Obese and Odious

Newcastle United

Newcastle United’s Ground Renamed: Mike Ashley’s Idiocy Knows No Bounds

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Oh Sweet Jesus!

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Newcastle United have angered fans with plans to rename their ground the sportsdirect.com@St James' Park Stadium until the end of the season.

Newcastle United Owner Calls Off Sale and Names Permanent Manager (Finds Time to Eat Lard Also)

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Mr Ashley manages to make two decisions in one morning and still finds time to consume as much lard as possible.

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Chris Hughton has been named as the permanent manager of Newcastle, while the Magpies have also been taken off the market.

Cheryl Cole or Mike Ashley: Beauty or the Beast Option for Newcastle United Fans!

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There's an image you don't see everyday!

Forget Barry Moat. X Factor judge Cheryl Cole admits she would love to be the next Geordie messiah and buy her beloved club, Newcastle United and then put her husband Ashley at left-back!
The Championship leaders are the subject of a £100m sale as desperate owner Mike Ashley aims to quit the club at the earliest opportunity possible after putting them on the market in May following their Premier League demise.

Mystery Man Wants to Buy Newcastle United: Anyone Would be Better than Mr Odious & Obese!

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Fingers crossed!

BUSINESSMAN Geoff Sheard has revealed he is the front-man rather than the money-man in a bid to buy Newcastle United.

Sheard was unsuccessful in his attempts to purchase Sheffield Wednesday last season after failing to prove he had the funds to conclude a deal.

Alan Shearer Set to Return as Newcastle United Boss as New Consortium Nears Deal

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Fingers crossed!

Come on Mike, surely it's time you left?

Alan Shearer will finally be appointed as manager of Newcastle United if Mike Ashley can be persuaded to accept an offer for the club by a consortium fronted by a prominent Tyneside businessman.

Mr Odious and Obese Set to Stay at Newcastle United

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Anyone wondering if things could get any worse for the Toon Army faithful will be stunned to find out that they can indeed sink even lower.

Mike Ashley, the Newcastle United owner, is examining the possibility of retaining possession of the relegated club for at least another year.