Hoyte-y toity The undoubted highlight of Sunderland's extra-time FA Cup victory over local rivals Middlesbrough last night was this bizarre slide tackle on Boro defender Justin Hoyte from a pitch invader. A couple of morons ran onto the pitch. One of them lost his footing behind Hoyte and ended up sliding through the back of [.

A cat-themed team to celebrate last night's pitch invader at Anfield 1. Pussy Whiskerlainen 2. Kevin Muscat 3. Anton Furdinand 4. Claws Lundekvam 5. Darren Purrse 6. Lee Cattermole 7. Dirk Cat 8. Marouane Felinei 9. Dave Kitten 10. Tabby Agbonlahor 11. Ryo Miaowchi Manager: Kenny Dogleash (a cat's best friend)

Football is the world's game, but like any sport, it's appeal is not fully universal. The Internet, meanwhile, has proven that two things are more popular than all else: pornography and cats. And since mixing pornography with football would run against numerous public indecency laws in various parts of the world, that means football executives have no choice but to add cats to the game in order to push it to the next level.

There was an usual pitch invader at Anfield this evening when the Liverpool v Spurs match fell victim to a feline hooligan!

A pitch invader managed to handcuff himself to Joe Hart's goalpost during Everton's Premier League match against Manchester City at Goodison Park. The match was halted for about five minutes as police had to bring out a set of bolt cutters to pry the agitated man off the pitch.

His reasoning for the protest didn't seem to have anything to do with the game or the clubs involved, though.

Photo via @TheKeogh

Late in the first half of today's Everton - Manchester City match at Goodison Park in Liverpool, an individual invaded the pitch and handcuffed himself to a goalpost. Not sure why this man was handcuffing himself to a goalpost, but it only took a few minutes to get some bolt cutters and remove the man from the pole.

Photo by ISIphotos.com

For the U.S. men's and women's national teams, it's a big weekend.

The women kick off their qualifying campaign for the 2012 Olympics Friday night in Canada, going up against the Dominican Republic. Just a couple of days later, Pia Sundhage's charges are at it again, facing Guatemala and hoping to secure maximum points before a final group showdown with Mexico.

... the blackmail gone wrong, the betting slip, the former drug dealer, a peripheral company with a grudge, the jilted girlfriend, the jilted boyfriend, Gigi Becali, a private bank collapse, that bitter enemy, a money laundering court case, the state choosing to tax the sector, Berezovsky about Abramovich, the secretary who really didn't appreciate that grope at the xmas party, mainstream journalists choosing to write truth rather than absolute shite, a dropped player, Poland/Ukraine informational leak, a phone hack, the nosey neighbours of a Robbie Savage type avotar, an email hack, a private bookmaker to gain market share, a burglary, that hidden camera, a robbery, that cash pile photographed as it was being placed in the envelope, a maverick, the abused daughter, UEFA exercise their grudge against the EPL, a sacked employee, France, that guy with the bullet mike in that silver van across the way, Eire, an IT man who just happened to leave a sleeping cookie on the machine, Wales, the woman in the next hotel room, Scotland, Jeremy Clarkson to sell a feckin' book of reactionary garbage, Germany, a French postmodernist with an aptitude for the spectacular, Jamaica, a pitch invader/streaker, a goalscorer on his t-shirt, India, a Black Swan, GamCare, a cornered market, a hyperreal illusionist, Pakistan, a high class call girl, an accidental 'cc', Zimbabwe, somebody who has discovered Nietzsche or Zizek or Chomsky or Baudrillard, someone in the right casino but at the wrong time, Haiti, an ex-insider who finds God or Morals or Both or Whatever, the EU, Putin (he got the World Cup, what must he know?

Oh, what could have been.

Despite initial reports claiming that Eric Cantona would be seeking the French presidency, the Manchester United legend has dropped out of the race. The initial announcement was instead a carefully orchestrated ploy to raise awareness about public housing for France's lower class.

