the FA


Sell Up And Ship Out: FA Receive ‘Audacious’ £800m Offer From Fulham Owner Shahid Khan To Buy Wembley Stadium Outright

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The FA have received a massive cash offer to take Wembley Stadium off their hands, as per the Evening Standard.

Apparently, an "audacious" £800million offer has been slapped down on the table by Fulham owner Shahid Khan, the American business who also owns the Jacksonvilla Jaguars NFL team.

FA Chief Martin Glenn Apologises After Lumping In Jewish Star Of David With Nazi Swastika While Discussing Football’s Banned Political Symbols

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FA chief executive Martin Glenn has apologised after once again wedging his size 9 black patent leather brogue in his mouth once again.

Glenn kicked off his working week by unwittingly (you'd hope) lumping in the Jewish Star of David with the Nazi swastika in terms of overtly political symbols The FA won't allow to be worn on football shirts.

Premier League, Football League & The FA Agree Proposal To Introduce February ‘Winter Break’ As Of 2019/20 Season

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With the nation currently gripped by BLIZZARD MADNESS (a fine covering of snow fluttering in from the east coast), The Premier League, Football League and The FA have chosen an apt time to announce that they have finally agreed in principle to introduce a winter break into the English football calendar.

The FA Terminate Partnership With ‘Official Bookmakers’ Ladbrokes As Part Of New Stance On Gambling Promotion

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Image: Ladbrokes

The FA have ended their sponsorship deal with Ladbrokes after finally twigging that it might not be entirely justifiablefor an organisation that is attempting to curbfootball's reliance on bookmakers to continue accepting commercial favoursfrom an 'official betting partner'.

Saints or Sin Binners: Would a Sin Bin Rule Change Improve Football?

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According to reports, the "sin bin" rule for yellow card offences could be introduced into football soon. For all the hyperbole that surrounds the game, this could very well be a paradigm...

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Adam Lallana Named ‘England Player Of The Year’ For 2016 (Photo)

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Photo: @England/Twitter

Congratulations are in order for Adam Lallana who has been crowned as England Player of the Year for 2016.

The Liverpool man came out on top in the FA's fan poll, taking 39% of the votes to clinch it over Jamie Vardy (12%) and Wayne Rooney (9%) in second and third place respectively.

Official: Sammy Lee Steps Down As England Assistant After Just Five Games

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The FA have confirmed that Sammy Lee has stepped down fromhis post as England assistant manager after just five games in the job.

The 57-year-old was originally sworn inas Sam Allardyce's right-hand man back in June, only to see his direct superior get himself canned one game later for the sole crime of being himself a massive, undulating, guffawing, cud-chewing foghorn of a man.

Gareth Southgate Set To Be Appointed As Lowest Paid England Manager In 16 Years

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As if you hadn't cottoned on, it's being widely reported this morning that the FA are all set to ensure four more years of trenchant mediocrity by officially appointing Gareth Southgate as the new England manager.

Having come through a four-game interim apprenticeship unbeaten, Southgate has now signed a four-year contract to take over on a permanent basis.

England: FA Take No Action Against Adam Lallana And Jordan Henderson Over ‘Strip Club’ Reports

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In an usual change of pace for the organisation, the FA have confirmed that they won't be taking any action against Adam Lallana and Jordan Henderson over reports the pair visited a strip club while on international duty.

Lallana and Henderson both found themselves dragged into the tabloid mire in the wake of Wayne Rooney's scandalous visit to the England team's hotel bar just 24 hours after last Friday's win over Scotland.

England: Wayne Rooney Was Ruled Out Of Spain Friendly After ‘Tripping Over Bottle Of Energy Drink’

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The most convoluted non-story to emerge from the international break has moved into its sixth day by taking an unsurprising turn for the slapstick.

With the national press steadfastly refusing to let it die, the latest fromThe Sun is that Wayne Rooney is to be stripped of the England captaincy for drinking on his night off specifically for defying Gareth Southgate's orders to call it quits.

