Aww, look at him in his little hat! And Archie too! Image via Jack's Twitter.

Some serious football fixtures demand our attention this weekend, Kickettes. Before settling down at the foot of our nacho mountain to watch the manhose unfold, we prepared this little round-up of the stuff that occurred in between our unscheduled naps.

Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole have both been charged with five counts of criminal damage in relation to an incident involving cars parked in Newcastle city centre. Midfielder Cattermole, aged 24, and 23-year-old Danish striker Bendtner were both arrested following an incident in Stowell Street on 6 December.

Even though they're one of the biggest teams in the world when it comes to money, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger told a Belgian publication that he can only splash out on new players once the team has made a profit of £20 million. This apparently means he's admitting there's a restriction on his spending at the London club and he's worried the team will suffer because of it.

Images: EkstraBladet.dk.

Top of the morning to ya, Kickettes!

Hope you had a nice weekend filled with treats of the alcoholic and 'baller varieties.

Saturday

- Nicklas Bendtner brought his two favourite females a pet snake and his rumoured new girlfriend to the launch of "NB Jewellery" where his first collection, "N3," was presented.

Like a cross between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Nicklas Bendtner, Ghana striker Asamoah Gyan is very fond of his own abilities. There were questions as to whether he would play in Ghana's African Cup of Nations match against Mali after sustaining an injury in training on Thursday, but he did start and scored off a free kick in his side's 2-0 win.

It has indeed happened. We have reached the magical plateau of 40 points, and are thus unlikely to be relegated. Three cheers. As for this fixture, it was a right odd one, with the Chels looking equal parts sterling and benumb, particularly in defense. Chances, there were a fair few for both sides.

By Alan Duffy

Chelsea 1-0 Sunderland Premier League 14th January 2012

Ghanaian midfielder Michael Essien returned to first team duty for Chelsea against Sunderland on Saturday, making a welcome substitute appearance after missing the first half of the season with a cruciate ligament injury.

Rest up, Ram. We're going to need your services today.

Team news and the like from 9:45am EST.

Team sheets
Chelsea
TBA

Sunderland
TBA

Streaming:
My P2P
FirstRow Sports
Sport Lemon

Click here to view the embedded video.

We're quite proud of ourselves this week. Despite over-indulging a touch during the holidays, we still managed to bring the goods to the table. They included David Beckham in a state of undress, Demba Ba's favourite snack item, the Football Power Couple of the Year results and a thorough examination of aesthetic prejudices in football.

New Sunderland manager, Martin O'Neill has his new team in fine form. Sunderland suprised everyone with a 1-0 win over league leaders Manchester City last Sunday. Sunderland repeated the trick in tough conditions at the D.W stadium on Tuesday evening over Wigan 1-4.

Featured player Nicklas Bendtner got an assist for the third goal with a good low accurate cross, it was a quiet game for him in a role where he had to play the lone role upfront.

No more dogging We've come to expect all sorts of things to happen from players and fans alike in the joyous moments after a goal has been scored. But as far as we can remember, this is the first time when a Premier League player has celebrated a goal within touching distance of a fan [...]

By Alan Duffy

For the majority of us mere mortals, it's the season to be jolly and maybe a bit drunk, but for footballers, Christmas is often the season to go off the rails completely.

The Sunderland duo of Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole are the latest stars to get up to no good in the festive period.

Sunderland duo Nicklas Bendtner and Lee Cattermole have been arrested on suspicion of criminal damage. The incident relates to damaged caused to cars Stowell Street, in Newcastle city centre, on 6 December. The pair, both aged 23, were arrested yesterday before later being bailed. A Northumbria police spokesman said: "Police can confirm that on 15 [.

What we learned this week...Mario Balotelli-bothering Micah Richards should wear a dart-proof vest

The Premier League leaders finally came unstuck, much to the amusement of a surprisingly funny Ashley Cole, while Nicklas Bendtner was a berk and Fitz Hall made us hurl

View the full story here: Goal

A news article on 2011-12-16 07:37:00 from: Goal

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

By Chris Wright

Nicklas Bendtner has been caught on camera in his native Denmark, (reportedly) drunkenly stumbling into a takeaway after a night out in Copenhagen in search of pizza, only to find himself sans cash.

So far you can empathise with young Nicky, right?

Any change? Any change? Sunderland striker Nicklas Bendtner shocked diners in his native Denmark by resorting to begging for someone to buy him a late night pizza. The on-loan Arsenal man called into Pizza Huset after a drunken night out with actress Julie Zangenberg. With a taxi waiting outside, Bendtner ordered two pizzas.

Don't give up hope just yet. Yes, we know. It got ugly last time around. Very, very ugly. Nevertheless, El Clásico is back and the expectations are bigger than Nicklas Bendtner's ego. It might be a little optimistic, but we want to see a good, clean game between two of the best football clubs in the world.

It was not too long ago, in the 2007/2008 where Nicklas Bendtner netted his first goal for Arsenal in a 7-0 rout of Slavia Prague in the Champions league, then he had a loan spell at Birmingham before officially being part of Arsenal's first team. Since Bendtner was in the first team, he has had [...

Nothing seems to be going so right for Sunderland at the moment, The Mackems created several chances before going down to a 1-2 loss in stoppage time from a miscommunication from the defender and the keeper. Featured player Nicklas Bendtner is still finding his feet in his new club, on his 10th appearance, He had a relatively quiet game yesterday, but played a part in Sunderland's first goal cutting back onto his right foot, before smashing a low effort that bounced up towards Al-Habsi, who fumbled it and it fell to Swedish midfielder Sebastian Larsson who smashed it in from close range.

