Soccer Humor - Recent posts

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Take our Little Soccer Quiz

Soccerblog 20 November @ 03:09 AM EST

Author Randall Barfield sends us 10 questions from his Little Soccer Quiz Book.

See how many you get right >>

1. Sir Alex Ferguson is boss of which UK team?
2. In what city is the Santiago Bernabeu stadium located?
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What did Lass say that got every Irish knicker in a bunch?

Soccerblog 16 November @ 11:19 PM EST

Its all pretty confusing but it seems that Raymond Domenech was complaining that they were really playing the English B squad. Or some bowdlerized version which of course even if untrue is used to motivate your players. Which is what got Richard Dunne all bent out of shape. He had been using Domenech as comedy material before the match.

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Wenger's anti-football comments are hurting Man Utd

Soccerblog 09 November @ 11:03 PM EST

Darren Fletcher in particular. He was the hatchet man in Utd's win over Arsenal on August 29th and did quite a number on Cesc Fabregas.

Well, after the match Arsene Wenger talked at length about the anti-football display. He did not mention Fletcher's name but everyone can read between the lines.

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Video: A gladiator sport

Soccerblog 07 November @ 08:32 AM EST

Some WWF and some WTF moments in the BYU vs New Mexico match. These girls could whip Vinny Jones anytime. And Julie Foudy had to spin the indefensible. "Ponytail whiplash" like "tennis elbow " could become a recognizable sports injury.

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Poppycock! Or Poppygate!

Soccerblog 05 November @ 09:15 AM EST


The British Empire fought for this!

The Daily Mail goes patriotic after Jan Moir's homophobic innuendo and their divers perp walk. But it seems a bit fascist in its endeavour. After all, the very people they want to honour fought that scourge in World War II. And yes, it is also true that the British Empire was not welcome in many countries.

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FSC's business minute can do much, much better!

Soccerblog 01 November @ 05:35 PM EST

Sunday's edition of FSC's business minute sponsored by British Airways discussed the economic implications of David Beckham's arrival at Milan. Keith Costigan, Warren Burton, and Chris Miles all nodding in agreement that Becks arrival would bring back the crowds to the San Siro, boost T shirt sales, and relieve them from the desperate reality of rapidly emptying coffers.

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Chris Sullivan and Bretos bring up "interventions"

Soccerblog 01 November @ 04:52 PM EST

I did not know that the MLS was a giant holding area for players seeking addiction counseling.

Through the Revs vs Fire match, Sullivan and Bretos in their verbiage sprinkled the word "intervention". Even in their word salad, that word stuck out. Whereas Bretos usage was confined to the more physical aspect of the game when a defender cut off a pass or cleared a corner, Sullivan's was a bit more cognitive when he said that Jeff Larontewicz's "intervention" pushed Shalrie Joseph to play better.

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Did Platini see two red cards and one red faced referee ?

Soccerblog 26 October @ 04:38 AM EST


Kelly committed the foul.
Hangeland got the red card
Platini's wonderful system of having extra referees behind each goal post blew a major fuse in Roma's 1 -1 draw with Fulham a couple of days back.Stephen Kelly's foul on Riise occurred 10 yards from where the additional assistant referee, Johan Verbist, was stationed to one side of the Putney End goal.

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Rafa channels his inner " wild thing"

Soccerblog 24 October @ 10:41 PM EST

"I say, Arsene, I've got to get this guy off my back. Any ideas on how to beat him? I am on the ropes. How he carries on against fat people. Look at Alan. Mierda! It's not fair."

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Beach balls and Balloons in the news

Soccerblog 18 October @ 10:28 AM EST

While most of the US was transfixed by the Balloon Boy saga, Liverpool fans were encountering their own problems with dirigibles.

Yes, a bright red beach ball that wandered onto the pitch seems to have transfixed Pepe Reina's attention. Enough distraction and deflection of a Darren Bent shot to find its way to goal.

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More contenders for the Balloon d'Or prize

Soccerblog 18 October @ 05:23 AM EST

Will be awarded to the player who scores the best goal off a balloon lying on the pitch.A lot of painstaking research on the net over a period of five whole minutes has turned up two candidates.One is Darren Bent.His sublime effort is on view in the last post.This second candidate is a player from Sheffield United who also used a balloon to good effect.

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If only soccer matches had a unicycle .....

Soccerblog 12 October @ 09:02 AM EST

This article should read why US sports is synonymous with event management or the MLS without toppings is just another cheese pizza.

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Maradona's Belly Flop

Soccerblog 10 October @ 11:46 PM EST
Looks like someone did capture Maradona's belly flop after all...
Wonder what he'll do if they beat Uruguay on Wednesday!?
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Does Bob Bradley play not to lose?

Soccerblog 10 October @ 08:12 AM EST


Estadio Olimpico Metropolitano has been a bastion for the Catrachos

If representation in the world leagues were a criterion for winning, the Hondurans would be a strong match for the US. Unlike Jozy Altidore, Jonathan Spector, and Oguchi Onyewu, these players also get to make the starting squad.

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What's the similarity between soccer players and a bunch of meerkats?

Soccerblog 08 October @ 05:24 AM EST

Plenty if this picture is anything to go by.That's definitely a wall they are forming.Judging by the number of chaps in the wall it's the meerkat equivalent of Cristiano Ronaldo who is going to take the free kick.
And don't miss the little guy in the corner looking back to remind the goalie to keep his eye on the ball.

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The 15 minutes that shook the world...

Soccerblog 22 September @ 06:43 AM EST
(Summary is not available.) Click to continue reading...