England: FA To Review Players ‘Free Time’ Policy After Wayne Rooney Apologises For ‘Boozy’ Tabloid Photos

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The FA plan to launch one of their famous root-and-branch reviews ofthe house ruleson how England players are allowed tospend their free time while on international duty.

This all comes after photos were sold to the tabloids reportedly showing a "boozy" Wayne Rooneylolling around at a wedding reception LESS THAN 24 HOURS after England's World Cup qualifying win over Scotland last Friday.

‘I’m So Disappointed In You’ – Crystal Palace Fan Posts Utterly Heart-Broken Response To John Salako’s ‘Brexit/Trump’ Tweet

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Though he was more synonymous with the left wing in his playing days, John Salako has today courted a ripple of consternation by emitting a Tweet in which the former Crystal Palace wideman mentioned the EU Referendum, Donald Trump and Gareth Southgate in the same breath.

Drawing parallels with Brexit and Trump, Salako speculated that the FA should hire Southgate as England manager on a permanent basis as it represented a sea change in terms of the established norm.

England Assistant Sammy Lee Gave ‘False Evidence’ In Bolton Bung Trial, Appeal Court Finds

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The FA have taken another swift kick in the danglies today after seeing a high court judgement that England assistant manager Sammy Lee supplied false evidence upheld by a court of appeal.

The trial in question is centred around Bolton Wanderers' signing of midfielder Gavin McCann in 2007, during Lee's brief tenure as manager.

Danny Mills Thinks He Has The Solution To England’s Poppy Problem And It Involves ‘Temporary Tattoos’

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It's that time of year again. England have an international game scheduled around Armistice Day (11th November) and

As you well know, FIFA have blocked the FA from embroidering poppies onto England's shirts for next Friday's World Cup qualifier againstScotland at Wembleyin accordance with their law that no country is allowed to alter their registered kit design in order to make an overt political statement.

England Players Receive Adorable Little Congratulatory Postcards From Sam Allardyce Two Days After His Resignation (Photo)

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England squad members received a curious little keepsake on Thursdayin the shape of an adorable little personalised postcard.

Personally signed by Sam Allardyce, each player was sent a card to congratulate them for being a part ofEngland's win over Slovakia and thus get Big Sam's reign off to a winning start.

‘One Day If I Am Free, Why Not?’ – Arsene Wenger Flirts With The Idea Of Taking The England Job

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Ever the coquettish flirt, Arsene Wenger has hinted that he may possibly perhaps be open to the idea of one day taking the England job at some undetermined point in the future.

With his Arsenal contract due to expire next summer and a renewal of terms still far from concrete, the FA are reportedly keen to sit down with Wenger andconvince him to ditch the Gunners and try something newafter recently finding themselves with a vacancy to fill.

Reports: The FA Want To Make Arsene Wenger The Next England Manager

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As you may have heard, England were all of a sudden relieved of their manager earlier this week when Sam Allardyce stepped down.

Under-21s boss Gareth Southgate has stepped manfully into the gaping maw for the time being, agreeing to take charge for the senior side's next four fixtures against Malta, Slovenia, Scotland and Spain respectively.

‘Entrapment Has Won And I Have To Accept That’ – Sam Allardyce Faces Press For First Time Since England Dismissal (Video)

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Sam Allardyce has spokendirectly to the press for the first time since he was mutually sacked as England manager on Tuesday night.

Door-stepped outside his house in Bolton, the 61-year-old aireda few parting thoughts before darting off on holiday.

Asked if it would be his last job in management, Allardyce replied:"Who knows?

Reports: Eight Other Premier League Managers Accused Of Being Open To ‘Illicit Bungs’

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As part of the continued fallout of the Telegraph sting that cost Sam Allardyce the England job, the journalists responsible have divulged that a further eight current and ex-Premier League managers were also open to taking bungs.

The bungs take the form of "illicit player payments" discussed in covertly recorded conversations, with the Telegraph subsequently passing on all relevant transcripts and evidence toboththe FA and to the police.

Official: Sam Allardyce Resigns As England Manager

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It's been confirmed that Sam Allardyce has resigned his position as England manager in the wake of the bartering scandal that has enveloped him over the past day or so.

