If reports out of Russia are to be believed --and honestly I'm not sure I believe anything written in an alphabet with such a shocking resemblance to Wing Dings-- Dema Kovalenko is hanging up his blood-stained boots and retiring. If you are a fan of any of the club's he's played for I think you know the sadness I'm feeling right now.

And when I say weird, I'm talking communist footie cartoon-weird. Who's in?