The Weekly Fit

Serie A

Midweek Manpile: AC Siena

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Image: Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images Europe.

Modern GQMF Men: AS Roma For Philipp Plein

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H/T @Di_Elle. Italian 'ballers getting dressed in black and white excites us more than German 'ballers in three piece suits. And, rightfully so.

Guilty Of Looking Good: Claudio Marchisio

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Image:Liverani/Tuttosport.

The Friday Fit: Luca Toni’s Chest Hair In A Hot Tub With A Swirly Fruit Straw

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Related: Toni rejoins Fiorentina. Image: Google.

AS Roma: Aquatic Acrobats

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Cheers for the tip, Joe P! Set to one of the most ear piercingly bad soundtracks on planet Earth, here's AS Roma's first team shirtless in a man-made lake. Or something like that. And here's more pictures to prove it really happened. Damn watermarks.

Player News and Rumors

Yoann Gourcuff: Don’t Think, Just Watch

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Image:Canal + Sport. In the must-see documentary of the year, Yoann Gourcuff wades in a pool in between showing off his side profile prowess. Yes, that actually happened and yes, it was all caught on camera in last month's Intérieur Sport TV interview (download here). All of it is rather amazing, Kickettes.

Photo Call: Pablo Osvaldo For GQ Italia

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Image: GQ Italia. Osvaldo avec professional stylist = a thing of unparalleled beauty. Osvaldo sans professional stylist = us in denial and requiring therapy.

United States

Tuesday Torso: Joshua Gatt, Molde FK

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Blurry Image: Gatt's Twitter.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Image via Tumblr. The wonderful world of footy is chock-full of salacious gossip lately so let's hop right to it. Saturday Portland, Oregon was described as 'the US town who is fanatical about football' by the BBC.Go Portlandia! [BBC] Did Frankie Sandford get a boob job? While Frankie is likely to deny the rumours, it [.

Lance Parker: Cosmo’s Oklahoma Bachelor Of The Year 2012

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Whether it'sproduct shilling,exposing torsos for our perving pleasure or whispering sweet nothings in our ears, American footballers have been versatile contributors to the Cosmo Bachelor of the Year pantheon. None more so than the abs-olutely decadent Lance Parker, who we are thrilled to learn has been nominated as this year's hottest unattached male from Oklahoma.

English Premier League

Edin Dzeko: Exercise For Sanity & Vanity

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Image: Getty Images. This face is in serious need of deciphering via captions, Kickettes. Will you do the honours?

The Thursday Thigh: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Arsenal

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Image: Julian Finney/Getty Images Europe. It's not quite up there with Gonzalo Higuain's effort earlier this week, but still, give the dude credit for trying.

The Friday Fit: Jack Rodwell

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Related: Davide Moyes Insists Jack Rodwell Deal To Manchester City Was Right For Everton. Image:Â Paul Thomas/Getty Images.

The Friday Fit: Thomas Vermaelen, Arsenal

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Image: Ed Jones/AFP/GettyImages. You'd think he'd have the decency to wear some sort of disguise to hide his hawt, wouldn't you? Our fantasy muscles are still undergoing extensive physio after this news broke.

Olivier Giroud: Has No Naked Shame

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UPDATE 1: These pics are old, as @SianMacalarny pointed out to us. Whatever. They're still glorious. UPDATE 2: These pics crashed our servers (so maybe they're new to others as well), but we're good as gold now. If problems persist for you, drop us a line. Your eyes are about to become the widest they've ever [.

World Cup

Midweek Mmm: Mario Balotelli

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Image:Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe. When others zig, you zag. When a friend buys a Ford Focus, you get a Rolls Royce and airbrush a picture of your kids on the bonnet. When colleagues ask for "the usual" at the hair salon, you request a hybrid of cornrows and a Mohawk in all the colours of [..

Midweek Mmm: Aaron Ramsey, Wales

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Ecuador NT: Salsa Dancing In A Jacuzzi

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Cheers for the tip, NL! Watching topless 'ballers moving and grooving in a confined watery space to celebrate a teammate's birthday is plain awesome. Don't just take our word for it, Kickettes. Watch and see for yourselves.

La Liga

Tuesday Torso: Sweaty/Distracted/Possibly Nose Picking ‘Baller From Valencia CF

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A little help with a name here, Kickettes? Image:Manuel Queimadelos Alonso/Getty Images Europe.

The Tuesday Trembler: Gonzalo Higuain

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We have one thing to say: sad!lf@kj}as;dl#kg*jo^wei. Image: Dennis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.

