Stitched Up: Mischievous Brentford Fans Pay To Make Their 40-Year-Old Mate A Mascot At Griffin Park As Part Of His Stag Do (Photos & Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Embed from Getty Images

A group of Brentford fans paid to allow their friend VIP access to the Bees' Championship tie against Bolton on Saturday as part of his stag do surprise.

Unfortunately for him, the mischievous ragamuffins cobbled together £130 to book their buddy a Junior Matchday Experience at Griffin Park, which would see him take to the pitch as an official player mascot, aged 40.

Sky Sport Germany’s Bleak Advert Is Proof That English Football Should Never Adopt Bundesliga-Style Winter Break (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

They're supposed to be fonts of boundless energy with their oversized grins and wobbly foam shoes, but it would appear that even football mascots go through seasonal lulls.

Indeed, this (genuinely quite moving) short from Sky Sports Germany examines the effect that the Bundesliga's annual winter break has on each team's mascot.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Granota Boja, Levante’s Flea-Bitten Frog (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

It's been a while since we last featured a craptastic mascot here on Pies, so we thought we'd weight back in with an absolute howler.

To that end, we'd like to courteously thank our pals over at La Casaca for bringing this...thing to our attention.

Introducing Levante's bargain basement mascot Granota Boja (which translates as "Crazy Frog"), who is quite honestly one of the shoddiest creations we've ever laid our disbelieving eyes upon.

Arsenal Stars Mikel Arteta And Theo Walcott (And Gunnersaurus!) Attempt The ‘Dizzy Goals Challenge’ (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

At a rain-lashed London Colney, several of Arsenal's stars took part in the viral 'Dizzy Goals' challenge yesterday to help raise money for the Global Goals campaign.

First up were Mikel Arteta and Theo Walcott who both faired equally poorly (despite somehow escaping with a 100% scoring record) before the club's real big hitter stepped up to the plate.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Pachus The Gopher (CF Pachuca, Mexico)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Today's dip into the murky waters of ropey football mascots takes us to Mexico where we'll becoming face to rubbish, moth-eaten face withPachus, long-time mascot of Liga MX side CF Pachuca.

Pachus is supposed to be a gopher (Pachuca are nicknamed 'Los Tuzos' The Gophers), though he looks more like a mangy old bulldog with a lifelong addiction to sleeping pills and the number of Stuart McCall's barber.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Elvis J. Eel (Southend United)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Introducingthe one and onlyElvis J. Eel, erstwhile mascot of Southend United and a truly sorry, sorry sight if ever there was one..

We can imagine the board meeting:

"Chaps. We need a new mascot. Something that embodies Southend's never-say-die spirit, ournoble, warrior-like ethos and the faint fishy aromathat envelopes the town.

20 Craptastic MLS And NASL Football Mascots Of Yesteryear

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

With Partick Thistle foisting their new mascot, Kingsley the soul-reaper, on us yesterday, we decided to have a shufty at some of the other risible mascots football has been besmirched with over the years.

Indeed, we decided to focus on the land that pretty much introduced the concept of the modern day mascot, the land of the Phillie Phanatic and the Capital City Goofball: the good ol' Yoo Ess of Ay.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Washington Diplomats’ Hideous Blue Fuzz Monstrosity (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Welcome to Washington DC, Johan...

Nope, us neither.

Hands up, there isn't a single thing we can tell you about this blue, fuzzy, matted, snorkel-faced, aardvarky-looking monstrosity except that it served asmascot for NASL sideWashington Diplomats during the mid-to-late 1970s and early 80s.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Chaddy The Owl (Oldham Athletic)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Looking like something crawling around in the background of aHieronymus Bosch painting, this is the thing that Oldham Athletic used to try to gee up the crowds at Boundary Park with once upon a time.

His name is Chaddy the Owl, though 'Chaddy the Hideously Deformed Swivel-Eyed Mutant Bat Creature From Your Deepest, Darkest Nightmares' might have been a more fitting moniker all things considered.

Drinking On The Job: Austria Vienna’s Super Leo Mascot Gets Hammered, Falls Over And Goes Night-Night In Middle Of Pitch (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

You wait ages for a craptastic mascot and then two turn up at once!

Following hot on the lettuce-y heels of Javier Zanetti's nightmarish vegetable friend comes the cautionary tale of Super Leo, the Austria Vienna lion mascot who took his 42nd birthday celebrations just that little bit too far at the weekend.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: This Vegetable Monstrosity At Javier Zanetti’s Charity Match

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

View image |

'Twas Javier Zanetti's big send off in Milan last night, with a team of the Inter stalwarts' chums taking on an All-Star XI at the Giuseppe Meazza.

