While staring at this photo of two Borussia Dortmund boys and their WAGs at a post-fashion show party in honour of sweets and other high carb/high sugar delights, we were struck by one undeniable truth: shop assistants lie. Oh, how they lie.

They lie to the innocent and cash-rich when they tell them, "Why yes, Mr Kehl, Palm Beach suits are going to be huuuge this Spring.

With New Year's come and gone, all Bundesliga teams have ended their brief winter vacation and have traveled to training camps in much warmer climates than Germany. Many teams have already played warm-up test matches and have begun running out their newest winter signings. The second half of the season begins with match day 18 on January 20.

Soft penalties are an epidemic. Stephane Mbia's challenge/rearranging of Sebastian Kehl's face is not a soft penalty. This is earning every single bit of the penalty and then some, with Kehl being subbed off. (He's fine, though probably not remembering much of pi.)

Fair warning: not for the exceedingly squeamish.

Soft penalties are an epidemic. Stephane Mbia's challenge/rearranging of Sebastian Kehl's face is not a soft penalty. This is earning every single bit of the penalty and then some, with Kehl being subbed off. (He's fine, though probably not remembering much of pi.)

Fair warning: not for the exceedingly squeamish.

Arsenal conceded a late equaliser as they were pegged back to a 1-1 draw against Borussia Dortmund in their opening Champions League Group F clash at the Westfalenstadion.

The German champions dominated the possession in the first half but Van Persie rounded off a 42nd-minute move that he started to give Arsenal the lead against the run of play.