English teenager to decide which trophies count in Manchester United v Liverpool row, announce FIFA

Just-Football at related • 0 views
FIFA have today announced that, from the start of the 2017/18 season, an English teenager will have the final say on what football achievements are worth celebrating and which are not. Bradley...

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Song’s skunk, van Persie is drunk, Liverpool bid for Gerrard, and other true stuff

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

Nicks' note: Forgive us, but this is dire. Sample has scattered his pearls of journalistic wisdom, and all of the other hacks at our office have chipped in with one or two counterfeit stones as well. Read along.


Exclusive! Terms of the Song deal revealed: There's an unprecedented 'hairstyle clause' inserted in the contract, which gives Arsenal a £50,000 windfall every time Song decides to wear a new skunk on his head changes his hairstyle.

Robin van Persie’s ‘statement’ after completing United transfer

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 5 views

This is an update to the update for the Arsenal supporting knobs fans that I hold so dearly to my heart. All this while, I remained silent out of respect and loyalty to the Arsenal (heh!). Oh and I was also busy mentally spending the additional 145,000 pounds I will be getting from signing for United.

Breaking: Roy Hodgson calls up a cabbage to represent England

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

In news that sent tremulous whispers of shock across vegetable-patches of Britain, an off-green, medium-sized biennial cabbage was called up by Roy Hodgson to be a part of the England squad for the European Championships. Lady Luck has not been smiling upon the Three Lions; with injuries to Gareth Barry, Frank Lampard and the on-and-off fitness of Scott Parker throwing multiple spanners in their works.

Wenger expresses interest in punching Mancini’s gob

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has confirmed his interest in pinning Roberto Mancini up against a wall and landing a sweet uppercut to his jaw. Arsenal's economist-in-chief however believes that Mancini's evasion tactics will see him escape a pummelling until next season.

All units are go.

Exclusive: Behind-the-scenes at a Chelsea manager’s initiation ceremony

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

A manager's sacking results in reactions laughable in their predictability; tweets in all capitals about the news, hastily penned epitaphs and obituaries, both glowing and vitriolic, Sky Sports News launching their jism all over cyberspace in an eagerness to dissect every facet of the departure, et cetera and more tedious et cetera.

Are Liverpool FC inherently racist?

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

The murky racism row to engulf the Premier League just got foggier with the uncovering of startling new evidence that points to not just Luis Suarez being racist, but the whole of the red half of Merseyside exhibiting a proclivity towards bigotry. Our BFZ Times' correspondent, under great risk to life and limb organized and executed the perfect undercover operation to unearth this mystery leading to great teeth gnashing at News International's headquarters in Wapping, London.

Soccer Fan Jon Stewart References Arsenal and Man United On Prime-Time TV

EPL Talk at related • 1 view
The Daily ShowGet More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook Former college soccer player and soccer fan Jon Stewart sneaked in a reference to Arsenal and Manchester United during The Daily Show on...

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Hilarious Wenger rap video

Premiership Talk Blog at related • 1 view

Arsenal fan site Gunner Blog has published a hilarious parody of an Eminem song detailing communications between owner Stan Kroenke and Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger. The video features "Stan Kroenke" rapping in place of Eminem, criticizing his French manager's recent transfer dealings.

Towards the tail end, the Professor raps back, responding to the American's jibes.

Delay In Cesc Fabregas Deal Owing To Cesc Fabregas Growing A New Head

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 1 view

There has been too much uncertainty surrounding the Cesc Fabregas saga for too long now. One day you have Sandra Rossell's menagerie proclaiming that their baby is powdered, dressed up and ready to serve at the hungry Camp Nou; and the next day you have the knights of North London tutting at Spain's lack of dignity and refusing any sort of contact between the two clubs at all.

The Secret to Dutch Success: Delicate Ankles

FutFanatico at related • 0 views

The Futfanatico globe-trotting and guespostery continues. After a spell on the lovely island of Ireland, we hopped on over to our favorite London-based blogger, the Dunmore who has done-more than you can shake a stick at. Nick.

Of course, the "fisted" in the title of the blog caught our attention.

