Match Review

Liverpool

Liverpool 3-0 Bournemouth

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Goals:
Mané 7'
Salah 69'
Firmino 90'

Yawn.

I mean, not really. This Liverpool side remains insanely fun to watch. They're good at the football. They force a side who likes to play football to constantly sit with 10 players behind the ball because otherwise they know Liverpool will probably run riot over them.

Liverpool 0-0 Everton

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Whatever.

Sam Allardyce's master plan almost worked. Hold onto your butts for 75 minutes, try for 15. Make it ugly, made even uglier by the drenched conditions.

And if Everton weren't pretty terrible, they'd have pulled it off.

Once again, Everton will not get a better chance to end their eight-years-plus Merseyside Derby voodoo.

Liverpool 5-0 Watford

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Goals:
Salah 4' 43' 77' 85'
Firmino 49'

I think Mohamed Salah took offense at last week's performance and result.

Salah's long been threatening to do this to some poor opponent. We've seen a ton of one- or two-goal games, but no hat-tricks. It's been the consistency rather than the flurries, scoring in most games, only going two games without scoring once this season.

Liverpool 1-2 Manchester United

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Goals:
Rashford 14' 24'
Bailly OG 68'

Away games against Liverpool's peers have not gone well this season. At least we've got complaining about the referee to mitigate the tire fire that was the first half. Because Liverpool absolutely got Mourinhoed in the first half.

Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle

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Goals:
Salah 40'
Mané 55'

Something something something Liverpool's attack is really good.

Playing against Rafa Benitez sides can be really frustrating. Liverpool hadn't beaten any of his sides coming into this game: two losses against Valencia 15 years ago, then three consecutive draws against Chelsea and Newcastle.

Liverpool 2-0 Newcastle

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Goals:
Salah 40'
Mané 55'

Something something something Liverpool's attack is really good.

Playing against Rafa Benitez sides can be really frustrating. Liverpool hadn't beaten any of his sides coming into this game: two losses against Valencia 15 years ago, then three consecutive draws against Chelsea and Newcastle.

Liverpool 4-1 West Ham

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Goals:
Can 29'
Salah 51'
Firmino 57'
Antonio 59'
Mané 77'

*Insert usual superlatives about Liverpool's front three here*

This is the sixth time this season that Salah, Firmino, and Mané all score in the same match.

Salah has 31 goals and nine assists in all competitions.

Liverpool 4-1 West Ham

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Goals:
Can 29'
Salah 51'
Firmino 57'
Antonio 59'
Mané 77'

*Insert usual superlatives about Liverpool's front three here*

This is the sixth time this season that Salah, Firmino, and Mané all score in the same match.

Salah has 31 goals and nine assists in all competitions.

Liverpool 2-0 Southampton

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Goals:
Firmino 6'
Salah 42'

Liverpool are incredibly reliant on Roberto Firmino and Mohamed Salah. And that's okay, and long as they're available and they keep this up. Yes, I realize that "if" is doing an awful lot of work in that sentence.

That's not to downplay Liverpool's nine other starters or the substitutes – who ranged mostly from "fine" to van Dijk's "good" and Karius' "encouragingly good", but good lord.

Liverpool 2-0 Southampton

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Goals:
Firmino 6'
Salah 42'

Liverpool are incredibly reliant on Roberto Firmino and Mohamed Salah. And that's okay, and long as they're available and they keep this up. Yes, I realize that "as long as" is doing an awful lot of work in that sentence.

That's not to downplay Liverpool's nine other starters or the substitutes – who ranged mostly from "fine" to van Dijk's "good" and Karius' "encouragingly good", but good lord.

Liverpool 2-2 Tottenham

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Goals:
Salah 3' 90+1'
Wanyama 80'
Kane 90+5' [pen]

Football is incredibly stupid and I hate it.

The thing is, a draw's probably a fair result. Liverpool were good in the first half in midfield and defense, but poor in attack, needing a mistake from Dier for Salah to open the scoring in the 3rd minute.

Liverpool 2-2 Tottenham

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Goals:
Salah 3' 90+1'
Wanyama 80'
Kane 90+5' [pen]

Football is incredibly stupid and I hate it.

The thing is, a draw's probably a fair result. Liverpool were good in the first half in midfield and defense, but poor in attack, needing a mistake from Dier for Salah to open the scoring in the 3rd minute.

Liverpool 2-3 West Brom

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Goals:
Firmino 5'
Rodriguez 7' 11'
Matip OG 45+2'
Salah 78'

That was incredibly stupid.

And honestly, there was no need for it to be. After failing to score against West Brom for 90 minutes in the league last month, Liverpool opened the scoring within five today.

