Related: Phillip Schofield pretends Christine Bleakley farted.
Image: People.com.
Representing for non-oft mentioned WAGs on Kickette, here's the wife of Fox Soccer Channel's
Kyle Martino, Eva Amurri Martino.
Eva, an actress, was posing in a Neiman Marcus shoot alongside her mother, Susan Sarandon, for
the retailer's new "Art of Fashion" campaign.
Image via ParentDish.co.uk.
Little Harper Beckham did the unthinkable at JFK airport this afternoon on her mum (who handled
the well-timed paparazzi invasion like the seasoned pro that she is).
Out of all the cute kids in this familial clique, she's the one to watch, Kickettes.
Sometimes we have to sit back and think: we're changing the world with our intellectually
challenging, life changing reportage on key events happening around the globe.
Where there's subtle product shilling and grammatically correct Tweets on social media, you know
there's a shameless publicity stunt just 'round the bend, Kickettes. And for you today we have one
of the promo shots starring none other than Mrs Peter Crouch for the launch of Lynx Attract For
Her.
Good heavens. We hope you warmed your hands first, Sami! Images via gq-magazin.de.
Avert your eyes, Kickettes! We haven't revealed this much flesh on the site in one go since Tim
Howard was kind enough to get his nekkid on for ESPN, and our server collapsed under the weight of
our rampant lust.
Image: Sport.es.
Because our inboxes are blazing with "friendly" reminder e-mails concerning all the footy
birthdays we failed to mention, we've been peer pressured into doing it now.
Happy Birthday to them:
- Not only do Gerard Pique & Shakira share saliva, they also share the same birth date (albeit
10 years apart he turned 25 while she reached 35 on 2 February).
Last time we checked, wearing hair rollers in public was a "Don't" in most sensible ladies'
books.
Well thanks to a recently misinterpreted decree from Vogue, the British press is now
claiming that the baffling, mind-boggling and completely WAG-like trend of wearing hair rollers
whilst out and about is now in fashion.
While staring at this photo of two Borussia Dortmund boys and their WAGs at a post-fashion show
party in honour of sweets and other high carb/high sugar delights, we were struck by one undeniable
truth: shop assistants lie. Oh, how they lie.
They lie to the innocent and cash-rich when they tell them, "Why yes, Mr Kehl, Palm Beach suits
are going to be huuuge this Spring.
Images: EkstraBladet.dk.
Top of the morning to ya, Kickettes!
Hope you had a nice weekend filled with treats of the alcoholic and 'baller varieties.
Saturday
- Nicklas Bendtner brought his two favourite females a pet snake and his rumoured new girlfriend
to the launch of "NB Jewellery" where his first collection, "N3," was presented.
As bromances go, we can't say we expected this. But ya know what? It might just be mad enough to
work... Image: REUTERS/Eddie Keogh.
It's past 5 o'clock somewhere, Kickettes.
Consider that an explanation for our poor spelling, lack of coherence and just about anything
else that's horribly wrong after the jump.
We're quite certain this falls into the "breaking news" category, but we'll be damned if we put
the effort into Googling the amount of times a 'baller has been seen with his sweetie at Cricket.
For as long as we've been spouting nonsense and abalicious photos, it's never happened.
Perhaps Charlie's fiancée fancied herself a pair of limited edition Ruthie Davis hi-tops with
signature spikes, something she's been recently lusting over on Twitter.
On the left is Sylvie van der Vaart; on the right is a Barbie in her likeness. Or maybe that's the
other way around. Images via @rafvdvaart
It was only a matter of time before the living Barbie became a real Barbie, wasn't it?
Proud husband Rafael tweeted some pics of the Sylvie Barbie that was unveiled at a toy fair in
Germany today.
Images taken September 2011 in Madrid.
After seeing the latest pics of Xabi Alonso and wifey Nagore shopping at D&G in Madrid, we got
to thinking: have we ever seen Ane Alonso?
Okay, we have. Once. But have we ever seen Ane Alonso as a toddler?
We thought not, which is why we're donating a hi-res version of her to your desktop files and
Tumblr accounts now, Kickettes.
Kickettes, do you recall the veiled threat we (and many, many other members of the media)
received from legal firm, Schillings, on behalf of their clients, the Gerrards, requesting privacy
from the paps whilst out with their kids?
