Liverpool monster Mamadou Sakho banned from the club gym

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Sakho: "It's all going well and I've settled in quickly. I'm excited about the project here." Liverpool FC (@LFC) September 20, 2013 Liverpool defender Mamadou Sakho has been banned from the training ground gym for being too strong. The Frenchman is barred from using the equipment until the Reds get it reinforced.

Got, Not Got: the unholy horror of the Frankenstein’s monster football sticker

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Got, Not Got: the unholy horror of the Frankenstein's monster football sticker

There aren't many things in life that can cause man or boy as much alarm as a hastily recoloured kit on a football card or sticker. For starters, there's the creeping sense of injustice as you see through the sticker company's little ruse – spotting the iffy, last-minute airbrushing and feeling soiled by the messy evidence of a crime.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo And Messi Want Ibra Money

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When Zltan Ibrahimovic signed his monster deal with Paris Saint-Germain this summer, his contract became the global benchmark for the rest of the world's football stars. An ironically, first in line to negotiate new deals after Ibra's record breaking contract are the two best players in the world; Leo Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Cristiano Ronaldo takes four times as many shots as Czechs, puts Portugal in semifinals

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The Czech Republic managed just two shots (neither on target) in their 1-0 Euro 2012 quarterfinal loss to Portugal. Cristiano Ronaldo, meanwhile, had eight all by himself, including the header that scored the match's only goal.

After a frustrating first half in which Ronaldo played brilliantly but just couldn't hit anything but the post, his persistence finally payed off when Joao Moutinho delivered an excellent cross to set up his equally excellent header in the 79th minute.

Creatures of Habit (APOEL Nicosia 0 - Real Madrid 3)

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Mr. Champions League does it again: Karim Benzema broke APOEL's dam last night What is that smell?.. or rather, that scent? That my friends is the smell of the Champions League Semi-Final. . Short of a catastrophe that would be far greater than Alcorconzo, Mourinho and his men would likely be arranging early travel plans to Munich – not for the Final, but to likely to meet Bayern in the Semi-Finals (unless Marseille would have something to say about it).

Resuming Business as Usual (Real Madrid 5 – Real Sociedad 1)

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Real Madrid's 3-Headed Attacking Monster: When Ronaldo, Benzema and Pipita work TOGETHER, they're unstoppable Well, we all missed that didn't we? A 5-1 scoreline at the Bernabeu off an utterly dominant performance from our boys in white – the sort of performance that reminded us of Real Madrid circa late-2011: dominant in possession, fast and direct in attack and elegant in defense (yes, that's how I'd like to describe Varane's defensive style).

locker room

Training in Tokyo

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As the sun goes down in Tokyo, the USA hits the field for training

The U.S. U-20 WNT arrived in Tokyo on Sept. 1 and hit the training field in the afternoon. The cooler evening temperatures with a nice breeze were much appreciated by the U.S. team that had been training and playing in hot, muggy weather this entire trip.

Recap: Portland hangs on for a point on the road

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Quick Recap:

Portland uses a lot of energy in the first half to get the early goal but can't come up with it. The second half was a war of attrition as the humidity seemed to play havoc on the Timbers but they eke out the draw because of a monster night from Troy Perkins. Another 0-0 draw.

First Half:

Portland came out with the almost the same line-up as the Columbus game except for Steven Smith got the start over Mike Chabala.


DTotD: Zlatan Ibrahimovic is already hurting his much weaker PSG teammates

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Like the truly dominant creature that he is, Zlatan Ibrahimovic does not waste time in exerting his superiority over whatever herd he finds himself leading. So even though he has only been training with his new PSG teammates for a few days, he has already decided to instill the fear of Zlatan in them by inflicting pain upon several of them in one training session.

Artur Boruc’s Friday Rage List

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1. I LOVE YOU -- I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! NOW STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!! STOP IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Holding Out For A Brighter Future

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Any chance there's a monster of a player waiting to come out?

Still pissed over the RvP thing? Yeah, well so am I. But if you're on any social network, this topic probably has been discussed to the death and all points exhausted. Thus I'm not going to touch it on here. Whatever happens, happens.

