Okay okay, I guess I have to write something about this Thierry Henry hand ball or something. Here is the obligatory (and slightly sarcastic) background info already reported: The World Cup playoffs are seeded, seemingly hurting the minnows like Republic of Ireland. Then, Ireland are given an away game in Paris for the second leg, presumably giving them yet another disadvantage.

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Despite nicking a few decent results in recent times (a draw with Portugal comes to mind), football's minnows Lichtenstein proved to be nothing more than than a shy sparring partner to a mixed lineup of "Vatreni" that Bilic had come out with. Croatia came up with a convincing 5:0 victory, putting one past the visiting goalie as early as in the first minute of the match.

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Romantic results in the oldest football tournament in the world and giant-killing in Spain, Asian champions, diving in England and violence in the women's game in the USA all feature in this week's good, the bad and the ugly. Vocabulary support can be found for the words in bold at the foot of the post.

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What's a bigger embarrassment? Real Madrid labouring to a 1-0 home win over Alcorcon with their big guns out on show, or Alcorcón demolishing Real Madrid 4-0 at their 3,000-capacity Santo Domingo stadium with half of the mini-Galacticos day-dreaming out on the pitch?

The answer? Both are equally disgraceful.

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Real Madrid failed to overturn a four goal deficit and were toppled by minnows Alcorcon.

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Cameroon football supporters were contemplating the unthinkable just two months ago – a second consecutive World Cup without their national team. The country that had qualified a record five times from Africa were bottom of Group 1 in the final elimination phase for the 2010 tournament in South Africa. Click to continue reading...

So a new President and around 250 million pounds later, Real Madrid find themselves in exactly the same position as they were at the end of Bernd Schuster's ill-fated rated reign in 2008.

With the loss at Alcorcon in the Copa del Rey all Real Madrid's match day personnel have been thrown into the spot-light as, when coupled with the suspect draw at Sporting Gijon, the Real Madrid express train has, temporarily at least, ran out of steam.

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A measly six days ago, Bobo Vieri a man without a club since he terminated his deal with Atalanta because fans "expected too much from him" announced his retirement by unequivocally stating:

"I don't want to play anymore and I'm not even tempted to play abroad."

And now, just SIX DAYS LATER he's about to sign with Brazilian minnows Botafogo.

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Spanish third-division side A.D. Alcorcon humbled a strong Real Madrid side 4 -0 in a Copa del Rey round of 32 match last night. The result of the game reflected the run of play as the minnows from the Madrid suburbs outplayed the European giant in front of 3,000 or so noisy fans. Karim Benzema, Raúl González, [. Click to continue reading...

Incredible.

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Alcorcon ply their trade in the third tier of the Spanish league and when they came up against big spending La Liga giants Real Madrid in the first leg of this Copa Del Rey (the Spanish equivalent of the FA Cup) they were probably just dreaming of the much needed cash the tie would generate, however the Alcorcon players had other ideas.

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An incredible upset in the Copa Del Rey as minnows Alcoron managed to thrash La Liga giants Real Madrid.

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1st Half Highlights

1-0 Borja

2-0 Arbeloa (Own Goal)

3-0 Ernesto

4-0 Borja

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Another exciting Champions League week is in the books, and before we switch gears back to the Premier League, let's have a look at ten things we learned from the midweek Champions League fixtures.

10Tuesday is for goals. Fans and neutrals around the world were treated to some thrilling matches on Tuesday.

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A bizarre night of Champions League football matches but a great win for the so-called 'minnows' of Group F. By the way, if I had just scored the winning goal against Barcelona at the Camp Nou, I'd be expecting a blow job from everyone on the team too... manager included! Match ... Click to continue reading...

A bizarre night of Champions League football matches but a great win for the so-called 'minnows' of Group F. By the way, if I had just scored the winning goal against Barcelona at the Camp Nou, I'd be expecting a blow job from everyone on the team too... manager included! Match ... Click to continue reading...

Bafana's Brazilian coach, Joel Santana, is out of a job. Pallid performances and pitiful results sunk the former Flamengo coach. "In the bigger picture and the interest of the country," said Mandla Mazibuko, SAFA vice-president, "he [Santana] realized while he was doing his best, his best was not good enough.

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Liverpool and Rangers are in urgent need of victory in the UEFA Champions League, while Arsenal can extend their 100 per cent start.
Liverpool vs. Lyon: Preview
Gerrard back as Liverpool aim to avoid worst run in 22 years.
Debrecen vs. Fiorentina: Preview
Barcelona vs. Click to continue reading...

Blanco to the rescue again
Now that the Hex has drawn to a close, we know the three teams that are moving on to South Africa, and which one still has some work to do. CONCACAF always gets a bad rap, from within and without, in regard to its level of play. Regardless, this has been the most competitive hex since its inception in 1998: 5 teams were still alive with 2 matches to go. Click to continue reading...

