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... and I missed the Knicks game, too. Oh Arsene, my Aresene. God bless you. After a thoroughly
forgettable weekend in the Premier League, you gave us the gift that keeps on the giving -- the
ArseneFAIL -- losing 3-2 at Swansea City Sunday. Problem is, this one is hard to laugh about. There
are no referees to yell at or cynical tactics by the opposition to blame.
Mouth-watering affair, eh? Once again we hit the point in the English Premier League season when
the weather gets cold, the pitches get icy and the powers that be decide its best to cram in as
many games as possible hell be damned for the players. We'll get into that a little more later, but
for now it's games .
Yuuup (tm) ... Yakubu, yes, that Yakubu scored four goals Saturday for Blackburn Rovers in a 4-2
win over Swansea City. That's one of those great sports photos that tells the entire story, as the
Swansea players are seemingly in as much shock as everyone else on planet Earth. Alternately, the
standing still, jaw dropped, eyebrows raised defense probably (stress probably) isn't the best way
to go
"I was punched in the face. What's your excuse?" -- Max FischerIn the many years since I've started
clattering away in this corner of the World Wide Web, I'd like to think we've established a solid
rapport. Me, the crackpot blogger, you the patient, much appreciated reader. So with that said, it
doesn't seem necessary to attribute that quote any further.
Contrary to popular belief, your humble little soccer blogger here, sort of has a life. Sort of. Or
at least as much of a life anyone who attempts to assemble sentences together on the Internet about
soccer actually can have.Hey, living is a lot easier when you know your own limitations.That's my
roundabout way of saying that one of the few things that might be considered "a life" is playing
So ... since it was a topic rife for parody let's just dig in and have a big, fat, life-affirming
laugh at LeBron James first trip to Anfield, err, Anfield Stadium. For whatever the reason LeBron,
the master of the McNugget, getting the proper name of the home ground to a club he allegedly owns
a percentage of made me laugh to no end.
Now that was a little more like it. Credit to @danhodes for a nice screen cap of Fox Soccer's
continual production failures -- beyond Warren Barton's continued employment.Nothing
earth-shattering developed from this weekend's round of games. Really the only-eye opening event
was Fulham erupting for a six-goal shellacking of QPR.
Guessing, the Neil Warnock face in the picture above pretty much sums up the Premier League
weekend, which was ... eh?My ego isn't big enough, well hold that thought, let's frame it this way.
Nobody on Earth -- my parents included -- want to waste 39 seconds of their Monday reading about me
patting myself on the back for going 8-1 (through Sunday) on my EPL Round 6 picks.
Order in the court!Hold the phone!Wait a cotton pickin' second!Haven't we heard this EPL script
before? Manchester United wins. Fernando Torres re-writes the term epic fail. Arsenal plumb even
lower depths. Spurs surprise when you least expect it. Liverpool frustrates. Manchester City stalls
to a draw.
Hey, your Internets time is important in this crazy work-a-day whole, so your humble author will
try not to waste very much of your time on a Monday morning. In fact, consider this Cal Ripken, Jr.
coming in during the eighth inning of a baseball game to pinch hit in order to keep his consecutive
games played streak alive.
Here's the space where we come to bury Arsene Wenger, to piss on his 15-year tenure in charge of
Arsenal, to question if the persnickety Frenchman has any clue whatsoever. Actually, as much fun as
it is to delight in the failures and foibles of Wenger, let's get a little perspective for a second
-- yeah, admittedly not as fun.
Leslie Knope: Ron, we're back. Ron Swanson: Bully. -- "Parks and Recreation," Rainy Day. Eight
matches into the 2011-12 Barclay's English Premier League season and it's hard to not to take a
Swansonian approach to what transpired. A paltry 14 goals. Three scoreless draws -- including a
Fulham/Aston Villa snoozer on ESPN2 that prompted Ian Darke to tweet an apology for its direness.
There is a day for many American sports fans when they become enlightened about the concept of
relegation and promotion in various professional sporting leagues around the world. Naturally ideas
of doing it for professional baseball start dancing around in your head, like dropping the
Pittsburgh Pirates for a club from Triple-A, never mind the fact the structure of almost all
American sports
Call it gone in 37 seconds.That's all the time it took for Ji-Sung Park to thread a pass to
Chicharito behind the falling over David Luiz (cue the Sideshow Bob framing Krusty the Klown jokes)
and for the Mexican scoring-machine to put Manchester United ahead 1-0 over Chelsea in the clash to
all but decide the 2010-11 Premier League title.
"It's nevah you, Jim." -- Mike Francesa, WFAN host/sports talk radio icon.Highly recommend clicking
on that link. Not sure who's got the more unassailable ego, in their own mind at least, Francesa or
Arsene Wenger? Both are two men who've never admitted they've made a mistake, earning the
respective nicknames of the Sports Pope and the Professor.
Another weekend, another step closer to the title for Manchester United.Nominally Arsenal is still
technically alive, by virtue of keeping pace with United via a 3-1 away win at Blackpool. The
Gunners aren't totally dead, chasing seven points with a game-in-hand AND a match against
United.United aren't a world-beating collection of stars who take your breath away every time they
set foot on the
Tony Soprano would argue that "remember when?" is the lowest form of conversation.A compelling
counter-argument could be made for weather related chit chats being the bottom of the conversation
barrel. Friday, on the East Coast at least, it seemed like everyone and their youthful grandmothers
felt compelled to update their status to proclaim how much they just looooove the first hints of
spring.
Greetings, Internets. The gleeful mockery of Arsene Wenger and Arsenal will be put on pause for
today's post-o-rama.Instead, we'll talk about the events in the Premier League, a strange weekend
lacking anything from the Top Five. Chelse, Spurs and Arsenal (league-wise) didn't play, while
Manchester United and Manchester City tried to out-snooze each other.
When I sit down to write these weekly, weekend Premier League thingamajigs, it's usually over the
course of a couple days. A thought here, a thought there. Come Monday morning I'll read it over in
a futile attempt to correct typos, misplaced words and overall kindergarten-level syntax.This
particular Monday, in the wake of my New York Jets losing in the AFC Championship game I simply
don't have
Weird weekend in the Premier League.Four huge matches on Sunday, including three white-hot derbies
... and four draws.Let's dig into what happened.***The Darned (savvy) United:If you've been
regularly reading here the last couple weeks and months, you know I've been scant in my praise of
Manchester United this campaign, openly wondering if this team is any good and worthy of being atop
the
Saturday afternoon, after the Premier League games wrapped up, I made it a point to avoid all
college bowl games. Meant nothing to me. No sense supporting ESPN with increased Neilsen rating to
support a system that is outdated and is a sham to begin with. Not that I'm a zealot for a NCAA
tournament-like playoff bracket, but I'm not a mindless drone that is simply going to watch two
teams play
