Through the Looking Glass


Standard Chartered Keep Suarezgate Alive, and Other Monday Notes

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Evra's hand moved back and to the left. Back. And to the left. Theres no way that happens naturally. No way that happens if you're only dealing with Suarez in front of him. Which can only mean one thing: There was a second man behind the grassy knoll. And the FA don't want you to know about it...

Steve Gerrard, Agent Fees, and Rambling Incoherencies

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Try the cocaine, it's delicious.

There's something seriously wrong with the word "Wednesday," but I suppose that's neither here nor there, so let's see what's in the news today. Oh, look, live4liverpool has an article titled Suso: The Reason for my Nickname. Let's see what the content of the article is, shall we?

Tuesdays With Roy

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"Today I thought all of the back four's performances were pretty nigh on perfect," he says. "West Ham didn't have their first headed chance until the 91st minute, but that was really the only time in the game I thought we looked like conceding a goal."

"Okay, I'll grant you that," I say, "but I don't know how much that had to do with Liverpool.

Thursday Miscellany

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With the games coming fast and furious this week and a hugely disappointing show put on yesterday one might expect a great deal being talked about involving Liverpool. Which of course means that everybody is busy staring at the bottom of their pint and feeling vaguely surly and disinterested. Still, there's always something or other floating out in the tubes somewhere, so let's get on with your Thursday links and whatnot, brought to you as always by Nicholas Cage's killer pornstache.

Tuesdays With Roy

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"I'm beginning," he says, "to realise there is grit in the team as the wins against Blackburn and Bolton show we are capable of standing up to the test."

"Well sure," I say, "but with the way most of these players used to be comeback kids in that almost there season, I'd have thought it was obvious?

Roy Gets Something Right and Friday Cache Clearing

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Foreshadowing: feel the randomosity.
And the foreshadowing.
But it still won't make sense later.

Roy Hodgson didn't start out too well with his post-Napoli comments, giving us more of the same. Every performance positive, point wonderful, and opponent difficult. Even if the opponent respected the shirt like this was a Liverpool side in Europe two years ago and so played even more tentatively than we did.

Special Features

Tea and Crumpets with All Action No Plot

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Things did not go quite as planned. A comfortable chat with a local blogger, some food, some laughs, some puzzled stares into space it all seemed likely to go as per usual. That is until plans fell through and I found myself scouring the globe for a fix. I had told myself I would stay away, but the draw was simply too strong to be denied, and though my efforts led to a spot in my bookmarks for one superlative Spurs site my various skulking and lurking activities also led to my current predicament as guest of All Action No Plot at their imposing corporate headquarters.

Tea and Crumpets with the Everton Offside

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With the smashing adequacy of our recent encounter with The Blackpool Offside fresh in the memory, we decided to sit down for a chat with our Evertonian counterpart over a fitting full English of suasage, bacon, hash brows, beans, black pudding the works. Ed and Everton Offside Chris stuck to Earl Grey and whole wheat, Ed with a bit of tomato rubbed on as is the way in Spain.

Roy Hodgson

Tuesdays With Roy

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"We didn't deserve to win the game," he says.

"You're preaching to the converted," I say, taking a deep breath and looking down at my hands, swirling my drink nervously. "And you know, I wanted so badly to give you a chance. To give you the benefit of the doubt."

"We looked tired today and I don't think our passing was anywhere near as good as we expected it to be.

Hitler to Hodgson: Go Do One

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It had to happen sooner or later. Was inevitable, really. Even if using Hitler's meme-tastic fit of rage in Downfall as a vehicle for expressing the rage-tastic rage many Liverpool supporters feel about Hodgson's showing as manager doesn't entirely make sense. Good thing I'm not wedded to the idea of things making sense, then.

The Rest

Gerrard and Agger Fit, More on Rafa, and Other Thursday Notes

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It's a hat. Look at it. Look. At. It.

Yippee ki yay, it's almost time for uncomfortable conversations with in-laws or morosely sitting and wishing you had in-laws to have uncomfortable conversations with. Either way, the liquor companies win. And meanwhile nobody knows what the hell is going on with the Boxing Day match against the Seasiders, stuck as they are by the blustery North Sea or Black Sea or Salton Sea or whatever.

Poulsen’s Progress

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**It's a long stretch between matches this week, and there's only so much time we can spend talking about the manager before losing our minds entirely, so in an attempt to spin content out of pocket lint you get a little insight into the relationship between Christian Poulsen and his glorious golden hair.

Waiting for Hodgson

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The pink headed bird is supposed
to be Jamie Carragher. I think.

There's nothing to be done. I've given up again.

Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes. It's awful.

I watch a man step forward, acres of space surrounding him, green unbroken to the horizon. He pauses, looks ahead.

The Liverpool Offside: #1 in October, #1 in your Hearts

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Seeing the stars come out over the Sahara, watching sea lions frolic off the Oregon coast, or "recovering" the secrets handcuffed to a courier's wrist while speeding though the Siberian winter on the Trans-Mongolian, I never dreamed that one day I could be part of the number one blog on The Offside.