Official: Thomas Tuchel Finally Sworn In As New Head Coach Of Paris Saint-Germain

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As of just a few minutes ago, Thomas Tuchel is officially the new manager/head coach of Paris Saint-Germain.

Having waited in the wings for what feels like months now, the former Borussia Dortmund boss has signed a two-year contract at the Parc des Princes which is scheduled to kick in at the start of July.

Official: Swansea City Appoint Freshly-Sacked Sheffield Wednesday Boss Carlos Carvahal As New Manager (Photo)

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Straight out of the far end of the left field, Premier League rest-of-table-propper-uppers Swansea City have entrusted Carlos Carvahal with the responsibility of delivering them from relegation this season.

Those not instantly familiar with the name might twig when we tell you Carvahal was the coach recently sacked by Sheffield Wednesday after last weekend's1-0 victory over Middlesbrough.

Official: Alan Pardew Is West Brom’s Exciting New Manager For An Exciting New Age

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There you have it. The deed is done. Alan Pardew is officially the latest chapter in West Brom's ongoing 10-year commitment to hiring utterly uninspiring managers.

Pardew has been appointed on a two-and-a-half year contract, replacing Tony Pulis, who replaced Alan Irvine, who replaced Pepe Mel, who replaced Steve Clarke, who replaced Roy Hodgson, who replaced Roberto Di Matteo, who replaced Tony Mowbray, who replaced Bryan Robson, who replaced Gary Megson.

Official: Everton Confirm That Ronald Koeman Has Left The Club With Immediate Effect

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October 2nd, 2017: Everton majority shareholder Farhad Moshiri gives his "full and total support" to Ronald Koeman after spending £140million over the summer and overseeing a less than impressive start to the season, including a 1-0 defeat to Burnley the previous day.

Official: Crystal Palace Appoint Roy Hodgson As New Manager On Two-Year Deal (Photo)

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Photo: @CPFC/Twitter

Amid all the Champions League hubbub, Crystal Palace chose Tuesday night to officially appoint Roy Hodgson as their new manager.

The 70-year-old replaces Frank de Boer, who was sacked just four matches into his tenure and becoming the first ever manager in Premier League history to lose his job without seeing his side score a single goal.

Transfers & Rumours

Official: Everton Shore Up Late Loan Deal For Eliaquim Mangala, Still Waiting On Premier League Clearance (Photo)

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Everton managed to pull off a decent signing right as the transfer window came to a close by securing the services of Eliaquim Mangala on a six-month loan from Man City.

After just about sneaking the relevant paperwork through in time, the Toffees were able to unveil their new left-sided centre-back after gone midnight.

Official: Tottenham Sign Lucas Moura From PSG In Deal Worth Around £25m (Photo)

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Tottenham have signed PSG cast-off Lucas Moura in a deal said to be worth approximately £25million or thereabouts.

The 25-year-old Brazilian winger hassigned a contract until 2023 and will wriggle into the No.27 shirt...

Welcome to Spurs, @LucasMoura7!

Turkish Club Konyaspor Announce Samuel Eto’o Signing With Epic ‘Game Of Thrones’ Montage (Video)

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Samuel Eto'o is back in the game after signing a one-year deal with Turkish side Konyaspor on deadline day.

The veteran Cameroonian striker, now 36, had been a free agent since leaving Antalyaspor last year.

To herald his grand return to the Super Lig, Eto'o's new employers went all out with an outstanding 'Game of Thrones' welcome video.

The Super Computer Hath Spoken: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Will Make Arsenal 2% Better

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Arsenal have parted with a £55million chunk of lucre in exchange for the services of Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, a man who scored 98 goals in 144 Bundesliga appearances for Borussia Dortmund.

The Gunners will no doubt be enthused to learn that, in paying the big moneyfor world football's best available goal-poacher, they have not only strengthened their tilt on Carabao Cup glory this season, but also mathematically improved their team by a clear margin.

Official: Arsenal Sign Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang From Borussia Dortmund In £60m Deal (Photo)

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Photo: Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal

Arsenal have signed Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang from Borussia Dortmund in a club record deal reportedly worth £55million (plus £5million in add-ons).

