Two women. Two crucial football matches. One widescreen TV. One slightly dodgy internet feed. Copious amounts of white wine & fruit juice.

Ain't no party like a liver failure party and a liver failure party don't stop.

We thought that supplying the Kellys with all the equipment they demanded might compel them to produce full match reports of the Copa Del Rey quarter-final and the Carling Cup semi-final.

By Chris Wright

After being genuinely taken aback by some stunning 'Pablo Zabaleta's year of birth'-related trivia in the pub last night (more on that later), Pies have cobbled together a list of ten currently active footballers that just look far, far too old for dates on their birth certificates.

The Manchester City manager, Roberto Mancini, recently accosted the Manchester City player Wayne Bridge for, apparently, seeming to be happy and content at being nothing more than a paid squad member at the Manchester club. Wayne Bridge never features, is rarely even on the bench, and is not highly valued by his coach.

By Alan Duffy

Manchester City 1-0 Arsenal Premier League 18th December 2011

Shorn of all four full-backs in their squad, it was always going to be a difficult task facing Arsenal as they headed to the Etihad Stadium.

Will Koscielny pocket another multi million pound striker?

When I say horror city, I don't mean Manchester City the team (although I won't be far off with that). It is of course a return to the City of Manchester where our last visit there for a match was one to be forgotten. Had this match be immediately after that one, I would be very worried.

Having just suffered their first defeat in the league against Chelsea last Monday, another important challenge must be faced by Manchester City this weekend as an in-form Arsenal are coming to Etihad stadium.

Despite the difficulty of the upcoming match, City's manager, Roberto Mancini apparently isn't worrying that much especially since they have a big boost with the potential return of Micah Richards for this Sunday.

Arsenal's 1-0 loss to Manchester City in the Carling Cup match yesterday showed, once again, the power of petropounds. But one goal from over 100 million is a pretty weak return, really. However, a win is a win and even if City are on the ropes in Europe, they've booked their spot in the semifinals of the league cup.

Chasing after his former self, not the opponent

Carling Cup returns to the menu as the victors of tonight's game will seal their path into the semi final of this competition. It won't be so easy to win this year's competitions, well, compared to our run last season. Apart from Manchester City, there's still Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool still in this competition.

The Line-up for the Game against Bolivia is:
Pastore -- Higuain -- Messi
Alvarez -- Mascherano -- Gago
Rodriguez -- Burdisso -- Demichelis -- Zabaleta
Sabella, the coach of Argentina's National team has selected his 21+ players for the second round of games against Bolivia & Colombia this November 2011 for the 2014 World Cup qualifications.

Sabella, the coach of Argentina's National team has selected his 21 players for the second round of games against Bolivia & Colombia this November 2011 for the 2014 World Cup qualifications.
Players left out from the previous games are: Ricky Alvarez, Rodrigo Palacio, Nicolás Otamendi, Eduardo Salvio, Jonás Gutiérrez, Nico Pareja, Emiliano Insúa y Fabián Rinaudo.

By JOHN BOSCHINI

Sergio Aguero rescued Manchester City with a goal with the last kick of the game as the UEFA Champions League newcomers retained hope of advancing to the knockout rounds with a 2-1 win over Villarreal.

Pablo Zabaleta fired a low cross in front of goal in the third minute of stoppage time and David Silva failed to make contact at the near post but the ball found its way to Aguero, who made no mistake from close range.

Selección argentina viaja a Venezuela para choque por eliminatoriasLa selección argentina viajó la mañana del lunes a Venezuela para enfrentar el martes en Puerto La Cruz al representativo local por la segunda fecha de las eliminatorias sudamericanas para el Mundial de Brasil-2014.
El equipo argentino partió en vuelo chárter hacia la ciudad venezolana de Barcelona, desde donde se dirigirá en autobús a Puerto La Cruz.

06.10.2011 - Comienzan las eliminatorias sudamericanas (07.10.2011) para 4 cupos (sobre 9) en el próximo Mundial Brasil 2014. Según el cronograma establecido, en la 1º fecha Argentina recibe a Chile, Uruguay a Bolivia, Ecuador a Venezuela y Perú a Paraguay (libre Colombia).
A continuación, los planteles convocados por los seleccionadores de cada país para los primeros dos enfrentamientos (7 y 11 de octubre de 2011).

