PR disasters

hell

EJ's Wife Accussed of Crashing into EJ's Car Outside Hotel

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Just two days ago I asked someone where the hell Eddie Johnson was. Apparently the answer is "in hot water with his missus." Who knows what was playing on the car stereo at the time but Big Pun might be back in rotation this morning.

Video: Dear Mr. Hicks

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Dear sweet Moses this is powerful stuff. Hollywood filmmaker and Liverpool fan Mike Jefferies, the man behind the Goal! trilogy, spent the week in Liverpool making this video as part of a campaign to let fans express their desire to see the club's American owners, Tom Hicks and George Gillett, get the hell away from Anfield.

Freak Shows

ABOUT BIG LETTERS

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THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME CONCERN AMONG BOTH FRIENDS AND STRANGERS ALIKE AS TO MY CURRENT PENCHANT FOR CAPITALIZATION. IT COULD WELL BE BECAUSE THIS IS, TO SOME, A SOCCER BLOG AND THAT'S WHAT MANY OF US SOCCER BLOGGERS DO: YELL AND MAKE NOISE ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING WHETHER IT NEEDS TO BE A BIG DEAL OR NOT BECAUSE, JUST LIKE TNT, WE KNOW DRAMA.

Sepp Blatter is Crazy Y'all

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Sepp Blatter is crazy and not just because John Ameachi says so. He's crazy for requesting that homosexualists refrain from sex during the Qatar World Cup because, let's be real here, it doesn't matter if you are gay or straight: if you are paying these prices for a hotel room you are damn sure going to try to make out with somebody in it.

Soccer Cat Fights: Is 2 Officially a Trend?

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My brothers from another mother, Unprofessional Foul, pointed out today that this whole girlfight thing is getting well out of hand in ladies soccer at the moment. If a magical third incident occurs in the next 10 days you can be damn sure Oprah will do a show on it, Judy Foudy will have to testify before congress and Lil Jon will have a go at reigniting Brooke Valentine's "career" with a remix of "Girlfight" featuring 16 bars from Elizabeth Lambert.

Video: Riot Squad Member Takes The Beckham Challenge

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And you thought New York had beef with Beckham last week? Please. Hatred from the opposing fans is one thing, but hatred from the home supporters who feel a bit like a woman scorned is some whole other sh*t. After enduring more than a little stick from the Riot Squad during last night's friendly versus AC Milan, Becks apparently lost the plot for a minute and challenged a fan to take it outside --or take it to the field as it were since they were already outside.

Beckham Takes Manhattan: The Final Post

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Sorry to bring up old sh*t but the Grant Wahl intro, subtitled response and closing comments to this video really makes it worth the rewind. Add this to his SI.com piece today and I think people will cease to remember the feud with Donovan pretty quicky because all the talk may soon be of his feud with Grant Wahl.

Wild, No Buckwild, Hawks Remind Sounders Whose House They Are Playing In

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a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27365656@N06/3365727224/" title="HawkSeattle by designatedplayers, on Flickr"img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3554/3365727224_7feb3d4179.jpg" alt="HawkSeattle" width="500" height="299" //abr /br /span style="font-style: italic;""Nothing ruins an opening night like bird carcasses strewn about the stadium.

Beckham Transfer Debacle May Have Reached It's Conclusion

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So the LA Times is reporting that Brand Beckham, LA Galaxy & AC Milan have worked out some bizarre scenario to get everyone what they want; Milan gets Becks for the remainder of the season, Becks gets out of LA (eventually) and LA still gets to milk the man for all he is worth.
The basic rundown is that he finishes the season in Milan, sits out six weeks waiting for the MLS transfer window to open on July 15th.

Videos

Øyvind Alsaker Now Norway's Most Famous Announcer For All the Wrong Reasons

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Y'all ever heard of Steve Clark? No, not the one from Def Lepard but the American kid that play in Norway. Yeah, me neither. Anywho, he got a start over the weekend and the announcer, Øyvind Alsaker, didn't realize his mic was hot while expressing his views on Clark, one of Clark's black teammates and his opinion that rural people get their lady's preggers earlier.

Hey Portland, Fadi Afash Wants Your Forgiveness

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Will you give it to him? Or are you all just like "naw, f*ck that dude"?

Back in the Day Video: The ABC News Hooligan Expose

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Remember when ABC News traveled deep into darkest Derbyshire to warn us all that the sports world knows no greater scourge than the drunken, English football fan? Sheila MacVicar tried to warn us y'all and yet somehow a small, ridiculous minority of American soccer fans decided not to listen and still spend their Saturday's playing hooligan much to the confusion and derision of normal, passionate, sane soccer fans.

Video: Real Talk From Landon Donovan

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I saw this clip on Sportscenter and nearly spit out my drink*. It's one thing for The Beckham Experiment to get all this attention in the soccersphere but it's some whole other sh*t for it to make it on to ESPN. Maybe John Anderson is right; Oprah's couch --with an assist from Dr. Phil-- just might be the place to get this beef squashed.

St. Louis

AC St. Louis: This Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

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Can I make a recommendation? Yes? Good. You should buy an AC St. Louis pint glass today and I'll give you four reasons why.
  1. It's Friday. And Friday night is alright for pints.
  2. At $25 a pop it's such a big F-U to sensible shopping during a recession that you kind of have to buy it or the economic terrorists have won.

AC St. Louis Mascot First Real Fallout from the Demise of Nelly's Career

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AC St. Louis is rapidly becoming the funniest thing in American soccer since Dwight Schrute was in those Nike ads a few years ago. In an uncomfortable comedy move that Michael Scott would surely approve of, fans of the team have dubbed an unofficial mascot "Chickenhead"; there is even a Facebook page dedicated to this "OMFG are you kidding me" achievement.