By Chris Wright

You may remember, not so very long ago, when the KNVB Cup match between Ajax and Alkmaar had to be abandoned after just 38 minutes when Alkmaar 'keeper Esteban Alvarado was red-carded (it was later rescinded) for knocking a drunken pitch-invader on his arse and then belting the living daylights out of the 19-year old hoodlum as he sprawled on the turf.

The Dutch pitch invader who attempted to kick AZ Alkmaar goalie Esteban Alvarado before finding himself on the receiving end of a couple of kicks from Alvarado has been sent to prison for six months. The incident made headlines not only for the nature of the attack, but also because Alvarado was sent-off [.

As if it couldn't get crazier, Ajax has filed a police report with the finding that last night's jerkface pitch invader should have never been allowed into the stadium. The 19-year old was already handed a stadium ban for prior trouble with stewards. As it turns out, this fantastically stupid person has set himself for criminal charges well beyond what I originally anticipated thanks to his

By Chris Wright

Here's a little firecracker to start the morning off. Last night's last-16 tie in the KNVB Cup between Ajax and AZ Alkmaar had to be abandoned after just 38 minutes (with Ajax leading 1-0) after an incident involving a pitch invader caused the away side to leave the field in protest.

AZ Alkmaar's Dutch Cup match with Ajax pitted two of the Netherlands' top teams against each other and figured to produce some fireworks. Just not like this.

With Ajax leading 1-0 in the 36th minute, a fan raced from the stands at Amsterdam ArenA and went after AZ goalkeeper Esteban, who defended himself by kicking the fan on the ground.

Wheelchair pitch invader! Giggs hypnotises Berba! Old lady takes on Ancelotti! Our 50 funniest football videos of 2011 part three

Every day at 3PM, MirrorFootball brings you the day's funniest football videos in our 3PM Extra feature. Here is our personal choice of the best foul-ups, fouls, fails and four-letter words from 2011.

Wheelchair pitch invader! Giggs hypnotises Berba! Old lady takes on Ancelotti! Our 50 funniest football videos of 2011 part three

Every day at 3PM, MirrorFootball brings you the day's funniest football videos in our 3PM Extra feature. Here is our personal choice of the best foul-ups, fouls, fails and four-letter words from 2011.

As far as pitch invasions go, there's Jimmy Jump, Antonio Cassano's BFF (Mario Ferri) and any moderately attractive willing to expose her bouncy parts to the elements. That's all that comes to the top of the head, anyway.

It matters not, as the hierarchy has been destroyed. This unnamed pitch invader, possibly Bond, James or Bourne, Jason, dropped in on the Sparta Prague Viktoria Plzen (big game on the Czech calendar) at the half.

Just missing his fluorescent jacket Jake Livermore is becoming an increasingly regular fixture in the Tottenham midfield. And that means that sooner or later he will have to give up his first love: match stewarding. But he indulged in a bit of on-pitch security action as he helped to detain a pitch invader during last [.

Spurs: Cudicini; Fredericks; Gallas (Parrett); Bassong; Townsend; Falque; Livermore; Carroll; Pienaar; Pavlyuchenko (Kane); Defoe

Tonights game at Central Stadium was always going to be tough for Spurs, no matter which team had been picked. Rubin Kazan have some experienced heads from Russian League and European football and they showed it with a commanding performance against a Spurs team that had a mix of youth and experience.

Watch pitch invader punch defender in the head, Lavezzi pass to a sub and KPB's Peter Andre impression

Presenting quality football videos from the interweb, daily at 3pm. Here's today's collection: 1) And we start in the Romanian top flight today (where else?) with a match between Steaua Bucharest and Petrolul Ploiesti that might charitably be called 'rambunctious'.

Photo Credit: US SoccerThe Women's Professional Soccer Final witnessed a squirrel on the field and so did the National League Division Series in St. Louis, but last night's pitch invader during the United States' game against Honduras was a slicker, slimier fella.
It was certainly raining cats and dogs last night in Miami, Florida so this frog really isn't all that surprising!

