Mr G trains, wears a charming shade of lilac.

Do you fancy men keeping their eyes open or closed whilst locked in a lovingly bromantic embrace?

It's a serious question that deserves serious answers, Kickettes.

Do you loff Helen's dress as much as we do? Images via Dave M. Benett/Getty Images Europe and Style.com.

Raul, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and their Schalke 04 team-mates spent the day today visiting the Auguste-Victoria coal mine in Marl, Germany to build team spirit and to show the solidarity with their supporters. Image: Reuters.

Image: planete-asm.fr.

Retired Serie A footballer turned Ligue 1 club manager, Marco Simone, has the most interesting hair style if "style" is even the right word to call it?

You think those haven't-been-washed-in-weeks strands are all really his, Kickettes? Or is this the effed up work of a hair piece?

GB's legs can only treat one customer at a time so please grab a number and get in line behind us.

Michael Ballack was sporting this immensely fetching costume when he visited The Arts Club in Mayfair on Tuesday night. David Beckham & Prince Harry were spotted outside the same as well, only one night later.

Office holiday parties. Going to any, Kickettes?

Since we already go out drinking together two to three times a week at least it's safe to say we'll probably be throwing ourselves a bash of some kind soon. Even if it's just the half dozen of us drunkenly shouting for the corner kebab stand to open up at 2 a.

David and Didier, you don't always pick up your phones when we call and we hate you for that. Please understand that we need you to be reachable at all times.

We realise this seems like a double standard since we almost always press the silent button after the first ring, no matter who the caller is.

The retired Manchester United player and his wife attended the Keith Duffy Ball at The Ritz Hotel in Ireland last night. Hubba hubba, Mrs Scholes!

Images: Adidas Football UK.

Hallelujah, UEFA Euro 2012 has officially kicked off. Many games will be played, many fine men will wear shorts whilst running. Stamina and shorts on in the summer is always a good thing.With so many matches and players to choose, where should you focus your valuable time and attention?

Nicky B. Basic, but perfectly functional. Gareth Copley/Getty Images.

Oh, the good old facepalm. So versatile, it's available in individual or multi-user varieties and the more up-to-date versions are equipped to convey a spectrum of emotions not just embarrassment when you make a heinous and very public error in your work-day.

Fernando Llorente gave us his best 'come hither' look as he modeled the official suits for Athletic Bilbao, designed by Fuentecapala. You can drool some more courtesy of the photo shoot images posted on his facebook page. Image Credit: Fernando Llorente.

Image: Inter Leaning Tumblr.

This photo of England NT manager, Fabio Capello, in his prime has reinvigorated our playful sides.

That's right, it's MTC time!

First, please read the rules. Then review your options:

A) Barcelona's Pep Quardiola then + Chelsea's Andre Villas-Boas now

OR

B) England's Fabio Capello then + Real Madrid's Jose Mourinho now

OR

C) Liverpool's Kenny Dalglish then + Manchester City's Roberto Mancini now

-

Remember: you only get your way with one of our three offerings.

The Austrian NT management have finally come up with a way to keep Marko Arnautovic out of trouble. Rumour has it Manchester City have made enquires into a similar system for Mario Balotelli. Image: REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader.

Image: REUTERS/Herwig Prammer.

He might look 14-years-old, but Heinz Lindner of the Austrian NT is actually 21 and therefore fair game for the more 'experienced' members of our beloved Kickette community.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Click here to view the embedded video.

We are not responsible for any Kickette-rs' actions that occur while watching Iker Casillas attempt to contain his emotions during a surprise video tribute at last week's SNT presser.

Saturday

- Harry Redknapp and Milan Mandaric are set to stand trial for tax evasion at Portsmouth FC in early 2012.

Steven Pienaar isn't smiling in this photo. This grimace is actually quite normal for someone being deprived of oxygen. Don't ask how we know that. Image: Tom Dulat/Getty Images for Puma.

Yet another important engagement we missed recently was the launch of Puma's kits for the Africa Cup Of Nations at the London Design Museum.

Image via walesonline.com

So (freshly-inked) Aaron Ramsey's pose is 'slightly different' than the position Gareth Bale assumed during his supportive gesture towards Team GB last week, but at least you still get a good view of the Olympic rings and games logo.

As though that's the major point of interest in either of these photographs!

Image Credit: Reproducao.

What Neymar does in his spare time is his business as well as ours.

On his off-pitch exploits, we have several points we'd like to address.

Boxers

Not that we were actively looking, but we finally have a good explanation for those furiously flexed photos of Neymar that we discovered in September.

Image via facebook.

Is this a cleverly manipulated photo (as implied by the comments on the FB page) or confirmation that the Welsh FA will simply have to get over their problem with a Team GB soccer team?

If anyone knows, it'll be the Bale aficionados who stalk this site. Are those your man's arms?