Six pairs of eyes on the field...

Soccerblog 18 September @ 03:38 AM EST


Platini's masterplan to eliminate referee associated problems has been inaugurated.The Europa League kicked with two extra match officials, one behind each goal.
They are termed "additional assistant referees" - the short form of which is AARs - which is kind of difficult to say without giving offence.

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Pele gets back at Don Diego

Soccerblog 18 September @ 12:45 AM EST

Remember how Maradona crowed he was chosen the best player over Pele in an internet poll.

"What matters is that when the people voted, he came second behind me. Nobody can take that away from me. And there was another vote in Brazil in which he came second behind Ayrton Senna. He needs to stop coming second.

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Some quotes to get your day started

Soccerblog 16 September @ 07:47 AM EST

"If somebody stamps on your head in that way, you wouldn't say, 'thank you very much' and turn the other cheek. Only Jesus Christ did that."

Wenger backs Van Persie for speaking out about the unholy incident.

"I don't watch Match of the Day, I watch Coronation Street instead.

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Maradona draft Juan Martin Del Potro!

Soccerblog 14 September @ 07:40 PM EST

Juan Martin Del Potro, only the second Argentinian after Guillermo Vilas to win the US Open and that too beating Roger Federer, might make the Argentinians forget how badly their team is faring in the World Cup qualifiers.

Then again looking at his towering 6'6" frame, if I were Maradona, I see infinite possibilities.

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Maradona vows to carry on

Soccerblog 05 September @ 10:26 PM EST

"The responsibility is solely and exclusively mine."

Brazil's humiliating win had Maradona on the defensive but the Argentina manager vowed to carry on against Paraguay where they will travel to in about three days time for another crucial World Cup qualifier.

He said that three points were possible.

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Hitler gets mad at FIFA

Soccerblog 04 September @ 08:04 AM EST
(Summary is not available.) Click to continue reading...

Tapping: Legalize it!

Soccerblog 03 September @ 11:28 PM EST

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and I will advertise it

Some call it tapping
Some call it bung
Some call it hush money
Some of them call it matter of fact

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and i will advertise it

Players love it
And player agents too
Legalize it, yeah, yeah
That's the best thing you can do
Managers love it
Pundits love it
Fans love it
Even the lawyers too

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and i will advertise it

It's good for the clubs
It's good for the money
Good for the league
Every human come praise it

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and i will advertise it

Jose Mourinho tapped it
Ashley Cole he did it
Chelsea eat it
Clubs love to play with it
(With apologies to Peter Tosh).

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Which body part will Gallas use to score his next goal?

Soccerblog 22 August @ 09:59 PM EST

The head, his arse, and now the chin. We wait with bated breath for William Gallas to use his codpiece for the next goal.

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Why do English clubs have such boring and redundant names?

Soccerblog 21 August @ 11:24 AM EST

A country whose folklore is so rich and replete with hobgoblins, pixies, gnomes, druids, and writers like Shakespeare, Arthur Conan Doyle, JRR Tolkien, Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, and now JP Rowling has not kept up with a commensurate streak of imagination when it comes to naming their clubs.

I mean how many clubs can be called United, City, County, and Athletic.

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Meanwhile there is the MLS ........

Soccerblog 16 August @ 04:30 PM EST

Last evening I caught a bit of the RSL and Houston Dynamo game and I was reminded of the incessant verbiage of Max Bretos and Christopher Sullivan who have the attention spans of fruit flies. Their attention to the match waxes and wanes as they offer their diatribe on what the match should look like which bears little resemblance to how the match is actually playing out.

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Why Bendtner changed his jersey number

Soccerblog 14 August @ 08:48 AM EST

Nicklas Bendtner will look at his 52 number jersey and remind himself that this is double his previous 26 number jersey. He will then go out and score double the goals that he did last season. Devilishly clever. Looking forward to that 30.

Anyways, its a special number for him. Maybe going 52 times to clubs before his pants fell down?

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Referee gets cards all mixed up...

Soccerblog 27 July @ 07:43 AM EST

The ref meant to give Ronaldinho a yellow card but got red and yellow all mixed up leading to general hilarity.AC Milan really did not have much to laugh about till then having lost all their matches in the tournament including the one against Inter Milan that was going on when this bout of colour blindness hit the referee.

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Gold Cup: Jimmy Conrad on sharing a plane ride

Soccerblog 26 July @ 10:35 AM EST

The US and Mexican teams shared a plane ride together for logistics and cost purposes (the recession brings strange bedfellows together). So here is Jimmy Conrad twittering on the experience.

"I hope that when passing through the aisle of the airplane, the Mexican coach is not going to trip me up or give me a kick," Conrad referring ironically to the incident between Javier Aguirre and Panamanian Ricardo Phillips in the first round of the tournament.

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The reason NY lost out to Milan as fashion capital

Soccerblog 22 July @ 08:09 PM EST

The Beckham pose for Emporio Armani in their latest underwear ad campaign. New York loses out to Milan. Chalk up one more reason that the first couple of football have not been good for the US. Lets pelt them with Fruit of the Loom.

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Sir Alex in the kitchen

Soccerblog 14 July @ 08:39 AM EST

Sir Alex reveals that he was a chef in his formative years.

Somehow the thought of Sir Alex pacing up and down around the kitchen as you eat his steak tartare is a bit disturbing. And those sharp implements. "Shush ye gob, laddy aboo' me steak or 'fore lang I'll cut off ye pinkie."

I am glad he is on a different set of sidelines.

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