The FA can confirm that Sam Allardyce has left his position as @England manager.

Reports: Sam Allardyce Set To Be Sacked As England Manager By ‘Extremely Disturbed’ FA Chiefs

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Having only taken up the post 67 short days ago, it's being reported that Sam Allardyce is "set to be sacked" as England manager following accusations he used his position to barter over a £400,000 deal to advise a Far East firm on how to circumvent the FA's rules on player transfers.

The Times, whose chief football writer Henry Winter has reliable sources inside the England camp, reckon that the FA are gearing up to fire Allardyce.

The FA To Investigate New England Manager Sam Allardyce Over ‘£400,000 Deal’ Newspaper Sting

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He's only been in the job for five minutes and already the FA are investigating claims that Sam Allardyce used his role as England manager to pocket £400,000 in return for advice on how to work around FA player transfer rules.

The Telegraph report that they stung Allardyce in August before he'd even conducted his first training session as England boss by filming him negotiating a deal with a Far East firm looking to profit from the Premier League's transfer market.

‘I’ve Had A Good Laugh At It’ – New FA Chairman Calls Clock Counting Down To England Winning 2022 World Cup ‘A Joke’

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Newly-appointed FA chairman Greg Clarke has branded the clock at St George's Park that is set to count down to England's miraculous World Cup win in 2022 as "a joke".

The clock was installedin 2013by Clarke's predecessor, Greg Dyke, who put it in place in the coaching suite at England's training headquarters as a visual reminder of the FA's tedious, ingrained hubris long-term targets.

Out Of The Blue: So… It Very Much Looks Like Joe Hart Is Signing For Torino

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So, it looks likeJoe Hart is to join Torino on a season-long loan. Hands up who saw that one coming? Not many, we should co-co.

The latest word is that the FA have granted Hart special permission to leave the England camp in order to undergo a medical at the side that finished 12th in Serie A last season.

English Premier League

PFA Chief Executive Gordon Taylor Revealed To Be On Higher Wage Than Most Premier League Footballers

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Photo via Manchester Evening News

Pearls have been clutched across the land after it was revealed that Professional Football Association (PFA) chief executive takes home an annual wodge of over £2million.

To be precise, the publication of the PFA's 2016/17 accounts showed that Taylor earned £2,290,276 over the course of the year, up from a mere £1.

Is the FA Biased?

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Now I'm not one who endorses conspiracy theories but when I look at the opening seven games in the Premier League it gives me leave to at least wonder.

In my belief it is important to have a high degree of balance and fairness in the schedule in order to give every team an equal opportunity of success.

Fighting Insidious Evil On All Fronts: Premier League Take Action To Ban Groundsmen From Creating Elaborate Pitch Designs

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"Boo. Down with this sort of thing"

The Premier League have leapt into action to tackle the most insidious evil facing their product today: elaborate pitch designs.

Thankfully, as of the publication of the League's new influx of rules for 2017/18, the frightful displays of grassy decadence we were regularly confronted with last season Leicester City being prime offenders will be a thing of the past.

FA Board To Vote On Introducing Retrospective Bans For Players Found Guilty Of Diving

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After presumably realising that we're now at epidemic levels, the FA are set to vote on whether to introduce retrospective bans for players caught diving as of next season.

According to BBC Sport, the FA board are expected to meet today andvote on bringing in the rule change ahead of the 2017/18 campaign.

Arsene Wenger – My critics want me jailed

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Arsene Wenger believes that although he was given a four-match touchline ban and a £25,000, some of...

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West Ham: Arthur Masuaku Given Six-Match Ban For Spitting At Wigan’s Nick Powell During FA Cup Tie

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The FA have hit Arthur Masuaku with a six-match ban after the full-back was sent off for spitting at Nick Powell during West Ham's dismal 2-0 defeat against Wigan Athletic in the FA Cup fourth round.

Masuaku was dismissed just a few minutes after the half-time restart when he reacted to a minor buffeting from Powell by gobbing on the Latics midfielder.

