Mike Hanke's face palm in fetal position says it all about the slew of technological glitches we've been experiencing lately.

Click through to get an update on what's happening in the ‘hood.

"Dude, Where's My Comment?"

Rest assured, Kickettes, we have far better things to do than mine all of the daily comment threads ourselves for hours on end, which is why when we did a site revamp roughly two years ago, we switched to a new moderating system.

Bolton 0 Arsenal 0
(Premiership)

Last night's clash at the Reebok was a classic example of a football match not being an isolated occasion, and not judged as such, but rather an act in a bigger play, with interpretations not purely taken from the ninety minutes of action, but from the wider context of both clubs.

There has been an increase for televisions in homes every year up until last year. Hulu.com is one of the reasons 2011 marked the first time ever since television was created that less people claim to have a TV in their home than the previous year.

By Chris Wright

Given that it was pretty much a forgone conclusion, FIFA took their sweet time in surprising precisely nobody and bestowing Lionel Messi with their World Player of the Year award for the third time on the spin in Switzerland yesterday.

Messi beat Cristiano Ronaldo and Barca teammate Xavi (with whom he vowed to share the award) to the Ballon d'Or and he also went all Noël Coward on our backsides on the night, sporting a rather fetching purple velvet smoking jacket for the occassion just because, y'know, he can.

2011 has gone past us and we all are looking forward to the new year, 2012 with hope. The past year was something like a rollercoaster ride - the financial turbulence, a slew of nature's fury at various parts of world, the fight for democracy at other parts all made it a wonderful ride.

Xabi Alonso strokes his beard whilst mulling over his team's chances of winning this weekend's El Clasico.

It's going to be a big, contentious weekend of footy, we can feel it.

Short on time or interest to catch all the action as it happens? Yeah, we can feel that too.

There is a solve, though, that we've never explored before.

Should the Impact place their maiden MLS voyage in the hands of the elderly? One Montreal writer dares to brave the icy, Italian-flavored waters of the DP dilema and what it could mean for the 2012 expansion side if they dare to splash the cash on a slew of Azzurri players old enough to get birthday shout-outs from Willard Scott.

Busy final regular season in Major League Soccer, but before we get to the attendance numbers, here are some quick hits from the weekend. First, the big story on Friday was the Fox and Telemudno victories in securing the 2018 and 2022 US World Cup bids. The total bid price was approximately one billion dollars.

The arrival of the beetle-headed dung-munching orcs from Stoke will be the first real test of our newly found confidence. Can Arsenal overcome these mutants and gain 3 points without a slew of injuries? Furthermore, can Arsenal get through 90+ minutes of battle with 11 players on the field another red card for the good guys would not be a huge surprise.

Club Atlético River Plate (usually referred to as River Plate) is one South America's best supported and most successful soccer clubs. Nicknamed Los Millonarios (The Millionaires), River has thirty three Primera División and two Copa Libertadores titles to its credit and has featured a slew of Argentine internationals over the years including Gabriel Batistuta, Mario [.

By JOEY SAMUEL

In a match where two teams coming in were in dire need of three points, each managed to end up with just one. Kyle Nakazawa hit the crossbar late and Troy Perkins was solid in goal as the Philadelphia Union and Portland Timbers played out to a scoreless draw Saturday night at PPL Park.

Club Atlético River Plate (usually referred to as River Plate) ranks among South America's best supported and most successful soccer clubs. Nicknamed Los Millonarios (The Millionaires), River has twenty three Primera División and two Copa Libertadores titles to its credit and has featured a slew of Argentine internationals over the years including Gabriel Batistuta, Mario [.

Once the kit provider of Real Madrid, Spanish sportswear firm Kelme recently signed a deal to become the official kit provider of the Surinam national soccer team. Though a slew of Suriname-born players and Dutch-born players of Surinamese descent such as Ruud Gullit, Frank Rijkaard, Edgar Davids, Clarence Seedorf, Ryan Babel, Aron Winter, and Jimmy [.

League Cup, Second Round Wanderers fight back to stay in the League Cup

• Sunday, August 24, 2011
• Venue: The Reebok
• Attendance: 6,777
• Referee: Eddie Ilderton

• Emile Sinclair [11]
• David Wheater [26]
• Tuncay Sanli [39]
• Scott Kay [70]
• Martin Petrov [73]

Macclesfield Town took an early lead to shock Bolton Wanderers who eventually saved themselves the embarrassment of begin knocked out of the competition by the League Two vistors.