Arsenal 1-0 Man City – 62% Possession, 100% Perfection!

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Man City Analysis by SV It has been just over an hour since Arsenal deservedly beat Manchester City and, I'll tell you what, my pulse rate is still well above ninety. This was an absolute cracker of a match; it didn't have the goals, but it had some stupendous football – all of which coming [...]


Craven Cottage Newsround at related • 2 views

Some follow-up observations:

The team was hell-bent on keeping shape, which gave us some perhaps surprising (but perhaps not) tackling information. Etuhu and Murphy, and the entire back four, really didn't go for many tackles. Instead Dempsey, Dembele, and to a lesser extent, Ruiz, were doing a lot of the actual harrying.

champions league trophy

The source of Manuel Neuer’s Power – Revealed!

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By now we can all recognize that Manuel Neuer, that strapping ideal of aryan idealism, is awesome. He may have let the Champions league trophy slip through his fingers last month, but not for lack of scoring a PK and saving a couple in the shootout.

Today, while ensuring his goal was mostly unpenetrated, he came out to collect the ball around the 25 yard mark and swing play to the opposite flank.

Franck Ribery’s ‘monster glitter’ watch is all of those things and more

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Losing the Champions League final at home to Chelsea on penalties was surely a difficult experience for Franck Ribery, but as he turns his attention from club to country, he now has a ridiculous watch.

Ribery wore the large custom watch that Bild calls a "monster glitter clock" during a press conference as France prepares for Euro 12 and it proved to be an attention grabber.


How do you say "Ho hum" in Texan?

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I'm really quite sorry if I'm continually boring you... but Fulham goal monster Clint Dempsey has chowed down on another pair in the first half at Bolton. This means we are not only on the lookout for three goal clips (including Bradley's for the prior post), but also that we are on possible hat trick alert.

Catania’s Giovanni Marchese Scores Fantastic 30-Yard Volley vs Novara (Video)

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By Chris Wright

This is from a week or so ago but, tardy as it be, it's definitely worthy of a belated shufty if you, like us, missed it at the time.

With the ball coming down from the ether from a looping corner, Catania left-back Giovanni Marchese sets himself and blasts a peach of a volley past Novara 'keeper Samir Ujkani to score his side's second goal in their 3-1 victory.

"You keep using that word. I think that word means exactly what you think it means."

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Hello... my name is Deuce Montoya. You keel my fadder. Prepare to concede a pair. Yes, ho hum, in Fulham's weather-stripping 5-0 rout of Wolverhampton, Clint Dempsey scored (yawn) - and then again. The goal monster now has (best sit down for this one): - 12 EPL goals, matching last year's career high, and 18 overall- 14 goals in his last 18 games for club and country- Eight during Fulham's

Yaya Toure Scores Fearsome 30-Yard Freekick vs Equatorial Guinea (Video)

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By Chris Wright

'Twas the Africa Cup of Nations quarter-finals over the weekend, with Ivory Coast whupping co-hosts Equatorial Guinea 3-0 on Saturday courtesy of a brace from young Didier of Drogbashire and a colossal 32.808399-yard free-kick from Yaya Toure...

Would you just look at the swing on that?

Everton 1-2 Bolton: Tim Howard Scores From 102 Yards, Trotters Nab Crucial Points (Photos & Highlights)

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By Chris Wright

Spectacularly wind-assisted if may have been, but Everton's Tim Howard became the fourth 'keeper in Premier League history to get his name on the scoresheet after punting home the opener against Bolton at Goodison last night from 102, count 'em, 102 yards.

To me, this is a big deal.

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The best answer for a new USMNT system? More of it, sooner. Now, we are actually fully designed to make these leaps we like to to talk about. Claudio Reyna is THE MAN.And gosh, I did not even recognize former Steamers goal monster Don Ebert at first.- Greg Seltzer

The Rest

Some Soccer News For Mon Sep 17, 2012

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3 more monster goals for Jozy Altidore of Alkmaar Zaanstreek. See them right here. This gives him 7 goals in 5 games this season.
-What this shows me is that the USA has no idea how to feed the ball to the red hot striker.


