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By Chris Wright
"WAKE UP!!!"
A 12-year old girl from Crotone in Italy has been woken from a 15-day coma by the soothing voice
of her idol, one Alessandro Del Piero. That's a sentence that doesn't tend to get used very
often.
Jade fell ill and reportedly slipped into a coma while watching the goals from Juventus' 2-0 win
over Atalanta on January 22nd.
AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:
1. GET OUT OF MY WAY -- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???!??!?!?!? WHY!?!?!?!?!
2. ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC SLAPPING PEOPLE -- IS IT STILL THE YEAR 1992 WHEN MEN WOULD SETTLE THEIR
DIFFERENCES WITH A SLAP AND A DUEL WHILE MC HAMMER'S "2 LEGIT 2 QUIT" PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND?
As we showed on Sunday, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has made the transition from kicking teammates to
slapping opponents. And to prove his new hobby, Zlatan has allegedly done it again already. After
the final whistle in Juventus' 2-1 win over Milan in the first leg of their Coppa Italia semifinal,
Ibra argued with Juve keeper Marco Storari and, according to Juve defender Giorgio Chiellini, Ibra
also gave him a slap.
Norwich midfielder Bradley Johnson has taunted Joey Barton after the QPR star was sent off during
Norwich's 2-1 win at Loftus Road on Saturday. Barton had given Queens Park Rangers an early lead
before being involved in a confrontation with Norwich midfielder Bradley Johnson. The spiky
Mancunian then appeared to headbutt Johnson and was swiftly [.
Joey Barton's recent red card against Norwich could easily be put down as Karma. Remember the
incident which seen Barton over reacting to a mere slap at the start of the season from Arsenal
striker Gervinho which seen the player red carded?
Match report video -
Good morning to you and welcome to 2012. Let me first throw out a business idea for someone.
'Dial-a-breakfast'. Right now I would pay cold, hard cash to someone who would deliver a fried
breakfast to my house. Eggs, bacon, sausage, pudding (black and white) as a base with various
assortments of other stuff as optional extras.
Frank Lampard was strolling past team-mate Fernando Torres to take his place on the Chelsea bench
during last night's match against Spurs when the Spaniard's prone buttocks proved too much of a
temptation. Lamps had to have a quick feel of Torres' bum. Manager Andre Villas Boas had already
had a slightly less tender slap [.
By Chris Wright
There was an incident that was missed by referee Mark Clattenburg during the first half of
Chelsea's 2-1 win over Man City at the Bridge last night that has sparked a fair bit of debate in
internet circles this morning, despite not really being mentioned in the national press, in which
Yaya Toure both 'kicked' ('nudged' being a fairer assessment) Juan Mata as he sat on the turf then
slapped the Spaniard around the head for good measure a few minutes later.
1. OTP is absolutely delighted with the result. After 90 minutes held captive by Ray Wilkins, we
developed Stockholm syndrome and are now fully behind the Chelsea cause. 2. A Chelsea win can
rarely have been celebrated so much by Manchester United fans. It was a good result for neutrals
too, including the aforementioned Wilkins.
It's time for Monday Blind Items again, as we write this from a nice café! Every week,
our sources go undercover to bring you some of the juiciest and hottest football puzzles. This week
is a relatively long question/answer on about a grieving ex-girlfriend (poor girl!) who is finding
hard to find closure.
The disciplinary committee of the Spanish FA (RFEF) totally capitulated when it had a chance to
make a statement about the increasing acrimonious feelings between Real Madrid and Barcelona.
At the start of the season Real Madrid and Barcelona met in the Supercup, which is played
between the winners of the Spanish League title and the Champions of the Copa del Rey.
Manchester United keeper David De Gea just can't seem to catch a break let alone a
football these day's, his latest gaff came in a Tesco store as he was caught dunkin
doughnuts without paying.
The Spaniard, 20, was questioned by Tesco security staff after he and a friend were caught
dunkin the delicatessens on CCTV before leaving the store without paying for them in a store in
Altrincham Manchester.
De Gea, you doughnut David De Gea has escaped with a slap on the wrist after being caught stealing
a doughnut. The Manchester United goalkeeper and two friends were caught helping themselves to a
Krispy Kreme doughnut from a Tesco store before attempting to leave without paying. Despite his
£70,000-a-week pay packet, De Gea was [.
Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood insists that there is nothing serious about Joey Barton's claim
that the infamous altercation with Gervinho in the opening round of fixtures prevented him from
securing a move to the Emirates.
Barton, whose proved the Gunners' summer signing before overreacting to the Ivorian's slap by
going to the ground, made it clear that he had no regrets over the incident in the immediate
aftermath.
