Scottish football

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Scotland: Kieran Tierney Scores Magnificent 40-Yard Belter As Celtic Batter Kilmarnock 5-0 (Video)

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Not surprisingly, Celtic eased into the Scottish League Cup quarter-finals after a 5-0 mauling of Kilmarnock on Tuesday night.

The goals came from Leigh Griffiths (with a brace),Anthony Ralston, Kieran Tierney and Stuart Armstrong. However, it was Tierney's which really lit up Celtic Park.

Retro Football: Henrik Larsson Gets Celtic Career Off To An Absolute Bloody Stinker, 1997 (Videos)

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Photo: Alamy (via Celtic FC)

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the day Henrik Larsson first pitched up at Celtic Park with a glint in his eye and a head festooned with matted off-beige tendrils.

Celtic paid just £650,000 to purloin the Swedish striker from Feyenoord and, by the time he left for Barcelona in 2004, he'd arguably just about paid for himself.

‘We Just Couldn’t Handle Their 37 Forwards’ – Inverness Boss Gives Brilliant Deadpan Interview After Losing Heavily To Team Of 100 Children (Video)

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Photo: @ICTFC_MFL/Twitter

Just as Dundee did a day or so ago, Inverness Caledonian Thistle kicked off their pre-season itinerary with a novelty fixture against 100 local kids.

Alas, Caley's first XI suffered an embarrassing defeat against the throng of young opponents, conceding an avalanche of goals in a 20-5 drubbing.

Dundee Suffer Heavy Defeat In First Pre-Season Outing Against Team Of 100 Local School Kids (Video)

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Dundee got their pre-season preparations off to a bad start, slumping to a comprehensive 5-2 defeat in their first friendly of the schedule.

There were, however, mitigating circumstances as the Dees' opponents brazenly flaunted the rules to field a vastly overpopulated team.

Indeed, Dundee were swarmed by 100 local schoolchildren, who ganged up on the senior team as part of the launch event for Dundee's new away kit.

Europa League Qualifiers: Shell-Shocked Rangers Dumped Out By Luxembourg Minnows (Video)

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Rangers suffered a shock exit from the Europa League qualifiers on Tuesday evening, with the Scottish giants losing 2-0 away to Luxembourg's Progres Niederkorn, ga result which gave the minnows an unexpected 2-1 aggregate win.

Back in Europe for the first time in six years, Rangers would have expected to cruise past their opponents having registereda 1-0 win at Ibrox in the first leg.

Scots Prem Play-Off: Simon Murray Sent Off For Two ‘Dives’ As Dundee United Draw With Hamilton (Video)

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Simon Murray was sent off during Dundee United's Scottish Premier League play-off goalless draw with Hamilton Academical on Thursday, after the striker was booked twice for diving.

Murray saw his first yellow in the first-half of the first leg play-off game, after going to ground when challenged by Massimo Donati.

Old Firm: Celtic Defender Jozo Simunic Puts In Absolutely Thunderous Sliding Tackle On Rangers Striker Kenny Miller (Video)

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Celtic well and truly evisceratedRangers in the Old Firm derby earlier today, racking up their biggest ever win at Ibrox in the process.

Goals from Scott Sinclair, Lee Griffiths,Callum McGregor, Dedryck Boyata and Mikael Lustig saw the Bhoys storm to an emphatic 5-1 victory, with Kenny Miller scoring a forlorn consolation goal in reply.

Smackdown: Hibernian Striker Jason Cummings Takes Part In Magnificent Wrestling Match In Club Canteen (Video)

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If you've ever wanted to see Hibernian striker Jason Cummings strip down to his underpants and grapple like his very life depends on it, then this one's for you.

With his slightly suspect wrestling moniker scrawled across his bare chest, 'Cum Dog' taped himself up, stuffed his trunks accordingly and went striding into the arena as hisfearsome entrance music (Like A Prayer by Madonna) blared out from his stereo.

‘Don’t Laugh, Okay?’ – Celtic Legend Kolo Toure Unwittingly Reveals Musical Guilty Pleasure During Press Conference (Video)

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Kolo Toure is a one-man maverick this we know. He walks to the beat of his own drum, hacks down the Arsenal royalty he wants to hack down, and bloody well answers the questions he wants to answer during his press conferences.

To that end, the question that was actually put to Toure during a recent presser was which, of all the myriad fan chants he'd heard sung in his footballing career, was his favourite.

FAIL: Aberdeen Forward Miles Storey Somehow Manages To Miss Open Goal From Five Centimetres Out (Video)

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Photo: Aberdeen FC

Aberdeen needed an own-goal to beat Inverness in the Scottish Premiership on Tuesday evening which, given the standard of finishing on show at Pittodrie, wasn't overly surprising.

