By Chris Wright

The 'Anti-Gouge Mourinho 3000′ blew a fuse part-way through the second half

Barcelona made an inauspicious start to the first league 'El Clasico' match of the season, conceding the fastest goal in the history of the fixture when Karim Benzema capitalised on Victor Valdes' immense cock-up after just 23 seconds, but fought back to take the honours at the Bernabeu, end Real Madrid's 15-match unbeaten streak and replace Los Blancos at the summit of La Liga courtesy of goals from Alexis Sanchez, Xavi and Cesc Fabregas his tenth goal in 11 starts for Barca.

A ro-dent in Real's title hopes It might sounds like a dodgy Samuel L. Jackson sequel, but Barcelona had to beat rats on a plane before they could triumph over Real Madrid on Saturday evening. Pep Guardiola's team were held up when it emerged that an infestation of Madrid-based rats had boarded their plane.

With the top three all in action on Saturday, attention will switch to the fight for UEFA spots and the struggle at the bottom on Sunday. Levant host Sporting, in-form Bilbao are at home to Granada, the stuttering Seville are at Zaragoza and Espanyol are at the Cornella-El Prat Stadium against Osasuna.

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In this week's review section, we congratulate Ronaldo, while former Juventus boss is jailed and Wigan defender causes a spitting row. You can listen to these and other stories on our weekly podcast and can find explanations of key vocabulary in bold below, or highlighted in blue.

Manchester City's table-topping form has impressed Tottenham Hotspur midfielder Rafael Van der Vaart but despite acknowledging that Roberto Mancini's men are the favorites, the Dutchman believes that managing egos will be a challenge at the Eastlands.

Van der Vaart could not manage to enjoy a break-through during his time at Spanish giants Real Madrid and although the 28-year old has been terrific since moving to White Hart Lane, he believes that rediscovering peak form may not have been possible at the Santiago Bernabeu.

European football's governing body UEFA has decided against allowing Swiss club FC Sion back into the 2011-12 UEFA Europa League, thus maintaining Glasgow Celtic's place in Group I of the competition which begins this Thursday.

FC Sion qualified for this season's competition following an aggregate victory against the Scottish giants in the Play-Off round but were subsequently expelled following a protest from the Parkhead club who claimed that a number of the Swiss club's players were ineligible.

Real Madrid have sent Pedro Leon and Fernando Gago out on loan to get some much needed playing time. Leon is joining Getafe while Fernando Gago has joined Roma.

Leon returns to the Coliseum Alfonso Perez just a year after he was sold to Real for a fee of around £9 million. A joint-statement between the two clubs reads:

"Real CF and Getafe CF have reached an agreement for the transfer of Pedro Leon.

Wantaway Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Aguero is set to begin transfer talks with Manchester City after flying into London. The Argentine is reportedly ready to talk with City representatives about a potential transfer to Eastlands after signaling his intent to leave the Spanish capital. With the departure of Carlos Tevez not yet set in stone, [.

Manchester City are in the process of finalizing a £38million deal with Atletico Madrid for striker Sergio Aguero. Earlier in the month Aguero signalled his intent to leave the Spanish capital for pastures new and in the wake of Argentina's exit from the Copa America, the 23-year-old is now free to concentrate on sealing a [.

Zidane becomes director of football at Real Madrid - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

Real Madrid and France legend Zinedine Zidane has revealed that he will become the new director of football at the Santiago Bernabeu next season. The former player has been working closely with Madrid president Florentino Perez as a special advisor, creating a link between the first team and the management at Los Blancos.

Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish is keeping a close eye on the situation at Real Madrid with regards to the future of winger Angel Di Maria.
Di Maria enjoyed a successful debut season at the Bernabeu, however according to reports in Marca, he has infuriated Real Madrid bosses by going public about wanting a pay rise at the club.

The new marketing campaign "Visit Spain, Visit Madrid" is now ready and shows all of Real Madrid's star players, like Cristiano Ronaldo act as "brand ambassadors" for both the Spanish capital and the country as a whole.

