You know sometimes you get the giggles and it either wasn't that funny or the situation demands you stop laughing uncontrollably? Well, Borussia Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp has tackled this problem by having a seriousness controller fitted in his sideburn. Whenever Klopp feels he's laughing a bit too much, he simply needs to slide his [.
1. Regardless of his winning goal, Branislav Ivanovic had a shocker from a
defensive standpoint. Positionally AWOL for long periods and repeatedly lapse and worryingly
uninterested when closing down crosses.
Newcastle Utd vs Tottenham Hotspur, St James's Park, Saturday 18th August 2012, 5.30pm
ko, ESPN & ESPN HD
So the day that excites nearly all football fans the most has finally arrived as we kick off our
campaign at the team that most said over achieved last season by finishing 5th level on points with
us.
Last week I wrote about my perception that results become more variable at this stage of the
season, as pressure and fatigue begin to lay siege on players. Lactic acid grips limbs and coils
itself tightly. This is why plucky little minnows Chelsea, with their £50m substitute striker, can
slay the behemoth of Barcelona and their Barcisssistic ballet of passing and write the kind of
David and Goliath script that causes British journalists to writhe in Nevillegasm.
Tottenham's Dutch international Rafael van der Vaart has hit the headlines for two reasons today
in the wake of Spurs' 5-2 defeat at the Emirates on Sunday. Firstly, Rafa ruled his club out of the
title race and at the same time, it was announced that he will miss Holland's friendly
international with England this week due to an ankle injury.
Any hopes we had of tiptoeing under the radar were swiftly punted into the Thames on Wednesday
evening after every man and his lame dog in the days following declared Tottenham of Hotspur as
genuinetitle contendersâ„¢. Alan Hansen, David Platt, S'ralex- even our own
Heemskerk Howitzer, Rafael Van der Vaart, has pitched his tent in the side of ‘why the heck
not'.
Tottenham manager Andre Villas-Boas has criticized Liverpool midfielder Charlie Adam for a heavy
challenge on Gareth Bale in their goalless pre-season friendly in the United States.
Spurs and Liverpool played out a 0-0 draw at the M&T Bank Stadium, home of NFL franchise the
Baltimore Ravens.
In a game which marked the Liverpool debut of summer signing Fabio Borini, Villas-Boas was critical
of Adam who has previous history with Bale.
Different results earned by two top premier league sides, Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspurs in
the FA Cup as the former runs riot over their opponent from lower league, Brighton, while Spurs
were forced to get a replay match after being held by Stevenage.
Kenny Dalglish team were totally showing their domination over their opponent as they managed to
put six goals passed the visitor, although three goals did arrive from own goals situation.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish admits he feared for Steven Gerrard's career after
ankle infection
The Scot praised the club's medical staff after they discovered the seriousness of his most
recent fitness problem and insisted the midfielder would not be rushed back
View the full story here: Goal
A news article on 2011-12-18 18:57:00 from: Goal
This news item has been reproduced from today's media.
The swelling went down, the MRI was done, and the news came back confirming the worst fears and
least palatable rumours: Lucas Leiva will be out, at best, for the remainder of the season after
injuring his ACL. This is, of course, horrible news for the player himself, whose development into
one of the best holding midfielders in world football had finally seen a long overdue shift in
public and media opinion.
FC Dallas has followed a path similar to the Portland Timbers this season. They started out the
season by adding some high profile South American talent to their roster, had a couple of good
results early on, but since then they have been just about the biggest disappointment in MLS, now
tied for the league's worst record.
Who knows if we'll ever see a fully fit Seattle Sounders team, but Saturday's match against Real
Salt Lake will be the closest they've been since the season opener. Of the outfield players not on
the disabled list, only Patrick Ianni is still dealing with significant health issues. His back
apparently acted up on the flight to Dallas and he's now undergoing an MRI to determine the
injury's seriousness.
It's that time of year when the new kit is launched and you need to get down to the Armoury to
get your new Red and White (with a dash of an alien colour) shirt.
I've looked  on Newsnow and watched the new signings clock in. and I've decided I want a
Podolski shirt.
So before setting out I thought I had better check Arsenal.
