People frequenting this small online settlement will be well-aware that I get jittery as fuck when big games come along. Arsenal have proved themselves to be flaccid and impotent on many occasions in the past; slipping, sliding, making elementary mistakes and prompting the inception of cringe-worthy wordplay jokes, perennially fuelling my jitters in the process.

By Chris Wright

Western New York Flash beat Philadelphia Independence on penalties to lift their first WPS title in their inaugural year on Saturday though, aside from the soccerball on show and Alex Morgan's innate loveliness, the game was memorable for other reasons namely a completely batchy squirrel that invaded the pitch in the first-half and set up base camp in Philly's goal-area, ran in circles for nine minutes and then left under a cardboard box.

In the age of the microwave culture, with the spectre of media hyperbole dangling grimly in front of us like King Kong's nutsack, every week is an enormous week for a club like Arsenal. Every result has permanent ramifications; every fluctuation of fortune is intransient and every whisper of discontent has the tabloids reaching into their clipart files for the broken cannon graphic.

Now This Game Was a Real "Puta" " Union City Blue
On Saturday night the Union suffered its second disturbing result in a row with a 1-0 loss to the Vancouver Whitecaps at Empire Field. This loss follows on the heels of a disappointing 1-1 tie at home to Real Salt Lake.

The Philly Soccer Page " Player ratings and analysis: Whitecaps 1-0 Union

To start off, we must tip our hats to Alain Rochat.

Newcastle United midfielder Joey Barton may have some contract issues but Kevin Nolan is keen for him to stay at the club. I have a stinking cold, which will probably turn into rabies, and I overslept, so I'm not feeling too chatty at the moment. I will therefore simply get down to business and report [.

"You are safe to play The Crew now"

The first photo-op of any preseason is of eager (well, mostly eager) players arriving at their club and getting ready for their annual medical. Down at BMO Field, Toronto FC's crack medical team will be putting the Reds, both old a new, through their paces to make sure they are up to scratch.