World Cup

Satirical Trailer Released For ‘FIFA 2022: Qatar World Cup Edition’ – Game Includes Heat Stroke, Corruption And Migrant Worker Abuse (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

Norwegian satirical channel NRKHumour have produced a spoof trailer for the 'FIFA 2022: Qatar World Cup Edition' video game which, in the interest of being as realistic as possible, is set to feature many of the intrinsicelements we've already come to associate with the scandalous tournament.

Along with players dying of dehydration and heat stroke, the game also features many and various forms of oppression and corruption as well assome very on-trend slave labour-related side missions.

I’m Amused…I Think

Ginge Talks The Footy at related • 3 views

I got this video sent to me via e-mail, asking me to share and spread the word. I watched it and by the end I felt confused. As an American soccer fan am I supposed to be amused or insulted? I assume their implication is that major international tournaments, like the just completed Euro 2012, brings people like this out of the woodwork.

Star Quality - Part Deux

No Short Corners at related • 1 view
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10cU.S. Women's World Cup Soccer Teamwww.thedailyshow.comDaily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook - Greg Seltzer

USMNT Celebrity Death Match (Part 3)

The Free Beer Movement at related • 0 views

John Harkes v. John Harkes: Remember My Goal For Sheffield Wednesday?
Ian Darke v. Tommy Smyth: Go Go into the "Auld" Onion Bag

Koman Coulibaly v.

USWNT in Do or Die Match in Chicago Today

JordanCornblog at related • 0 views

The US women's national soccer team faces off against Italy today in Chicago It's their second match with Italy ... and total goals will determine who goes to Germany to play in the women's World Cup.

A win or a draw will send the US to Germany. A one-point win by Italy would send both teams into a tiebreaker scenario, while a win by more than one point would send Italy to the women's World Cup.

Scottish football

Who Are The Horsemen Of The Rangers Apocalypse?

Twohundredpercent at related • 4 views

The dizzying raft of exposes emanating from investigations into twenty-first century Rangers (and a few years before, if ex-director Hugh Adam's revelations are at all credible) is truly now doing my head in. Plymouth Argyle's pock-marked spell in administration last year produced enough material for almost daily updates on this site.

Referee Crisis: Time Out

The Scottish Football Blog at related • 0 views
The stereotype of a Scottish football fan. Get pissed before the game, shout abuse for 90 minutes, have a fight, get a bit more pissed.

Unfair and outdated. Mostly.

Especially this week.

Since the news of the referee's strike broke I'm amazed at some of the discussions I've had, all of them inspired by the beautiful game.


John Harkes Is.... "The Commentator"

The Free Beer Movement at related • 0 views
"I'm just as surprised as you all are that I'm coming back."Editor's Note: With all due respect and a thousand plaudits to "Dirty Tackle" (It's only fair... they spun off one of our series, too) we present the potentially true life and times of America's favorite soccer commentator, John Harkes.

John Harkes is... The Commentator

The Free Beer Movement at related • 0 views

Editor's Note: With all due respect and a thousand plaudits to "Dirty Tackle" (It's only fair... they spun off one of our series, too) we present the potentially true life and times of America's favorite soccer commentator, John Harkes.

A few years back I decided to start my own blog.

Be Good To Us "MLS on NBC", We've Been Hurt Before

The Free Beer Movement at related • 1 view
Hey NBC... the FBM Graphic Department is for hire.Well that certainly was nice of you, National Broadcasting Corporation. And unexpected we may add. We caught wind (more than a wind... perhaps gale-force the way the Inter-Net-Blogo-Sphere responded) that you showed a fancy little Major League Soccer teaser video during a pre-season throwball game on Sunday.

Clint Dempsey

The Nightmare Ape: WTF Will Wayne Rooney Do Next?

PITCHFLOP at related • 0 views
It's like a contest. Try and guess the next banana peel NIGHTMARE APE WAYNE ROONEY, England's Ambassador to Football and redemptive bicycle kick specialist, will throw into his own path. Will he get a tattoo of Mike Tyson Chewing Evander Holyfield's Ear on his hairy back? (AHHHHNT: My guess last time, which was admittedly wrong; instead he hashed opened a leg just to watch it bleed and thereby abandoned his national side when most they needed him).

USMNT Celebrity Death Match (Part 1)

The Free Beer Movement at related • 1 view

It started as a Twitter daydream. Imaging Clint Dempsey and Michael Bradley duking it out during the weekend's Fulham/ Aston Villa game. Bradley however could not partake in the USMNT Midfiedler Celebrity Death Match because he arrived at Villa Park only the day before. Still we pictured what the fight might look like.

