straight face

Arsenal

Another throw of the dice

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Arsenal 3-3 Norwich

I would like to tell you with a straight face that I withheld my thoughts on Saturday's ‘thriller' because I anticipated yet another twist on Sunday afternoon, but if I did say that I'd be lying the lie of a thousand liars. I honestly expected the Totteringhams to take the gift we had presented them on a platter, once and for all, and put us all out of our misery.

Emmanuel Petit: Arsenal needed Milan's kick in the pants

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Emmanuel Petit, French midfielder and Arsenal legend says its probably not a surprise that the Gunners are on a tear after suffering their heaviest European defeat at the hands of AC Milan at the San Siro.

"Maybe they grew up after all the criticism and after the humiliation against Milan," Petit told BBC Sport.

charity ball

Man wins training session with Didier Drogba, offers it to Fernando Torres

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The Didier Drogba Foundation held a charity ball at the Dorchester Hotel in London over the weekend, giving the Chelsea striker ample opportunity to dig out his most horrendous blue suit in the name of philanthropy.

The event — attended by Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole, John Terry and several more of AVB's mortal enemies — managed to raise over $390,000 to build a clinic in the Ivory Coast's capital by auctioning off once-in-a-lifetime prizes, including a Hublot watch, a private Ibiza party with Calvin Harris and a gentle lovemaking session with Raul Meireles.

Charity auction winner offers to donate training session with Didier Drogba to Fernando Torres

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The winning bidder in an auction for a training session with Didier Drogba has offered to donate the prize to the player's misfiring Chelsea team-mate Fernando Torres. The lot was up for grabs at the Didier Drogba Foundation charity ball on Sunday evening. The highest bidder shelled out £15,000 to secure the training session with [.

The Rest

Chelsea At War With Diego Costa’s Lawyer

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With a straight face, Chelsea have slammed claims from Diego Costa's lawyer that manager Antonio Conte is forcing the striker out of Stamford Bridge.

It's a bit difficult for Chelsea to claim the high ground here after Conte told Costa via text message at the end of last season that the striker was no longer in his first-team plans.

John Hackworth Press Conference Recap 9/11

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In today's presser, Hackworth sounds like a motor running out of gas.

Things said with a straight face:
"Keon's clearly in an attacking position." And, when asked if his halftime subs were predictable Coach responded, "Eh..I don't think that's the case." I have NO idea how the man does it.

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final: Chesterfield 2-0 Swindon Town – Spireites Emerge Victorious At Wembley (Photos & Highlights)

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By Chris Wright

'Twas the Johnstone's Paint Trophy Final at Wembley yesterday, which saw Chesterfield emerge victorious over Paolo Di Canio's  Swindon Town thanks to an own-goal from Oliver Risser and a 94th-minute second from Craig Westcarr who, by rights, shouldn't have been on the pitch given that he had clouted his fist across Joe Devara's face earlier in the game, bloodying the Swindon defender's nose and inexplicably escaping punishment; a clear punch Westcarr later described as '50/50 shirt pulling' with a entirely straight face.