Also present was the downright terrifying ‘Mascotte of Milano Expo 2015' a blood-curdling, Triffid-like demon beast made solely from vegetable matter and dark magic.

Pies Classics: 20 Utterly Craptacular Football Mascots (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

This post first appeared on Pies a year or two back but we're having to re-post it in order to restore it to our database after it was mysteriously deleted. Feel free to enjoy the craptitude all over again.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: The Tonbridge Angel

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Presenting the official club mascot of Ryman Premier League side Tonbridge Angels FC: The imaginatively named 'Tonbridge Angel'.

The Angelapparently never goes anywhere without his bodyguard, which appears to be either former West Brom manager Alan Irvine or Father Ted.

Snapshot: Uruguay’s U20 South American Championship Mascot Attempts To Sneak Into Brazil’s Team Photo…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Not content with a place in his own side's pre-game team photo, "Batu", the slightly horrifyingmascot for the ongoing U-20 South American Championship in Uruguay, also attempted to cunningly sidle his way into Brazil's official team shot before kick-off.

Heart-Warming: Southampton Do Their Bit To Help Lovestruck Fan Meet The Girl Of His Dreams (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

@SouthamptonFC Unreal looking girl that sits 4 seats next to me that keeps giving me eyes. Can you tell me who sits in block 24 seat 626?

— Timothy (@_timcorn) December 21, 2014

In a tale to truly warm your cockles on this bleak January morn, one Southampton fan is on the verge of finding true love thanks to anassist from the Saintsthemselves.


J League: Cerezo Osaka Match Begins With Monkey In Football Kit Politely Handing Ball Over To Referee (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Photo: J League

You can always trust the J League to deliver when it comes to unfettered weirdness on a football pitch, and Sunday's crunch tie between Cerezo Osaka and Vissel Kobe was no exception.

The match itself was nothing out of the ordinary, with Osaka registering a straightforward 3-1 victory over Lukas Podolski's lot.

A-League: Central Coast Mariners’ Barbecue Sauce Mascot Given Official Warning After Middle Finger Salute To Opposing Fans (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Troublemaker: Beware the rogue MasterFoods barbecue sauce mascot (Photo: Mars Food Australia)

One of Central Coast Mariners' phalanx of mascots has been given an official warning by the A-League after becoming embroiled in a minor spat with Newcastle Jets fans during the meeting between the two sides on 7th October.

Craptastic Mascot Of The Day: Roelio The Giant White Bollock, Pontevedra CF (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Photo: Pontevedra CF

The bulbous, clown-faced atrocity you see before you is Roelio, esrtwhile mascot for Spanish lower league side CF Pontevedra and the latest inducteeinto Pies' Craptastic Mascot hall of fame.

Described by La Informacion as "cojonmórfico" essentially an anthropomorphic bollock Roelio is beloved by Pontevedra fans,who seem to find his Mr Blobby-esque appearance charming.

Craptastic Non-League Mascot Of The Day: Runcorn’s Corny McCornface (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

It's been a while since Piespaid tribute toa brilliantly naff mascot from the non-leagues, so we thought we'd revive the series with an absolute boomer.

Introducing the erstwhile symbol of Runcorn Linnets FC, Ron Corn otherwise known colloquially as 'Corny McCornface'...

Photo: @CornyMcCornface/Twitter

Look at his little face.

Real Madrid: Cristiano Ronaldo Scares Bejesus Out Of Mascot With Sudden And Unexpected Pre-Match Leap (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Real Madrid toiled to a 1-1 draw against cross-city chums Atletico on Saturdayevening to narrowly bolstertheir lead at the top of La Liga.

However, the real action came before kick-off when Cristiano Ronaldo scared the living daylights out of his player mascot with a sudden and unexpected power leap.

Heart-Breaking Scenes As ‘Gladbach Captain Lars Stindl Snubs Handshake With Young Mascot (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Thousands of hearts were shattered in the lead-up to last night's DFB Pokal game between Borussia Monchengladbach and Hamburg when a young mascot was left hanging for all to see.

Gladbach captain Lars Stindl was the guilty party, shaking hands with the match officials before cruelly snubbing the extendedarm of one of the young player escorts stood between them.