Liverpool 2-3 West Brom

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Goals:
Firmino 5'
Rodriguez 7' 11'
Matip OG 45+2'
Salah 78'

That was incredibly stupid.

And honestly, there was no need for it to be. After failing to score against West Brom for 90 minutes in the league last month, Liverpool opened the scoring within five today.

Liverpool 4-3 Manchester City

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Goals:
Oxlade-Chamberlain 9'
Sané 41'
Firmino 59'
Mané 62'
Salah 68'
B Silva 84'
Gundogan 90+1'

There may never have been a more Liverpool game.

It was Liverpool early in Klopp's tenure, smoking top sides with pressing and counter-attacks, saving their best for the best opposition.

Liverpool 4-3 Manchester City

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Goals:
Oxlade-Chamberlain 9'
Sané 41'
Firmino 59'
Mané 62'
Salah 68'
B Silva 84'
Gundogan 90+1'

There may never have been a more Liverpool game.

It was Liverpool early in Klopp's tenure, smoking top sides with pressing and counter-attacks, saving their best for the best opposition.

Liverpool 2-1 Everton

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Goals:
Milner 35' [pen]
Sigurðsson 67'
van Dijk 84'

Imagine scoring the winner on your debut. You're the new club-record signing, the largest transfer fee for a defender in history. It's a debut none of us thought you'd make, having joined the club four days ago and having not played since early December.

Liverpool 2-1 Leicester

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Goals:
Vardy 3'
Salah 52' 76'

That was all set up for failure.

Liverpool go behind within three minutes, as Matip's error – a misplaced pass from the back to Can – led a Jamie Vardy opener, the defense out of position and out-numbered, Iborra's perfectly weighted ball to Mahrez, just onside, centered to Vardy for a tap-in.

Liverpool 4-0 Bournemouth

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Goals:
Coutinho 20'
Lovren 26'
Salah 44'
Firmino 66'

Revenge for last season? Sure, why not. It's a start, at least.

This was West Ham, Stoke, and Brighton again. This was Liverpool nearing, if not at the apex, of its attacking best, after the disappointments in the last two matches.

Liverpool 1-1 Everton

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Goals:
Salah 42'
Rooney 77' [pen]

We've been Allardyced. And Pawsoned. And it's really damned annoying.

But the story is still the story we've known before, even if it's been awhile since seeing that story. If Liverpool don't score more than one, Liverpool are at risk of doing a Liverpool.

Liverpool 5-1 Brighton

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Goals:
Can 30'
Firmino 31' 48'
Murray 51' [pen]
Coutinho 87'
Dunk OG 89'

3-0 Huddersfield, 3-0 Maribor, 4-1 West Ham, 3-0 Southampton, 3-0 Stoke, 5-1 Brighton. Patience, then potency. Set play, then counter then counter – which was also the 2013-14 Liverpool mantra – then set play then counter.

Liverpool 1-1 Chelsea

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Goals:
Salah 65'
Willian 85'

Once again, we're stuck between context and isolation.

Let's do isolation first.

On balance, a draw's probably fair. Chelsea defended brilliantly throughout. Chelsea had the best spell of attacking pressure until the opening goal, with Mignolet required to make smart saves on Hazard and Zappacosta, as well as charge off his line to ensure Drinkwater didn't get to Hazard's through ball first, all in a five-minute span halfway through the first half.

Liverpool 4-1 West Ham

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Goals:
Salah 21' 76'
Matip 24'
Lanzini 55'
Oxlade-Chamberlain 56'

Liverpool away from home remains a roller coaster. Thankfully, this roller coaster stayed on the tracks rather than careening through a guardrail and killing everyone aboard. West Ham helped.

Liverpool 1-4 Tottenham

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Goals:
Kane 4' 56'
Son 12'
Salah 24'
Dele 45+3'

The most Liverpool week ever is Liverpool at its most potent, scoring the most goals they've ever scored under Jürgen Klopp, immediately followed by Liverpool at its most defensively hilarious, conceding four goals solely because of things that Liverpool did wrong.

Liverpool 0-0 Manchester United

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Liverpool played well. Liverpool still got Mourinho'd.

It is frustrating to see United come to Anfield with no ambition other than keeping Liverpool out, but it's what Jose Mourinho does at Anfield.

And it works. It especially works when United are already seven points ahead of Liverpool because of Liverpool's earlier disappointments against the type of sides that United have already blown away.

Liverpool 1-1 Newcastle

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Goals:
Coutinho 29'
Joselu 36'

After Spartak:
This has become a parody. Liverpool has become a parody of itself.