Obviously not perturbed by what he witnessed at Swansea last night, the Gabonese striker has signed a long-term contract with the Gunners after passing a routine medical this morning.

Official: Man City Break Transfer Record To Sign Aymeric Laporte From Atheltic Bilbao (Photo)

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Photo: @ManCity/Twitter

Man City have broken their transfer record to sign Aymeric Laporte from Atheltic Bilbao is a deal said to be worth €65million (£57million-ish).

City triggered the release clause in Laporte's contract, thus making him their most expensive ever signing by eclipsing the £55million they paid for Kevin de Bruyne.

Official: Burnley Take Aaron Lennon Off Everton’s Hands On Cut-Price Permanent Deal (Photo)

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Photo: @BurnleyOfficial/Twitter

After being bumped down the pecking order at Everton by Theo Walcott's recent arrival, Aaron Lennon has moved on to pastures new by completing a move to Burnley.

The former England winger, 30, has signed a permanent deal at Turf Moor for an undisclosed fee, rumoured to be somewhere around the£2-3million mark.

Swapsies: Alexis Sanchez Unveiled By Man Utd As Henrikh Mkhitaryan Officially Signs For Arsenal (Photos & Video)

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Photo: @Arsenal/Stuart McFarlane/Twitter

That's it. The two tediously interlinked January transfer sagas that threatened to bury us all are both done and dusted, with Manchester United unveiling Alexis Sanchez and Arsenal officially announcing their signing of Henrikh Mkhitaryan concurrently this evening.

Official: Everton Wrap Up £27m Deal To Sign Cenk Tosun From Besiktas (Photo)

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The deed is done. Everton have signed Cenk Tosun from Besiktas for the low, low price of just £27million.

The Toffees actually formally announced Tosun's arrival at half-time of last night's FA Cup third-round defeat against Liverpool, which is a little odd but hey ho.

‘We Missed That Smile!’ – Atletico Madrid Finally Welcome Diego Costa Back Unto Their Freshly-Unembargoed Bosom (Photo)

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Photo: @Atleti/Twitter

After lying dormant for the past three months, Diego Costa is finally free to start gnawing on defender's shins again in a professional capacity.

The Sprazilian striker left Chelsea in a huff back in September and returned to his spiritual home, yomping around under Diego Simeone's cutthroat tutelage at Atletico Madrid.

Diego Costa Pens Obligatory Open Letter To Chelsea Fans After Wrapping Up Atletico Madrid Return

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It's done. Diego Costa has officially returned to the employ of Atletico Madrid, with the striker's Chelsea exit confirmed by both parties on Tuesday night.

The transaction, said to be valued in excess of £50million, will take effect on the first day of January, 2018 the day on which Atleti's current transfer embargo is lifted.

Official: Chelsea Confirm Diego Costa Is Free To Return To Atletico Madrid With Heartfelt 30-Word Statement

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It's over. It's finally... over.

Chelsea have announced that they've struck a deal with Atletico Madrid that will finally allow Diego Costa to return from whence he came.

The Blues issued a statement via their club website confirming as much, and incredibly touching it was too all 30 words of it.

Reports: Karim Benzema’s New Four-Year Contract Extension With Real Madrid Includes Bonkers €1bn Release Clause

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Despite being linked with an exit for the past dozen consecutive transfer windows, but today Karim Benzema has committed his long-term future to Real Madrid.

The 29-year-old French striker, who is currently in his ninth season at Los Blancos, has signed a new four-year contract extension thus tying him to the club beyond his 33rd birthday.

Official: Fenerbahce Tentatively Agree To Take Vincent Janssen On Loan From Tottenham For Rest Of Season

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Fenerbahce have announced that they've come to a tentative arrangement with Tottenham to take Vincent Janssen off their hands for the remainder of the season.

The Dutch international striker has failed to gel at Spurs, scoring just six goals (many of which were penalties) in 38 appearances to date.

Lightning Round-Up: Handy List Of All The Premier League Movers And Shakers On Transfer Deadline Day

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Photo: @ChelseaFC/Twitter

That's it. The summer transfer window has closed, with the Premier League racking up an enormous net spend of £665million in the process taking the top-flight's total 25-year outlay past the £1.41billion mark.

