sarcasm

Arsenal

Wenger – The whole Arsenal team need to share out the goalscoring this season

Just Arsenal at related • 0 views
Arsene Wenger is well aware that Arsenal have lost a goalscoring genius in Robin Van Persie, but he is certain that the Gunners new arrivals and our midfielders have the ability to make up for our loss. After ending the first two League games without a goal it was obvious that the Arsenal-loving media (sarcasm!

Sorry :derp:

The Offside - Arsenal at related • 0 views

No, the site is not dead. It's just in a bit of a hiatus right now. See, a funny thing called "life" caught up to us here at the Arsenal Offside. Darren, Brenton, and Martin have busy work schedules. As for JG, I have a pretty packed school schedule that involves various extracurricular activities that are sapping my available time and energy- yay for realistically applying to good colleges!

Guest Blog: The Homey Train – Is it Still Cruising, or has it Ground to a Complete Halt?

The Offside - Arsenal at related • 1 view

[Editor's Note: This is another installment from Orion, to help us through the interlull. And to be clear, the Homey Train is still stubbornly cruising along, but without very many passengers at the moment.]

So I was staring at the screen, waiting for an idea to strike me from some abyss in my mind.

Sarcasm, And Other Tools At An Arsenal Fan’s Disposal

All Four One, and One Four All! at related • 0 views

Nickspinkboots' Note: I know my way around WordPress about as well as Manuel Almunia knows his way around the penalty box. Since I can't change the author name on the article for some reason, I would like to clarify that this post is written by Swaroop Swaminathan, journalist with national dailies who is moonlighting as a cynical Arsenal fan here on BFZ.

English Premier League

Wenger’s Finest Grooming

Arsenal View From a Gooner at related • 0 views

Reunited with Cesc

Hello there. Start of another week. A start that has been made better/worse for you depending on where you stand after our first game of the season. I have no authority for speak for you but personally, I'm can't be in better mood. Arsenal is back, win or lose is part of the game, what is there not to enjoy?

Everton 2-0 Chelsea: A new low in a season brimmed with them

The Offside - Chelsea at related • 0 views

I'm going to attempt to keep this short because, quite frankly, spitting viciously vile vitriol is not how I'd like to spend my Saturday afternoon. Virulence really isn't going to get us anywhere.

But, shit, I'm fucking pissed.


Don't worry, it got much worse.

The bid is in: For Alex that is

The Offside - Chelsea at related • 0 views

It's safe to say Alex has not enjoyed the new year thus far. After Andre Villas-Boas kicked the bold, bald Brazilian to the Cobham curb earlier in the winter, he was left to fend for himself on just £50k per week. Just really, really terrible.

Thankfully for Alex, the nightmare looks to be coming to an end.

Reds Take One Point From United Game

The Liver Bird at related • 0 views
Gerrard celebrates...Liverpool were forced to settle for a draw against Manchester United on Saturday with captain Steven Gerrard converting a fantastic free kick in the process. Manchester United found their equalizer with ten minutes left on the clock courtesy of front man Javier Hernandez.

Digitally enhanced

That's On Point at related • 0 views
Ever notice in America, once September rolls around, it's almost impossible to find any NFL analysis on television?(Damn it, I've got to remind myself that sometimes sarcasm -- no matter how syrupy thick -- can sometimes get lost in a blog post or (especially) a text message.)It's getting to the point where a show like "Meet the Press" is probably going to have a "Start 'em/Sit 'em" segment

Kaka closing in on Arsenal switch*

OK Football Finder at related • 7 views

Arsene Wenger is expected to make some big-name signings at long last with days remaining before the transfer window closes.

It emerged that Kaka, Gary Cahill, Leighton Baines, Yann M'Vila & Lille forward Eden Hazard are all possible targets*.

But here lies the problems, Arsenal fans, including myself are fed up with that word.

Arsenal boss: “Every defeat is an earthquake”

Premiership Talk Blog at related • 0 views

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has rubbished suggestions that this afternoon's disappointing 2-0 defeat to Liverpool will dent his side's silverware ambitions this season.

Although the loss at home to the Reds was the Gunners' first defeat and in fact, the first time they conceded any goals this season, they could already end up being five points adrift of the Barclays Premier League summit by the end of the weekend.

