There was some fond hope that the man handcuffed to the goalpost was making a grandiose statement about the unholy sums of money destroying football (read City). Or maybe he had tried handcuffing himself to a badger the previous evening with unsatisfying results and wanted something different.

Arsenal have signed this guy to partner RVP. Alive and kicking?

If you are an Arsenal fan, your level of excitement should be deader than a dodo.

Wayne Bridge goes to Sunderland and Arsenal can heave a sigh of relief. Ravel Morrison, the Man Utd teenager with a self destructive streak but the skills of a young Paul Scholes, goes to West Ham.

Lowly Lecce knock of Inter leaving it reeling. Here is the reaction to their loss. Great commedia dell'arte! No milk of human kindness from Massimiliano Benassi who was immense in goal for Lecce. Here is a clip of the match >>

Carlos Tevez's potential transfer to PSG has been compromised with the two parties not seeing eye to eye on the way forward in his footballing career rather than any financial reasons. Tevez's demands as per his agent, Kia Joorabchian, included:

1) Limiting Carlo Ancelotti on the number of training sessions he has per day and making conditional his participation in them.

szólj hozzá: Wigan 0-1 Manchester City

Edin Dzeko sighting once again. This time he flew high over the Wigan defense to head the ball home of a David Silva free kick. The 1-0 win established a three point lead over Utd at the top of the table.

Roberto Mancini reignited his feud with Wayne Rooney as he brandished an imaginary red card against Maynor Figueroa for a handball.

The former Arsenal defender now commentating for ESPN gets smacked by a ball kicked during the Leeds warm up before the FA Cup third round match against Arsenal. Robbie Savage reacted as if it was meant for him. Kudos to Keown for making a fast recovery. One of the toughest defenders in club history.

An image used by Gold Flake cigarettes warning of the dangers of smoking bears the likeness of John Terry. The Chelsea captain is not amused and is planning legal action. There is no suggestion that Terry has a pack a day smoking habit other than that he appears winded in some of the recent games.

David Beckham's MLS fans will be delighted by the news that he will not leave for PSG. They have many more years to look forward to new tattoos being added to his various body parts and then orifices. Oh! yes, and a few sublime deliveries. Forgot about that.

Taken from Talksport

Eren Derdiyok who is Alexander Frei's heir apparent in the Swiss national team shows off some awesome skill with this improvised bicycle kick. In a showdown between the two corporation owned teams, Bayer Leverkusen under Robin Dutta beat VfL Wolfsburg, 3-1. Immediately after, the Wolfsburg team took loads of aspirin to dull the pain.

Carlos Tevez's new home

The dust has barely settled but Carlos Tevez is already getting offers. This one from Limavady United in the second division of the Northern Ireland league.

The raison d'etre for this one goes something like this, " We are sure you will appreciate our efforts to keep Tevez from getting fat prior to his sale.

Juventus inaugurated their new stadium with a visual smorgasbord. In one of the classiest gestures in living memory, they invited Notts County who gifted the Old Lady their signature black and white pinstripes in 1903 after responding to a sartorial emergency which would have doomed the Turin club to wearing pink and being confused for Palermo.

Remember FC Stjarnan, the Icelandic club that came up with the innovative goal celebrations that went viral last year.

Now, it is Hangö IK, a Finnish third division club, part of the Kolmonen that is going places with their after parties. They involve costume changes and burlesque.

According to The Sun, the Sleazy One could be facing up to a 15 match ban for his organ trafficking ways. The Spanish Federation woke up to the world chortling at their lack of spine. At the very least a 4 match ban is contemplated.

Have fun with this interactive graph from the Wall Street Journal that allows you to click and drag the victims of the NOTW phone hacking in line with the chain of villains who actually carried out these black ops. All unintentional of course but worthy of a snicker or two.

You can do this with Ryan Giggs, Paul Gascoigne, Jude Law, and liberal firebrand George Galloway, all of them hacking victims amongst many.

What is wrong with people? The best British midfielder in decades and one who has been front and center in all of Man Utd's success since 1990 finally breaks the top ten in shirt sales for the first time in 613 appearances. All because he had an affair with Imogen Thomas which he stupidly tried to cover up.

Mano Menezes has lots to think about including his future as national coach

Argentina found themselves as a team facing Costa Rica after desultory draws against Bolivia and Colombia. A must win situation against a team with a huge incentive to force a draw.

Brazil also followed suit with draws against Venezuela and Paraguay.

Deigo Forlan in an ad for a Spanish phone company.

An Ecuador fan sandwiched between about a million Argentina supporters still manages to find a way to cheer for his team.

Yuki Nagasato coolly lifts the ball over New Zealand goalie Jenny Bindon after her ill advised charge strands her out of position. Six minutes later a perfectly weighted cross by Ria Percival finds Amber Hearn in the correct spot and the in form striker heads home for the perfect finish. Shades of Shane Smeltz's heroics against Italy in the men's World Cup?