Sabella, the new coach of Argentina's National team has selected his 27 players for the start of the 2014 World Cup qualification. The first two games will be against Chile & Venezuela
Argentina Vs Chile: October 7th 2011 (Friday)
Argentina Vs Venezuela: Oct 11th 2011 (Tuesday)
Strikers/Forwards:
Nicolás Gaitán (Benfica)
Lionel Messi (Barcelona)
Gonzalo Higuaín (Real Madrid)
Sergio Agüero (Manchester City)
Rodrigo Palacio (Genoa)
Eduardo Salvio (Atlético de Madrid)
Germán Denis (Atalanta)
Midfielders:
Ever Banega (Valencia)
Javier Mascherano (Barcelona)
Fabián Rinaudo (Sporting)
Rodrigo Braña (Estudiantes)
Jonás Gutiérrez (Newcastle)
Ricardo Alvarez (Inter)
José Sosa (Metallist)
Javier Pastore (Paris Saint Germain)
Angel Di María (Real Madrid)
Defenders:
Pablo Zabaleta (Manchester City)
Nicolás Burdisso (Roma)
Federico Fernández (Napoli)
Martín Demichelis (Málaga)
Nicolás Otamendi (Porto)
Nicolas Pareja (Spartak Moscú)
Marcos Rojo (Spartak Moscú)
Emiliano Insúa (Sporting)
Goalies:
Sergio Romero (Sampdoria)
Mariano Andújar (Catania)
Agustín Orion (Boca Juniors)

By Alan Duffy

Steve Kean's tenure in charge at Ewood Park looks close to ending after the Scot's struggling Blackburn side were thoroughly demolished by Roberto Mancini's A-list 11.

Sergio Aguero did go off early with a groin injury in a mediocre first half, but after the break City roared into action.

Carlos Tevez has today announced his attention to spend his recent club suspension refusing to engage in any way with his children, Florencia, 6, and Katie, 2. Manchester City handed down the suspension to the errant striker after he disobeyed manager Roberto Mancini's orders for him to come on as a substitute, so Tevez has decided to bring his work home with him.

Manchester City's eventful week went from bad to worse when the club confirmed that Carlos Tevez has been suspended until his alleged refusal to come on as a substitute against Bayern Munich is fully reviewed.

The joint Barclays Premier League leaders suffered a humbling 2-0 defeat at the Allianz Arena as German international striker Mario Gomez once again proved his mettle.

Manchester City's eventful week went from bad to worse when the club confirmed that Carlos Tevez has been suspended until his alleged refusal to come on as a substitute against Bayern Munich is fully reviewed.

The joint Barclays Premier League leaders suffered a humbling 2-0 defeat at the Allianz Arena as German international striker Mario Gomez once again proved his mettle.

It will be raining stars at the Allianz Arena this evening as the visiting Manchester City have unleashed a strong starting XI against the powerful Bundesliga leaders, FC Bayern Munchen.

The back line of the Bavarian side includes former City defender Jerome Boateng while the front line of the Premier League's joint leaders includes Edin Dzeko, who rose to prominence with his sublime performances as a Wolfsburg player.

06.09.2011 - Con goles de Gonzalo Higuaín (´24), Angel Di María (´26) (ambos asistidos por Messi) y Elderson en contra (´65), Argentina venció (3-1) a Nigeria (Chinedu Obasi ´46) en el Bangabandhu National Stadium (Bangladesh) en la segunda presentación de Alejandro Sabella como nuevo DT.

03.09.2011 - Con gol de Nicolás Otamendi (´66), Argentina venció (1-0) a Venezuela (amistoso) en el Salt Lake Stadium (Calcuta, India) en el debut de Alejandro Sabella como entrenador.
Lo esperado, una Argentina demasiado similar a la que dejara Sergio Batista (DT).

Liverpool v Bolton Wanderers | Scott Murray

• Email your thoughts to scott.murray@guardian.co.uk • Press F5 to refresh this page or use our auto-refresher • Click here for all the latest scores from across Europe • And click here for live league tables and stats Scott will be here from 4.

Luis Suárez does not need a rest just yet, says Kenny Dalglish

• Liverpool attacker not looking jaded, says manager • Suárez influential in signing defender Sebastián Coates Liverpool will resist the temptation to give Luis Suárez too much rest, with Kenny Dalglish arguing that the euphoria from Uruguay's triumph in the Copa América and the striker's attitude should compensate for any lack of match fitness.