EPL 2011: Yr City is a Sucker

That's On Point at related • 1 view
So here we sit barely 100 hours until the 2011-12 Barclay's Premier League season kicks off Saturday morning with six concurrent matches, including newly promoted clubs Queens Park Rangers and Norwich City. All-and-all, it shapes up to be one thing: The best. season. ever. Ever. Ask anyone. Apologies up front for the sarcasm dripping like sap out of Vermont maple.

England

POTD : USA Women’s Olympic Football Team In Glasgow, Great Britain’s Tankmania!

Futbolita at related • 0 views

Preparations are underway for both the USA Women's Football team (seen above) who are currently at a preOlympics training camp at Glasgow, Scotland and the GB Women's Team. They even visited Tankmania in Measham (England) last week as part of a fun team bonding exercise!

Meanwhile, in surely some appalling news, current Women's World Champions Japan, were forced to fly economy class to London while their male counterparts flew in business.

‘Emile Heskey Is The New Franz Beckenbauer’ – Alex McLeish Waxes Lyrical Over Stocky Striker

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy


Aston Villa's Der Kaiser listens to the resounding laughter following Alex McLeish's interview

It's not often that you hear the names Emile Heskey and Franz Beckenbauer in the same sentence, and it's even less often that you hear the former England man being actually compared to the German great.

Liverpool

Mighty Red Amazes Liverpool Fans Awaiting A ‘Special Guest’

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

LIVERPOOL have a new team mascot. He's Mighty Red. Legend has it that Mighty Red is a massive sunburnt Liver bird. Others say he's a demented puffin who nods to Liverpool great Phil Thompson and smiles at Emelyn Hughes.

The velour-coated bird is sure to be a hit at Anfield.

Reds Take One Point From United Game

Kop That at related • 0 views

Reds Take One Point From United Game

Gerrard celebrates... Liverpool were forced to settle for a draw against Manchester United on Saturday with captain Steven Gerrard converting a fantastic free kick in the process. Manchester United found their equalizer with ten minutes left on the clock courtesy of front man Javier Hernandez.

mistake

MLS Official Ruins Game, Shocking No One

Philadelphia Union Talk at related • 0 views
In an unprecedented twist, an asshat with a whistle made a mistake that drastically altered the outcome of an MLS match, stretching the limits of fans' credulity and threatening any sense of subtlety in online sarcasm. The incident put a damper on the Union's dramatic resurgence in recent weeks, adding another loss to their shaky record, now standing at 3-9-2.

Timbers Tid Bits: Highschool Edition... with a poll!

Stumptown Footy at related • 0 views

So an article appeared in yesterday's TTB that I think warrants a bit more discussion with regards to the Timbers academies. Essentially what is happening is when the Timbers officially launch their academies this year they'll mandate that any player who signs up will not be allowed to play for their local high school anymore.

Quotes

Video: A riposte by Villas-Boas

The Offside - Chelsea at related • 1 view

As Martin Kelner so eloquently put it in the Guardian:

Britain's great gift to the world is undoubtedly sarcasm – that, and Marmite – so congratulations to Chelsea's new coach, André Villas-Boas on picking up the lingua franca so quickly ...

Below is Villas-Boas' post-Norwich interview.

Friendly-Fire and An Apology Accepted

The Free Beer Movement at related • 1 view
Ooops. Our bad.Last night, the FBM posted some criticisms of ESPN's soccer coverage from Wednesday's U.S. match versus Mexico. In that article we drew a connection to a local bar, Cuatro's (that was unnamed in the article), and tried to highlight the difficulty in satisfying the demands of "mainstream" sports fans and soccer fans.

The Rest

Lowest Form Of Wit: Serie B Side Avellino Fined For Making ‘Sarcastic’ Stadium Announcement

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Embed from Getty Images

US Avellino had been fined a princely sum after it was judged by the relevant authorities that a stadium announcement delivered during a recent match was improperly "sarcastic".

Pescara were the visitors to the Stadio Partenio on 18th March when a late goal from Avellino midfielder Francesco Di Tacchio sealed a 2-2 draw.

Five Things We Learned: Revolution vs. Crew

New England Soccer Today at related • 0 views

Dimitry Imbongo celebrates his first MLS goal with Diego Fagundez during Wednesday's 2-0 win over the Crew. (Photo: Kari Heistad/CapturedImages.biz)

Given the circumstances, it made perfect sense that the winless streak would snap on Wednesday.

