Randomness - Recent posts

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Gallery: Cheryl Cole 2010 Calendar

The Offside - Chelsea 20 November @ 10:24 PM EST

Here are a few selected shots from Mrs. Cashley's 2010 calendar. Scalding. Check out Popoholic for more photos.

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Video: Cesc is a loveable pony

The Offside - Chelsea 20 November @ 10:16 PM EST

Non Chelsea-related post: Well, not really. We play Voyeur's men in a little more than a week.

Quite hilarious advert from the Arsenal in support of their fundraising campaign this term. Cesc as a cute and cuddly pony is spot on; Theo as a lion, not so much. Never thought I'd say this, but well done Arsenal.

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Video: Cesc is a lovable pony

The Offside - Chelsea 20 November @ 10:16 PM EST

Non Chelsea-related post: Well, not really. We play Voyeur's men in a little more than a week.

Quite hilarious advert from the Arsenal in support of their fundraising campaign this term. Cesc as a cute and cuddly pony is spot on; Theo as a lion, not so much. Never thought I'd say this, but well done Arsenal.

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Raise a pint for the Irish, they deserve it.

The Offside - Chelsea 18 November @ 07:40 PM EST

"Those that doubted football's cruelty ought to have been on hand here in Paris."
-David Hytner of the Guardian, following Ireland's 1-1 draw (2-1 aggregate loss) to France on Wednesday.


Applaud these men.

This is obviously a non Chelsea-related post, but I don't care.

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Belated: Get well, Carlo

The Offside - Chelsea 15 November @ 07:53 PM EST

You guys know the deal by now. Former Chelsea keeper Carlo Cudicini suffered career-threatening injuries in a motorcycle crash last week. Cudicini, now at Tottenham, had successful surgery on Friday and is expected to make a "good recovery." Excellent news.

We at Chelsea Offside wish you the best, Carlo.

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Team News: Bos out for three months

The Offside - Chelsea 11 November @ 11:45 PM EST

Bosingwa ruled out for three months
Via the official Web site: "Chelsea Football Club can confirm that José Bosingwa underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left knee this week. His recovery time will be approximately three months."

S***. At least we have an in-form Branislav Ivanovic to continue in his absent.

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The infamous teeth brusher

The Offside - Chelsea 10 November @ 03:16 PM EST

While Chelsea were cleaning up on the field, David was, too in the stands.

In what surely has to be considered one of the great moments in Stamford Bridge history, if not footballing history, the man we all now know broke out the ol' toothbrusher for a quick cleanse in the final minutes of Sunday's 1-0 home win over Manchester United.

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Getting to know our new chief executive

The Offside - Chelsea 05 November @ 10:45 PM EST

Via the official Web site...

Tell us your background as a player in Scotland.
My footballing background goes back many years. I was a player in my younger days and I had a number of trials around some of the local teams, but never really made it onto the big stage. I was a big fan of football as well.

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Worthless Referees, Pt. 2

The Offside - Chelsea 03 November @ 04:41 PM EST

This two men are one and the same.

Guess where I found this pic. On a Barca web site, of course.

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We Want You! Chelsea Offside seeking a second writer

The Offside - Chelsea 28 October @ 11:47 PM EST

Duders. I think it's been obvious over the past couple of months that my productivity levels with regard to this blog have fallen. New commitments have forced me to stretch myself a tad too thin. Of course, my quality of writing is still pristine you know it to be true but I really want to start bombarding the people with a plethora of intelligent, insightful, satirical, comedic, humorous, pompous, demented, borderline insane material.

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Excellent! The Guardian loves the Chels

The Offside - Chelsea 28 October @ 11:32 PM EST

Via the Guardian (of course), following our 5-0 demoltion of Blackburn on the weekend ...

"The oversimplified reading of a diamond formation* suggests that any success is significantly dependent on the excellence of attacking full-backs. Yet Chelsea were without Ashley Cole and Jose Bosingwa when they obliterated Blackburn at the weekend.

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Photoshop of the decade

The Offside - Chelsea 20 October @ 05:04 PM EST

Here I was, about to discuss our fallacies at Villa Park with a CL preview to follow when I come across this atrocity. Cue the projectile vomiting. Your thirst for sensationalism knows no bounds, Daily Mail. I thank you.

