Things are incredibly quiet today. Where are the Shocking!Transfers? And what was Amauri's agent doing while his client was saying he wouldn't move this winter? Apparently Amauri has learned less than we thought about teasing.

Really, the most interesting stories in the news are two really sketchy ones.

Can you believe we shopped around JPA?!

Well, get ready for this one folks.

Óscar Héctor Quintabani, head coach of Colombias treasured NACIONAL, was looking for some extra fire power heading into the Copa Libertadores.

Who did he want? You guessed it.

Angel filled Nacionals need for a quality striker, and was said to be part of the transfer process.

Mysterious, unnamed German newspapers are reporting today that transfer window man-whore Rafael Van Der Vaart is on the verge of being sold to his most determined suitor Juvenetus, though he wouldn't actually leave Hamburg until the summer. If true, this would be a massive coup for the Old Lady who, after (allegedly) getting rejected several times already this week, will have successfully beaten off (so to speak) most of Europe for the Dutchman's services.

Bright and early this morning, it was reported that Torino had more or less given up on their dream of bringing Cristiano Lucarelli back to help them score some damn goals, and were turning their eyes elsewhere. It's not surprising, then, that today's La Gazzetta tells us that Parma, one of Toro's two main rivals for the big man's services, are on the verge of solidifying an agreement with Shakhtar, and that Lucarelli is due to arrive in Italy any day now.

With Dejan Stankovic returning to full training earlier this week, and rehab and fitness work for old men Luis Figo and Patrick Vieira apparently going well back Milan while the team were away partying in Dubai, Inter are reportedly reevaluating their move for Atletico Madrid midfielder Maniche.

That's going to have to wait until 2009, though, because Luis Figo's agent is talking about the MLS rumors, and has more or less said they're crap. Which, obviously, could be Clever Agent-Style Deceit, but also could mean there's nothing going on right now. Whatever it means, the agent and and Figo himself clearly have shared talking points, because they both refer to the stories as "suppositions" or "speculation," rather than "fabrications," or "fantasies" or, say, "lies.

Since we don't have a Catania blogger, there's not as much talk around here about their Peruvian beast, Juan Manuel Vargas as there probably should be. RomaChris and I both pimp him whenever we get the opportunity, but when you play for a small club and for a decidedly non-glamorous national team, it's hard to get much attention.

•Last year, Chelsea were among the clubs tracking Marek Hamsik, but they weren't willing to pay Brescia price and the Slovak went to Napoli for €5.5 million, where he's turned in a stellar first half. The 20-year-old has been so impressive, in fact, that Roman Abramovich is supposedly readying a bid of €16 million for his services, just in time to help fill the giant hole being left in Chelsea by the African Cup of Nations.

•Holy crap, Alberto Aquilani made it through a match! Quick, wrap him and cotton wool and put him away until the weekend.

•As Jeremy reported this morning, Cagliari are doing their level best to convince themselves (and anyone else who cares) that Pasquale Foggia isn't leaving the club.

Like clockwork, the Karim Benzema To Milan story has come back around, again thanks to something the kid himself has told the press. Two months ago, Benzema included Milan on a list of teams that he said, rather romantically, "make him dream." And, this time, the story is a similar one: Now an old man of 20, Benzema spoke to La Gazzetta yesterday and, during the interview, made the rather spectacular error of again combining in the words "Milan" and "dream.

They may spend most of their time making things up, but it's hard to deny that the people at Marca have a way with words, even when those words are fed through Google translate. Today, they're banging on again about Milan's obsession with one Sergio Ramos, something they seem prepared to do every two months, just to keep things interesting.

•As Roswitha pointed out in the comments, it's being reported that Inter are preparing to make Luis Jimenez's move to the club permanent by buying him from Ternana. Given Jimenez's performances since Mancini was forced to give him a chance this seems pretty much inevitable, but there's no indication in the press of when it's going to happen; whenever it does, the price is said to be around €10 million.

Despite the rise of young players like Cristian Molinaro and Giorgio Chiellini, and resurgent old men like Nicola Legrottaglie, even the most passionate Juve supporters will agree the team could use a big time defender or two to shore things up at the back.

As of this morning, Christian Riganò is still in Spain. He's stuck on the bottom of La Liga with the hapless Levante nine points behind their nearest rivals with a goal difference of -22, twice that of the next-worst losing week after week, and not getting paid. Everyone at the club has already given up hope, and they're on the verge of crashing out of the Copa del Rey, too why ever would he want to leave?

I'm irredeemably biased when it comes to Bobo Vieri, but based on the first half today, I think anyone could see why Cesare Prandelli prefers him to Giampaolo Pazzini right now: He plays simple and smart and, mostly importantly links up really well with Adrian Mutu, who is indesputably the focus of the Fiorentina attack.

•Even though we're still months from the start of Euro 2008, it's evidently not too early to think about World Cup qualifying, as the schedule of qualifying fixtures was announced today (and how delightfully optimistic of C4 to illustrate their story with a picture of Roberto Donadoni).

Sory this is so epic, I'm headed to the airport and wanted to pull together as much as I could before I'm at the mercy of the FAA and the weather. God only knows when I'll get home.

•RomaChris has done a great Roma rumor roundup, including such diverse (and occasionally bizarre) names as Arjen Robben, Santiago Solari, Fabio Liverani and Javier Saviola.

God damn, but Sven Goran Eriksson really, really wants Mancini. I still don't get it, but he's not backing off that insane rumor of a couple days ago, which suggested he'd be willing to package Rolando Bianchi and a mint in exchange for the Brazilian's services.

•The rumor mill tells us that Milan are planning a meeting with Emre's agent today. The Turk an ex-Inter player, you may recall is a reasonable man and therefore wants out of Newcastle, and Carlo Ancelotti is supposedly a big fan, Inter past notwithstanding.

•The Maniche deal now done enough to be officially address by Inter functionaries keeps getting pushed back. For a while, he as arriving last night and having his medical today. Now, while he's supposedly in Milan, the medical and contract won't happen until tomorrow. But he's still joining Inter (without the must-buy clause that was in the original Atletico Madrid proposal).

In the only Coppa Italia match played yesterday, Juve managed to overcome both Empoli and the presence of Jean-Alain Boumsong (He lives!) and Tiago Mendes in their own team to win 5-3, a result that put them through to the quarters by the completely loony aggregate score of 6-5.

The rumors about Amauri going to either Juve or Milan continue to float around, but for now the only person Palermo are selling is Franco Brienza, who is expected to join Reggina later today.

The 28-year-old has been with Palermo since 2000, when they were still down in Serie C1 and, if Wikipedia is to be believed, he is (or rather was) the only man left at the club who remembers those days.

•The first FIFA rankings of 2008 are out, and nothing has changed among the top three it's still Argentina, Brazil and Italy, in that order let alone the top 18. (The US did, however, manage to drop down to 20, having been passed by Nigeria. I'm not laughing. Well, I am, but only a little.)

•Everyone in Italy and England are talking about this tax investigation into Fabio Capello, and his alleged offshore accounts.