Here at In The Stands there is a lot of banter in our head office about how everyone is doing in the Premier League's Fantasy Football game. So we thought that we will bring in number 208 (out of 2.15 million) to give us a few tips. Please welcome Chez...

"I would bring him in, but I know as soon as I do he will start playing rubbish.

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The Sin: According to Gordon Gekko (the fictional junk bond king played by Michael Douglas in Oliver Stone's inimitable Wall Street), "Greed is good." Well, according to the Bible (and common sense), it ain't very good at all. In fact, Proverbs 15:27 states that "he that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house.

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Bruno Alves may be Portugal's Man of the Moment, but our sad and forgotten hero is Greaseano. He returned to training with the Pellegrini Pack yesterday, after witnessing his national team's narrow 1-0 victory over Bosnia. No one came to ask him if he wanted M&Ms during half time, so do forgive his bitterness.

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CALL TO ARMS

This is a ‘call to arms' for all you passionate football fans out there – we need you!!

At the end of November we're shooting a very exciting Mastercard Champions League commercial that will recreate what it was like for the fans in the terraces watching the most memorable games in European football over the last ten years.

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Here's a little something to wet your appetite's for Sunday! Credit to Lonleywolf on Youtube for an amazing Video. Get ALL your Chelsea mates to come check it out Click to continue reading...

Here's a little something to wet your appetite's for Sunday! Credit to Lonleywolf on Youtube for an amazing Video. Get ALL your Chelsea mates to come check it out

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Here's a little something to wet your appetite's for Sunday!
Credit to Lonleywolf on Youtube for an amazing Video. Get ALL your Chelsea mates to come check it out Click to continue reading...

Chingy --no, not this guy-- rates his mates and hands out his awards for this season. Little known fact about Brian Ching: he's from Hawaii. Click to continue reading...

While you'll still be able to buy a wide range of Arsenal TShirt designs through my eBay store, you can now get them printed directly onto a tshirt size and colour of your chosing.

Visit www.arsenaltshirts.com to see for yourself, but don't forget the eBay shop where you'll get special offers and loads more designs.

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Sorry Vishwa. You're the man but still worth a try.

Some say he thinks Alex Ferguson is a swear word. Some say he has a bicycle kick that not even Iker Casillas would have dared to stop. All we know is, he's called THE AQUAMAN.

- No Sir, not Carlton Parlmer

Sendros is quality I tell you.

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Melanie Slade and her highly-reflective mates at a Manchester shop opening for Helly Hansen

Helly Hansen's PR department did a stellar job yesterday in getting their photo opportunity money's worth out of spokes-model, Melanie Slade.

As you can see, Melanie (who has been dating Arsenal's Theo Walcott since she was a mini), had to model a variety of coats, shopping bags and generally look happy to be shilling product.

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Melanie Slade and her highly-reflective mates at a Manchester shop opening for Helly Hansen

Helly Hansen's PR department did a stellar job yesterday in getting their photo opportunity money's worth out of spokes-model, Melanie Slade.

As you can see, Melanie (who has been dating Arsenal's Theo Walcott since she was a mini), had to model a variety of coats, shopping bags and generally look happy to be shilling product.

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Andy Mitten has written the fabulous book "Glory Glory" which documents behind the scenes stories from the glorious 90's era from the players' perspective.

RoM gave away a copy of his book as a prize for the Cantona mask competition this week.

Mitten took some time out of his incredibly busy schedule at the moment to speak to RoM about his United experiences as well as the best bits about writing this book.

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Here it is, the competition that none of us give a toss about! I mean would you rather have the job of looking at 26,000 gorgeous babes for Miss UKFF or 200 ugly blokes in football shirts for Mr UKFF? Never the less the comp is open now it's time give your mates all your support.

The winning guy will win a date with the gorgeous Miss UKFF Brandy Brewer, and believe me, this girl knows how's to party!

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Imagine if you have written the World Cup Song?

Well it looks like there are a few avenues, but this way you can win some money by writing a World Cup Song and putting your video on YouTube.

"This is the official place for lovers of World Cup Songs and the World Cup Song 2010 competition is FREE to enter for anyone with a song about South Africa 2010 or your countries' team.

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What is it with footballers and stating the obvious? Chelsea full back Ashley Cole has said that Man United isn't the same without Cristiano Ronaldo. If any football team in the world lost their best player (who also just happens to be the best player in the world) then of course you wouldn't be the same. Click to continue reading...

There are certains events in life that when it comes down to it, it makes you sit up and say "What's bigger than this?" For example an India vs Pakistan encounter, or the Aussie vs South Africa one. You know it coming when someone says it just a match and nothing more. Personally the latter has been a bigger one for me, but now I have given up on cricket and prefer to sit out of the NSW vs T&T kind of matches, which is exactly the opposite of what I am talking about.

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Take note of this name, CARLOS JAVIER ACUÑA CABALLERO orJavier Acuña for his mates, as the 21 year old REAL MADRID B – side("Castilla") player has been called up to the A-team list to play RealSporting de Gijón tomorrow in its "Liga" Round 8 match.(photo: Acuña_as.com)The youngman arrived to Spain from Paraguay with just 16 years ofage, being a player of Spanish side CADIZ who transferred the Click to continue reading...