Reggina Calcio is an Italian association soccer club based in the city of Reggio Calabria. Founded in 1914, the club currently plays in the Italian Serie B following its relegation from Serie A at the end of the 2008/09 season. Over the years the club has featured a slew of well known players including Marco [.

Jurgen Klinsmann--Not Bob BradleyDoes Jurgen Klinsmann need to win tonight? You bet your ass he does. Now that doesn't mean the U.S. has to defeat Mexico tonight in Philadelphia, but it had better be a good show. He'd better play some young guys, show some hints of a new philosophy and the defense better not be a sieve.

Here are a few quick thoughts put together after watching the All-Stars fall 4-0 to Manchester United.
The MLS All-Stars stepped on the field against Manchester United with a mission: Avenge the embarrassing defeat of last year. As the first half came and went, it was clear they were on to something.

Defending champions Brazil paid the price for a slew of missed opportunities when they were eliminated by Paraguay on penalties in the quarter-final stage of Copa America 2011 on Sunday. The misses continued after a goalless 120 minutes of soccer as Mano Menezes' side was unable to convert a penalty kick with Elano, Thiago Silva and [.

The Canadian soccer writing landscape has exploded over the last few years. It almost feels redundant to write this, but the number of Canadian soccer sources now available on the web is truly remarkable.
I don't want to get in a long-winded breakdown of the "history" of online soccer coverage in Canada, but suffice it to say, before the internet there were one or two newspaper reporters who owned the soccer beat, and even then, coverage was sparse.

By CALEB SONNELAND

Upsets happen all the time in the US Open Cup. There just wasn't one on the cards for the Kitsap Pumas on Tuesday night.

The USL PDL side made the ferry ride across the Puget Sound to clash with the Seattle Sounders at a packed Starfire Sports complex in Tukwila, WA Tuesday night.

I have to tip my hat to some Arsenal bloggers out there, those dedicated writers who write a daily piece on our club and still manage to keep it interesting, accurate and insightful. You'll find some of them on the left hand side, and I'd highly recommend having a look if you haven't already, particularly if you are struggling with the absolute dearth of sense in the written press.

START DAKAR DUC 2-0 Dahra, Jeanne D'Arc 1-0 Casa Sports (Senegalese Ligue 1, 05:06:11) Nick Ames writes on a double-bill of Senegalese football action. Woof..... I'm halfway round the perimeter of Stade Demba Diop, and I'm feeling pleasantly surprised. They'd told me nobody went to local league games, that the teams - especially the slew of similarly-sized outfits based in Dakar - were losing

Apologies for the delay in bringing you parts three and four of Groan's season review I've just had knee surgery that has spectacularly sapped me of energy. On the mend though now, and confined to sitting down, so I've not really got an excuse anymore, do I? Just to recap, I've already covered the keepers and the defence, and today is all about the midfield.

A star studded occasion for the JimmyG2 2010/2011 awards.A hint here that we might go three at the back next season. I wasn't going to bother but a slew of e-mails, twitters, (or is it tweets?) even the odd telegram delivered by a young lad on a red bicycle, or perhaps I dream't that in another life, have convinced me that this an obligation on all bloggers.

Cup final's are not unfamiliar territory for Manchester United as a club, but for this year's crop of fledglings it was the biggest night of their lives so far so they could've been forgiven for having nerves and feeling the pressure. For one last time this season they lined up knowing that this was a straight forward knockout, winner takes all situation and an opportunity to carve their names into the history of United, or as Sir Alex likes to describe it as 'the fabric of the club'.

The most startling stat surrounding the 1st leg of this FA Youth Cup final is that more than 29,977 expectant fans turned up to watch the match. The attendance is even more startling given that it's Sheffield United's highest gate of the season (yes, including all competitions at all levels) beating the previous highest by fully 6,000 (cue the chant "Come to see United, you've only come to see United.

I'm no statistician, but I do know a bit about the concept of sample size. The Timbers have now played five games on the road, and have won exactly none of them. They have played well in their last couple games, and they have picked up a couple points on the road, but they haven't been able to get over that road-win hump - am I the only one that's worried about this?