Luis Suárez doesn't need a rest just yet, says Kenny Dalglish

• Liverpool attacker not looking jaded, says manager • Suárez influential in the signing of defender Sebastián Coates Liverpool will resist the temptation to give Luis Suárez too much rest, with Kenny Dalglish arguing that the euphoria from Uruguay's triumph in the Copa América and the striker's attitude should compensate for any lack of match fitness.

La derrota con Uruguay fue desde los doce pasos. Entrá, mirá los penales y reviví cómo lo pateó cada uno de los jugadores. ¿Mala suerte?
"La lotería de los penales", se dice. Argentina sufrió desde los doce pasos. No sólo por Tevez en el penal errado; Higuaín y Pastore también estuvieron cerca de fallar.

Since the arrival of their bottomless pit of money, Manchester City have spent vast sums of money to build a side capable of taking on Europe's best. Extortionate wages have been offered to some of the world's best players, and even those average players who have joined City have enjoyed lucrative pay rises.

Estos son los 12 planteles que a partir del 1 de julio comenzarán a disputar la 43ra. Copa América en Argentina.
Grupo A
ARGENTINA
Arqueros: Mariano Andújar (Catania / Italia), Juan Pablo Carrizo (River Plate), Sergio Romero (AZ Alkmaar / Holanda).
Defensores: Ezequiel Garay (Real Madrid / España), Pablo Zabaleta (Manchester City / Inglaterra), Nicolás Burdisso (Roma / Italia), Gabriel Milito (Barcelona / España), Javier Zanetti (Inter / Italia), Nicolás Pareja (Spartak Moscú / Rusia), Marcos Rojo (Spartak Moscú / Rusia).

CLICK PARA AMPLIAR
1º fila (de izq a der): Marcelo Dandrea (masajista), Juan Cruz Souto (utilero), Alejandro Manograsso (videos), Alejandro Rolón (médico), Alejandro Tocalli (PF), Alberto Rodríguez (ayudante), Luis García (kinesiólogo), Martín Tocalli (preparador de arqueros), José Luis Brown (ayudante), Daniel Martínez (médico), Eduardo Gimenez (videos), Mario De Stefano (utliero).

1- Juan Pablo Carrizo (River)
2- Ezequiel Garay (Real Madrid)
3- Pablo Zabaleta (Manchester City)
4- Nicolás Burdisso (Roma)
5- Esteban Cambiasso (Inter)
6- Gabriel Milito (Barcelona)
7- Angel Di María (Real Madrid)
8- Javier Zanetti (Inter)
9- Gonzalo Higuaín (Real Madrid)
10- Lionel Messi (Barcelona)
11- Carlos Tevez (Manchester City)
12- Mariano Andújar (Catania)
13- Nicolás Pareja (Spartak Moscú)
14- Javier Mascherano (Barcelona)
15- Lucas Biglia (Anderlecht)
16- Sergio Agüero (Atlético Madrid)
17- Marcos Rojo (Spartak Moscu)
18- Javier Pastore (Palermo)
19- Ever Banega (Valencia)
20- Fernando Gago (Real Madrid)
21- Ezequiel Lavezzi (Napoli)
22- Diego Milito (Internazionale)
23- Sergio Romero (AZ Alkmaar)
Desafectados
Enzo Pérez (Estudiantes Lp)
Diego Valeri (Lanús)
Luciano Monzón (Boca jrs)
Doble 5: "Los 23 de Batista: ¿Qué decir?

ARQUEROSSergio Romero (AZ Alkmaar - Holanda)
Mariano Andújar (Catania - Italia)
Juan Pablo Carrizo (Ríver Plate - Argentina)
DEFENSORESEzequiel Garay (Real Madrid - España)
Pablo Zabaleta (Manchester City - Inglaterra)
Nicolás Burdisso (AS Roma - Italia)
Gabriel Milito (Barcelona FC - España)
Javier Zanetti (Inter - Italia)
Nicolás Pareja (FC Spartak - Rusia)
Marcos Rojo (FC Spartak - Rusia)
VOLANTESEsteban Cambiasso (Inter - Italia)
Javier Mascherano (Barcelona FC - España)
Lucas Biglia (RSC Anderlecht - Bélgica)
Ever Banega (Valencia CF - España)
Fernando Gago (Real Madrid - España)
Javier Pastore (Palermo - Italia)
DELANTEROSAngel Di María (Real Madrid - España)
Gonzalo Higuaín (Real Madrid - España)
Lionel Messi (Barcelona FC - España)
Carlos Tevez (Manchester City - Inglaterra)
Sergio Agüero (At.