Let's see what people got for their money, eh?

Financial Fair Play Be Damned: PSG Welcome Kylian Mbappe On Board In Yet Another Exorbitant Cash-Spluff

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Monaco have been plundered once again as PSG have announced that their convoluted deal to sign Kylian Mbappe has now officially gone through.

The transfer basically boils down to a long-term contract, beginning with a bullshit one-season loan, presumably to allow the young lad to gain a vital bit of experience.

Official: Swansea Sign Renato ‘Golden Boy’ Sanches On Season-Long Loan From Bayern Munich

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As unlikely as it may sound, Swansea City have secured the services of Renato Sanches on a season-long loan from Bayern Munich.

The Swans announced their big coup on deadline day, confirming that the 20-year-old will spent the remainder of the 2017/18 campaign at the Liberty Stadium...

Welcome to @SwansOfficial, Renato Sanches.

Official: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain Pulls On His New Liverpool Shirt For The First Time (Photos)

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With an agreement struck hours earlier, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain officially completed his £35-40million switch between Arsenal and Liverpool on Wednesday afternoon after successfully coming through a medical at England's training base at St George's Park.

Just to seal the deal, the midfielder was then allowed to pull on his new shirt for the first time and pose for a series of official club portraits.

Official: Tottenham Complete £23m Deal To Sign Serge Aurier From PSG

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With a timely assist from the French judicial system, Tottenham have completed their deal to sign Serge Aurier from PSG.

The flying right-back joins for a fee of around £23million, has signed a five-year contract and will wear the No.24 shirt last sported by none other than Brad Friedel...

Official: Kieran Gibbs Joins West Brom On Permanent Deal After 13 Years At Arsenal (Photo)

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Photo: @WBA/Twitter

After Watford pulled out yesterday, West Brom have swooped in and wrapped up a deal to sign Kieran Gibbs from Arsenal.

The initial fee is reported to be £5million, rising to a potential £7million in add-ons, et cetera.

Gibbs, 27, has signed a four-year contract and will wear the No.

Official: Stoke City Sign Tottenham Cast-Off Kevin Wimmer In £18m Deal (Photo)

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Kevin does it the Wimmer way (Photo: @stokecity/Twitter)

Stoke City have announced the signing of Kevin Wimmer from Tottenham in a deal worth a not-insignificant £18million.

Having made just 15 league appearances for Spurs since joining from Cologne two summers ago, the Austrian centre-back has decided to cut his losses and move on, signing a five-year contract with the Potters.

Cack-Footed: Ousmane Dembele Rivals Paulinho For Skill And Trickery While ‘Freestyling’ At Barcelona Unveiling (Video)

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Just as Paulinho recently wowed the crowd with a stunning display of six kick-ups in a row, Ousmane Dembele, Barcelona's new club record signing, decided to seize the chance and show the Barcelona fans exactly what he's all aboutduring his grand unveiling.

Mere days after joining the Catalan club in a £96million deal, the 20-year-old French forward dazzled his audience with a quick burst of fleet-footed magic.

Official: Samir Nasri Ends Patchy Six-Year Man City Stint By Joining Antalyaspor On Freebie

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Samir Nasri's time at Man City is now officially at an end, just one or perhaps two years later than the cord should have been cut.

After six long, eventful years at City, the last of which was spent on loan Sevilla, Nasri has moved on by signing a two-year deal with Turkish side Antalyaspor.

Official: Everton Pilfer Gylfi Sigurdsson From Swansea In Club Record £45m Deal (Photo)

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Photo: @Everton/Twitter

One of the more protracted transfer wrangles of the summer has finally concluded with the news that Everton have successfully pilfered Gylfi Sigurdsson from Swansea for a club record fee.

The actual price tag is officially undisclosed but is being widely reported as a piffling £45million mere chump change in this day and age.

Official: Stoke City Sign Jese Rodriguez On Loan, Add To Impressive Haul Of Ex-Champions League Winners (Photo)

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Photo: @stokecity/Twitter

In what surely must be the first recorded interaction between the two sides, Stoke City have signed Jese Rodriguez from PSG.

The 24-year-old forward moves to the Potters on a season-long loan having passed his medical on Tuesday...

