In case you're wondering what all the screamingis about, Arsenal lost a football match last night. It was quite an important match and they lost fairlyheavily.
Some have taken Bayern Munich's 5-1 nobbling of the Gunners to be a sure signofthe impending apocalypse, some are viewingit as a harbinger of the Ozymandian demise of Arsene Wenger's empire and some, perhaps naively, are simply taking it as a thoroughly embarrassing football result.
With his mind already swimming at the mere thought of having to navigate Celtic through a Champions League game against Barcelona, manager Brendan Rodgers was left well and truly stumped by a baffling question pitted in his pre-match press conference.
The bemusement was apparent on Rodgers' face as the journalist responsible who, in fairness, was obviously speaking in his second language embarked on a long and meandering question about Lionel Messi and the Loch Ness monster.
Having slogged through several rounds of preliminary play-offs, UEFA went and welcomed all 10 teams that made it through qualifying to reach the group stageby telling them to 'f**k off'.
In a Tweet posted on the official Champions League Twitter account, an emoji mix-up saw UEFA usher Man City, Celtic, Borussia Monchengladbach, Porto, Monaco, Ludogorets, Rostov, Copenhagen, Legia WarsawandDinamo Zagrebthrough to the next stage with a rather insulting assessment of their respective achievements.
Sutton United have announced that they'll be turning out for next Monday's FA Cup fifth-round clash against Arsenal with The Sun's logo emblazoned across their shirts.
Specifically, the National League side have struck a deal to have SunBet replace their usual sponsor, Green Go Waste, on their jerseysfor the televised game.
Ever wondered what it might look like when Facebook's office football teamsquare off against their Airbnbcounterparts after work on a Thursday night?
Well, wonder no more compadres, for the good people at Graphic Untd have spent their recent weeks drafting up a series of fantasy kits for a whole raft of different apps.
As you may or may not be aware, Gary Neville recently incurred the wrath of Arsenal Fan TV after criticising the 'Wenger Out' brigade while co-commentating on the Gunners' 3-1 defeat against Chelsea a week or so back.
Neville branded one fan "an idiot" for holding up an anti-Wenger placard during the match before going on to criticise Arsenal Fan TV directly after the match, calling the infamously rant-orientated Youtube channel an "embarrassment" to the club.
Manchester United endured a difficult evening against Hull City on Wednesday night, with the Red Devils failing to break down Marco Silva's hardworking side.
After the game, a tetchy Jose Mourinho snapped at a BBC reporter before walking out of the interview.
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Despite creating a number of good chances, United couldn't find their way past an heroicEldin Jakupovic, much to the frustration of Mourinho.
Tributes have been flooding in from all and sundry after Graham Taylorsadly passed away on Thursdayat the age of 72.
Shortly after receiving news that his former BBC Radio colleague had gone, Mark Pougatch put together a wonderful tribute in honour of his friend, which he subsequently delivered with aplomb live on air.
Ahead of Thursday's NBA clash between the Indiana Pacers and Denver Nuggets at the O2 Arena, BT Sport have put together a rather nifty video involving Arsenal stars Alex Iwobi, Aaron Ramsey and Per Mertesacker along with basketball acrobatic team the Dunking Devils.
The Dunking Devils, who appeared on Britain's Got Talent last year, pull off some pretty spectacular moves with the help of the Arsenal trio, with Iwobi looking particularly excited at the whole thing!
With mouth operating at twice the speed of brain as per, Chris Kamara endured another of his trademark 'episodes' while watchingthe Crystal Palace-Man City game for Sky Sports yesterday afternoon.
Attempting to utter the name of Bacary Sagna while reporting in from Selhurst Park, Kamara completely mangled the City full-back's name, resulting in scenes of a decidedly muddled nature.
A below-par Arsenal fought back against Manchester United at Old Trafford on Saturday, with sub Olivier Giroud's late goal cancelling out a Juan Mata striker and earning a precious away point for the Gunners.
Ex-Man Utd star and TV pundit Rio Ferdinand posted his reactions to both goals on Instagram, reactions which sum up very nicely the joy and pain of being a football fan.
Adding yet more credibility to the theory that heis a humanoid synth sent back from the future to try our collective patience on a weekly basis, footage has emerged of Garth Crooks appearing to suffered a bio-mechanical glitch.
While interviewing Watford goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes on 'Football Focus', the Crooksbot began ticking wildly ashis sensors attempted to process and express human understanding.
Before tonight, you'd have to skipback to 2001 for the last time perennial midgets San Marino managed to score a goal on their travels.
However, their long, long wait for an away strike came to an end against Norway whenMattia Stefanelli cracked home an equaliser in the 54th minute...