After Burnley:
But that it's the same pattern which has frustrated us over the last two seasons ..

Liverpool 3-2 Leicester City

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Goals:
Salah 15'
Coutinho 23'
Okazaki 45+3'
Henderson 68'
Vardy 69'

That was Liverpool distilled to almost as pure an essence as possible. Almost.

We got three great Liverpool goals, from three different players, from three different types of moves.

Liverpool 2-2 Sevilla

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Goals:
Ben Yedder 5'
Firmino 21'
Salah 37'
Correa 72'

At least it went better than the last time Liverpool faced Sevilla?

But, look, we've been here before. The match started in the worst possible manner and the match ended in a not great manner.

Liverpool 4-0 Arsenal

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Goals:
Firmino 17'
Mané 40'
Salah 57'
Sturridge 77'

We make this joke a lot, usually in matches against other top-six sides. But I truly do wish Liverpool could play Arsenal every week.

Jürgen Klopp's Liverpool have now played Arsenal four times.

Liverpool 1-0 Crystal Palace

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Goals:
Mané 73'

Just enough is good enough.

Of course, it was too close for comfort. Of course, we really would like and need Liverpool to be better and more coherent, especially in midfield.

But Liverpool made five changes, needing to rotate the side with injuries and fixtures already accruing at too fast a rate.

Liverpool 3-0 Middlesbrough

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Goals:
Wijnaldum 45+1'
Coutinho 51'
Lallana 56'

Liverpool did it.

When Liverpool needed to win two games to seal fourth place, Liverpool won 4-0 and 3-0, scoring as many goals in those two as they had in the previous six. Liverpool finished the season with four consecutive clean sheets.

Liverpool 4-0 West Ham

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Goals:
Sturridge 35'
Coutinho 57' 61'
Origi 76'

I had honestly forgotten what Liverpool running riot looked like. What Liverpool running riot felt like.

It's not bad.

This is the first time Liverpool have scored four goals in a match in 2017.

Liverpool 0-0 Southampton

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Liverpool have played six hours of football against Southampton this season and failed to score.

Liverpool outshot Southampton 32 to 7 in the two league meetings this season. Both finished 0-0.

Southampton failed to put a single shot on target in either of those 0-0s this season.

Liverpool 1-2 Crystal Palace

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Goals:
Coutinho 21'
Benteke 42' 74'

Back to the bad old days. So much for the resiliency shown in the two previous wins, so much for the seven-game unbeaten run.

Par for the awful course from start to finish, for better and worse.

Patient, almost acceptable, almost decent, but basically unthreatening from the opening whistle, tons of possession but few chances.

Liverpool 1-0 West Brom

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Goals:
Firmino 45+1'

Liverpool were getting Pulis'd until Liverpool Pulis'd Pulis.

That'll do just fine.

Any trip to West Brom and any match against a Tony Pulis side – especially away from home – is going to be a frustrating match. There will be 11 opposition players in their own half behind the ball for long stretches.

Liverpool 2-1 Stoke

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Goals:
Walters 44'
Coutinho 70'
Firmino 72'

That probably should not have happened.

Well, let me rephrase. I did not expect that to happen. That's more accurate.

The first 45 minutes could not have gone worse. An unexpected XI and formation with Coutinho, Firmino, and Sturridge only fit enough for the bench.

Liverpool 3-1 Everton

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Goals:
Mané 8'
Pennington 28'
Coutinho 31'
Origi 60'

Maybe Everton truly do have an inferiority complex in these matches.

There have now been 15 Merseyside Derbies since Everton last won one. Six and a half years ago. When Roy Hodgson was Liverpool's manager.

Liverpool 1-1 Manchester City

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Goals:
Milner 51' [pen]
Agüero 69'

I don't understand how two good teams can play so well and so bad at the same time but this is Liverpool and this is Manchester City.

It seems an insufficient summary, but that game was dumb. Enthralling, wide open, seemingly in 2x fast forward and fun, but still dumb.

Liverpool 2-1 Burnley

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Goals:
Barnes 7'
Wijnaldum 45+1'
Can 61'

I'm still not entirely sure how Liverpool won that. That was not good. That looked like it would be a repeat of the last meeting, much to our infinite displeasure.

I'm entirely sure that I do not care how Liverpool won because Liverpool won.

Liverpool 3-1 Arsenal

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Goals:
Firmino 9'
Mané 40'
Welbeck 57'
Wijnaldum 90+1'

Liverpool's ability to perform in these matches, and complete inability to do so in the others, remains astonishing and borders on comical.

Playing Tottenham or Arsenal? All right, three points in the bag, everyone's great, everything's great.