Real Madrid v Manchester City in the UEFA Champions League on Tuesday is huge for the two managers - both successful at Inter Milan, one moreso than the other - Jose Mourinho v Roberto Mancini.

USA 1, Jamaica 0: Retro match diary

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To peep this monster (replete with HEYDUDE SIGHTING),skip on over to TSG and find it here. Don't judge me for my Lindsay Lohan reference. This also happened for the Herc Jerk, which was nice: - Will Parchman

The Alaskan Assassin

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U.S. U-20 WNT forward Kelly Cobb is making history as the first player from the state of Alaska to make a U.S. Women's World Cup Team. The Duke striker scored 11 goals with nine assists during a banner freshman year last season and at 5-foot-9 with speed and strength is a handful for any defense.

Turns out that Cobb is also quite the outdoorswoman.

Preview Chat: Talking the Chicago Fire with Hot Time in Old Town

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The Brotherly Game spoke with Ryan Sealock of Hot Time in Old Town, SB Nation's Chicago Fire site, ahead of tomorrow's game between the Philadelphia Union and the Fire.

The Brotherly Game: Last season Oduro had a monster year and had some good play against the Union.

Learning About Manchester United

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This shot of the gents from Manchester United is an excellent little bit o'insight into their minds though mostly Antonio Valencia, who ducks into the background, cloaked in the safety of shadows, before the actual shot, where he stands well in front of the monster and poses as though he's a-okay with it all.

Former youth team player offers refreshing take on Terry

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You may or may not have seen this earlier today. I retweeted it via @JoeTweeds a few hours ago.

Either way, it's a very good read and a refreshingly different take on John Terry than the ones we've been force-fed over the past few months. No, he's not a monster. Sorry, media.

Below is an excerpt.

Saprissa Reserves 0 - US U-23's 0

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The United States Under-23 National Team scrimmaged Saprissa's reserves today in Costa Rica. Playing at the Monster's Cave, aka Estadio Ricardo Saprissa Ayma, the two teams finished scoreless. USA: 1-Zac MacMath; 4-Kofi Sarkodie (17-Sheanon Williams, 77), 3-Zarek Valentin (capt.) (19-Royal-Dominique Fennell, 77), 2-Sebastien Ibeagha (Andrew Wenger, 46), 5-Jorge Villafana; 6-Amobi Okugo (15-Mix Diskerud, 46), 8-Jared Jeffrey (13-Michael Stephens, 61), 10-Dilly Duka (12-Isaac Acuna, 67); 7-Freddy Adu, 9-Tony Taylor (11-Jack McInerney, 70), 11-Jack McInerney (14-Joe Corona,.

SuperDraft what, who and why: Possible Union selections

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The MLS SuperDraft is Thursday, January 12 at 12pm ET (ESPN2, ESPN3). The Philadelphia Union have the 13th, 32nd and 35th picks this year, and nobody knows what the team will do. PSP runs down some of the options.

Tony Cascio

What: Winger

Why: Some experts believe the Union will look to solidify their wing play by adding a player like UConn's Tony Cascio.

Confused Kaka Graciously Accepts Lifetime Literary Achievement Award

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::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Elliott,
editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

As the year comes to an end, awards circulate. Everybody speculates as to who will win the Ballon d'Or. Some say Messi. Others say Xavi. A few say Ronaldo. However, the most shocking award involves none other than Ricardo Kaka.

This just in, and it’s amazing: Barca only have first refusal on Romeu

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Most of us have been quietly, and painfully, waiting for the day when Barcelona shows up at Cobham with a few million euro and trudges back to Catalonia with a monster of a holding midfielder named Oriol Romeu in its pocket. As it happens, that's probably not going to happen. Not unless Chelsea loses its mind in the near future that is.

CL Recap: Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Chelsea

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Absolutely pathetic.

Dothraki Ballack

Miserable stuff. Just terrible across the board. It seems to go from bad to worse every day around these parts, and if you're looking for excuses I'm fresh out. There really isn't any excuse that would work though, it's just a damn fact that our squad are playing like a pub team.