It's here, and it's not going unnoticed despite being surrounded by other events and achievements gained by the club's more illustrious and decorated first team squad. There's a certain hype about this year's FA Youth Cup final, nothing emphasised this more than the 24,000 tickets that had already been sold by Wednesday last week, Bramall Lane holds just shy of 33,000.

Stumptown Footy guides us through the process of learning a bit more about the Portland Timbers ahead of Saturday night's Cascadia Cup Match Day One against the Seattle Sounders. In light of the rivalry we forgot how to count to three, and we may even add more questions as the week continues.

Dave Clark: What is the disparity between home and road performance all about?

Despite being briefly reopened by a slew of positive results, Palermo proved to be solely committed to only one competition left in the season: the Coppa Italia. Facing a resurgent albeit not yet saved Parma side away from home, Delio Rossi's boys knew that the competition would be fierce. Furthermore, the Rosanero were without Cesare Bovo and Fabrizio Miccoli due to.

Real Salt Lake had a chance to make history on Wednesday night, but instead of history, RSL watched another team lift a trophy on its home turf.

Despite a plethora of early chances, and because of a handful of wasted late chances, RSL failed to score the goal that would make Real Salt Lake the first MLS team to win a CONCACAF Champions League title.

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- Throughout the day, updates, comments and perspectives re QPR and football in general are posted and discussed on the QPR Report Messageboard...Also Follow: QPR REPORT ON TWITTER
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- Marking Thirty-Two Years Since Clive Allen's Debut Hatrick for QPR
- Marking Seven Years Since Gianni Paladini Bought Into QPR
- Flashback: Sean Connery and "The Showbiz XI at Loftus Road"
- Long-time QPR Club Secretary, Ron Phillips (having solved the "Missing Apostrophe" Question:"How Queen's Park Rangers became Queens Park Rangers").

Crewe Alexandra Football Club is an English football team based at Gresty Road in Crewe, Cheshire. Nicknamed The Railwaymen due to the town's historical links with the rail industry, the club currently currently campaigns in the Football League Two. Crewe Alexandra is famed for an academy that that has produced a slew of English and Scottish [.

A slew of Monday games in England will go a long way towards deciding promotion aspirations for many Americans in the Championship.

Defensor Sporting Club is a sports club based in Montevideo, Uruguay currently competing in La Primera División Uruguaya – the top tier of football in the country. The club has won four league titles with the last coming in 2008. Over the years, Defensor has featured a slew of Uruguayan internationals including Sebastián Abreu and [.

Germany takes on Kazakhstan in a Group A EURO 2012 qualifying match tomorrow, March 26th, at 3:00 PM EST (8:00 PM CET). The match will be broadcast on ESPN Deportes and streamed on ESPN3, and we will be following along with the action with a live blog here, so drop by and join the fun!

Preview

The match will take place at the Betzenberg in Kaiserslautern, and the 47,849 seat stadium is already sold out so there should be a good atmosphere.

- Jason Davis
Last night, Andy Najar, D.C. United's teenage Honduran-American phenom, put the question of which nation he should represent as an international to the people of Twitter. Considering the timing and the nonstop speculation over Najar's decision, the query caused what qualifies, in the soccer world at least, as a mild frenzy.

Can you imagine how many American heads would explode if the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers trotted out onto the field at JerryWorld on Sunday rocking these soccer-inspired kits? Shedloads, that's how many; you'd be picking bits of brain out of your blue cheese dip for days (and yet you would probably still eat your hot wings).

Not again.

Roman Abramovich must love Fernando Torres. Mancrush-style. Or he really, really enjoys pissing off Liverpool, supporters and all.

Romes has once again sanctioned a bid for the petulant one. No joke. The slew of media reports which have surfaced inside the last 30-odd minutes suggest the bid, swifted rejected by Liverpool, was between £35-40 million.

PARIS, France French soccer star Zinedine Zidane launched a legal complaint on Friday against a comedian for insulting him in a sports magazine over his support for Qatar's successful bid to host the World Cup, his lawyer said on Friday.ac Lawyer Alberto Brusso said he was suing comedian Christophe Aleveque and the magazine Sportmag [.