Man-Eating Fish Takes To Pitch As Half-Time Entertainment At Derby County Takes A Turn For The Weird (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

With the score locked a 0-0 at the break, fans attending Derby's home game against Blackburn yesterday were snapped out of their torpor by a truly surreal bout of half-time 'entertainment'.

Indeed, it was at this point that a giant inflatable fish wearinga basketball vest came flailing out onto the pitch and proceeded to eat one of Derby's goalkeeping coaches, only to barf him back up in a state of undress.

Swedish Club AIK Have Their Players Led Out By Group Of Elderly Supporters (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

Over in the Swedish top tier, AIK subbed out their usual child mascots for Sunday'sgame against Gefle IK and instead had their players accompanied out onto the pitch by a group of the club's most elderly fans.

The AIK team was led out by 86-year-old former FIFA president Lennart Johansson, with several other of the club's oldest living members then escorting the players out onto the pitch at the Friends Arena in Stockholm.

Four-Year-Old Alcorcon Fan Paula Leads Ultras’ Chants With Her Mighty Yellow Megaphone (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view


Admittedly, we're about a weekoff the pace here, but this one's so gosh-darn adorable that we just couldn't pass on it.

Back on 17th April, mid-table Alcorcon faced high-flying Leganes in a southern Madrid derby down in the Spanish second tier.

Realising that the players might need an extra boost to overcome their local rivals, Alcorcon hired Paula, a four-year-old fan with a megaphone, to toddle around their stadium before the game and yellinspirational chants at anyone she happened across.

Plonker: Distraught Arsenal Supporter Picks Fight With West Ham’s Teddy Bear Mascot (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Joseph Viney (@jjviney)

Arsenal fans have a deserved reputation for being just a *little* bit cringey. If they're not screaming "WENGER OUT!" after not scoring in the first 15 seconds of a game, then the continued presence of Arsenal Fan TV is certain to provide you withenough painfully induced squirms tokeep you going for several days.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Reunited With Starstruck Mascots At Swedish Player Of The Year Award Event (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Mondaynight saw the annual Guldbollen (i.e, the Swedish Player of the Year) award gala take place in Stockholm, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic taking home the gong for the ninthconsecutive year and the tenth time overall.

While the award itself was little more than a foregone conclusion, there was a sweet moment when Ibrahimovic was reunited with two young fans who melted everybody's cold, cynical hearts back in June with their starstruck reaction to the Sweden striker ahead of a Euro 2016 qualifier against Montenegro.


Mistaken Identity: Liverpool Stalwart Jamie Carragher Fooled By Old Photo Of Himself Posing Alongside ‘Trent Alexander-Arnold’ In 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Trent Alexander-Arnold's star is on the rise at the moment, especially in the wake of the teenage full-back's superb freekick goal against Hoffenheim earlier in the week.

Ex-Liverpool stalwart Jamie Carragher heralded his young successor's efforts directly after the match, sharing on social media what he thought was a photo of the pair together back in 2009, when Alexander-Arnold was a mere 10-year-old slip of a lad.

Man Utd: Jose Mourinho Assures Mascot ‘Fred The Red’ That He Still Has An Important Role At The Club

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

A strange, shiny-faced cartoon character accompanies Fred the Red around Old Trafford

It hasn't takenJose Mourinho long to start making his mark at Manchester United, with the new bossspendingover £60million in his first couple of months to bring in the likes of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Eric Bailly and Henrikh Mkhitaryan.

Leicester City’s Filbert Fox Becomes First Premier League Mascot To Sign An Actual Boot Deal

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Photo: Leicester City

Leicester City have announced that their club mascot, Filbert Fox, has signed a boot deal. Yes, you did indeed read that correctly.

The contract was signed at the King Power over the weekend, with Filbert wearing gigantic foam versions of Puma'snewestEvoSpeed boots while he cavorted around the pitch during Leicester's 4-0 win over Swansea.

Scottish football

Mascot Mutilation: Queens Park FC Launch Desperate Appeal To Reunite Harry The Hippo With His Stolen Head

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Scottish side Queens Park have posted a desperate plea on Twitter after having their mascot brutally decapitated over the weekend.

The League Two outfit, nicknamed the Spiders, have asked fans to beextra vigilant after Harry the Hippo/Hoopo had hishead snatched from the club pavilion at some point.

Partick Thistle Unveil Terrifying New Club Mascot, As Designed By Artist David Shrigley (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Hey everybody. Meet 'Kingsley', Partick Thistle's absolutely bloody terrifying new club mascot...

