Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"
Dear Stan,
My husband and I are years away from retirement and with two young children, have a hard time saving money for retirement.

...because we feel like it.

A visit from Saint Meredith

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
United socks hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

...because we feel like it.

A visit from Saint Meredith

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
United socks hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

Showing that chunky lads can cut the mustard in the top flight 1. Grant Holt (Norwich) He's a big unit. When he had his moustache he looked more like a rogue DC from a 1970s police drama than a top footballer. Nonetheless, he's proved he can score in the Premier League. 2. Jonathan Walters (Stoke) [.

Bum fluff alert! Movember moustache picture special!

It will be razors at the ready up and down the country on Thursday as ‘Movember' moustaches are shaved off. Men across the nation have been growing the face fur for a month to raise money and awareness of prostate cancer, and a number of footballers have joined in this year.

By "The Other 87 Minutes" / Senior Unemployed English Major CorrespondentsCorruption. Injustice. Obscene profits. In this week's list, we're assembling a crew of famous footballing names to Occupy FIFA. They won't rest until they bring down the soccer juggernaut (and Sharpie a moustache on Blatter while he's sleeping).

Movember 2011: Footballs best and worst

It's that time of the year again when blokes across the world prepare to shave off their moustache they have proudly been growing for 'Movember.'

View the full story here: The Mail

A news article on 2011-11-28 15:53:53 from: The Mail

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

As many will know, we are in the middle of Movember. Yup, in the UK, Australia, New Zealand, the US, Canada, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, South Africa and Ireland, chaps are being encouraged to let the above-the-lip stuff grow unchecked for a month.

And this has exactly what to do with the greatest football club in the world (that's us, in case there's any misunderstanding)?

What hasn't been reported by the media about Newcastle United this season? We've had praise for the way the team has played (except, of course, from BBC pundit and moustache fetishist Mark Lawrenson). We've had criticism about strength of depth...
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In defence of Luis Suárez | Scott Murray

The Liverpool striker has become a pariah in the Premier League thanks to little English football's strange kind of logic Having showcased his Hand of God tribute act at the last World Cup, and sunk his gnashers into a fellow pro while at Ajax, Luis Suárez was a ready-formed cartoon villain when he washed up on these shores last January.

By Chris Wright

Bit of a strange one, but Robin van Persie has had to take to Twitter this morning to refute claims (largely from jilted Chelsea fans it has to be said) that he celebrated his second goal at Stamford Bridge with a 'nazi salute'...

Just to play Devil's advocate for a second, the thrusting of the arm into the air could be construed as a little bit 'Hitler-y' to the untrained eye, though Van Persie was quick to explain his actions, tweeting thusly:

"It has been brought to my attention of some ridiculous allegations concerning my celebration of one of my goals.

By Chris Wright

Bit of a strange one, but Robin van Persie has had to take to Twitter this morning to refute claims (largely from jilted Chelsea fans it has to be said) that he celebrated his second goal at Stamford Bridge with a 'nazi salute'...

Just to play Devil's advocate for a second, the thrusting of the arm into the air could be construed as a little bit 'Hitler-y' to the untrained eye, though Van Persie was quick to explain his actions, tweeting thusly:

"It has been brought to my attention of some ridiculous allegations concerning my celebration of one of my goals.

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men's faces in the UK and around the world. The aim of which is to raise vital funds and awareness for men's health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.
Since its humble beginnings in Melbourne Australia, Movember has grown to become a truly global movement inspiring more than 1.

Tache of the Titans! Great footballing face furniture picture special

The people behind the best moustache growing charity initiative in the world bar none, Movember, are marking its 5th anniversary by demanding several iconic tache sporters from the world of, er, sport regrow their 'mo.

An online petition has been launched to get Mark Lawrenson to grow back his iconic moustache for charity. The petition calls for Lawro and three other sporting greats to revive their famed facial hair for Movember. Also targeted are the top lips of Ian Botham, Nigel Mansell and Barry McGuigan. So far only 155 people [.

An online petition has been launched to get Mark Lawrenson to grow back his iconic moustache for charity. The petition calls for Lawro and three other sporting greats to revive their famed facial hair for Movember. Also targeted are the top lips of Ian Botham, Nigel Mansell and Barry McGuigan. So far only 155 people [.

