Mrs. Owen, she's a horse lover (much like her hubby), keeps out of the WAGtastic limelight, and she just keeps looking better and better after every baby.