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Forget Football Is Fixed Phase 3.0; Feel Fantabulous About Football Is Fixed Phase 4.0

football is fixed 16 October @ 02:17 AM EST
In this time of flux, we made some changes to the Football Is Fixed blog at the beginning of the month with the introduction of microcharging for content.
Having had a couple of weeks to assess the new structure, we have unilaterally claimed primary prerogative to make some further alterations. Click to continue reading...

Sutton gets a gig?

The Offside - Chelsea 29 September @ 04:23 PM EST

Infamous Chelsea flop Chris Sutton has been appointed manager at Lincoln City.

Sutton moved to Chelsea from Blackburn in 1999 for a cool £10 million following Rovers' relegation. He proceeded to net just one goal in 26 league appearances. He was even left out of the squad for the Blues' FA Cup Final win in 2000.

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Did Kilimanjaro conquer Roman?

The Offside - Chelsea 14 September @ 07:01 PM EST

What we know is that the Chelsea owner and a group of his finest friends the Daily Mail reckons more than 100, including former Blues boss and current Russia manager Guus Hiddink were in Tanzania last week to test their limits with a expedition up Africa's highest peak: Mount Kilimanjaro.

Now is where stories vary.

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Jesus Drogba Superstar

The Offside - Chelsea 09 September @ 09:55 PM EST

Chelsea supporters know all too well the defensive contribution made by one Didier Drogba. What we weren't aware of was the Drogs' Jesus-like view of himself in this light.

"I often sacrifice myself for the good of the team," Drogba said, where and to whom I have no idea.

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Farewell to a true professional

The Offside - Chelsea 31 August @ 02:17 PM EST

Andriy Shevchenko is finally ending his time at Chelsea. The Ukranian agreed to return to former club Dynamo Kiev three day ago, the club where it all started for him some 15 years prior.

I, for one, am going to miss him. I have always enjoyed Sheva. Sure his time in London was nothing short of a nightmare.

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Al-Ahli goes all Ric Flair at Cobham

The Offside - Chelsea 26 August @ 08:40 PM EST

See, this is what happens when you show a little hospitality. Chelsea offers up its training ground in Cobham to Al-Ahli, even agrees to participate in a match with the Middle Eastern club.

Their thanks? Pulling out the Ric Flair rake of the eyes on Gael Kakuta. Clotheslining Jeff Bruma.

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A match made in heaven: KG & Chelsea

The Offside - Chelsea 20 August @ 06:56 PM EST

Remember when future NBA hall of famer, original member of OBF (Original Black Family), Kevin Garnett received that Chelsea jersey not too long ago. The man went absolutely crazy. We, at The Chelsea Offside, love him for it  despite our well-documented hate for the Boston Celtics.

Now, one of the originals to jump from high school straight to the pros has floored us once again.

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Ronaldo’s Gift To Fabio ….

Futbolita 18 August @ 12:01 AM EST

via GETTYIMAGES

Ok chicas, this story cracked us up and the randomness of it all is mind-blowing! Yes, it appears that Greaseano has moved out of his luxurious Cheshire mansion and left Futbolito Fabio a gift.

"He left a refrigerator at his house and mine was broken, so I got his.

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BBC presents highlights of Chesterfield v Girl on a Toilet

Dirty Tackle 10 August @ 03:08 PM EST

The BBC debuted a new late night football highlight show aptly titled "Football League Show" last night, but don't let the boring title and worn territory of sports highlight shows fool you the world's largest broadcaster has taken a unique approach to the old format.

While showing highlights from Saturday's League Two clash between Torquay and Chesterfield at 12:50 am last night, the video inexplicably cuts to a scene from the surfer girl flick Blue Crush just as Kate Bosworth sits down on a toilet (0:42 into the video above).

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Poll: Who is Chelsea’s most important player?

The Offside - Chelsea 03 August @ 07:59 PM EST

I don't know if you heard, but there was this small announcement a couple of weekends ago from England's Brave John Terry. JT committed himself to the Chelsea cause after minor flirtation which he denies for some odd reason with the idea of joining the Manchester City empire.

