Welcome to Offbeat Wednesday, where we cover the wacky side of football! Today, read about the German National Team's bizarre new campaign, Mourinho's Carpark 'Me Time', Harry Kewell's Tennis Day Out and Guti's Holiday!

Now now, don't get all excited! You're not looking at the latest 80′s German pop band founded by Lothar Matthäus, but it's close to the truth.

Barcelona [2 : 2] Real Madrid
No. of Yellow Cards : 9
No. Of Red Cards : 1

Somewhere beneath this 'Blaugrana Happiness Pile' lies Pedro, who scored the opening goal in Barca's 2-2 draw with Real Madrid at the Nou Camp last night.

After witnessing Manchester United defeat against Blackburn Rovers for our New Year's Eve match, I would touch on another significant matter to the football world, the opening of the transfer window....
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By Puck Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to Puck's Happy Hour. Hopefully the Holiday Season is treating you well with your family, friends, and, of course, cocktails filling the calendar. After spending some time in Upstate New York with the family, I am back at the TYAC home office taking some much needed time to [.

Real Madrid's Pipita Higuain is quite a likable hombre, isn't he? Come on now, Blaugranas... Madrid needs their own Moc Moc trio and we're pretty sure these two can improve the animosity between Brasil and Argentina!

Anyway, we just had to share Los Blancos' Christmas video with you even though you're clearly overstuffed with all that roast turkey by now.

"Nothing like posing for a photo with you looking at your own Facebook page, mann, nothing like it!" - via Ozil's Facebook Page

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Barcelona beware: Real Madrid is ready to stage a coup in La Liga. No word as to whether it will be a peaceful coup of speedy, attacking soccer, or a... Read more »

Feliz Martes! The FIFA Ballon d'Or preliminary list of 23 men has been finalised and although the final 3 names will be announced on December 5th, you have an entire month to gloss over this. There haven't been many surprises and we've highlighted whom we think will probably and predictably make the cut based on the votes and if it doesn't work out, they can still make this into a Ballon d'Or reality TV show!

Bayern Munich youngster Thomas Muller has revealed that he turned down the opportunity to join then-Barclays Premier League champions Chelsea in the aftermath of Germany's impressive 2010 World Cup campaign.

Muller, who won the Golden Boot with his five goals as well as three assists in South Africa, contributed to the demolition of Argentina and England before the Germans exited the tournament with a 1-0 defeat to eventual champions Spain.

"Do you guys do Pizza delivery? Or Falafel?!! " : Mesut Ozil at the Germany-Turkey match in Istanbul / via Reuters

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There's nothing that screams "German Simon Cowell!" more than this shot of Joachim Loew sitting comfortably at yesterday's German NT press conference. Yeah, it's totally normal to put a black sofa at the training ground my dad did it once, Dunga sat on it.

Sami Khedira : "Ja ja, Freunde, I'm late for training but Mesut's not turning up, so who cares?"

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In The Stands' Rolly Pelovangu grabs a cold beer before looking ahead to another season of the UEFA Champions League – the pinnacle of club football. We all know how the theme song goes as 22 players lineup prior to kick-off looking vacantly at the stands where some European football bureaucrat in a grey suit, [.

Champions League Preview: Real and Barca the teams to beat - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

It seems that in almost every aspect of the game, two clubs dominate the footballing world. They are Spanish super heavyweights Real Madrid and Barcelona. Any team boasting multiple stars is said to echo Real's Galactico era, while teams from League Two to the K-League are said to be a mini-Barcelona.

Well, at least everyone's smiling in the first row at UEFA'S 13th Elite football Club Coaches Forum which took place yesterday. Noticeably missing : the coaches of Liverpool and Real Madrid. Guess no one wants to be in the same room as MouMou these days, eh?

By Chris Wright

A photograph has surfaced of Mesut Ozil huffing away on a cheeky tab while sunning himself aboard a yacht in Ibiza over the summer and, when taken to task by German daily BILD over being caught out with a filthy lung dart in his mouth, promptly gave the lamest excuse imaginable:

"I was on a yacht on vacation and so I didn't notice I was being photographed.

December 11th.

That's the next time these two monstrosities will face one another, perhaps in a league-mandated steel cage with Marquess of Queensbury rules and everyone signing a pre-match waiver for bodily harm/death.

An exceptional war of words already, with Pique declaring "Mourinho is wrecking Spanish football" and Jose retorting that Barcelona uses the tactics of a "small team".

Wie gehts, amigos?!! Simply because this goal made Mesut Ozil a worldwide trending topic on Twitter last night, here's his goal in Germany's Euro 2012 qualifying match against Azerbajian.

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All we can say is... this video featuring Mesut Ozil and German national team futbolita Fatmire Bajramaj is fantastisch!

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Did you know that the Germans and Brazilians at Madrid converse with one another Spanish? Well, duh! / via Real Madrid

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La Liga Lowdown, Jornada 27: Pellegrini's decision backfires on relegation-threatened Málaga is a post from: Just Football

Things aren't looking good for Málaga, and this week coach Manuel Pellegrini is the villain. Well, "villain" might be slightly harsh and probably sounds like something straight from a Marca editorial, but it hasn't been the best of weeks for the former Real Madrid boss, let's say.

There are some things in life which are just so predictable. Night and Day, death and taxes, Halley's Comet, Celtic or Rangers winning the SPL and a full moon. Add to that list Barcelona or Real Madrid winning La Liga.

Ozil Has impressed this season, but is his job made easy with such a huge amount of class around him?

I think I'll let the visuals do the talking. A highly entertaining game, with former Real graduate Daniel Pajero taking the plaudits for his performance for Getafe...

The deadly duo of Cristiano Ronaldo and Mesut Oezil was ever present again for Madrid. Ronaldo, put Los Blanco ahead before Ozil doubled the lead eary on in the game.