By Chris Wright

Nicklas Bendtner has been caught on camera in his native Denmark, (reportedly) drunkenly stumbling into a takeaway after a night out in Copenhagen in search of pizza, only to find himself sans cash.

So far you can empathise with young Nicky, right?

*boilk*

There are very few times I get up of a morning and wish I didn't have to write a blog. It would be fair to say today is one of those times. Not so much from the writing, although every clack of the keyboard, which isn't an especially clacky keyboard, is like Thor smashing at my uterus with a hammer.

By Chris Wright

Getafe aren't exactly averse to embracing the wierd and wonderful in their attempts to flog match tickets, indeed we've seen fans lay eggs and koalas commit suicide before thanks to the Spanish club.

Therefore, you'll be glad to know that their latest NSFW attempt to shill their wares ploughs a similar furrow what with it containing a group trip to the sperm back, a Getafe-themed zombie lesbian porn video and the haunting image of a sperm cell fertilising the club's badge.

Thought I'd give everyone some general updates during this interlull that we are all currently enjoying. I'm sure Martin would give some more updates, but he is preparing himself for a weekend boozefest, so you'll be seeing a lot of me around.

First of all, Bendtner is injured. Yay!