Liverpool: Sadio Mane To Serve Three-Match Ban For High Boot On Ederson After FA Reject ‘Excessive Punishment’ Appeal

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Sadio Mane will indeed serve a three-match ban after being shown a straight red card in Liverpool's 5-0 defeat against Man City at the weekend.

The Senegalese forward was sent off shortly before half-time after accidentally gouging the face of City goalkeeper Ederson with a stray high boot a collision that left the latter requiring an awful lot of stitching up.

Ex-QPR Midfielder Joey Barton Banned From Taking Part In Grenfell Tower Charity Match At Loftus Road

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QPR have announced that they plan to stage a charity match to raise money for the victims of the Grenfell Tower disaster.

As you might expect, the Championship club plan to host the match at Loftus Road, which is just a mile or so down the road from the tower block which went up in flames and took the lives of at least 80 people on 14th June.

non league

Modern Football Is Rubbish: Non-League Wembley FC ‘On Verge Of Bankruptcy’ After FA Attempt To Force Them To Drop ‘Wembley’ From Club Crest

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Non-league Wembley FC have admitted that they may go under due to an ongoing legal dispute with The FA of the use of the word 'Wembley' on the club's badge.

The FA maintain that the inclusion of the word 'Wembley' on the ninth-tier side's club crest could lead people to confuse them with Wembley Stadium, the 90,000-seater stadium used to house the England national team.

FA Confirm ‘Sin Bins’ Will Be Trialled In English Lower Leagues As Of Next Season

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Please feel free to enjoy this photo of a referee brandishing a yellow card

The FA have confirmed that they plan to trial 'sin bins' in the lower bouts of the English football league as of next season.

Officially referred to as "temporary dismissals", the experimental rule change will allow referees to punish players for dissent-related infringements by making them leave the field for 10 minutes.


‘This Effectively Forces Me Into Early Retirement’ – Burnley Midfielder Joey Barton Banned From Football For 18 Months Over Betting Breaches

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Joey Barton has been hit with a substantial 18-month ban from football after being found guilty of misconduct over his betting activity.

Back in December, Barton was charged after placing no less than1,260 flutters(between 26th March 2006 and 13th May 2016), all of which the FA saidcontravened their strict rules about professional players betting on football matches.

Man City: Bacary Sagna Fined For Questioning Referee’s Integrity With ’10 Against 12′ Instagram Post

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The FA have confirmed that Bacary Sagna has been fined for an Instagram post he published in the wake of Man City's recent Premier League victoryover Burnley.

Despite the game winning 2-1, Sagna took umbrage at the performance of referee Lee Mason, who sent Fernandinho off after just half an hour for a lunging challenge on Johan Gudmundsson.


Bournemouth: Tyrone Mings Given Five-Match Ban For Stamping On Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Who Receives Three-Match Ban For Elbowing Him In Retaliation

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Tyrone Mings has been handed a five-match ban by the FA for tussling with Zlatan Ibrahimovic during the 1-1 draw between Manchester United and Bournemouth on Saturday.

The pair were both charged with violent conduct after Mings raked his studs acrossIbrahimovic's head before taking an elbow to the cheekbonefrom the Swede by way of recompense.

Tottenham: Moussa Sissoko Faces Retrospective Ban Over Sneaky Elbow On Bournemouth’s Harry Arter (Video)

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It's fair to say that Tottenham fans are still feeling a little short-changed over summersigning Moussa Sissoko, who has yet to prove that he's worth anywhere near the £30million the club paid for him in August.

Indeed, Sissokohas been used sparingly ever since his arrival, with his sixth appearance of the season also likely to be his last for some while.

The Rest

Sense Prevails: FA Confirm Jake Livermore Will Not Face Disciplinary Action After Confronting Idiotic West Ham Fan

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It's not often that common sense prevails when it comes to The FA, but it would appear they've bucked the trend regarding West Brom midfielder Jake Livermore and his angry confrontation with a West Ham fan when the two sides met at the Olympic Stadium on 2nd January.

Shit Lookalike: FA Chairman Greg Clarke & A Pile Of Raw Meat

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The FA: Basically just a collection of flabby old meat-piles in blue suits...

Seriously, f**k them.

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