Subscribing as we do the just-in-time philosophy, here's your weekend TV guide for today's matches, with the first one kicking off in 15 minutes at Ewood Park. Check back tomorrow morning for Sunday's picks.

(As usual, we've included US TV coverage, and listed kickoff times in terms of ET.

Images: Getty Images, Reuters/Daylife.

Good heavens above, Kickettes! We know that in Fernando Torres and Zlatan Ibrahimovic we have two serious bitchface heavyweights, but these are some killer blows, even by their standards.

Whaddya reckon, lads and lasses? Does 'Nando get the edge in last weekend's contest by mobilising his back-up freckles?

Images: Getty Images, Reuters/Daylife.

Good heavens above, Kickettes! We know that in Fernando Torres and Zlatan Ibrahimovic we have two serious bitchface heavyweights, but these are some killer blows, even by their standards.

Whaddya reckon, lads and lasses? Does 'Nando get the edge in last weekend's contest by mobilising his back-up freckles?

It's Friday evening, we're on an international break and the long, long summer transfer window has finally closed; time for something a little light hearted. How about the colour of socks?
Yes, I really did this, but I cannot possibly stress this enough: I really, really don't care about the colour of socks on our home kit.

Joey, we can cope with your occasional tantrums, esoteric and downright confusing Twitter ramblings and even your dodgy hair-do. But the moustache is too much. Please stop it. Image: Alex Livesey/Getty Images/Daylife.

Carlos Valdes missing the New England match: Meh.

Carlos Valdes missing the game at Real Salt Lake? Dammit.

Due to New Englanders being scared of weather, the second scenario has come true. The options to replace Valdes are clear because, well, they are so few.

1. Drop Stefani Miglioranzi back and fill his spot with either a recovered Brian Carroll or an antsy Amobi Okugo.

By Chris Wright

"Come in Jose, this is Moustache-a-tron. See that man? The man they call 'Tito'? He threatens to undermine our quest for world domination. Poke him in the eye...NOW!"

Image: Age

Zlatan, if you think that simply removing your shirt will distract us to the point where we won't give you a hard time about you exciting new moustache/beard/ponytail combo, you are totally... er... right. And that's before we even mention the activity in your shorts. Image: AP Photo/Daylife

Preseason tour fail So, his crimes have finally caught up with him. It is clear that US visa control became uneasy when Barton revealed the moustache above. How could anyone with such a filthy tattoo have anything but a negative impact on the country? And it seems the same officials were watching the start of [.

Image via bellazon

Roll up, roll up, ladies and gents! It's Friday once again, and we are proud to announce that Guti has donned a spectacular comedy ensemble of beige suit accessorised with green in order to act as compere for our revered Good Week/Bad Week post. Don't cha just love the effort he's gone to, just to amuse us ?

Image via tumblr.

Ok, so we're busted. We over-promised consistency with the Thursday Thigh Off and now we have to approach our beloved readers on bended knee and beg for forgiveness at our failure to deliver. Don't worry, we've memoed ourselves a reminder to post tomorrow and promise to never double book ourselves during the same time as our weekly Iker poster dusting sesh.

How do you start a match review when the ninety minutes you've witnessed is so much more than just a match? The rivers of bad blood these two teams share had already given the tie its opera storyline, and if you had time to tear your eyes away from all the glamour in the papers, you would have seen 22 world class players take to the pitch in what was, at its core, a fantastic football match.

Here are a bunch of matches to watch over the next few days a few on Saturday, one Sunday, and one Monday. Which takes you right up to Tuesday...and the start of the Champions League Round of 16. Bananas.

Saturday, Feb 12

England, Manchester United-Manchester City 7:30am FSC: Manchester derby!

If you scour the Arsenal blogosphere on a daily basis the name Critic will need no introduction. He's a passionate Desi Gooner like yours truly and has contributed the following piece. I hope you will find it a nice change from my usual analytical ramblings.

It has been a crazy transfer month, with even crazier rumors.

You can take a club to Turkey but can you turkey a club?

It was quite a surprise when word leaked out this past autumn that Toronto FC would be spending its preseason in Turkey. In the previous four years, TFC were more like Quebecois senior citizens who went to Florida for the winter. Their opponents usually resembled Old-Age Home U-90 teams too.