Ahhhh! Sadly, there was no such thing as post-marriage luck for Alvaro Negredo last night as Sevilla crashed to a narrow Spanish Cup defeat in the hands of Valencia, despite their 2-1 win. Painfully, it was based on the away goals rule and those are always the hardest to bear!

::: FistedAway welcomes a guest post from Elliott,
editor of the rather lovely Futfanatico :::

As the year comes to an end, awards circulate. Everybody speculates as to who will win the Ballon d'Or. Some say Messi. Others say Xavi. A few say Ronaldo. However, the most shocking award involves none other than Ricardo Kaka.

What are the odds AVB is not Chelsea manager at the start of next season? Derek McGovern's Bets of the Day

Despite the win at Wolves, Chelsea's marriage to Andre Villas-Boas looks destined to end in tears, as 90 per cent of marriages do. That's according to a survey of Katy Perry.

Me wife Madeline came up to my study about an hour after the West Brom game had finished and asked Well how many did they get beat by? Alan Pardew - wants win on Monday same here It's funny how after 39 years of marriage the spouse can sense these things isn't it? [...]

Are you looking for the right gift for the weekend upcoming? Of course you are, and we have it here.

And no, it's not a jigsaw of United's Director of Communications, Phil Townsend, but it is related his amazon.com reviews.

The Guardian compiled a list of some of the most asinine gifts for the football-lover in your family.

It seems like the number of investment scams are on the rise? The latest one was allegedly conducted by Andrey C. Hicks. One of its victims was Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian's husband. So not only are Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries on the verge of getting a divorce, they are now out at least $200,000?

Why would you use an idiot for an important safety messages targeted at young kids to stay safe this Halloween. Mario Balotelli is heading this serious campaign on the safety of staying safe when using fireworks this Halloween which is the most dangerous time of the year for accidents involving young kids and firework accidents, yet we use an idiot who set fire to his house after setting off fireworks in his house at the weekend to front this serious campaign, it would be like using Ryan Giggs and John Terry on a campaign on staying faithful in a Marriage for God's sake.

At one point this season I thought about having Gary Smith on my coaching hot seat list but a midseason turnaround kind of killed that thought for me. Turns out, we could be close to him leaving Colorado anyways. He and TD Paul Bravo are apparently not on the same page these days.

In a way I wonder if this could have something to do with Smith staying behind for one of the Rapids CCL games on the road.

Ah, how quickly the weekend has rolled by but the debauchery continues, of course, in our Blind Items Monday where our sources have been working all week to deliver the saucy stuff to YOU! Happy guessing!

1. This player currently plays for one of the top two best teams in Europe and is having the "time of his life".

As a Liverpool fan, you could be forgiven for not being surprised that I'm glad to see Arsenal lose their 'star' players. But honestly, it's not what you think. My concern is more for the behaviour of footballers... and the lack of respect with which Arsenal Football Club has been treated by many of it's players.

Awesome recovery here. Might be the best fake to occur beyond the bedroom of an unhappy marriage this year.

You know your nuptials were epic when there is a trailer for the wedding video. Congrats to Brad G. on his marriage but I think D.J. Countess still holds the crown for the Most Baller-Ass Wedding Video Ever By a Former MLS Goalkeeper™. But then again Brad is playing in the EPL and all right now so we'll call it a draw.

This is Charlotte-Sophie Zenden. She married Johnny Heitinga (yup, that's this guy) in a three day mayhem wedding last summer. Unless this photograph depicts her moments after winning a cocktail drinking contest on the beach, she is heavily pregnant.

We're not saying anything about guys fooling around while they're wives are preggo.

Earlier today, we reported the news that Oscar De La Hoya entered rehab. We then got a tip that Oscar De La Hoya's Twitter account points to the boxing legend having marriage problems. After looking at the tweets by Oscar De La Hoya, it appears as if the tipster could be right. What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

Written by TotalArsenal

Your dreams are china in your hand.......................

‘Don't push too far your dreams are china in your hand'. The lyrics of this well-known, and somewhat tacky song by T'pau in 1987, came to my mind when I read recent comments regarding Arsène Wenger's position on a variety of Arsenal websites.

Avoid unnecessary domestic disputes, make your husband feel like a champion and offer as much support as possible - all tips on how to enjoy a successful marriage and maintain a Serie A title challenge, according to the Italian club Napoli.
José Sosa and his woman appear to be happy.

Zarek Valentin checks in from Guatemala City on the first episode of his Audio Diaries - the first special guest was Perry Kitchen, who is Z's roommate and thus did not have a say in the matter.
The two former Akron teammates talk a bit about Guatemala City, an inside joke that is annoying everyone else on the team and their new MLS teams.

To say New England's 2-1 win this afternoon over D.C. United was touched with controversy is akin to saying the recently departed Elizabeth Taylor was fond of marriage. Zach Schilawski and Shalrie Joseph both scored goals touched with question marks ...

If your TV isn't working you can go out and buy a new one. As long as the cable connection exists, you just have to plug the new one in and it starts working. In short, you can spend money and fix the problem almost instantaneously.

There are a lot of things in this world that work on the same principle.

Sean Payton, the head coach of the New Orleans Saints, is moving his family to Dallas. For a man who has talked about the importance of believing in the city of New Orleans and embracing the community, this is definitely an odd decision. Why is Sean Payton moving to Dallas? Is he having marital problems?

Rhonda Aikman and Troy Aikman are getting a divorce. If you haven't seen Rhonda Aikman pictures, scroll down and view below. The two were married for a decade and had two children together. Troy Aikman will find it difficult to stay out of the spotlight considering he is scheduled to be the color commentator for the Super Bowl on February 6th, which is being played in his adopted home of Dallas.

This is tifo in the process - you could be the next Section 8 Chicago tifo idol.

View full size photo »

When people ask me what 'tifo' is, I tell them it is the ultimate marriage of sport and art.