By FRANCO PANIZO

The dream of plenty of soccer fans has come true. Jack Warner has quit FIFA.

Currently suspended due to bribery allegations, Warner has resigned as a committee member of the sport's governing body and from his position as head of CONCACAF, FIFA said on Monday.

Xabi Alonso has opened his heart about the anguish he felt over his Anfield exit - and left the door open for a sensational Liverpool reunion.
In a world exclusive interview - which premiered on LFC TV on Sunday night - the Spanish midfielder spoke of the disappointment he felt for the supporters after making his decision to quit Merseyside for Madrid in the summer of 2009, but insisted the time was right to take up a new challenge in his career.

FC Barcelona is assured of the service of their regular holding midfield player, Sergie Busquets for the big Champions League final at Wembley. Busquets participation at Wembley was put under some doubt after UEFA opened alleged Racism abuse inquiry against the player. But UEFA has dismissed the allegation due to lack of strong evidence and also has cleared the player of any wrong doing.

- Maxi Rodriguez

Their slogan says it all: Mes que un club.

While the rest of the footballing world revolves around victories and Cup runs, Barcelona occupy a space raised above the concerns of the bourgeoisie. Cultivated in a Catalonian landscape often subject to political and footballing persecution from the Spanish capital, Barcelona have never been so much a football "club," as an expression of Catalonian identity.

Fabio Capello's warning to Andy Carroll to steer clear of alcohol has seemingly fallen on deaf ears. The Liverpool star, who scored his first international goal in England's 1-1 draw with Ghana in March, was pictured apparently enjoying a pint of lager in Madrid on Wednesday.
Carroll was in the Spanish capital to watch the semi-final clash between Real Madrid and Barcelona.

At least it was a piece of absolute quality that decided matters in the Spanish capital last night. Admittedly Pepe, the man shadowing Messi's movement all night was no longer on the pitch (we'll come back to that), but it was an outrageously good goal and one that that few, if any, are capable of.

Barcelona have received a massive psychological boost ahead of their Champions League semi-final first leg against Real Madrid with the news that inspirational captain and defender Carles Puyol will be fit to make the starting line-up. After losing the final of the Copa del Rey last week to Jose Mourinho's men in white, any emotional boost will have come in handy for Pep Guardiola as he seeks to earn his side a first leg advantage ahead of next week's second leg at home in Barcelona.

Liverpool are reportedly considering a summer move for Dutch international midfielder Royston Drenthe, according to reports.
The versatile 24-year-old Real Madrid player, who can also play in defence, joined Hercules on loan in the summer and is helping the La Liga strugglers in their fight against relegation.

It had to end sometime. Spurs, perennially the plucky upstarts in this year's Champions League, were exposed by Jose Mourinho's brutally effective Real Madrid side on a sobering night in Madrid.

4-0 was the final scoreline in the Bernabeu but in truth the numbers mattered not one jot.

Liverpool must pay £6 million to land Spanish starlet Sergio Canales, according to reports in his homeland.
The Real Madrid youngster rejected a move to Anfield in January, according to Spanish paper Sport, but it goes on to claim that the Reds will come back with another offer in the summer.
Canales has emerged as one of the hottest prospects in European football, with a transfer battle taking place last summer between a number of Barclays Premier League, La Liga and Serie 'A' sides for his signature.

The big news in Spain last night was the hamstring injury that would keep Cristiano Ronaldo out of contention for a fortnight, denting Real Madrid's continental and domestic campaigns.

Ronaldo scored a hat trick in a 7-0 demolition of Malaga, bringing his total tally this season to 38 goals.

Olympique Lyon host nine-times winners Real Madrid at the Stade Gerland hoping to continue their impressive run of form against the Spanish giants.

Played six, won three, drew three and lost exactly zero. Yes that is zero. With statistics as such, it is easy to see why Olympique Lyon have become Real Madrid's much proclaimed ‘bogey-club'.