By Alan Duffy
Despite spending a fair amount of money on his Sunderland team, Steve Bruce has endured a rather
rubbish start to the season. However, at home to Stoke on Sunday, the Black Cats finally marked
their territory by weeing all over the Potters.
Not famed for his goalscoring ability, Titus Bramble opened the scoring while summer signings
Craig Gardner and Seb Larsson also helped to give the Black Cats their first win of the new
season.
What's he playing at? Artem Gomelko, goalkeeper at Belarus outfit Torpedo Zhodino, has turned
himself into an internet hit with one overly casual slap of his hand. The hapless goalie was
watching a ridiculous 70-yard effort drift wide. His first mistake was moving too far across his
goal so that he was no longer guarding [.
It's gonna be a short one today, I can guarantee you that. There's so little going on it could
well be one of those where you might do something to fill the gap. Like, take an extract from the
blog on this day in a year gone by. Like this from 2008:
So here we are Arsechums.
By Chris Wright
When asked about his feelings vis-a-vis the latest England squad containing so many of his
Manchester United players, Sir Alex replied:
"It is fantastic. The FA may realise one day who has produced more players for their country
than any club in the world.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Remember Chinatown? It is a great movie about water rights, land development, and conspiracy,
starring a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway. There is an iconic, incest revealing scene in
which Nicholson is trying to determine Dunaway's relationship to this girl. He keeps slapping her
and with each slap she switches from "my sister" to "my daughter.
Why genuine fans owe Arsenal thanks for laying bare everything that's wrong with
football today
You may have derived pleasure watching Arsenal's pain this week, but if you're a genuine
football fan you owe them a thank-you. For helping to lay bare virtually everything that makes the
modern game unrecognisable from the one we used to love.
Why classy Arsenal are in danger of losing out to the ugly side of the game
You may have derived pleasure watching Arsenal's pain this week but if you're a genuine football
fan you owe them a thank-you. For helping to lay bare virtually everything that makes the modern
game unrecognisable from the one we used to love.
Arsenal have been dealt a massive blow, after both Alexander Song and Gervinho were
handed three game bans, Gervinho's for his slap on Joey Barton and Song for stamping on
the same player in Saturday's 0-0 draw at Newcastle.
It means both will miss games against Liverpool, Manchester United and Swansea something the
Gunners can ill afford after the sale of Cesc Fabregas and the impending departure of Samir Nasri
to Manchester City.
Big Mozza is watching you, Joey. Meanwhile, we'll concentrate on the foine exposed flesh of
Gervinho's back, if it's all the same to you. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
Theoretically, this should have been a relatively quiet results post. It's the first weekend of
the EPL season, admittedly, but there were no fixtures that screamed controversy and with Spain and
Italy yet to kick off, we were hoping to bumble about quietly in the Bundesliga and Ligue 1 before
sneaking off for an early lunch.
Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton has moved to defend himself after being involved in a scuffle with
Arsenal forward Gervinho during his sides' bad tempered 0-0 draw with the Gunners at St James' Park
on the season's opening day. The notoriously combative midfielder reacted furiously to a cheap dive
from Gervinho in the Newcastle box by [.
The new season is only one day old but we already have our first example of deliberate, shameless
cheating. To be honest, I had my money on football cheat extraordinaire Wayne Rooney breaking this
season's duck but Newcastle's Joey Barton has beaten him to it.
As the commentator states in the video below, Barton should be ashamed of this:
Yes, there was contact but Barton went down like he'd been hit by a car, then writhed on the ground
in imaginary pain, clutching his face for added dramatic effect.
Arsenal striker Gervinho was given a straight red card on his debut and
Newcastle's Joey Barton made sure he was given his marching orders with a theatrical dive after a
slap on the jaw from the Gunners striker.
Morning all, do you ever wonder about the routines that certain people have when they get up in
the morning? Toilet, coffee, breakfast, shave, get dressed, slap on some aftershave, makes sure you
have bus fare, prepare toys to be thrown out of pram at any stage during the day.
Arsenal made a signing yesterday and it was greeted in some quarters as a personal affront,
another reason to trot out the tired hackneyed acronyms and slogans.
Reading slap hefty price-tag on Long after rejecting Hammers bid
Championship club will not sell the Republic of Ireland striker for less than £7million
View the full story here: Talksport
A news article on 2011-07-27 14:31:43 from: Talksport
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
By Chris Wright
Call me old fashioned, but it's always nice to see a Flash Harry take a slap...
Video: 101GG