To that end, young forward Miles Storey had a night to forget despite onlycoming on for the final 10 minutes of the match.

Scottish Premiership: St Johnstone Players Sent Off For Fighting With Each Other, Stadium PA Plays ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ And ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ (Video)

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Hamilton Academical secured a 1-0 win at home to St Johnstone in the Scottish Premiership on Saturday, with Alex D'Acol the scorer of the winning goal.

However, the main drama in the game at New Douglas Park came on the stroke of half-time, with two St Johnstone players seeing red for fighting with each other.

Friendly: Scotland Labour To Embarrassing Draw At Home To Canada (Photos & Video)

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Easter Road played host to another underwhelmingperformance from Scotland on Wednesday night, with Gordon Strachan's men only managing a draw against minnows Canada.

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Fraser Aird scored the opener for the visitors, who are ranked 117th in the world, with the Falkirk man capitalising on some appalling defending to fire home on 11 minutes.

Outrageous Dive: Hearts Fan Takes Slow, Graceful Tumble Over Advertising Hoarding At Tynecastle (Video)

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Hearts served up a 4-0 stuffing of Hamilton at Tynecastle over the weekend, though it was one of their fans that ended up stealing the show.

During the latter stages of the match, the supporter in question painted his magnum opus by taking a slow, gradual tumble over the advertising hoarding behind the goal.

Celtic: Ballgirl Gets Lippy With Clint Hill After Rangers Score Late Equaliser In Old Firm Derby (Video)

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A late Clint Hill goal gave Rangers a share of the points in Sunday's Old Firm derby at Celtic Park.

One of most passionate and heated derbies in world football, this weekend's edition was no exception, with one of the ballgirls perfectly encapsulating the rivalry.

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Stuart Armstrong had given Celtic the lead in the first-half.

‘Bit Of Glute Work’ – Storm Doris Forces Falkirk Defender To Train On Gridlocked, Snow-Bound Motorway (Video)

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Images: @crackinghealthandnutrition/Instagram

With Storm Doris battering the British Isles, the M80 motorway between Stirling and Glasgow was shut in both directions on Thursday morning due to snow and heavy winds.

Among the many folks stranded in their vehicles on their way to work was Falkirk captain David McCracken, though the 35-year-old centre-half refused to let the weather rob him of his training session.

Missed Sitter Causes Rangers Coach Graeme Murty To Perform Impressive Headstand On Touchline (Video)

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Photo: Jane Barlow/PA

They might well be third in the table, but Rangers are currently languishing a whopping 30 points behind leaders Celticin what has proved to be a fairly turgid return to the Scottish Premiership.

Fair play then, to interim manager Graeme Murty, who attempted to inject a bit of fun into Sunday's drab 2-1 defeat against Dundee with an impromptu gymnastics display on the touchline.

Apoplectic: Motherwell Boss Mark McGhee Filmed Swearing After Being Sent To Stands, Threatens Legal Action (Video)

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Motherwell manager Mark McGhee appeared to threaten legal action in the aftermath of his side's heavy defeat against Aberdeen in Scottish Premiership.

However, McGhee wasn't consideringsuing overWell's criminal performance in the 7-2 loss, rather the fact that he was filmed by a fan after getting himself sent to the stands in the latter stages.

St. Johnstone Produce Awful Promo Video For Upcoming Match As Players Lip-Sync To ‘Blue (Da Ba Dee)’

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In a desperate bid to put bums on seats for this Saturday's game against Hamilton, some bright spark inSt. Johnstone's PR department decided that what they needed was a good ol' fashioned promo video.

After giving it a bit of thought, it was further decided that the video should be a lip-sync version of Eiffel 65's enduring Euro-trance classic 'Blue (Da-Ba-Dee)'.

Celtic: Former Chelsea And Man City Winger Scott Sinclair Bags Beauty Against Albion Rovers (Video)

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Celtic eased into the fifth round of the Scottish Cup on Sunday, courtesy of a 3-1 win against Scottish League One side Albion Rovers. The goal of the game undoubtedly came courtesy of Scott Sinclair, with the former Chelsea, Man City and Swansea attacker produced an exquisite curling finish.

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Sinclair's stunner was the opening goal of the game at theExcelsior Stadium, with the 27-year-old curling a magnificent effort into the top corner of the Wee Rovers' net.

Pished: Rod Stewart Appears To Be ‘Well Greased’ While Doing Scottish Cup Draw Live On Television (Video)

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In what was a fair old coup, the Scottish FA managed to get Rod Stewartto help perform the live televised draw for the fifth round of the Scottish Cup.

Unfortunately for them, it quickly became apparent that Sir Roderick may have taken rather liberal advantage of thehospitality on offer, as the 72-year-old rocklegend dive-bombed, swooshed, giggled and mugged his way through the entire thing!