Rubbish assailant Using the most rudimentary evidence at your disposal in this video you will able to deduce that the well-built pitch invader intent on taking a swing at the referee is not only slower than the aforementioned match official, but also slower than the stadium security. The intruder is sold a neat dummy by [.

There's nothing about this Chinese pitch invasion which isn't absolutely hilarious, from the stature of the invader himself to the painfully slow yet deft movements required by the referee to escape "bodily harm". Or the need to place hand on head as the pitch invader as he swings wildly at the referee's midsection, only hitting crisp, cool air.

Photo by Bill Barrett/ISIphotos.com

Thursday night's debut of Livestrong Sporting Park had almost everything.

Between Sporting Kansas City finally having a home game in its sparkling new stadium, a keeper sent off for deliberately handling the ball outside his own area, nine minutes of second-half stoppage time -- not to mention a pitch invader dressed as a cow -- the 0-0 draw with the Chicago Fire wasn't a garden-variety scoreless draw.

Unfortunately, the (not so) fresh (anymore) Allsvenskan season has already seen a couple of moments which could be considered less than optimal. A match was abandoned recently for flying flares, and yesterday saw Helsingborg v Malmo called for a player attack.

However, approaching a silver lining: lovely to see some solidarity among players of opposing teams, no?

David Beckham looked right at home in his Manchester United jersey.

Donning the No. 7 kit, the Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder played 90 minutes, nearly scored on a shot from distance and even caught a pitch invader late in Gary Neville's testimonial match against Juventus at Old Trafford.

Easily one of the more excellent things you'll see this week, perhaps this month.

While doing his retirement tour in the land of Chechnya, Roberto Carlos, he of world-class sheen and galactic left foot, was approached by a pitch invader, seemingly a very big fan of one of the two aforementioned biblical skills Roberto holds.

There are two things at least which we learned from El Clasico-plosion 2011.

i. Less is more.
ii. No one gets kicked like Lionel Messi. (Learned long ago, but work with me.)

Except perhaps this guy in the video above, a (presumably) Colombian pitch invader during last night's Copa Libertadores matchup between Mexico's Jaguares Chiapas and the local Atletico Junior.

Note: There is a print link embedded within this post, please visit this post to print it. | Subscribe: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Premier League in England went goal crazy last weekend, including two games with eight goals each. In the top league in Turkey a coach does a Brian Clough and punches a pitch invader.

Note: There is a print link embedded within this post, please visit this post to print it. | Subscribe: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Premier League in England went goal crazy last weekend, including two games with eight goals each. In the top league in Turkey a coach does a Brian Clough and punches a pitch invader.

Turkish club coach Umit Ozat gave us a prime example of how to protect yourself from pitch invaders, when a fan ran towards the Manisaspor coach to kick him Umit got there first with a punch which left the pitch invader flat on his back.

Though all violence is frowned upon this in our view was an act of defence rather than attack.

You may be smirking, Chris. The legions of fans who worship your abs on Kickette are not. Image via myrelationshipwithfootball.com

Like us, we are certain you like to ease into Monday morning cautiously, utilising espresso, muffins and photos of Marco Borriello naked. Anything more controversial than this sends us into a hissy fit which might potentially inhibit our capacity for football related witticisms for the entire week.

Lunatic pitch invader overcome with remorse The Sunderland supporter who is alleged to have run onto the Stadium of Light pitch and barged over Newcastle keeper Steve Harper in the wake of Asamoah Gyan's last-gasp equaliser in the Tyne-Wear derby presented himself at the Magpies' training ground today to apologise.

SUNDERLAND, England Sunderland manager Steve Bruce said a young supporter is in police custody on Sunday after running onto the pitch and appearing to push a player to the ground amid crowd trouble at the end of a Premier League match against Newcastle. The pitch invader was led away by police after confronting Newcastle [.

Cup hero takes blow Stevenage defender Scott Laird was punched to the ground by a pitch invader following the League Two side's historic FA Cup victory over Newcastle. Laird was floored by a right-hook to the face after being mobbed by supporters at the end of the 3-1 win.