Football is nearly upon us once again, and although it isn't the warm glow of an Arsenal game to
look forward to, it is a potentially entertaining European Championships. Starting, of course, will
the stellar fixture of Poland v Greece. Mmm, mouthwatering.
In all seriousness, it should be good, and tomorrow I'll be previewing it, and reintroducing a
feature from World Cup 2010 daily betting tips (which actually went quite well).
Another brief intro, sorry. Check JG's preview, notable for its astounding use of the white dog.
In all seriousness, when we lose badly but the white dog makes an appearance, I can't stay mad.
Kick-off against those northern bastards is late today, so I can sleep in!
Former Chelsea Coach Carlo Ancelotti believes that English sides Arsenal and Chelsea will
struggle against Italian opponents AC Milan and Napoli. The 52 year old further went on to say that
state of the game in England is 'unwell'.
These are very interesting remarks coming from a coach who helped led the Blues to the Premier
League title in 2009/2010.
Oh Ashley Young, how I despise thee. Yes, the officials got it all kinds of wrong given that he
was a good few feet offside, but that doesn't excuse what Young did next to con a penalty out of
referee Lee Mason and prematurely end Shaun Derry's afternoon in the process.
Let go by Manchester United for his questionable attitude, youngster Ravel Morrison has taken
little time in showcasing those iffy attitudes at new club West Ham.
The 19-year-old has been charged by the FA over a homophobic Tweet he sent early this month.
Despite racing out to a quick 3-0 lead, the Philadelphia Union were made to sweat out some nervy
moments before finally dispatching with the Harrisburg City Islanders 5-2, moving into the
semifinals of the US Open Cup.
An early Freddy Adu penalty kick was quickly followed by goals from Jack McInerney and Lionard
Pajoy, with the Union looking a certain winner at halftime.
"Free The Escobar Three!" Or not. Whatever."Things can only get better right?"
This was a common refrain a couple of weeks ago after the Aron Winter dismissal. It was the genuine
belief of many Toronto FC supporters that the on-field disgrace that is TFC must surely be due for
an upswing.
Games from Group B have been a pleasure to watch. It's a shame two of these teams will go
out.
Denmark's battle with Portugal was probably the most entertaining game of the tournament and
even the technical quality wasn't too far from the level that Italy and Spain have demonstrated.
The Selecção took the lead through a set-piece and doubled it before half-time through a
well-worked goal by Postiga.
One topic that was thoroughly debated over drinks by the Kickette Seriousness Institute on Tuesday:
players' ears. To summarise, do you notice and/or do you care? While we all want our 'ballers to
be perfect, is obsessing over their aural organs the silliest case of superficiality you've ever
heard?
In an effort to reach out and be more accessible to a wider audience, there have been some changes
here at MLSReserves.com. First off, we've picked up some new writers. Brad Snook, William Schulz
and Leanne Elston join Pedro and I with the possibility of more joining on as well. What we want is
to provide you the readers with more content on a more regular basis.
After watching England's 2010 World Cup campaign unravel amid rumours of player boredom, the
Republic of Ireland are not about to fall into the same trap. Oh no, they've got this box of fun
ready to go to Poland and Ukraine. The Irish players can look forward to games of Connect4,
Scrabble, darts, Monopoly and, [.
A pulled hamstring or a twisted ankle are all part and parcel of the game of football, but you
don't expect to hear about a footballer breaking his back during a training session. However,
that's exactly what has happened to Exeter City defender Danny Coles.
You know, it's pretty hard sometimes to come up with ideas for articles. Especially when you
have such a great writing team around you as we have here at DT.com. All the good ideas are always
taken. In all seriousness, I have a huge amount of respect for all of the writers and readers of
this blog, and am honored to provide yet another installment of Fusion's footy rants.
Following consecutive league defeats (both games in which we took the lead) I think we can all
agree the need for savage and violent revolution is obvious. A blood thirsty, shrieking gallop to
the hills followed by a good fortnight of medieval combat ought to sort it. Because nothing quite
says "ambitious football club" like flapping through a wooded area wearing Arsene Wenger's skin as
a dress and Peter Hill Wood's nuts for earrings.