Champions League: Lionel Messi Nets Brace And Deftly Dodges Scything Limbs Of Scott Brown As Barcelona Beat Celtic 2-0 (Video)

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Barcelona increased their lead at the top of Group C on Wednesday night, with a Lionel Messi brace helping the Catalan giants to a 2-0 against Celtic in Glasgow.

As well as netting two goals, Argentine wizard Messi also produced a bit of gymnastic brilliance to dodge a dangerously high challenge from Celtic hardman Scott Brown.

Encroyable! French Commentators Go Nuts After Moussa Dembelé Nets Winner For Celtic v Rangers In League Cup Semi-Final (Video)

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Celtic came out on top in Sunday's Old Firm derby at Hampden, with a last-gasp Moussa Dembelé goal securing the win for the Bhoys against fierce rivals Rangers.

Whuile the goal itsef from the French striker was dramatic enough, the commentary from L'Equipe's French TV coverage was incredible.

Scotland

Graphic Scenes: UEFA Draw Botch Sees Hibernian Unexpectedly Qualify For Champions League (Photo)

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Unaware that winning the Scottish Championship earns you a spot in the Champions League these days, Hibernian were surprised to see themselves included in Friday's draw for the third qualifying round.

An error in UEFA's draw documentation saw Hibernian pitted against FC Salzburg, despite the Edinburgh-based club having failed to qualify for the European Cup since 1956.

Aberdeen-Based Youth Team Lose Football In River Dee, Washes Up 1,000 Miles Away On Remote Norwegian Island (Photo)

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Photo: BBC North East Scotland, Orkney & Shetland

When a waywardshotwas sent soaringover the fenceand into the River Dee, aptly-named Scottish football club Banks o' Dee FC simply resigned themselves to losingthat football forever.

However, the Aberdeen-based Under-19s team have since been reunited with the ball after it was discovered washed up on the other side of both the North and the Norwegian Sea.

Moussa Dembele: Celtic hero, Rangers assassin and Scottish football’s first £20m man?

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Over the years Celtic Park has played host to some of the most prolific goalscorers in Scottish football history; the likes of Larsson, Dalglish, McClair and McGrory having all etched their names...

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St Mirren

Modern Football Is Rubbish: New St. Mirren Shirt Allows Fans To Add ‘Cub Scout’ Badges For Having Season Tickets, Travelling To Away Games, Etc (Photo & Video)

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St Mirren have proudly announced a pioneering new scheme that will allow fans to add their own 'cub scout' style badges to their new home jersey.

The brainchild of shirt manufacturers Joma, Buddies fanswill be able to iron on little gold badges for things like being a season ticket holder, being a member of the supporters' group and 'knowing the club's history'.

Barnsley Sign Player After Accidentally Lodging Opening Bid On St Mirren Fans’ Forum Website

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Barnsley have successfully managed to sign Stevie Mallan from St Mirren even after somehow managing to lodge their first official bid with an unofficial fans' website by mistake.

As reported earlier in the week, the Tykes accidentally emailed their opening offer to Black and White Army (a fans' forum with the URL 'stmirren.

Celtic

Celtic Manager Brendan Rodgers Fields His Son In Pre-Season Friendly Against Austrian Side BW Linz

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Many Celtic fans were puzzled to see a new, unfamiliar name on the teamsheet for Wednesday's pre-season friendly against Austrian side BW Linz.

Actually, perhaps 'unfamiliar' isn't an entirely accurate description, as the surname in question was one shared bytheir manager, Brendan Rodgers.

Celtic: Suave New Home Kit Pays Homage To Lisbon Lions On 50th Anniversary Of Famous European Cup Triumph (Photos)

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Photos: Celtic FC

To mark the 50th anniversary of the European Cup being won by a British club for the very first time, Celtic have used their new 2017/18 home kit to pay homage to their most veneratedline-up, The Lisbon Lions.

The Lions, all but one of whom were born within 10 miles of Celtic Park, beat Inter Milan in the 1967 European Cup final in Portugal to complete an unprecedented quintuple of trophies.

Celtic: Five-Year-Old Fan Calls Brendan Rodgers To Apologise For Missing Home Match

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A five-year-old Celtic fan called the club to apologise for not being able to make it to Saturday's game against Motherwell.

While usually in attendance at Celtic Park, wee Louis Kayes was forced to miss the game as it clashed with one of his young friend's birthday party.

Speaking on BBC Radio Scotland, Louis' mum Lisa said that the youngster was mortified when he realised he wouldn't be able to go to the game and used her phone to make a personal apology to everybody at his beloved club.