Nevermind that the Revolution were missing their leading scorer.

Saturday round-robin round-up

Arseblog at related • 0 views

Good morning sarcasm fans, a very quick Saturday round-up for you as I have to bring the pup to the vets after his midweek illness. I suspect he's quite fine as I came home last night to find him chewing quite contentedly on my Macbook which he'd managed to take down from the kitchen table. Fair play to Apple, they hold up quite well to puppy slobber.

A Breakdown of Title IX

Two Touch Pass at related • 0 views

Remember weeks ago when I said a post about Title IX was coming? Yeah... it's been awhile. Oops. Better late than never, right? When I started writing this entry I realized that there was no way I could cover it in just one post. So I'll be providing you all a little insight to Title IX one piece at a time.

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v. San Jose... or at least these injuries have suitable replacements

the yorkies at related • 0 views
The [bad] Cheesequakes logo has been retired in favour of this NASL rehash.
Canada right? Cold? Wintery?
That's bullsh-t. It's broken 20 C every day for the last 9 days. Today's forecast, cold, rain and misery. And talking about the weather is typically clichéd, but in football terms, it's important.

Barcelona Buying Bridge Babies

The Offside - Chelsea at related • 0 views

Alliteration for the win. More, after the jump:

Time to re-up that Rosetta Stone collection

Get this: Barcelona are upset.

Apparently, the idea of losing another crop of high-quality young players this summer (almost a certainty) has many in the Catalonian corner of Spain vexed.

Hey Big Spender

Jakarta Casual at related • 0 views

Another political dynasty is splashing the cash in Thailand's provinces. This time it is the Silpa Archas' of Suphanburi fame. The patriarch will go down in history as one of the country's funniest prime ministers, at least until his replacement came along, but back home they love him as all the road and building names will testify.

Noticias : Santos Reject Porto’s Bid For Ganso, Say They “Forgot One More Zero”

Futbolita at related • 0 views

Futbolitinos, the transfer deadline window is now shut! Seedy agents all became instant millionaires when "under the table" deals were finalized yesterday, including Coutinho's loan move from Inter Milan to Espanyol (above).

DC United 2012 Roster Reset #1

The Fullback Files at related • 0 views

Based on the current roster list on United's web site and the little scraps of information we have to go on, I thought I'd begin the Roster Reset in advance of the SuperDraft and the absolute rafts of new signings the United brain trust are just waiting to announce (hello, sarcasm, you insufferable trollop).

The United Nations x Shipwrecked Footballers? Let Didier Drogba,...

A Football Report at related • 0 views


The United Nations x Shipwrecked Footballers?

Let Didier Drogba, Luis Figo, Ronaldo, Zizou and even Michael Ballack teach you about the Millennium Development Goals in a manner that I really hope, for everyone's sake, was intended to be overflowing with sarcasm. It's a 32-page comic teaching about the United Nations' MDGs set for 2015 through the form of top footballers being shipwrecked and having to deal with real life issues, like living a day without Sara Carbonero.

Antidote? I really doubt it.

RefBlog at related • 0 views
I can't even think the last time I called two penalty kicks against the same team - most of the time they're smart enough to avoid it. But there they were, both in the second half and within 15 minutes of each other. The oddest thing about it was that this was a men's game, and I issued no cards.

I'm rather fortunate that I let my instincts take over on the game, because as you could tell from my last entry, I was not in a good place emotionally to run the game.

Updated 2011 Dynamo Salaries

Dynamo Theory at related • 0 views

Here are the final numbers from the Players Union for base salaries and guaranteed compensation. I don't know about you, but there sure seems to be some wasted money on this list. For example, the Dynamo are paying Carlo Costly nearly a half million in reported pay (there could be more allocation money involved) and all we've gotten is a red card.

New marketing campaign, no Becks and another friendly

Perth Glory News at related • 0 views
Hi folks,
Welcome back to the blog, and it has been a long, long time. A lot has happened since this blog was last active, most it being very, very bad. What the hell has gone wrong?
Too much, and hopefully with a basically new team, that will change this season.
More on that in later blogs, but for now lets get into more current news.