BARCELONA, Spain — Real Madrid provisionally moved to within two points of league leader Barcelona by beating Levante 2-0 on Saturday. Karim Benzema scored Madrid's sixth-minute opener after a great individual effort from Angel Di Maria, and Ricardo Carvalho sealed the win four minutes before halftime.

By Saheli RC, writing from Singapore

These days, it isn't easy being Karim Benzema. He came with plenty of hype and pomp, but his career at Real Madrid has hit a bit of a snag. Costing a staggering €35m (by the general standard), in his two seasons at the Spanish capital, he has played 65 games and scored 20 times.

As new Chelsea forward Fernando Torres prepares for a mouth-watering clash with his former club Liverpool this afternoon, he has paid a tribute to his very first club Atletico Madrid by stating that the La Liga outfit is the only club he will ever kiss the badge for.

Torres, who was raised as an Atletico fan, proudly represented the side in the Spanish capital before moving to Anfield.

By Chris Wright

Lovely colour, but does it burn easily?

According to the Daily Mirror, Chelsea are set to recoup the whopping £50 million they splashed out on old 'Dodgy Hamstrings McGraw' on Monday in a matter of months, thanks to a massive surge in sales of 'Torres' replica shirts in the West London area.

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Oliver Sparrow (London), Dominic Vieira (Lancaster via Lisbon), and Eric Beard (Barcelona via Boston) of the AFR Team managed to get the fantastic Real Madrid TV Presenter Kay Murray on the latest A Football Report Podcast to talk fútbol.

Sergio Aguero has signed a new deal with Atletico Madrid, scotching rumours that he was set for a £38.5 million move to the Premier League.

Aguero officially penned a two-and-a-half-year extension to his current contract, which he had agreed earlier in January. The new contract runs until June 2014.

Real Madrid's signing of Emmanuel Adebayor has been as shocking as it is brilliant by Mourinho and co. at The Bernabeu. Since his arrival at the Spanish capital in the summer of 2010, the Portuguese tactician has gone about strengthening areas that needed development bringing in the likes of Angel Di Maria, Sami Khedira and Mesut Ozil to name but three players that have arrived in the Spanish capital over the past six months.

Jose Mourinho issued a remarkable come and get me plea to Premier League sides last night after seeing hisReal Madrid side beat Sevilla 1-0 victory in the Copa del Rey semi-final first leg last night.

Speaking after the game Mourinho said:

"I've decided to return to England.

Jose Mourinho issued a remarkable come and get me plea to Premier League sides last night after seeing hisReal Madrid side beat Sevilla 1-0 victory in the Copa del Rey semi-final first leg last night.

Speaking after the game Mourinho said:

"I've decided to return to England.

Jose Mourinho issued a remarkable come and get me plea to Premier League sides last night after seeing hisReal Madrid side beat Sevilla 1-0 victory in the Copa del Rey semi-final first leg last night.

Speaking after the game Mourinho said:

"I've decided to return to England.

By Chris Wright

Just before close of play last night, Manchester City confirmed via their official club site that Emmanuel Adebayor will become the latest of their £multi-million signings to be crammed through the sky-blue meat grinder at Eastlands after announcing that the Togolese target man is now on the brink of securing a loan move to striker-strapped Real Madrid.

By Chris Wright

Just before close of play last night, Manchester City confirmed via their official club site that Emmanuel Adebayor will become the latest of their £multi-million signings to be crammed through the sky-blue meat grinder at Eastlands after announcing that the Togolese target man is now on the brink of securing a loan move to striker-strapped Real Madrid.

'Arry victim of some dodgy dealings Spurs manager Harry Redknapp has revealed that he was mugged during a midweek trip to Madrid to match last week's Copa Del Rey clash between Atletico and Real Madrid. Redknapp and assistant Kevin Bond were in the Spanish capital hatching a plan to prise Atletico star Diego Forlan away [.

MADRID, Spain Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho would welcome the return of reported transfer target Ruud van Nistelrooy to the Bernabeu. The Spanish giants have been linked with a host of forwards following general director Jorge Valdano's confirmation this week that Madrid are looking to bring in a striker to replace the injured Gonzalo [.