"You can't have my goolies, Zamparini, you hear me"

Can Arsenal have a straight transfer story for once? Football's groundhog day is surely the inevitable summer ritual of Cesc Fabregas's "will he won't he this time around." Now, we have the story of Velez Sarsfield winger Ricardo Alvarez suiting up in Arsenal kit.

André Villas-Boas is the stealthy one.

His snow job on the media took him off the short list of candidates which then concentrated on Guus Hiddink's reported arrival. Everyone believed Villas-Boas would stay on in Porto for at least another season. There were articles devoted to why he would do so as Boas dampened expectations citing astronomical release amounts.

Even Cristiano Ronaldo would think twice before attempting this.

"Luka, I can't show you the other part of my body equally excited to see you play"

Spurs fans are going to be heartbroken. Luka Modric has signaled his intention to leave White Hart Lane for Stamford Bridge. it's all because he wants to continue to be part of the Champions League every year.

The world's oldest football competition will be sponsored for the next three years by the "King of Beers". The competition is to be grandiosely re-branded as the FA Cup with Budweiser.

The FA of course gets some serious business. For the more finicky it's a measure of the beer's quality when the Budweiser ads generate more buzz than the taste.

Meanwhile Aston Villa fans are contemplating selling their season tickets should Alex McLeish become their manager as is anticipated.

Portland Timbers head coach John Spencer has a very no nonsense approach when it comes to coaching passengers on a plane about air safety strategies....

On August 5th the NY Cosmos led by Eric Cantona will play Paul Scholes's testimonial at Old Trafford.

Cantona, the coach of the Paul Kelmsley owned Cosmos hopes nostalgia will help gain a foothold in the MLS but featuring in the testimonial of a player the stature of Scholes in one of football's most hallowed ground might translate into something more tangible.

Even as the Mexican team is reels from the aftereffects of 5 of their players failing a drugs test after eating contaminated beef there was another cow creating havoc in another part of the world.
While Sporting Kansas City were playing their debut game against Chicago Fire at their brand new LIVESTRONG Sporting Park stadium a man dressed as cow broke into the field and scored a goal.

Even as the Mexican team is reels from the aftereffects of 5 of their players failing a drugs test after eating contaminated beef there was another cow creating havoc in another part of the world.
While Sporting Kansas City were playing their debut game against Chicago Fire at their brand new LIVESTRONG Sporting Park stadium a man dressed as cow broke into the field and scored a goal.

Even as the Mexican team reels from the aftereffects of 5 of their players failing a drugs test after eating contaminated beef another cow was creating havoc in another part of the world.
While Sporting Kansas City were playing their debut game against Chicago Fire at their brand new LIVESTRONG Sporting Park stadium a man dressed as cow broke into the field and scored a goal.

Gael Clichy is obviously on his way out. His contract negotiations have broken down and with a year left Arsenal are keen to avoid a Bosman. He's been mentioned before as a sweetener to a rumoured Karim Benzema transfer. But this is the first concrete offer and it comes from a rival Premiership side.

I have to agree this is the worst commentating but it must be parody, right?

Ford Field, the home of the Detroit Lions was a cesspool of lumpy divots which caused the ball to slow down considerably or take an awkward bounce. The stadium's surface is an artificial turf over which was carpeted over by bales of natural grass for the Gold Cup. The field was partly responsible for a match that was never free flowing.

"Hey Sepp, I'm going to squeeze the jelly from your eyes and have it on toast"

Sepp Blatter beefed up his group of FIFA advisers today adding the name of Shrek and Justin Bieber to the already invited Placido Domingo, Henry Kissinger, and Johan Cruyff.

Asked about Shrek, the FIFA president revealed he liked nothing better than soaking in a hot tub watching reruns of the plain spoken ogre fight the medieval forces of chicanery and corruption.

Kolo Toure is banned for six months from all football because he took pills that belonged to his wife.

Arsene Wenger on his former protege:

"He wants to control his weight a little bit because that's where he has some problems and he took the product of his wife."

Toure had problems controlling his weight while he was playing football.

This Taiwanese animation lampoons the Giggs affair and makes the salient point. Be afraid, very afraid of censoring the internets (sic). Because it will blow up in your face. If only Giggs had been more savvy he would have taken heed of the Streisand effect.

Kia Rooney very wisely absolutely refused to take a shot at goal until the requisite goal line tecnology was put into place.
At the wise old age of 1 year and 6 months he rightly knows that the hideously ancient Blatter is wrong about not allowing goal line tech.
He didn't want any controversy over whether the ball actually crossed the line or not.

Today was Judgment Day according to Harold Camping, the evangelist loon who proclaimed this day the Earth would be "raptured" and only the chosen few would survive.

Which means if you're a Man Utd fan you're safe.