Now, former Blue Mateja Kezman has chimed in on the subject via an exclusive interview with skysports.

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Mutu told to pay up

The Offside - Chelsea 02 August @ 01:51 PM EST

This week, the Court of Arbitration for Sport rejected Adrian Mutu's appeal against an order to pay Chelsea damages after his sacking in 2004 for riding the white horse.

Having a snowcone. Dating the peruvian lady. Taking a sleigh ride. You get the idea.

Mutu, who was with the Blues for one season (03-04), now must cough up £14.

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RSVP: Chelsea v Milan

The Offside - Chelsea 23 July @ 10:13 PM EST

Are you like me?

No, I'm not talking about being handsome, charming and utterly hilarious. I'm talking about the match Friday.


Anyone want to hang with Omar while in Bmore?

Are you going to see Chelsea v. AC Milan in Baltimore? I know I am, and I want to meet up with you for a drink.

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Uncanny: Mikel v Stay Puft

The Offside - Chelsea 23 July @ 12:55 AM EST

Congratulations to John Obi for inking a new long-term deal with the club on Wednesday. The kid is a remarkable talent, and we're glad to have him for the foreseeable future.

This, though, this is uncanny. Separated at birth?

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Chance would be a fine thing

Craven Cottage Newsround 21 July @ 04:34 PM EST

Good discussion brewing on regression to the mean (~randomness) in sports at USS Mariner.

Sites like USS Mariner have shaped a lot of the way I think about sport; this is a good example of an occasion where the media is looking for a reason when in the real world it's just sport gremlining away with its usual ups and downs.

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Post of the year? Virgin(s) loathe CFC

The Offside - Chelsea 14 July @ 09:20 PM EST

Ten reasons Chelsea are disliked

Have fun with this one guys.

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Happy belated Mrs. Ashley Cole!

The Offside - Chelsea 04 July @ 08:37 PM EST

We at Chelsea Offside would like to wish Cheryl Cole a happy belated 26th Birthday ...

Damn. Do your thang, girl.

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Follow Chelsea Offside on Twitter

The Offside - Chelsea 04 July @ 01:19 PM EST

It pains me to say it, but Chelsea Offside has joined the so-called Twitter "revolution."

I, for one, despise the service. Do I really need to know when Ashton Kutcher is dropping a deuce? I think not.

Still, I think it may expose what we do here to a few more people as well as making it perhaps a little easier for those who have been following Chelsea Offside to keep up with updates.

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Ladies & Gents, Mr. & Mrs. Joe Cole!

The Offside - Chelsea 23 June @ 06:24 PM EST

Joey Boy and sweetheart Carly Zucker wed Saturday in a £3 million extravaganza that featured Joey belting out some of Oasis' greatest hits on the karaoke stage. Even cooler, the couple sold the wedding rights to Hello magazine and are donating the fee, around £2 million, to charity.

Here at Chelsea Offside, we'd like to offer our congratulations to the newleyweds.

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Tippeliga round 14: Decent day for the doomed and the desperate

Nordic Fotoball News 22 June @ 04:48 PM EST

13 games in and there are three teams in particular who look like they could be heading for doom and despair (or the Adeccoliga, as some call it), but amidst the casual randomness of the Tippeliga few things are ever certain and on matchday 14 all three of those teams picked up points..

Leading the line of the troubled threesome is Lyn, who even by their standards face a remarkably bleak set of circumstances.

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England’s Brave John Terry now planet’s best father

The Offside - Chelsea 20 June @ 07:46 PM EST

On the cusp of Father's Day, it's only appropriate to gaze upon the greatest dad on earth, Chelsea defender John Terry.

Terry, father of the father of 3-year-old twins, Georgie John and Summer Rose, beat out reigning champion Peter Andre in a UK poll of adults sponsored by Daddies Sauce to become Dad of the Year.

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And the award for worst piece of journalism…

The Offside - Chelsea 20 June @ 07:30 PM EST

... of the year goes to Rod Liddle of the Times! Congrats guy!

The so-called journalist's latest drivel attempts emphasis on attempts to drive a stake through Chelsea supporters' hearts with a blend of humor, sarcasm and downright hatred. It's a fairly poor attempt to be fair no, actually this is ghastly.

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