We all need a bit of inspiration halfway through the working week.

Official: Barcelona Sign Tottenham Cast-Off Paulinho From Guangzhou Evergrande In €40m Wrangle

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Having just been relieved of one Brazilian superstar, Barcelona have gone and signed ex-Tottenham flop Paulinho for the princely sum of €40million.

Paulinho left Spurs to join Guangzhou Evergrande for £17million amid something of a career torpor back in July of 2015.

Any excuse to watch Paulinho's shot against Burnley again.

Official: Stoke Shore Up €7.7m Deal To Re-Sign Bruno Martins Indi On Permanent Basis (Photo & Video)

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Photo: @stokecity/Twitter

After dragging it out for months, Stoke City have finally shaken on a €7.7million deal with Porto to re-sign Bruno Martins Indi on a permanent basis.

The Dutch international centre-back spent last season on loan at the Potters, who reportedly had to stave off interest from Crystal Palace to recapture their man.

Official: Watford Pluck Striker Andre Gray From Burnley In £18.5m Deal

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Time rolls on and fees continue to spiral with the news today that Andre Gray has swapped Burnley for Watford in an £18.5million deal.

Gray, who scored nine goals in 32 Premier League appearances for the Clarets last time out, has signed a five-year at Vicarage Road...

| #watfordfc have completed the signing of @AndreGray7 from @BurnleyOfficial for a club record fee.

Weird, And Not In A Good Way: We Challenge You To Make Any Sense Of Roma’s Unsettling ‘Welcome Neymar’ Video

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Photo: @PSG_inside/Twitter

It kind of sneaked under the radar, but PSG signed Neymar from Barcelona last night for a world record £196million transfer fee.

As soon as the deal was finalised, the Parisian club went big on social media, churning out a deluge of various flashing images and crude Photoshops to welcome their new Brazilian investment unto their fold.

Official: Barcelona Confirm Neymar Shirked Today’s Training Session As PSG Move Edges Nearer To Completion

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It would appear for all the world that Neymar's increasingly tiresome 'shock' transfer from Barcelona to PSG is finally gearing up to go through.

Indeed, Barca have taken the unorthodox tack of officially confirming that the Brazilian forward shirked training at the Joan Gamper centre this morning.

The Rest

Bad Takes FC: The Mark Parsons Project

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What exactly was he thinking?

By now you've probably heard the official reason for Mark Parsons' recent two one game suspension. But, if you've been living under a rock the last few days, here's the juicy bit from the Professional Soccer Referees Association's statement.

On March 24th, immediately following the conclusion of the North Carolina Courage vs.

Major Link Soccer: Darwin Quintero arrives in Minnesota

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The deal's not official, but Loons fans are excited. The sculptor of the infamous Ronaldo bust gives it another shot.


Backline Soccer takes a look at the Reign's early returns after all the offseason turnover, and they like what they see. Route Two Soccer: A Strong Start for the Reign – Backline Soccer

Reign Academy defender Smith Hunter made the final squad for the U17 World Cup.

Russia 2018: FIFA Name List Of World Cup Referees And Assistants, No British Representative For First Time In 80 Years

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FIFA have today released the list of match officials entrusted to oversee the 2018 World Cup and, for the first time in eight decades, not a single British referee or assistant has been included.

The list contains the names of 99 referees and assistants (36 of the former, 63 of the latter), though none hail from England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland for the first time since the 1938 tournament.

Super Joao Mario: West Ham Welcome New Loan Signing With Nifty Nintendo-Themed Video

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West Ham have completed the signing of midfielder Joao Mario, who has joined the Premier League side on a six-month loan deal from Inter Milan.

Inter signed Mario from Sporting Lisbon in a €40million deal after he won Euro 2016 with Portugal but the 25-year-old has since struggled to muscle into the first-team on a consistent basis, starting just five matches so far this season.

Some Soccer News for Oct 10, 2017

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It's Day 283 of 2017.

Germany in World Cup Qualifying:
  • 10 games
  • 10 wins
  • +39 GD
Yes, they are going to win the World Cup again next summer. Mark it down.


Its official now - Netherlands is OUT of World Cup.
  • Other recent European qualifiers Czechia, Turkey and Ukraine out too.