The yearly list of football club annual revenue is out yet again and the gap between the two Spanish behemoths and the rest of the field is growing ever wider. Despite the trophy success of last year, Barcelona has lost the financial Clasico to Real Madrid...yet again (lucky number seven in a row) and it wasn't terribly close.

That's Jose after last night's Clasico, hanging out in the Camp Nou parking lot next to the referee's car. He's not waiting to tell him how much he enjoyed his performance or beg him for the maker of his cologne, I can tell you that much.

Google Translate can do the rest.

Despite the nonsense about some other matchup in the Copa del Rey right now can't quite remember the names of those rather insignificant teams at the moment the real story is not east, not west, but down. Way down in the third division. Mirandes, a humble little club in the north of Spain, knocked off their third yes, third La Liga opponent to get to the Copa del Rey.

The Stomp Seen 'Round the World has taken front and center in the post-Clasico landscape, of course, and hanging on the fringes is one Wayne Rooney, who saw fit to call Pepe an idiot while Tweetering during the game last evening. This prompted a response from Guti, who's got nothing better to do because he's busy not playing football somewhere.

Would anyone be opposed to a dawn execution for Pepe?

The first leg of the Copa del Rey saw Barcelona win (with goals by Puyol and Abidal, as expected) and Jose Mourinho likely lose the services of his molester-moustachioed defender through suspension, with Pepe seeing no card for what appears to be last segment a purposeful stamp on the hand of Leo Messi.

A DVD gift set you never thought you'd get for Christmas.

For whatever reason, Sevilla players seem happy enough to have their wedding videos posted on the internet. Possibly as more advertising for the production company; nevertheless, Alvaro Negredo is the second after Jesus Navas to have his day of matrimony filmed for what could be a big screen trailer.

According to the description (good luck getting a universally accepted tally on this stat), guess who's currently leading Big Europe in assists this season? Yup.

It's pretty unfair when he's surrounded by that type of talent, given the fact that rolling one onto the boot of a teammate is like rolling Adriano into a buffet he's very unlikely to fluff his chance.

Ads with footballers are typically cliched and formulaic. Valencia's Christmas video is anything but, opening as though we're about to embark on a Tim Burton film the soundtrack does wonders. Or maybe it's appropriately Batman's true underground lair.

And all simply to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

There are a number of people whose behavior in football probably shouldn't serve as a role model to children. One of them is Jose Mourinho, since he's often busy behaving like a child. (You know getting piggybacks and poking people in the eye.)

And yet here he is, getting his own cartoon to nurture our future, the children.

There were a number of solid performance in the weekend's Clasico, but as the game wore on, the untanned genius that is Andres Iniesta began to take over the show entirely. It was a maestro's performance worthy of its own lens on the internet.

And look at that.

Sit back and enjoy.

As the ability to mimic Hollywood for its dramatic flair and theatrics goes, this surely has to be the goal of the year, right? The score level in stoppage time, Real Sociedad's Inigi Martinez swung one from his own half into the back of the net for the 3-2 winner. Which might've happened in a video game once, but surely not on an actual pitch.

His celebrations are polarizing and his personality even more so, but he's certain to never leave us without a discussion piece.

This weekend against Valencia, he celebrated a late Cristiano Ronaldo goal with a piggyback, to which the Valencia fans didn't take too kindly in the wake of Real's 3-2 win.

A picture pops up. It's Cristiano Ronaldo sauntering by an F1 car full in suit, his teammates similarly, with a feeling of "I might be better than Schumi" permeating the air, thus big things are expected. Maybe they'll all be getting a spin in a real Formula 1 car. Or maybe Cristiano will race it like he did the Bugatti.

Aside from enjoying his wonderful name, Pepe Mel is busy sipping the champagne of a wonderful start to the La Liga season post-promotion...before succumbing to two losses in a row.

But bored with the tranquil life that is top flight/second tier football and the occasionally bout of unemployment, he needed to thrust himself into another field simultaneously to fill his time writing mystery novels.

During the international break, some people have too much time on their hands. Mostly it involves journalists focusing on the insane, but occasionally...no, it's mostly just the insane.

Like today's revelation that connected by more links than the average tiki-taka sequence of possession, Lionel Messi and Bojan are cousins.

Granada's one of football's minor miracles. In fact, they're not even really an autonomous football club they are, as Sid Lowe calls them, just Udinese's Spanish annex. A bit of a miracle child and, in truth, a solid favorite to succumb to the drop this year. So it's impossible to blame the referees for trying to give them a helping hand.

This was missed last weekend, probably because we were all busy keeping perspiration-free. Espanyol's Walter Pandiani knows of no such concept after being peppered with questions at a presser and having his shirt fall subject to both his sweat glands and time lapse techniques on the internets.

Cristiano Ronaldo was given a rude welcome in Zagreb yesterday and he thinks it's envy due to the bountiful physical gifts with which he was bestowed.

He's not speaking distruths, but Cristiano Ronaldo seems very unaware of just why people boo him:

He's an arrogant asshat, and while there are several other words to describe, that'll work just fine for right now.

Though it's hard to claim everyone likes Barcelona, they're football is appreciated by many, surely.

And Sergio Busquets is a very good footballer, it's hard to debate that. However, there are probably four non-Barca fans in the world who think him not to be at least somewhat despicable.

There's nothing wrong with a little bit of positive outlook when moving clubs, hoping to make the most of one's experience, no matter the daunting task ahead.

It's also a properly good idea to know one's opponents. Diego, on a one-year loan to Atletico Madrid, apparently does not.