Reports: Celtic And Rangers Mull Prospect Of Joining ‘Atlantic League’ With Top Teams From Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Norway And Sweden

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As you may recall, any talk of Scottish giants Celtic and Rangers making their long-mooted move south ofthe border was comprehensively ended recently when theFootball League issued a ruling against theincorporationof any further non-English sides joining the Englishfootball system.

Desperate to free themselves from the restrictive financial shackles of competing in the Scottish league, it would appear that the Old Firm teams are now looking to their North European brethren for the answer.

AFP

Lisbon Lions the pride of Scottish football 50 years on

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Glasgow (AFP) – On a hot and sunny afternoon in Lisbon 50 years ago, Celtic sealed their place in history by becoming the first British side to win the European Cup.

The current crop of Celtic stars –- who stand on the verge of clinching a rare domestic treble - may be receiving plaudits for a record-breaking campaign that has seen them go an entire season unbeaten on their way to claiming a sixth title in a row.

Lisbon Lions the pride of Scottish football 50 years on

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Glasgow (AFP) – On a hot and sunny afternoon in Lisbon 50 years ago, Celtic sealed their place in history by becoming the first British side to win the European Cup.

The current crop of Celtic stars –- who stand on the verge of clinching a rare domestic treble - may be receiving plaudits for a record-breaking campaign that has seen them go an entire season unbeaten on their way to claiming a sixth title in a row.

More to come from Celtic, warns Rodgers

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Edinburgh (AFP) – Brendan Rodgers warned the rest of Scottish football that the best is yet to come from Celtic after they clinched their sixth Scottish Premiership title in a row with eight games to spare.

Rodgers’ side hammered Hearts 5-0 at Tynecastle on Sunday, giving them an unassailable 25 point lead over Aberdeen at the top of the table.

The Rest

Open To Offers: Dundee United Attempt To Sell Goalkeeper Cammy Bell On Twitter

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Dundee United goalkeeper Cammy Bell saves one of three penalties against Dunfermline, 2016

Just as you might whack your old W-reg Vauxhall Corsa up on Gumtree in the hope of a quick sale, Dundee United have harnessed the power of social media to flog off their old goalkeeper.

Cammy Bell made 49 appearances for the Tangerines last season, notably saving three penalties in one half of one of them, but that hasn't stopped the club from putting him up for sale.

‘We Should Be Honest, Rangers Will Be Too Strong’ – FC Progres Niederkorn’s Pre-Match Programme Notes Are Adorably Humble (Photo)

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As you might have heard, Rangers were sent packing from the Europa League just 317 days before the final after losing across two legs to a team that finished fourth in the Luxembourg National Division last season.

The 2-0 defeat against Progres Niederkorn on Tuesday evening was quite possibly the worst in Rangers' history, and it was made all the more ignominious by the adorably humble programme notes proffered forth by the Luxembourg side before kick-off.

Here’s Your Chance To Own An Airdrieonians Shirt Signed By Luke Skywalker (Photo)

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Photo: Airdrieonians FC

In tribute to one of their own, Airdrieonians have eschewed a shirt sponsor in favour of gracing the front of their home strip with the face of Mark Allison, the "super fan" who sadly lost his long fight againstpancreatic cancer in early 2016.

Indeed, the fan-owned Scottish League One side will play with Allison's portrait on their shirt for the remainder of the season though that's not the be all and end all of the gesture, oh no.

Scottish Businessman Pays £150,000 To Become Manager Of Spanish Third Tier Side, Will Be Refunded If He Wins Promotion

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Image: Onyiset

A Scottish businessman has taken the unorthodox step of paying £150,000 tobecome manager of a Spanish third division club on the proviso that he'll get his money back if he manages to get thempromoted.

John Clarkson, who owns a chain of care homes in East Anglia, is set to become the new head coach of CDTudelano after making a "sporting bet" with the club's current president Jesus Miranda.

Rangers Exile Joey Barton Signed Off For Two Weeks On ‘Stress’ Grounds

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Joey Barton's Rangers career continues to go from strength to strength with the news that the exiled midfielder has now been signed off with stress.

The Scottish Premiership club recently ordered Barton to return and train with the Under-23s after hitting him with a six-week suspension for scufflingwith his teammates during a training session in September, just days after they found themselves on the wrong end of a 5-1 battering in the Old Firm derby.

Ajax Send 27 Crates Of Beer To East Kilbride After Scottish Minnows Surpass 26-Game Winning Streak (Photo & Video)

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It's not often you hear Johan Cruyff mentioned in the same breath as the Scottish Lowland League, but the two footballing spheres overlappedin joyous fashion on Saturday evening.

Indeed, East Kilbride surpassed the feats of Cruyff's imperious Ajax side of 1971/72 by winning their 27th game on the bounce, witha 3-1 win over BSC Glasgow sealing the deal.