If not, read about it here.
Well recently, and as we rightly predicted, Lourdes made her grand entrance into the public
world via the same pages that pay Alex for her brainless ramblings, which OK!
Click here to view the embedded video.
Ekanga Amia of Equatorial Guinea shows the world why the Academy were so wrong to overlook him in
the Oscar shortlist. His side went on to beat Senegal 2-1 in the Africa Cup of Nations on
Wednesday.
The day isn't close to being done but we're so giddy about today's preparedness that we're
willing to share our Good Week/Bad Week update with you all early.
Image via lavozlibre.com.
Tattooist Leo Millares (above left) is a man who spends too much time with his hands on
footballer flesh for our liking. His latest work, posted on Twitter before the ink had even dried,
is a set of replica pooch prints on the tummies of Guti and his lady love Romina Belluscio.
Images: Bellazon; FameFlynet Pictures; Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images Europe.
We've seen all three wear much more exciting ensembles than these, but yet, they all look very
normal for a change. Tired, slightly annoyed even, but otherwise very normal.
Sara Carbonero's signature street style seems to fall in line with a "longer + looser = better"
mantra, which we can identify with on most Saturdays and Sundays.
Image: Newscom.
If rumours are to be believed, an explicit video of the Colombian pop singer "performing"
lullabies on her Barcelona man exists.
According to TV Notas, a former employee of Shakira's did the filming duties for the
couple (Ed. Note: huh?!), and if Pique's woman doesn't pay up, the video will be released.
Images: Replay Jeans.
We've been slow to post on the pics doing the rounds of Irina Shayk's Autumn/Winter 2012
campaign for Replay Jeans. Reason being we're conflicted.
Yes, Irina's topless. We can obviously see that. But she's also wearing fingerless
gloves in various colours and textures.
Image: Blic Online. Cheers to @IvaNedic for the tip.
It's never a good time for a wife and girlfriend jealously break, per say, but take a reprieve
from our usual raucous raciness we shall anyway.
C'mon and join us. It'll be fun.
Nemanja & Ana Vidic
Following in the steps of his Manchester United team-mate, Rio Ferdinand, and his wife, Rebecca,
Nemanja and Ana Vidic were asked to join Wythenshawe Hospital in South Manchester's staff re-open
their newly renovated maternity ward last Friday.
Images: ONTD_Football.
Victoria Beckham, sole provider of Harper Seven's ridiculous wardrobe, covers the March 2012
edition of Numero Tokyo in a to-die-for turquoise leather trench.
To put things into perspective, this was the "highlight" of our weekends.
Saturday
- Former Paraguay striker, Salvador Cabanas, made his triumphant return to professional
football, two years after nearly dying from a gun shot to the head that's fragments are still
partially lodged in his skull.
Oh it's happening, Kickettes. And it will be starring a real live WAG.
Jessica Lawlor, girlfriend of Aston Villa's Stephen Ireland confirmed on Twitter this morning
that she will have a role in WAG! The Musical. Jess added,
In my role I am simply making fun out of the pre conception that ppl have formed of 'WAGS'.
Although we realise this 'look' probably wasn't by her choice, Sami Khedira's model/WAG, Lena
Gercke, walked the runway at Rebekka Ruetz's Autumn/Winter 2012 fashion show with two of the most
terrifying Scouse Brows we've ever seen. Make them stop, Kickettes. We're begging you. Image:
Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images Europe.
Mario Gomez with girlfriend, Silvia Meichel. Images: Sky Germany.
Last Friday, the Bayern Munich 'ballers of past and present turned up to celebrate club legend
Uli Hoeness' 60th birthday at an open bar party. Present were Mario Gomez and his girlfriend,
Silvia Meichel. Isn't she just a breath of fresh-faced, normal air, Kickettes?
Image: Leo Pix.
We've come across some potentially juicy stuff relating to the new coupling of Kevin-Prince
Boateng and Melissa Satta, most of which you'll want to read and judge for yourselves.
There's both facts and falsehoods to sift through here, so a bulleted list it is.
The Backstory
- K-P married his long term girlfriend, Jennifer, two days after signing with Tottenham Hotspur
in '07.
