I've got some more shwag to give away so get your random information skills together. In the clip above Cobi Jones is seen at SafeCo Field in Seattle...why is he there? The first person to email the correct answer to that question to TheOffsideRules [at] Gmail.com wins a copy of Gamebreakers AND The History of MLS Cup on DVD.

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Yep, as promised, U.S. international Jonathan Spector becomes the first guest Top 5 Lister in NSC history... wow, when I say it like that, it sounds really important. And so it is. I was all set to drop my own "Top 5 Summer Transfer Winners" when the West Ham defender submitted his picks for the wiliest, craftiest handfuls he's ever had the chance to square up against in competition. Click to continue reading...

Not to be left standing with their d*ck in their hands, Vancouver Whitecaps have made the next move in the Pacific Northwest MLS Expansion Death Race 3000™. One day after Portland fired it's shot across the bow, they launched a two-pronged attack today on both the world-wide web and, as seen above, British Columbian morning television. Click to continue reading...

The wife comes from a Ford family so when it comes to automobiles I should encourage you to buy American. Last week we bought a VW though and since they spend their sponsorship dollars with MLS I'm good with them. But damn if Nissan's dual appeal to both the footie fan and daredevil in me doesn't have me feeling a bit of buyers remorse. Click to continue reading...

Hopkins seems to think so. I'll back him up and say Sigi's the front-runner but only if the Notorious P.I.E. grabs the mic strong during his acceptance speech and belts out "The Warning" to the astonished and appalled crowd. Do that and I'm down for life. You can watch the clip below and cast your own vote. Click to continue reading...

So after more than a year of distribution delays, Goal 2: Living the Dream is now in North American theaters. A few of the boys from Toronto FC attended the Canadian premiere, which was recorded for posterity by TFCtv.

If you're interested in seeing this one, good luck; it seems to only be showing in Canada, California, Illinois, Arizona, Texas, Kansas and Vegas so you might need to cash in some of those frequent flier miles you've been hanging on to. Click to continue reading...

So Napoli ‘fans' are banned from away trips until 2009/10 after they smashed up a train and assaulted Italian railroad staff en route to their first road game of the season at Roma. While Italian police believe the violence is being orchestrated by Italy's mafiosi, FIGC President Giancarlo Abete spoke of the need to "eradicate the groups of delinquents who are polluting the world of football. Click to continue reading...

I used to know a thing or two about women. But then I got married and am now coming to the scary, scary, scary realization that I may not know as much as I once thought I did.

But I do know this. Women DO NOT have this fantasy. They also do not have the one below...unless they have a thing for men whose hair is so bleached that the sun won't look into it for fear of blindness. Click to continue reading...

Believe it or not I just watched Top Gun on Monday. If you were an American male between the age of 10 and 22 when that movie came out it was the greatest story ever committed to film. We talked about the KC Wizards remix of the film a while back and now that I've seen this test footage, I think I'm feeling some Oscar buzz. Click to continue reading...

Fast, but now a shade less than furious... #1 - Let's begin with weekend American goalscorers, shall we? Let's all say it together, now: Charlie Davies can't stop scoring! Sadly, his ninth of the season (media player link) came in a 5-1 loss to Helsingborgs. Nevertheless, CD currently sits third in the Allsvenskan goal chart, one goal and slot behind Helsingborgs star Henrik Larsson. Click to continue reading...

GolTV's color commentator Ray Hudson poetically dissects Borussia Mönchengladbach's victory over Werder Bremen and Bayern Munich's impressive return to form. Click to continue reading...

It's the last day on summer kids, make it the most of it. And if you're cookin' out or BBQing, be sure to pop a cold one for your people in Louisiana who are dealing with matters a little more pressing than "should I start with a burger or a hot dog?". May the God of your choice bless them. Click to continue reading...

Quiet, unassuming Paul Scholes flexed his ego in the European Super Cup final with his own version of the Hand of God. Unfortunately, Scholes' volleyball-esque goal would have been chalked off by even the most short-sighted of match officials. And because it was deliberate handball he got booked, which was his second booking of the match. Click to continue reading...

I guess Alexander Baumjohann's impressive solo-run starting within his own half of the field would be even more impressive, if he had scored it against the defense of one of the seventeen Bundesliga sides not coached by Thomas Schaaf. Baumjohann is 21 years old and joined Borussia Mönchengladbach back in 2006 from Schalke. Click to continue reading...

Good morning America. In lieu of an ESPN match last night, Real Salt Lake and the Colorado Rapids are offering a make-good match tonight for the soccer deprived. The soccer deprived with Direct Kick that is (membership has it's privledges). Or if you want to watch the games on your computer, the remainder of the season can be purchased on MLSlive for the sale price of $9. Click to continue reading...

From Joe Cannon's humorus blog on the 'Quakes website:

"Beating the best team in MLS by four goals, along with a full moon created a weird night out at Buck Shaw. (We really should rename the new stadium when we play there...the house that Joe Cannon built sounds wonderful huh? Click to continue reading...

As if often the case, this edition will be updated through the day... #1 - Gooch... Standard... Bravo! If coach Boloni had replaced one of his tiring wingbacks, they may have made it to penalties. My hats off to you boys. Good luck to Standard with all the offers I'm sure their about to receive for Onyewu, Defour, Felliani, Mbokani, Espinoza, Marcos, Dalmat, Witsel. Click to continue reading...

....is not the new title for Greg & my efforts, by the way! US strikers squared up in the Welsh capital on Tuesday as Eddie Johnson's Cardiff City topped Jemal Johnson's Milton Keynes Dons 2-1 in the League Cup. 6,334 witnessed Eddie's Bluebirds debut at Ninian Park. Jemal was born in New Jersey but like Zak Whitbread, lost his American accent long ago and is now indistinguishable from the Click to continue reading...

Business up front, party in the back; Argies live by the mullet's raison d'etre. Click to continue reading...

Allen Hopkins points out two things in this clip that really do make you think "WTF?". The first is how is LA not scoring of Becks corners? Is it that he's serving up weak-sauce, his teammates not knowing what to do with ass this good or have the league's other teams actually found a way to stop Goldenballs? Click to continue reading...

"We need to go in relaxsched, we need to go in with also belief." What? Steve McClaren's fake Dutch accent is on the go again. This guy is such a plonker. The accent is bad enough (there are loads of annoying people who accidentally imitate the accents of those they talk to), but to start rearranging your syntax. Click to continue reading...

Wrexham striker Jefferson Louis scores a lovely goal in his side's victory over Altrincham. He is substituted before the end and obliges the pitchside reporter with a frank analysis of why he came off. A little too frank for Setanta Sports' liking! This is the television gods punishing those who think it is acceptable to break away from the match to interview someone during the game. Click to continue reading...

Clips of Hamed Diallo's hattrick against the Seattle Sounders
First goal
Second goal
Third goal
These and other video clips courtesy of USL Live / PlayOn! Sports are also available through iTunes via the RailHawks Underground podcast. Click to continue reading...

(Summary is not available.) Click to continue reading...

Just look at Avia keeper Eduardo Martini frantically weighing up his options. He eventually settles on belting it as hard as he can, and I bet he is glad he did now. One of those bizarre kicks of the turf and a loop over the Parana keeper later, and Eduardo is a goalscoring hero. Click to continue reading...