Argentina's 'Under-25′ B-team played a friendly in Abuja, Nigeria on Wednesday, and got thumped 4-1 by a home side who looked infinitely more up for the match than their visitors. A side captained by Pablo Zabaleta were 3-0 down at ... Continue reading →

Here is Argentina's official roster for the Copa America games starting in July 2011.
Goalies:
Sergio Romero (AZ Alkmaar), Carrizo (River), Mariano Andujar (Catania).
Defenders:
Javier Zanetti (Inter), Nicolás Burdisso (Roma), Gabriel Milito (Barcelona), Marcos Rojo (Spartak Moscú), Nicolás Pareja (Spartak Moscú), Luciano Monzón (Boca), Pablo Zabaleta (Manchester City) y Ezequiel Garay (Real Madrid)
Midfielders:
Esteban Cambiasso (Inter), Ever Banega (Valencia), Fernando Gago (Real Madrid), Javier Mascherano (Barcelona), Javier Pastore (Palermo), Lucas Biglia (Anderlecht), Enzo Pérez (Estudiantes), Valeri (Lanús)
Forwards/Strikers:
Lionel Messi (Barcelona), Angel Di María (Real Madrid), Ezequiel Lavezzi (Napoli), Sergio Agüero (Atlético Madrid), Gonzalo Higuaín (Real Madrid), Diego Milito (Inter) y Carlos Tevez (Manchester City)

By Chris Wright

All things must pass an apt epitaph for the career of a man who used the ball like Paul Scholes did in his pomp, a midfield hub that could ping a zephyr-like pass across the width of a crowded football pitch and land it on a pound coin 99 times out of 100.

By Chris Wright

All things must pass an apt epitaph for the career of a man who used the ball like Paul Scholes did in his pomp, a midfield hub that could ping a zephyr-like pass across the width of a crowded football pitch and land it on a pound coin 99 times out of 100.

This week saw confirmation on Tuesday that two Argentines Carlos Tevez and Pablo Zabaleta will feature in next season's European Cup; at least assuming Tevez stays with Manchester City, who beat Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 to confirm a top ... Continue reading →

The Relegation battle is coming down to a photo finish. There are three matches left to play and nothing is decided yet.
20. West Ham United, 32pts - West Ham has finally completed their difficult 6 game stretch where they faced the likes of Manchester United, Spurs, Chelsea and Manchester City.

Leo and Daveeed take the opportunity to create the most frightening footballer in the history of the game. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

We're glad to see that some people in high places have been reading our work. We can be certain of this as our recent complaints about the proliferation of complex fixture schedules in England over the last few weeks has resulted in the maddest list of games yet.

Manchester City have reached their first major cup final since 1981 thanks to Yaya Touré, whose second-half goal was enough to beat ten-man Manchester United at Wembley.

Neither side were able to impose themselves on the game in the opening stages before United took charge of the contest with Paul Scholes and Carrick pulling the strings in midfield.

There is no place for Carlos Tevez or Sergio Aguero in the Argentina squad that coach Sergio Batista brings to New York for Saturday's friendly against the U.S.

Injury has kept Aguero out of some recent squads -- he has not played for his country since coming on as a substitute and scoring against Spain last September.

The Argentine coach, Sergio Batista, has chosen the 25 players he will bring to his two friendlies against the United States & Costa Rica. Again, no sign of Carlos Tevez
Schedule:
Argentina Vs United States (March 26 in New Jersey, USA)
Argentina Vs Costa Rica (March 29 in Costa Rica)
Goalie:
Mariano Andújar (Catania-Italy)
Adrián Gabbarini (Independiente-Argentina)
Agustín Marchesín (Lanús-Argentina)
Defender:
Javier Zanetti (Internazionale de Milán-Italy)
Ezequiel Garay (Real Madrid-Spain)
Nicolás Otamendi (F.