Link: Hidetoshi Nakata in GQ Japan.

Is it getting hot in here? Image Credit: Facebook.

Saturday

- Sarah Brandner turned up the heat with her latest photo shoot for none other than GQ. We still kick ourselves for turning down their internship offer in order to party our uni days away.

- Can someone please enlighten us with their (or Emmanuel Frimpong's) definition of DENCH?

Image Credit: Getty Images Europe.

Guys on the ground as well as those who are going to the ground, whether it be purposely or accidentally are generally more fun to gawk at. This isn't a question or one of curazy theories, Kickettes. It's just how the world works.

Since there's been an explosion of unhinged football flesh in various states of public showcase lately, we've elated to photo spam your places of employment while we scour the internet for 'real news'.

We're aware that Clint Dempsey was there too, but we omitted him from the comp because his bedroom eyes weren't staring straight at us. Or the camera. Either way. Image Credit: Twitter & Tumblr.

Soz about the quality of pics, Kickettes, but we figured you could all get past it for the sake of our opinion sourcing post.

Former Everton teammates and current BFFs Mikel Arteta and Tim Cahill grilled up some goodies last Thursday night. We smell what they're cookin'. And we want more. Image via @Tim_Cahill

Juventus FC's Andrea Barzagli is a stud in our diaries. Image Credit: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

A quick query while you're here: do you find exposed chest hair (aka torso-fro) on footballers (or men in general) to be a lovable rug to hug or an ingrown fur to forget about?

Image Credit: GQ Mexico.

His mind might be saying 'no', but Javier Hernandez's body is only a few drinks away from succumbing to our advances.

Perseverance, guys and gals of the peanut gallery. When all else fails, slip 'em a cocktail or ten.

If the cheeky little smirk on Grasshopper Zurich midfielder Daniel De Ridder's face isn't sufficient to get you heading down to the newsagents to purchase the latest edition of Dutch mag 'L'Officiel Homme', allow us to give you a heads up.

We were fortunate enough to be offered a sneaky peak at what Danny is offering in his feature spread and can confirm his wares include bed-head, sex-face, back lit abs and the tiniest hint of a happy trail.

Image Credit: PUMA Football.

Without naming names and making a certain someone feel more uncomfortable than he already looks, somebody got the short end of the promo modeling stick.

Good lord what have they done to his hair? And furrowed brow? We feel awkward for him.

Because we can't have any member of our Finest Five looking this unattractive in broad, publicly accessible daylight, there's only one thing left to do that doesn't involving Googling "Marco Borriello on a boat" pictures.

While we usually prefer 'ballers in the buff (or as close to that as possible), brooding editorials like these also bring joy to our bad boy-loving selves.

In a new interview with FHM España, Pique describes his personal style as "modern and elegant," and says he typically opts for jeans and t-shirts during the day, but switches to a button down (and sometimes a tie) in the evenings.

Our suspicions about his piggies being other-worldly have been validated. Image Credit: Surfacemagazine.fr.

Joseph Barton, we here at Kickette have a dangerously honed capacity for short-tent spotting, which is why we're insulted by a package padding ruse like this. Image: Clive Rose/Getty Images/Daylife.

His segue from superstar midfielder to shiller of hair stuff might have been slightly jarring for Luis Figo lovers, but as this honorary Kickette is happy to confirm (left), he doesn't have to be nekkid to attract some'come to mama' side-eye. Image: Epsilon/Getty Images Europe.

Like we mentioned Monday, Iker Casillas is featured in the October issue of GQ Espana, as first teased in this Reebok video posted on the mag's site. Well, thanks to some pulling of a few strings and public pleading, we finally got our hands on an exclusive shot from those fine Spanish folks.

Luis & Ryan have a crack at Janet Jackson's famous 'Rolling Stone' cover during this past weekend's Stoke City vs. Liverpool game. Image: Scott Heavey/Getty Image/Daylife.

Image Credit: Davor Pongračić/Cropix. Tip & translation help via Roza. Cheers girl!

Pause for a moment, Kickettes, and feast your eyes on Niko Kranjčar's reaction to our Croatian correspondent's unscheduled entry** (via the window, on a rope, blind with lust or possibly the previous evening's make-up) into Wednesday's Adidas Predator launch in Zagreb.

Image Credit: Marca.com.

Some of us found this far too easy; the other ones we awoke from their 'lunch break' were stumped.

Kickettes, can you identify who this baby faced 'baller before-he-was-famous is?

Image Credit: an Walton/Getty Images.

There's no mistaking that combover it's Chelsea's man of the moment Juan Mata!

If we didn't love Harry so much, we'd be forced to point out our upset that, posture-wise at least, Jamie is turning into his Dad. But we do, so we won't. The Tottenham manager and his commentating son took in the QPR v Bolton Wanderers match together this past Saturday.

What perfect penmanship Balotelli has! Image Credit: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.