Free Beer

The Story of the Little Red Fan

The Free Beer Movement at related • 1 view

Once upon a time there was an American soccer fan who lived in a big American city. He was friends with a Manchester United supporter, a Bayern Munich fan, and a guy with a Brazil jersey.

One day he read that that a new Major League Soccer team was starting in his city. MLS guy had an idea.

USMNT Celebrity Death Match (Part 2)

The Free Beer Movement at related • 0 views

Our second round of USMNT Celebrity Death Matches continues today! Round one was a real bloodbath...

For those of you wondering why our series has omitted the most obvious of Death Matches, Mexico; there's a whole post of its own coming down because we've got so much material.

VIDEO - The Onion "SportsDome" on Major League Soccer

The Free Beer Movement at related • 6 views
Even got put on the banner!Hey look we're relevant enough to openly mock!

The Onion (born in FBM HQ North aka Wisconsin!) has a new sport-centric show on Comedy Central called "SportsDome". Last week, in their premier episode, the took a shot at Major League Soccer in a highlight segment that covered the last four years of the league or "since we last checked in on the league".

The Twelve Days of US-Mas

The Free Beer Movement at related • 0 views
We're in the holiday spirit here at the Free Beer Movement. For us, it means more time off, a return to the FBM motherland (Wisconsin), and a chance to try all sorts of tasty Midwest brews.

That doesn't mean we've jumped away from our soccer minds, though. Here's our wish list for 2011 in a catchy tune you may recall as "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

The Rest

A work of fiction: Gulati’s DONGARBER proclamation

The Philly Soccer Page at related • 0 views
In an alternate universe, one where the Union season isn't beginning to look exactly like almost every other one before it, USSF President Sunil Gulati makes a proclamation that changes everything about American soccer.

Hulk schießt sich im Training warm at related • 0 views
Video ansehen

Diese Szene zeigt den typischen Trainingsablauf bei Zenit St. Petersburg, wo man lieber nicht als Torhüter anheuern sollte.Hulk schießt sich im Training warm

Erstmalige Verleihung des Fallon d'Floor at related • 0 views

Der dieses Jahr neu eingeführte Fallon d'Floor hat das Potenzial eine der wichtigsten Auszeichnungen im Weltfußball zu werden. Geehrt wird der Spieler, der die Schwalbe des Jahres 2014 dargeboten hat.Erstmalige Verleihung des Fallon d'Floor

Azzurri Rambles

Euro 2008 on World Cup Blog at related • 0 views

After Gadsby's historical piece a few days ago, I come to this little corner of the internet feeling that following a piece as hilarious as that is a daunting task to say the least. Hate him, disagree with him or not, you can't argue the guy can write great satire(That [read more]

Ronaldinho Pitches Prozac, Admits Smile “Mostly Fake”

PITCHFLOP at related • 2 views

Former Barcelona ace Ronaldinho apparently inked a multimillion Euro deal today with Eli Lilly to endorse the depression treatment Prozac in a series of television ads to air during the upcoming European Championships. The commercials are to feature the Brazilian maestro not in his typical role as fun-loving ball-juggling superstar but "the real Ronaldinho," as he describes himself, "A man bludgeoned by depression, bereft of friends.

#ThoughtsFromMyYacht Shows, Yes, Seattle Sounders Fans Can Laugh At Ourselves

Sounder at Heart at related • 0 views

As you may have heard by now, the Wall Street Journal took a ... how do we put this? ... interesting story about our little soccer rivalry we have brewing here in the Pacific Northwest. I really want to believe that it's a genius piece of satire. But something tells me I'm giving the author too much credit.

Raul Gonzalez Continues to Rave About Germany

FutFanatico at related • 0 views

I continue my love affair with the satire-challenged Yahoo comment crew and have updated the latest chapter in the life of Raul Gonzalez. Available at the award-winning Dirty Tackle. Beware of the white powder water.

Viral Football: ‘Dear Mr Rapist’ (A Tom Hicks Spoof Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Ollie Irish

You may need to watch the original Dear Mr Hicks video before you watch this close-to-the-knuckle spoof. Context is important here.

NB: The video below features graphic language that some people may find unsettling. Not me though, being offended by words is just silly.