Nothing seems to be going so right for Sunderland at the moment, The Mackems created several chances before going down to a 1-2 loss in stoppage time from a miscommunication from the defender and the keeper. Featured player Nicklas Bendtner is still finding his feet in his new club, on his 10th appearance, He had a relatively quiet game yesterday, but played a part in Sunderland's first goal cutting back onto his right foot, before smashing a low effort that bounced up towards Al-Habsi, who fumbled it and it fell to Swedish midfielder Sebastian Larsson who smashed it in from close range.

Image via tumblr.

The 'drunken rampage' is a concept we're fairly familiar with in the Kickette office, although we generally refer to it as 'arriving for work', 'leaving work' or the 'editorial meeting'. But it appears that if you are an internationally renowned footballer, such things are rather frowned upon.

(Summary is not available.)

Liverpool defender Daniel Agger and Arsenal's Nicklas Bendtner were interviewed by Police over the weekend after allegedly being involved in what Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet described as 'a drunken riot'.
After last Friday's victory against Sweden, Denmark coach Morten Olsen gave his players the night off to celebrate, and gave them permission to have a few drinks.

Well I enjoyed a nice little layoff over the last week and a half, or however long it's been since I wrote something. I wasn't out of town, but did have more real work to do than normal. Kudos to Darren for doing the heavy lifting over the last week.

Anyway, we've been treated to another round of mostly meaningless internationals in the last few days.

Even though tonights game was a International Friendly, It was never gunna be a friendly with all the pre-match hype, Denmark and Sweden have obviously got a big history + rivalry both from being from Scandinavia. Nicklas Bendtner had hit 3 goals and an assist in his last 3 games for Denmark, so he was on fire going into tonight's game.

Even though tonights game was a International Friendly, It was never gunna be a friendly with all the pre-match hype, Denmark and Sweden have obviously got a big history + rivalry both from being from Scandinavia. Nicklas Bendtner had hit 3 goals and an assist in his last 3 games for Denmark, so he was on fire going into tonight's game.

By Alan Duffy

Manchester United 1-0 Sunderland Premier League 5th November 2011

United's 1-0 victory against Sunderland won't go down as one of their better performances during Fergie's 25-year reign, as the home side failed to match the occasion with a big performance.

Nicklas Bendtner has been in fine form for club and country, with assist and goals whilst representing both, N.B-52 has been put out on loan to the North-East of England to the Stadium Of Light, Sunderland, who have had an indifferent start to the season.

Denmark face Sweden on 11th November @ the Parken stadium in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Darren Bent's first return to Wearside since his switch to Aston Villa has dominated the headlines, but Steve Bruce will more concerned with trying to find what would only be his third home win of 2011.

Alex McLeish is coming off the back of two losses; one far from unexpected, the other extremely disappointing.

By Alan Duffy

Bolton Wanderers 0-2 Sunderland Premier League 22 October 2011

Goals from Stephane Sessegnon and Nicklas Bendtner gave Sunderland their first way win of the season and consigned Owen Coyle's sorry Bolton side to yet another defeat.

Sunderland got their first win of the season this afternoon, beating Bolton Wanderers at The Reebok Stadium. Two late goals was enough for the Mackems' with Sessegnon turning sharply in the box before firing hard and low and he then setup featured player Nicklas Bendtner on the left side, before N.

The two Scandinavian's ( N.B-52 + Seb Larsson) were both arguably their countries pin up hero's last week, with featured player Nicklas Bendtner getting the winner and his 15th International goal for Denmark to send them top of their group ahead of an strong Portugal side boasting the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo, Luiz Nani and R.

Match facts, team news and quotes ahead of the Premier League clash between Arsenal and Sunderlandat the Emirates Stadium.

TEAM NEWS

Bacary Sagna's ankle injury sustained against Tottenham means he has joined Jack Wilshere, Abou Diaby and Thomas Vermaelenon the injury list, but defenders Laurent Koscielny and Sebastien Squillaci and goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny are available.

(Summary is not available.)

Both teams came out the tunnel to an amazing atmosphere in Copenhagen, Denmark. You could sure tell that the crowd was up for it. It was 'winner takes all' and Denmark deservedly took the plaudits and prize. The Dane's played 1/2 touch football all night, the Portuguese struggled to get near them in long periods of the game.

Denmark face Portugal on Tuesday evening with a win guaranteeing qualification to Euro 2012. Its a big task for the Dane's though, against a really strong Portugal side boasting some world class players in their ranks the likes of Ricardo Carvalho, Fabio Contentrao, Cristiano Ronaldo and Luiz Nani.

As from the start of the 2010/2011 season, The Gunning Hawk can no longer embed match video highlights inside articles so all we can provide to our readers are links to websites which have uploaded ...

N.B-52 will be starting in Denmark's vitally important clash with Cyprus on Friday evening @ the GSP Stadium in Nicosia @ 19.30PM. The Dane's then face Portugal in Parken @ 19:15, Copenhagen next Tuesday evening. Denmark will be missing key players such as talented attacking Ajax full back N.

By Alan Duffy

Sunderland 2-2 West Bromwich Albion Premier League 1st October 2011

The Baggies were two goals up after just five minutes of play at the Stadium of Light, courtesy of goals from James Morrison and Shane Long. However, Arsenal's Nicklas Bendtner, on a season-long loan, hauled the Black Cats back into the game, scoring one and setting up Ahmed Elmohamady for the equaliser.