Brand Beckham

The Beckham Experiment: Further Reading

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With less than a week out from the release of Grant Wahl's The Beckham Experiment, further revealations come to us via The Associated Press. Among them are that ESPN paid Beckham's Management to produce an hour-long TV special in 2007, Alexi Lala's over-ruled the voting results and gave the team MVP award to Chris Klein which allegedly cost Landon Donovan $25,000 in bonus cash and that David Beckham is good to stay in the Seacaucus Sheraton (which, let's be honest, most of us are).

SI's Exceprt from The Beckham Experiment

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I may or may not post anything else today; the ocean is down the street from me and is shcokingly warm for June so I may make a move toward open water this afternoon. But if this is the last post of the day I am fine, fine, fine with that because it's a good post. Or at least it links to something good.

Chicago Fire

Blanco y Marrufo: This Maybe Sorta Kinda Looks Sketchy

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It may turn out not to be as sketchy as it seems on paper but this kinda looks sketchy. Between Carver's comments and this, MLS officiating is really having a rough week. Maybe it'd be a good idea to cancel this week's games and send all the guys with FIFA badges on their shirts to a spa or something in Sonoma to unwind with a bottle of chardonnay.

Could There Be a Worse Time to Sell Tickets to See Club America?

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Typically I would not expect CBS2 Chicago to give a Bridgeview rat's ass about a foreign club arriving in town to play an exhibition game at Toyota Park. But when that club is coming straight in from Mexico City in the midst of Swine Flu hysteria...people, do I even have to say it?

Ain't that something?

The Rest

The Danny Szetela Mugshot

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Can you believe this? Dude appears to actually be wearing a snood in his mugshot! I mean what are the odds?! Well it's good to know that even if he is not playing he is, at the very least, keeping up with the sports' latest apparel trends.

There is a Good Chance That I May Not Be Cool With the World Cup

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See that truck above? It's a prop from the film District 9, which is a great piece of art/paranoid, sci-fi goodness. See this truck below? It's a riot control vehicle on what is effectively a forced residency camp in South Africa and there is nothing good about it.



Read this article from France24 about "Blikkiesdorp", a place with an eery resemblance to the fictional alien shantytown of D9 and residents who call it a "concentration camp.

Shalrie Going All Winehouse? Say It Ain't So!

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When I read a few days ago that Shalrie Joseph was taking a leave of absence from the Revs, my guess was that it may have been related to family issues or something like that. This didn't even register as a possibility.

This thing could kinda go one of two ways: it could go the route of "Uh Oh" Joe Franchino, the last Revs player I know of to take a "leave of absence", or Santino "The Saint" Quaranta who dealt with his demons, currently has his sh*t together and is still working.

RBNY Allegedly Close to Signing Luke "Rap Sheet" Rodgers

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So word on the street is that RBNY is trying to make an 11th hour move for Notts County striker Luke Rodgers before the MLS transfer window closes on April 15th. If you've never heard of him you'd be forgiven as he's spent the bulk of his career in the English lower divisions playing for the likes of Shrewsbury Town, Port Vale and the mighty Yeovil Town.

Argentine League Delayed Due to Brokeassed-ness

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Now this is scary. The financials are so bad within the Argentine league that next week's scheduled kickoff has been delayed indefinitely. You know the recent AFL demise began with a suspension of one season and it doesn't look set to recover. I'm not saying it's going to happen but I'm just saying that there is an outside chance it could happen.

WTF? Jaqua Sued For Sexual Assault?

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I bit my tongue and refrained from comment during a similar episode earlier in the season but this time it's the current MLS Player of the Week (last time it was MLS Player of the Month). But how does this happen twice in a season to the same team (and at the same position even)? However it plays out, this is truly sad sh*t.

Eric Wynalda x Booze x Facebook

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We all know the dangers of drunken text messaging but I think as we move deeper into the age of connectivity we need to pause for a moment to acknowledge the dangers of drunken Facebook status updates.

My man KK noticed via Deadspin that Eric Wynalda had something of a late-night, 3 martini meltdown after watching the Yanks lose to Italy and felt it was best that he share it with America.

Fijian Soccer Players Beleive That Weed Will Improve Their Game

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Fijian footie players are smoking that sh*t. Like really, they are all on drugs... according to 8 of 10 league presidents. This could be a good thing as it may help them get a shirt sponsorship from Rizzla or maybe even White Castle. Do they have White Castle in the South Pacific?

Macfarlane Dumps Share in D.C. United to Partner

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Damn y'all. Dude couldn't get what he really wanted --a real estate development, not a soccer team-- and has hit the road back to San Francisco. On one hand it could be a good thing to drop some dead weight if the remaining partners are really committed. But on the other hand...well, the other hand the stadium situation must be next to impossible for land shark like him to walk away.

Seriously T Dot, WTF?

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I've been avoiding mentioning a few recent TFC fan-related incidents because A) everyone else was talking about it, B) and the topic was getting waaay overblown to the point of near-glamorization. But really, can we rein it in a little Canuckistan? Not all of you obviously as most of you are model citizens.

And Speaking of the Press...

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a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27365656@N06/3365936176/" title="Paper by designatedplayers, on Flickr"img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3540/3365936176_f534ae7eec_o.jpg" alt="Paper" width="500" height="325" //abr /br /What does it say about the sad, sad state of the traditional media that in the same week that the Seattle Post-Intelligencer a style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);" href="http://www.