Indeed, the sight of their boys being pegged back by the side that have scored just three goals total since 2008 was too much to bear for these Norwegian television pundits to bear.
Players from the Republic of Ireland are all too often erroneously grouped with British players by the footballing media. However, Sky's Jeff Stelling and Paul Merson took it all to a new level ahead of this weekend's Premier League action.
Discussing the English national teamon a Facebook Live event, Stelling and Merson pondered Harry Arter's possible inclusion in interim boss Gareth Southgate's first squad, despite the fact that the Bournemouth midfielder already has two caps under his belt for the Republic of Ireland.
A Champions League winner himself with both Marseille and AC Milan, French legend Marcel Desailly certainly enjoyed himself during Monaco's 1-1 draw with Bayer Leverkusen in Monte Carlo.
Working as a pundit on the game, former Chelsea star Desailly was filming himself on the sidelines when, in injury time, centre-halfKamil Glik fired home a cracking injury time equaliser.
Joe Hart may not have had the smoothest of starts to his loan spell at Torino, with the England 'keeper making a mess of a cross and gifting Atalanta a goal on his Italian debut.
However, on hisbelated official unveiling by Torino on Friday, the Manchester City loanee's impressive attempts at speaking Italian prompted the journalists present to give the goalkeeper a warm round of applause.
A furious Gary Cahill may well have Tweeted himself into hot water with the Premier League after the Chelsea man posted video footage of a challenge with Leroy Fer which led to a Swansea goal on Sunday.
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The incident came on 62 minutes, with the score at the Liberty Stadium 1-1 (via goals from Diego Costa and Gylfi Sigurdsson).
Summer signings Granit Xhaka and Rob Holding seems to be settling in just fine at Arsenal, but to help them fit in on the mean streets of London, team-mate Alex Iwobi has been teaching the two players some metropolitan street slang.
Nigerian international Iwobi, the nephew of none other than Jay-Jay Okocha, has grown up in London and does a rather good job teaching his mates some new phrases.
Not famed for suffering fools gladly, Roy Keane was at it again during a press conference ahead of the Republic of Ireland's World Cup qualifier against Serbia, with the Irish coach laying into a journalist over James McCarthy.
The poor journo in question raised a question about Everton midfielder McCarthy and his future under Toffees' boss Ronald Koeman.
Manchester United got their Premier League campaign off to a fine start, courtesy of a comfortable 3-1 win away at Bournemouth. Juan Mata, Wayne Rooney and Zlatan Ibrahimovic were all on target for Jose Mourinho's side with Adam Smith bagging a consolation goal for the Cherries.
However, after the game, Ibrahimovic and Rooney looked rather bemused by Sky's decision to give centre-half Eric Bailly the man of the match award, despite the centre-half's impressive display.
Memphis Depay made his full debut for Lyon in Sunday night's Rhone derby clash against Saint-Etienne.
After coming on for the last 30 minutes of last week's defeat against Marseille, Depay made his first start in what was to prove to be another disappointing night for OL.
Saint-Etienne ended up coasting to a 2-0 victory, with Depay lasting 65 minutes before being taken off and replaced for the remainder.
We're not entirely sure how illustrious this really is, but Paul Pogba has become the first footballer to be gifted his very own emoji.
The honour was bestowed on the Manchester United midfielder by Twitter, which means that a little image of Pogba's shorn head will pop up anytime anybody uses the designated #Pogba hashtag.
Despite fostering anuneasy truce with ex-foe Jamie Carragher for professional purposes, there can be little doubt that, down in his very waters, Gary Neville is still a card-carrying member of the Manchester Unitedmilitia.
Indeed, Comrade Neville took the opportunity to aim yet another barb at Liverpool on Twitter, pithily correcting the club's grammar after happening upon a motivational slogan on the walls of the hospitality suiteatAnfield.
Liverpool's official Twitter account produced a rather scintillating one-word riposte to a jibe from a Man Utd fan account on Sunday, with the Merseysiders' response coming after their Mancunian rivals had lost 3-1 away to Watford.
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'The United Stand' account originally Tweeted Liverpool on Friday after Jurgen Klopps' side had beaten Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, cheekily belittling the Reds' title hopes.
Lionel Messi has led his international teammates on a boycott of the Argentinian media after growing tired of their continued attempts to undermine the national side at every turn.
Not for the first time, Messi and co. were barracked in the press after losing 3-0 against Brazil in last week's World Cup qualifier, only to bounce back with a convincing win over Colombia in their very next game a result which moved the Albicelesteback into the play-off spot.
A fair-to-middling performance from England was good enough to earn the win over Scotland at Wembley last night, with the home side coasting to a 3-0 victory while registering just three attempts on goal (all headers) in the space of 90 minutes.