Do you loff Helen's dress as much as we do? Images via Dave M. Benett/Getty Images Europe and
Style.com.
Just tweak, tweakin' the hair. Images via Divinity.
He scores lots of goals and lets Jose Mourinho ride him like a pony, but that's pretty much all
we ever knew about Real Madrid's 24-year-old headline stealer.
Recently opening up in an interview, Callejón revealed that his bestie in the locker room is
none other than The Ramos™.
Image: Photo by Scott Heavey/Getty Images.
FIFA Women's Player of the Year award finalist, Abby Wambach, walked into the FIFA Gala in
Zurich last Monday virtually unnoticed by fans, cameramen, paparazzi and most other
bystanders.
How come, you ask?
"Unfortunately I strolled in right after Shakira.
We never thought we'd see Joey Barton successfully accessorising a mauve pram with matching shoes.
Anything is possible in this world, Kickettes. Image via twitter.
It's been a week of political posturing, professional problems and puffy faces at Kickette.
And that's just the staff.
Robin van Persie, wife Bouchra and their two kids paid a visit to Diego Maradona and club Al Wasl
in Dubai over the holidays. Image via Twitter.
Unlike some of our other more classic side eye examples of disgust and disregard, Robin van
Persie's son is going for a more intense "bubba on the edge" vibe.
Christine Bleakley is seen leaving the ITV studios with Frank Lampard and his kids, 04/01/2012.
First she was a hit, but now she's supposedly on thin ice with her new employers. Well that
didn't take very long now did it?
But why has Christine Bleakely fallen so quickly out of favour with the general viewing
public?
Sergio knows just how much of a burden being pretty can really be. We're lucky we're so plain.
Images via Hola! magazine.
Sergio Ramos and Lara Alvarez were papped being all cutesy in Rome over the holidays cutesy like
how Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens used to be during their 'High School Musical' days.
Schalke 04 midfielder Jermaine Jones, pictured above heading into Boa Steakhouse for a bite on
26.12.2011, has been suspended for eight weeks after the American was charged with intentionally
stepping on an opponent's injured foot. After first saying it intended to appeal, the club decided
to accept the penalty instead.
When it comes to flying first class in casual clothes, there were three distinct themes that a
few Barcelona 'ballers and their WAGs abided by during the all important procession in front of the
paps this morning.
Options for you to pick from are below, with the question being: which of these couples' looks
best describes your own airport arrival style?
Images: Getty Images.
In a story heading straight for our 'hell no' files, 27-year-old Liverpool winger and England
international, Stewart Downing, was arrested on suspicion of assault early Sunday morning following
an altercation with a supposed ex-girlfriend (rumoured to be Donna the doorstep dramatist
Moloney) at the Cross Keys pub near Middlesborough.
Click here to view the embedded video.
We're quite proud of ourselves this week. Despite over-indulging a touch during the holidays, we
still managed to bring the goods to the table. They included David Beckham in a state of undress,
Demba Ba's favourite snack item, the Football Power Couple of the Year results and a thorough
examination of aesthetic prejudices in football.
Nicola McLean
(l) and Natasha Giggs entered the Celebrity Big Brother house last night.
Reports that Elstree ambient air temperatures plummeted around the same time cannot be confirmed.
Images: Getty Images/Daylife.
Our snark radar snapped into high alert last night when it was revealed that Natasha Giggs and
Nicola McLean would be appearing in the UK Celebrity Big Brother house.
Congrats to Sevilla striker and Spanish international, Alvaro Negredo, who took advantage of the
winter holidays to wed his girlfriend Clara Tapia at the El Salvador church in Sevilla. The bride
looked beautiful in her dress with a gorgeous lace veil and the groom looked incredibly hot, which
is really unfair since he's officially off the market.
Congrats (and Happy Belated B-day to the most Gingerific man in La Liga) you crazy kids! Image
Credit: Vanitatis.com.
While the global footy community is full of hot and heavy, high profile relationships, not all
of them are as wonderful and easy going for us to cover as Xabi and Nagore's is.
Bojan Krkic was all but mauled by a Kickette Soldier girl at his book signing last week.
We're beyond proud.
Saturday
- Chelsea FC owner and Russian bajillionaire, Roman Abromovich, spared no expense for his New
Year's Eve party in St Bart's.
