Ahead of his team's big Ryman League cup final clash with Tonbridge Angels on Wednesday evening,Billericay Town owner Glenn Tamplin waded into the dressing room to deliver a powerful burst of motivational noise.
After taking over the Blues last December, Tamplin promptly set about pumping thousands of pounds of his own money into the club with the vision of turning them into a non-league powerhouse.
Resisting the urge to resort to national stereotypes, the recent Welsh lower-league tie between CPD Llanberis and Llandudno Junction FC was momentarily interrupted by a pair of woolly hooligans wooligans, if you will.
Indeed, play was brought to a halt when the marauding pair came gallivanting onto the pitch midway through the Alliance League Division One fixture.
Jamie O'Hara scored a rather splendid overhead kick in the Ryman Premier League over the weekend though sadly it wasn't enough to prevent his Billericay Town team falling to a 4-2 defeat against Enfield Town.
Having seen his top-flight career curtailed by a succession of injuries, the former Tottenham, Portsmouth and Wolves midfielderis now keeping his eye in down at Billericay, where he playsalongside fellow ex-Premier League icon Paul Konchesky.
Filminga segment forhis short-lived eponymous chat show, Jeremy Clarkson broke his duck and attended his very first football match in 1998.
Indeed, the Top Gear host paid a visit to his hometown club, Doncaster Rovers (bottom of the Conference at the time), to take in their FA Trophy tie against Frickley Athletic at Belle Vue in deepest, darkest November.
Tuesday night saw South Shields beat Consett on their own turf down in Division One of the EBAC Northern League.
Consett found themselves on the wrong end of a 3-1 stuffing, butthe defeatwould've been even heavierwere it not for the heroic efforts of their goalkeeper, Peter Jeffries, who pulled off a mind-bogglingly brilliant reactionsave to keep the score respectable.
Rendered aghast at Arsenal fans descending into apoplexyover the prospect of not finishing in the top four of the Premier League for the first time since 1995, one long-suffering Darlington supporter decided to catalogue the misery he has witnessed over the years.
In order to detail what it's like to support a club who are actually hopeless, Darlo supporterJoe Kennedy produced the mother of all Twitter threads a testament to what it is to really suffer as a football fan.
My how we all laughed as Wayne Shaw, Sutton United's 'roly poly goalie', crammed a pie into his face as he sat on the bench during last night's FA Cup fifth-round tie against Arsenal.
In the 83rd minute of the match (with Sutton having made their three permitted subs), Shaw who had become something of a one-man side-show over the course of the day pulled out a steak pie and ate it, safe in the knowledge he wasn't going to be called upon by manager Paul Doswell.
Sutton's superb FA Cup run has turned reserve goalkeeper and goalkeeping coach Wayne Shaw into something of a minor celebrity, with the big-boned stopper even receiving an offer to pose naked for a magazine.
During Sutton's fifth round clash with Arsenal on Monday night, the 20 stone 45-year-old decided to celebrate the glamorous evening by tucking into a pie on the subs bench, only once all three changes had already been made mind.
Arsenal booked their place in the last eight of the FA Cup after a deserved yet challenging victory away to non-league side Sutton United, a team 105 places below the Gunners on the English football ladder.
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Sutton were rewarded for beating Leeds United in the fourth round with a glamour home tie against Arsenal, a side smarting after their 5-1 midweek hammering by Bayern Munich.
After trying an failing to rile Lincoln City with his full repertoire of arseholery, Joey Barton has attempted to explain away his blatant attempt to get striker Matt Rhead sent off.
Having already cuffedLincoln's Terry Hawkridge across the snout, Barton fiendishly tried to engineer a red for Rhead by first treading on the striker's toes and then pretending he'd beenelbowed in the face while defending a corner.
Turf Moor has been something of a fortress this season for Burnley. However, on Saturday the Premier League side found themselves on the wrong end of the mother of all shocks, with non-league Lincoln City producing an incredible 1-0 win.
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Lincoln matched their top-flight opponents throughouta scrappy 90 minutes, with very few genuine chances for either side.
By seeing off old foes Leeds on Saturday afternoon, Sutton United barrelled their way into the FA Cup fifth round for the first time in the club's history.
After being knocked out in the fourth round before on two occasions (once against Leeds in 1970, and then again against Norwich in 1989), The U's broke new ground to ensure that there would be two non-league clubs in the fifth round draw also an all-time first.
Former chairman Barry Hearn has resigned from his role as Leyton Orient's honorary life president, saying that he just "cannot be associated" with the beleaguered club under its current regime.
With players and staff unpaid for months, Orient are slowly being suffocated by current president Francesco Becchetti, who has successfully guided them from the League One play-off final to League Two relegationin the space of his three-year tenure to date.
"£25 gets you entry, two free shots and an hour in the ice bar..."
Leicester City manager Craig Shakespeare has revealed that not so very long ago he had to talk Jamie Vardy out of quitting football entirely.
After finishing as top goalscorer in the Conference Premier whenFleetwood won promotion into the Football League in 2011/12, the Foxes (then of the Championship) took a gamble on signing Vardy, though he initially struggled with the step up and managed a paltry five goals in 29 appearances over the course of 2012/13.
In a rather incredible bit of bad timing, Sutton United were forced to use defender Simon Downer as a makeshift goalkeeper during their clash with Torquay on Saturday, after their regular 'keeper Ross Warner was forced off with injury.
Without their usual reserve goalkeeper, infamous pie-eater Wayne Shaw, poor old Sutton had no back-up goalie on the bench, However, the non-league side still managed to win the game 3-2.
Sunday proved to be a momentous day down in the Cornish non-leagues, as one of their greatest exponents first reached and then subsequently passed a truly inspiring milestone.
Having first entered the fray as a spindly adolescentin 1981, Mark Rapsey known to all and sundry as 'Rappo' came on for Wadebridge Veterans against Lanreath and promptly scored the 2,000th and 2,001st goals of his 36-year football career, almost 19 years after he first passed the 1,000-goal mark!