Image Credit: AP Photo/Stanley Gontha.

We don't often get to use the terms 'mayhem' and 'drama' when we're talking about the KNVB Beker (Dutch Cup). That's mainly because we rarely bother to cover it, but our attention was drawn specifically to the game between AZ Alkmaar and Ajax last night, when a fan onto the pitch and tried to attack Alkmaar 'keeper Esteban.

Original Image: Dave Hogan/Getty Images.

If you give Photoshop-enabled laptops to the Mayhem & Fruit Beverage Suite bishes, this is what you can expect to happen. We've learned this now and are trying to retrieve the computers, although judging by the state of the intern who returned empty handed from the Suite a few moments ago, our journey will be a long, hard one.

We can look at this international break in a couple of ways. The typical way is to curse and swear and moan that all our world class players Robin van Persie is away with their national squads to play football and get injured, while Arsenal pay the wages and have to endure weeks without the player due to injury and/or fatigue.

Archie Thompson has been one of the A-League most effective forwards and goalscorers in the A-League.
He's tricky, crafty, plays with a smile and when fit causes havoc.
So why not play Archie nearer to the goal, rather than out on the wing, and you might find that the Victory goal drought is over.

Dem Reds were missing Marcos Flores - how could he be replaced?
Well Dario Vidosic may not be Flores, but the returning Socceroo has comeback so much more influential than the young boy who left after season 1.
He has tricks, an aggressive eye to go forward and makes mayhem.
A welcome addition to the league.

Jamie Carragher has seen it all before as he prepares to celebrate his 677th Liverpool appearance – against the old enemy Manchester United on Saturday.
And despite past bitter clashes Carragher doesn't see the eagerly anticipated game as the Kop calendar's most explosive.
That's despite flashpoints such as his tackle on Nani last season which sparked some ugly scenes.

Image Credit: PUMA Football.

Without naming names and making a certain someone feel more uncomfortable than he already looks, somebody got the short end of the promo modeling stick.

Good lord what have they done to his hair? And furrowed brow? We feel awkward for him.

Because we can't have any member of our Finest Five looking this unattractive in broad, publicly accessible daylight, there's only one thing left to do that doesn't involving Googling "Marco Borriello on a boat" pictures.

Arsenal 3-0 Bolton Wanderers

Well it wasn't quite the thrashing I had envisaged, but as Arse 2 Mouse points out, it's a near as dammit to a thwacking as we were ever going to get under the circumstances. And, it being the first time we had won at home in the league by three clear goals since 22nd January, it's cause for some whooping and if you'll allow me a spot of hollering too.

Welcome to September's issue of The Scope, RedRants' retrospective evaluation of a months events in the life of Manchester United. Theatre of DreamWorks presents: Anarchy 2.0 Michael Bay has been described as a "cinematic anarchist" by many respected film critics like Roger Ebert. Over the top, visual mayhem, captured in cinematic chaos [.

Like we mentioned Monday, Iker Casillas is featured in the October issue of GQ Espana, as first teased in this Reebok video posted on the mag's site. Well, thanks to some pulling of a few strings and public pleading, we finally got our hands on an exclusive shot from those fine Spanish folks.

I think I've got post-traumatic stress disorder. I keep getting these weird flashbacks. Like, I'm going along normally, minding my own business and then it's:

MUST BUY LEFT BACK!

Not so good when you're in the supermarket, frantically searching the vegetable section for a suitable candidate.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Please enjoy the above video of Sporting Kansas City player Omar Bravo, who, during his side's fixture vs. Seattle Sounders at the weekend, instigated amusing scenes of mayhem and thespian collapse when his two footed tackle on Pat Noonan received a red card.

Liverpool on tour: Going Gaga for Carroll and co! Reds soak up Malaysia mayhem

Sportsmail's team of reporters will take you behind the scenes of what life is like on pre-season tour with the Barclays Premier League clubs travelling the globe this summer. Dominic King offers his insight into Liverpool's experience of Malaysia.

What is there? I don't mean in general, for if one were to ponder that question, you might drive yourself mad.

Where did we come from? What are we doing here? How do we, as an infintisimal speck in the wider universe have any great consequence to anything? I simply don't have the answers to those questions.

This is Charlotte-Sophie Zenden. She married Johnny Heitinga (yup, that's this guy) in a three day mayhem wedding last summer. Unless this photograph depicts her moments after winning a cocktail drinking contest on the beach, she is heavily pregnant.

We're not saying anything about guys fooling around while they're wives are preggo.

Sit on your chairs, don't throw them...
West Ham's calamitous season endured another dose of ignominy last night after police were called to investigate disturbances that erupted after players were confronted by supporters at the club's end-of-season awards dinner at London's Grosvenor House Hotel.

The West Ham United co-owner David Sullivan has claimed that a drunken supporter racially abused a player, sparking the brawl that marred the club's end-of-season dinner on Monday night. The event was spoiled by a disturbance between supporters and players which caused the police to be called to the Grosvenor Hotel in central London.

Mayhem threatens almost every match in Argentina, whether the perpetrators are individual fans, police or hooligan gangs. In a nation with a proud soccer tradition, little is being done about the deadly blight on the game. Grabia and others say the reason is a web of connections that touches hooligan gangs, soccer officials, police and the nation's highest-ranking politicians.

Saturday's match between Udinese and Roma pitted two kindred spirits against each other. Both Librans; the attributes of Francesco Totti and Antonio Di Natale strike a synergistic balance which, amongst the second-half mayhem, was undoubtedly lost upon the Friuli onlookers – therefore, Serie A Weekly reflects gazes upon these stars, most definitely aligned.

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is still fuming over the elbow from Braga defender Kaka on striker Andy Carroll.
The young forward was only just returning from a thigh injury during the first leg in Portugal, and was greeted with an elbow from the opposition side's defender in his first appearance in a European competition.

Over the past few years some players with great college seasons have joined MLS after winning the Hermann Trophy. Darlington Nagbe and Teal Bunbury were the last two, but prior to that Garey, O'Rourke, Wingert, Eskandarian have all had decent careers. This isn't the Heisman. Players that win are good, or better, players in the league.

Taking a page from our own fictitious Mayhem and Fruit Beverages Suite, Mario Balotelli literally caused a scene in the hospitality suites at Old Trafford last Saturday.

As noted in these photos, the Manchester City man wore his best blue and white scarf/snood to the derby festivities that he couldn't take part in.