"I am glad to join Atletico, I was really eager to play here because this is a great club and I could not have arrived at a better moment," Diego said to reporters at his unveiling.

Rumours of various players linked with a move to Mestalla were today confirmed as having substance when it was announced that Victor Ruiz had signed for Los Che from Italian club Napoli.

Now there is never smoke without fire, but really, especially after the first game of the season, no-one with half a head will be surprised that Los Che moved for a new defender.

[That NSFW is rather legit. And rather surprising, actually.]

There's yet to be a version dubbed in English, or that I've seen already, so here's a snippet from The Guardian explaining:

The tongue-in-cheek video opens with a fan standing in front of an empty stand under the words: "There's a problem: there aren't many of us.

December 11th.

That's the next time these two monstrosities will face one another, perhaps in a league-mandated steel cage with Marquess of Queensbury rules and everyone signing a pre-match waiver for bodily harm/death.

An exceptional war of words already, with Pique declaring "Mourinho is wrecking Spanish football" and Jose retorting that Barcelona uses the tactics of a "small team".

Surely there will be much news about the second leg of the Super Cup between Real & Barca, as Cesc made his debut and had quite the impact on the game, playing a pivotal role in on and off pitch antics, like being the victim in attempted-ACL murder by Marcelo, which sparked a massive kerfuffle.

This feels like the end-scene of the horror movie as the masses walk out of the warehouse, weary, bloodied, defeated but ultimately, victors, having withstood the onslaught and though we'll never be the same, we live another day. That's what this Cesc saga has been: a horror film. So hug the person next to you and shed tears for those we've lost along the way (undoubtedly several) as we amble past the calamitous scene of emergency personnel lining the background.

Upon clicking on this,it seems nice, fun. Yet there is no worldly reason why one should watch several minutes of this. And yet I did. I couldn't stop. "Just score, would you?"

Nor any idea why it happened, though there are suspicions Jose is looking into a 1-0-108 formation for the Super Cup.

Disregarding stadia and considering only buildings, La Masia is one of the most iconic in the footballing world. A house itself, but part of a training facility, where some of Barcelona's youth learn their trade, take their schooling and are taught that mes que un club and tiki-taka are more important than Jesus.

Though it's merely a friendly, Pablo Hernandez has an early submission for the best goal in the general vicinity of the 2011-2012 football season.

Very classy of him not to do the running-knee-slide-to-the-empty-stands as well, as anyone would understand after such brilliance.

[101gg]

This feels like it should be a running segment, and it sort of is.

He's at it again, posing in a Real Madrid shirt despite playing for Valencia. Still, anyway.

Up for debate is whether or not the shirt or that facial hair is the most egregious decision in the photo.

When you're a footballing superstar, world champion, European champion, local icon and about to marry an attractive young woman, I suppose you get to have whatever kind of James Cameron-esque wedding video you damn well please, and then post them on the internet. Jesus Navas took full advantage.

Sadly, we've moved on from the Ryan Giggs story.

However, there is good news for the farmers of Spain, as Sevilla is showing them support in the form of an 'I love cucumbers' patch on their uniforms this upcoming seasons.

Which just has to be the strangest thing to ever grace a top-flight shirt.

Normally, the lack of awareness of the modern footballer would be pilloried, particularly at a big club with big egos like Real, but what person sees a line of people standing at a path and decides to hop the wall anyway? How is that in any way a bright idea? Clearly UCLA has admissions standards issues.

This is effectively an advertising campaign which says "Sorry we sucked so much next year will be better.", which is justified, as they finished just one point above the drop zone.

It's excellent, but begs the important question:

Since when did koalas become indigenous to Spain, allowing them to speak fluent Spanish?

The week is ending has ended, really and if you're stuck at work, you need something to pass the time. Here's 15 free minutes of Leo's tally this year, courtesy of SB Nation. And us. Which is something of an identity crisis.

And after the jump, Cristiano's goals. Because the two can't escape one another.

Raise you hand if your first thought was 'So how quickly did Ever Banega volunteer for the viral?', even before watching it...

He may or may not be in the video. I don't know. Eyes were too busy being diverted to the very interesting paint on the walls.

Anyway, don't be surprised to see the female population at the Mestalla to significantly increase next season.

If we ran a daily ridiculous rumor across the headlines, this would easily be it.

Can we all agree that if he were to retire right now, Pep would be considered among the all-time greats? Not because he's there yet, but rather his body of work, even with the players at his disposal, is so staggeringly glittering, we'd have no choice but to assume he'd be somewhere up there at the end.

There was a bit of an argument over something which happened in one of the forty-two Clasico matches no, really -that beat us senseless recently. The second leg of the Champions League semifinal involved a moment of controversy when Gonzalo Higuain had a goal ruled off for a foul on Cristiano Ronaldo (though wasn't the whistle already blown before Gonzalo took his shot?

Is this the most anticipated shirt sponsor in recent memory? One would certainly think so. After years of nothing, then a few of UNICEF, Barca bowed to the modern game and club accountants by finally succumbing to The Money. Would it soil the shirt? Would the identity of Barca's kit be unrecognizable?

Don't you just hate it when mothers get involved in your life? Kaka surely does, and one would think a certain Russian tycoon of itchy trigger finger would as well?

His mother, Simone Leite, has increased speculation that a deal has already been done after she wrote on her Twitter account: "We are going to be in London next season where we will be preaching the word of God.

Whichever blessed soul chose the photo to go along with this story should be in line for a promotion and stampeding throngs of virgins on his/her way to the pearly gates.

How fantastically (and hilariously) brilliant.