Replace Seedorf with Van Persie's face and Adebayor definitely connects
Alright, this is somewhat of a weak Funny Feeling Friday - because this player is a proven fantasy commodity - but just hear me out on this one.
Adebayor is only owned by 6% of fantasy managers. Six percent. Click to continue reading...

Patrice Evra is enjoying his celebrity status in the far East which has come with him being best mates with Ji-Sung Park, the "Korean David Beckham".

Evra also concedes he didn't like seeing his other best mate, Carlos Tevez, wearing City's blue shirt.

"Because I am a close friend of Ji there has been this reaction," said Evra.

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Every week he will be here to offer you statistical gems to make your day, impress your mates and, on occasion, to settle the odd bet.

Sky Sports' voice of football and his back-up team of experts are here to answer your questions and queries on all things statistical and historical from the beautiful game.

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Premiership Talk is pleased to announce the launch of a live text messaging service. Premier League fans around the United States will be able to text the Premiership Talk team around the clock with any questions, score inquiries, news inquiries, or anything Premier League related!

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Really Xav, really? If we're being hyper-critical of this statement we'd say it's not physically possible. But I'm sure Cesc appreciates it. So, Xavi and Cesc Spanish National teammates, former Barcelona teammates (although they never played together), and general good mates. The little Barca maestro has expressed his desire to play alongside Fabregas on a [. Click to continue reading...

She's away tonight. Her lover is here, tasked with filling her slot !
On my way home (black skoda fabia 1.9tdi driven slowly) from work in Purgatory this evening, I chanced upon this pair discussing the thorny ishoo of Women in Football.
In particular, Hope Powell being subject of debate. Click to continue reading...

It's a Tuesday, all of your mates are around watching the footie, you are hungry, so what do you do?...
Good news!
It is 2 for Tuesday every week at Domino's! That's right buy 1 get 1 free every single Tuesday!**
You can find details of this offer and a whole lot more at the Domino's Pizza Facebook Fanpage. Click to continue reading...

Every week he will be here to offer you statistical gems to make your day, impress your mates and, on occasion, to settle the odd bet.

Sky Sports' voice of football and his back-up team of experts are here to answer your questions and queries on all things statistical and historical from the beautiful game.

Click to continue reading...

A fantastic performance by the FK squad on Saturday night as the lads played FC Valhalla off the park - beating them 4-1. We conceded the early goal of course, it's the Dinamo way.
We didn't go to The Daily Pint afterwards because we were tending to Jason in the Emergency Room. He took a ball in the eye - a deflected shot that came off Kato's knee. Click to continue reading...

A fantastic performance by the FK squad on Saturday night as the lads played FC Valhalla off the park - beating them 4-1. We conceded the early goal of course, it's the Dinamo way.
We didn't go to The Daily Pint afterwards because we were tending to Jason in the Emergency Room. He took a ball in the eye - a deflected shot that came off Kato's knee. Click to continue reading...

Patrice Evra, Park Ji-Sung and Carlos Tevez were inseparable at United which made it difficult for Evra to hear the Argie booed constantly throughout our victory on Sunday.

"Carlos Tevez is a blue, he hates Munichs!" the City fans chanted after Tevez saw a shot come back off the woodwork.

At half time, Tevez and Evra walked off the pitch today and as they approached the tunnel, Carlos applauded the fans in the Stretford End, who returned his gesture with a load of abuse.

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Just a quick note for those of you thinking of joining us on our inaugural 'EFW Oktoberfest' in Tilburg in a few weeks time. Can you please let me know by Wednesday (23rd) of this week if you're up for it. That is the day I have to let NAC Breda and Willem II know how many tickets we require. So far we have 30 punters on board and it looks set to be a belting weekend. Click to continue reading...

Ian Brown, a South Manchester lad like myself, who is a firm club over country man, has revealed he would disown his kids if they grew up in to blues... if he couldn't beat it out of them first!

Ahead of the derby day, Brown has passed his opinion on City's wealth, claiming if anyone can fuck up having this amount of money, the bitters can.

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"It showed an arrogance," Ferguson said. "It was naughty. It showed a cockiness that wasn't required at the time because they hadn't done anything. The season hadn't even started."

These comments by the manager about the Carlos Tevez poster have upset City fans. How dare Sir Alex Ferguson brand another team cocky and arrogant, when United have shown themselves to be both those things on numerous occasions under Fergie's reign.

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Manchester United-Manchester City

Two of the best Premier League squads will face off in this one. Manchester United is coming off 0f a huge road victory over Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City won over Arsenal at home last week, so both squads will be tested early in often this September.

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The Europa League is clearly regarded as much less interesting for Australian broadcasters. Not one game was presented here, so all my views are based on what I heard from mates, read in the media and saw on YouTube. PSV - without Afellay - played a tough away game against the Click to continue reading...

REAL MADRID Brazilian defender MARCELO is a funny guy who in typical Brazilian fashion lifts the spirits & humour at his Club. Histeam-mates appreciated it as seen yesterday at the Real Madridtraining session. Marcelo speaks to Cristiano Ronaldo to give himsome valuable feedback; on his style & how Ronaldo runs on thefield of play. Click to continue reading...