Scotland mustered 12 shots (two on target) but were flaccid for the most part, with the dreary defeat leaving them second bottom,six points behind leaders England,in World Cup Qualifying group F with four games played.
Argentina's recent international woes continued this week, with theAlbiceleste losing to Paraguay in the World Cup qualfiers, a result which leaves the South American giants outside the automatic qualification places for 2018.
Not surprisingly, the football-mad locals are less than impressed, with a number of commentators unable to hide their frustration, particularly after Sergio Aguero's feeble penalty miss against the Paraguayans.
Taking their inspiration from those appalling 'kiss-cams' which plague US sporting arenas, Wembley staff introduced the cringe-inducing 'dab-cam' during England's World Cup qualifier with Malta on Saturday.
The 'dab' originated in the Atlanta hip-hop scene around five years ago but with the likes of Paul Pogba and Jesse Lingard have turned it into a famous goal celebration over this side of the Atlantic.
The LA Galaxy confirmed yesterday that Steven Gerrard, who is now 36, will indeed leave the MLS club when his contract runs out at the end of the year. The former Liverpool and England captain only joined the Galaxy 17 months ago and they made the play-offs in both seasons, although that's no big deal [.
Rafa Benitez in his press conference and other interviews he gave yesterday has talked about just how strong the Championship is these days and he said it is one of the strongest leagues in the world. It's certainly one of the toughest and because of the 46 games played teams are very often paying two [.
After the truly harrowing scenes that befell him back in August, you'd think that Gary Lineker may have had his fill of nudity-based wagers.
Not so it would seem, forthe Match of the Day host has upped the ante byonce again staking his dignity on the fortunes of Leicester City Football Club.
The Sun have gone and made Gary Lineker the focus of their opprobrium this morning after the Match of the Day host hadthe temerity to show the slightest whiff of compassion for the people caught up in the current refugee crisis.
Earlier in the week, Lineker made the grievous error of emitting a Tweet that expressed his concern over the nature of the language and rhetoric being used to describe immigrants and refugees particularly the unaccompanied children in the 'Jungle' camp in Calais.
"ACCORDING TO SKY SOURCES, I HAVE A PARASITE INFESTATION"
On this day of all days, it's worth remembering that Jim White is not a deafening allegorical hologram sent from the future to warn us of the dangers of media saturation; he is but a man. A loud man.
That's why, before every Deadline Day™ really farts into action, we like to remind ourselves of White's career before he found his infuriatingly self-aware niche as Sky Sports News' resident #ITK town crier.
Liverpool stalwart Lucas Leiva has hit out at a journalist over a spurious piece of tittle-tattle which has appeared in the transfer gossip columns today.
For his sins, James Pearce of the Liverpool Echo mentioned Lucas in passingwhilereporting on a potential loan move away from Anfield for Mamadou Sakho.
While Arsenal have the Queen and Liverpool have James Bond, it's been discovered that the team currently rock bottom of the Bundesliga may just be able to boast the biggest celebrity fan of them all.
Thanks to some digging by a local radio station, it was found that among the 631,000 accounts Barack Obama follows on Twitter, only one belongs to a professional football club.
Sky Sports havedroppedEric Bristow after the former darts champion made some depressingly boorish comments about the footballers involved in the ongoing child sex abuse scandal.
Bristow took to Twitter on Monday to share his thoughts on the matter, asking why the "wimpy" footballers in question didn't merely man up and "sort out the poofs" responsible for the monstrous abuse they were exposed to as children.
While the use of mobile phones has been severely restricted by the likes of Pep Guardiola at Manchester City, at Championship side Rotherham the policy seems to be a little bit more loose.
On Saturday, striker Peter Odemwingie was sent off in the Millers' 2-1 defeat against Leeds, only for the Nigerian to Tweet an apology while the game was still going on.
Lyon have been forced to take the unusual step of having to confirm that Mathieu Valbuena is still among the living.
After not making the squad for Saturday's win over Toulouse, a macabre rumour rippled around Twitter that the pint-sized midfielder had shuffled off this mortal coil at the age of 32.
Poor old Aston Villa have endured a terrible start to the Championship season after being relegated from the top-flight earlier this year. Despite spending a huge amount of money on players this summer, the Villans find themselves 19th in the division, with a second successive relegation a definite possibility.
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Coming as a surprise to quite literally nobody, Harry Redknapp has found himself caught up in the Telegraph's undercover 'bung sting' that wound up costing Sam Allardyce the England job last week.
It was all a little underwhelming but Redknapp's name bubbled to the surface when the Telegraph released footage of the ex-Portsmouth managerrevealingthat some of his players had gambled on the results of one of their matches.