Cristiano Ronaldo: He’s Sexy & He Knows it

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(Summary is not available.)

Australia

The Friday Fringe: Hagi Gligor, Sydney FC

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Image: Mark Kolbe/Getty Images AsiaPac. Forgive him. He's only nine in Kickette Years and knows not what he does. But each and every one of us has a solemn duty to keep him the hell away from fellow fringe freedom fighter Neymar. Pinkie swear?

The Midweek Mmm: Alessandro Del Piero, Sydney FC

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Image: Brendon Thorne/Getty Images AsiaPac. If ADP thought that turning 37 and moving to Australia were going to stop us getting right up in his personal space, the next few months are going to be tremendously disappointing for him. Our stalking teams have been perusing for pretty in that part of the world for some [.

getty images

The Monday Mmm: Andrea Pirlo, Italy

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Experience counts for an awful lot, y'know. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

Monday Mmm: Falcao, Atletico Madrid

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Image: Handout/Getty Images Europe. Oh, Falcao. Just when we had forgotten you existed, you return to our minds like a bat outta bin liners. We've missed you and your abs, mtate. Hopefully our paths will cross again soon.

Midweek Mmm: Dimitar Berbatov

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Those 'hearts' strategically placed behind Berba's back weren't our doing. But we'll take full credit for them anyway! Image: Getty Images; taken during MUFC's July 2012 tour.

reuters

Bank Holiday Hotness: Cristiano Ronaldo

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Image: REUTERS/Juan Medina. Enjoy the bank holiday everyone, we're off to get drunk.

The Tuesday Torso: Andrew Little, Rangers

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SPL standard abs in the Scottish third division? Not for long, we suspect. Image:Â REUTERS/David Moir.

The Tuesday Torso: Edinson Cavani, Uruguay

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Image:Â REUTERS/Eddie Keogh, AP Photo/Matilde Campodonico. Anyone near our offices who may have just heard that loud pop, it definitely wasn't us opening a bottle of bubbly and swigging champs straight from the source. Probably had something to do with the, er, Olympics.

Ballers on Breaks

The Friday Fit: Reader’s Choice

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Yep, summer's pretty much over. Bring on the cashmere scarves and thermostat-controlled snow boots. Not. Which ‘baller on vacay are you gonna miss the most?

Tuesday Torso: Edgar Davids

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Retired Dutch national footballer Edgar Davids (plus his girlfriend Olcay Gulsen, not pictured) put some clothes on before making his way into St Tropez's Nikki Beach.

Major League Soccer

Thursday Thighs: Jamison Olave, Real Salt Lake

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Related: The MLS Quads That Are Now A National Item. Image: ESPN The Magazine. H/T to our Facebook fan, Andrea Kahn.

Thierry Henry: A New Way Of Life

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Is this man still hella good looking and insanely attractive? I think we all know the answer to that question. Image via EQ. Kickettes, we're not sure how to tell you this, but if you stopped paying attention to Thierry Henry after he left European club football in 2010 to play for the MLS, you messed [.

The Friday Fit: Brek Shea, FC Dallas

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Image: Danny Fulgencio/Dallas Observer Consider yesterday's Adidas video the appeteaser to today's all you can drool buffet. We aren't even phased by his weird hair since this profile on Brek informs us that he has 5% body fat. Do you dig?

The Rest

Midweek Hmm: Neymar

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Dare we say he looks gasp! mildly good here? Pictured with Thiago Martins at a recent show of his in Brazil, Neymar also spent some time rubbing elbows with retired Formula 1 racing driver, Michael Schumacher. Image: Thiago Duran / Ag. News.

The Friday Fit: Sergio Ramos For Men’s Health, Again

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Uh, Leo who? Image: Menshealth.es. Now this is what we call fantasy football, ay carumba. Step by step pictorial chronicling how Sergio takes his shirt off is also a sight to behold, fellow excessive droolers. Not that we're complaining or anything, but gosh, we feel so unworthy of this yumminess today.

The Midweek Mmm: Fabio Cannavaro

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Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe. Fabs attended UEFA Pro Licence Master classes earlier this week. We have no clue what he learned there, but we studied this pic for several hours, and can confirm that a blond tinted quiff does not inhibit our collective lust. Useful to know.

England NT: Bending, Stretching, Showing

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Image: Press Association. Come on, you abs! Er, players. After hearing the news that Theo Walcott, John Terry and Ashley Colewon't be featuring tonight against Ukraine, we'll be wearing black for the rest of the day.

Thursday Thighs: Cristiano Ronaldo

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Cristiano's thighs: always out of our reach, but rarely out of our thoughts.