Introducing our new mascot, designed by @davidshrigley, Kingsley.

- PartickThistle FC (@ThistleTweet) June 22, 2015

Kingsley was designed summoned into the mortal realm through the fiery gates of the underworld by Turner Award-nominated artist David Shrigley, a lifelong Partick Thistle fan who also happens to be a close personal friend of the manager of Kingsford Capital investment firm, the club's new principal sponsor.


New World Record Set As Enormous 200-Foot FC Cologne Club Crest Projected Onto Hoover Dam (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

What you see above you is FC Cologne's club crest being projected, approximately 200-feet tall on the Hoover Dam in Arizona.

Why? Well, it's all part of ascheme devised by GermanPR agency Oliver Schrott Kommunikation (OSK), who decided that splashing Hennes the goat across the dam was the best way of showing off the structure'sbrand new and extremely powerful lighting system.

Say It With Carrots: Cologne Striker Anthony Ujah Visits Hennes The Goat To Make Amends In Person (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

As you may recall, Cologne striker Anthony Ujah got into a spot of bother over the weekend for man-handling the club's beloved mascot, Hennes the goat, after scoring against Eintracht Frankfurt on Saturday.

After publicly apologising to his "best friend" for being unduly rough, Ujah then sought to make amends with Hennes in person yesterday visiting the little chap's stables to wish him many happy returns on his birthday as well as festooning him with gifts of fresh carrotsand the like.

The Rest

FIFA Ask Russian Fans To Vote For 2018 World Cup Mascot From Three Equally Uninspiring Options

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Image: @FIFAWorldCup/Twitter

FIFA have opened the onlineballotfor the 2018 World Cup mascot, with the good people of Russia now able to vote which anthropomorphic animal they want to represent their home tournament.

The field is hardly what you might call diverse, with fans able to vote for, A) a cutesy cartoon tiger, B) a cutesy cartoon cat, or,C) a cutesy cartoon wolf.

Man Utd Paint Pre-Match Mascots Blue To Promote New X-Men Film (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Ahead of their Premier League clash with Bournemouth at Old Trafford, Manchester United sent out a number of their pre-match mascots resplendent in blue face paint to promote the newX-Men: Apocalypse film.

Having linked up with film distributors 20th Century Fox, United got themselves involved in the promotion for Leonardo DiCaprio's epic The Revenant earlier in the season, with players taking to social media to advertise the movie.

Stags Do: 30-Year-Old Groom Becomes Mansfield Town Mascot After Being Stitched Up By His Best Man (Photos & Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

Photo: @Coral/Twitter

A cursory look atthe photo above reveals that one of Mansfield Town's mascots for theirrecent game against Notts County ever so slightly stood out from the pack.

That's because he, the surly chap with his arms folded,was roughly20 years older than the rest of them.

Fully Grown Adult Male, 34, Arrested For Attempting To Punch Crystal Palace’s Bald Eagle Mascot

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

"Take that you feathery sh*tter!"

Hear ye, hear ye. A fully grown, supposedly adult male has been arrested today for attempting to punch an eagle.

For attempting. To punch. An eagle.

It just so happens that the bald eagle in question was Crystal Palace's mascot, named Kayla.

‘If We Win, I’ll Take Your Shirt’ – Chelsea Boss Jose Mourinho Loses Bet With Young West Ham Mascot

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

With wins/half-way convincing performances hard to come by and FA fines stacking up, we think it's fair to say that things really aren't going Jose Mourinho's way at the moment.

Things started reallyboiling over during Chelsea's tetchy 2-1 defeat at West Ham last Saturday, with asmall boy apparently responsible for sowing the first seed of discontent in the Upton Park tunnel.

Snapshot: Club Tijuana Launch New Kit Amid Usual Nightmarish Scenes Thanks To Their Terrifying ‘Hell Hound’ Mascot…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

As is par for the course once a year, Mexican side Club Tijuana have unleashed their brand new home kit amid nightmarish scenes thanks solely to their terrifying "hell hound" mascot...

"Kali Ma...KALI MAAAA!!!!!"

Don't know about you guys, but we've always thoughtsleep was overrated anyway.

Euro 2016 Mascot Name Revealed As ‘Super Victor’, Also Given Compelling Back-Story

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

As you may remember, UEFA foisted their new, nameless Euro 2016 mascot upon the world a fortnight or so ago, leaving the choosing of his moniker up to fans by way of an online interactive poll the three choices being Driblou, Goalix or Super Victor.