On Wednesday night two of the world's biggest clubs meet in the Champions League.� La Liga giants Real Madrid take on Serie A outfit AC Milan in what surely has to be the pick of the Champions League action.

The two sides have had contrasting fortunes in both league and cup this season.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic and his Sweden national teammates narrowly failed to qualify for a UEFA World Cup qualifying playoff spot on Wednesday night. The Swedes did what they could by beating Albania 4-1 in Solna. However, their progress in the qualification process was made impossible by Portugal's 4-0 trouncing of minnows Malta. Click to continue reading...

1. The governing bodies have finally succeeded in stacking the deck so firmly in favour of the major footballing nations that it is almost impossible for them not to qualify. Portugal won just two of their first seven games, but still managed to reach the playoffs simply because over the course of such a long group, they had time to recover.

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Romania eased to an easy win over Group 7 minnows Faroe Islands.

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Tabloid offers pretty low reward for pretty impossible task The Czech Republic recognises that its chances of qualifying for the World Cup are pretty bleak. They need to beat Northern Ireland tonight and hope that minnows San Marino can beat Slovenia to allow them to sneak into a play-off spot. Czech newspaper Blesk is offering San [. Click to continue reading...

Switzerland swept to a comfortable win over minnows Luxembourg and edged that bit nearer to sealing top spot in Group 2.

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Cameroon took a massive step towards qualification with this comprehensive victory over minnows Togo.

1-0 Geremi

2-0 Makoun

3-0 Emana

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Wenger looks to strengthen his back line.

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Arsène Wenger of Arsenal, the prestigious London club has an on his eye on two jewels of the defense of Bari: Leonardo Bonucci and Andrea Ranocchia.

"At San Siro Arsenal scouts were present to watch Bari hold AC Milan to a goalless draw" (Corriere del mezzogiorno)

The young Italian centre back pairing of Bonucci and Ranocchia has been very effective this season, conceding just four goals in the first seven Serie A games of this season.

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English club found to have acted within guidelines.

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Manchester United have been cleared by Fifa to sign 16-year-old Paul Pogba.

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I am sure that we can all agree that Milan's season so far has been a disaster. Losing to European minnows FC Zurich at home in the Champions League is all but irrefutable evidence of this. So how did we get here? How has this most unwelcome situation been visited upon us? First of the [...] Click to continue reading...

As Arsenal prepare for Matchday 2 of the Champions League Group Stage this evening, it is hard to look at the changes made to this part of the tournament by Michel Platini, European football's equivalent to the anti-christ, as being, in any way, beneficial to the competition.

Platini's motives are somewhat sound, even if his execution is not.

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Wednesday night sees last years runners up Manchester United take centre stage, as they face Bundesliga champions Wolfsburg at Old Trafford. Both teams got off to a winning start in week one but with home advantage, it's United that will be under the most pressure to perform in week two.

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I am sure that we can all agree that Milan's season so far has been a disaster. Losing to European minnows FC Zurich at home in the Champions League is all but irrefutable evidence of this. So how did we get here? How has this most unwelcome situation been visited upon us? First of the [...] Click to continue reading...

Wenger sets sights on young Spaniard.

Arsenal could be about to spend £2m on parmesan and crouton-based Osasuna full-back Cesar Azpilicueta. "At the moment, I can only concentrate on working with Osasuna and progressing my football," Azpilicueta said yesterday. (Guardian)

20 year old right wing back Cesar Azpilicueta is apparently one of the hottest prospects in Spanish football, progressing through the ranks La Liga minnows Osasuna whilst also moving through the international set up to within sight of a full call up to the Spanish national team.

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There was an awkward feeling coming into the tournament since everyone knew that there would be a new champion being crowned since Argentina did not qualify. There were various questions being asked about various teams prior to the 2009 edition of the FIFA U-20 World Cup in Egypt, it was the answers that raised the most eyebrows. Click to continue reading...

Time to move on?

Arsenal striker Carlos Vela is a shock January transfer window target of Spanish basement boys Xerez.

Vela has failed to command a place in the Gunners starting XI since joining in 2005 and the Mexico forward is eager for first team football to aid his country's World Cup challenge.

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Real Madrid striker Ruud van Nistelrooy returned after a long spell on the sidelines to provide an assist and score another in his side's emphatic 5-0 victory over La Liga minnows Xerez. While the focus of the game initially� remained on another former Manchester United star, Cristiano Ronaldo who scored twice to make it six goals in his four appearances it was his Dutch teammate who eventually� created most of the headlines.

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To say it's been a contrasting start to the season for the two major teams in Madrid would be a massive understatement. On one side, Real are already starting to look like the real deal and currently sit top of the La Liga table with 11 goals and 9 points from their opening three matches.

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