Jose Mourinho has chastised Sergio Aguero for over-egging the headbutt that saw Marouane Fellaini sent off in the latter stages of Thursday night's borderline-unwatchable Manchester derby.
The clumsyBelgian was shown a straight red card in the 84th minute for nuzzling headswith Aguero, though the slow motion replays appeared to show that the City striker certainly made sure of it.
Despite his manager's insistence that he wasn't even ready for a spot on the bench, Luke Shaw did eventually feature for Manchester United in their 1-1 draw against Everton on Tuesday night.
Making only his secondappearance since January, Shaw replaced Ashley Young for the final 25 minutes as United went onto salvage a 94th-minute equaliser at Old Trafford.
Surprise, surprise. Xavi has categorically denied speaking to The Sun after the tabloid recently ran a story claiming the ex-Barcelona captainhad insider knowledge on Pep Guardiola's supposed interest in signing Dele Alli.
In apiece ran on 25th April, The Sun claimed Xavi had told them Guardiola was ready to plunder Alli from Spurs in a "record transfer deal" this summer.
Despite fielding a very top-heavy starting XI, Pep Guardiola was left to rue his side's inability to attack convincinglyas Man City were knocked out of the Champions League by Monaco last night.
Carrying over a 5-3 lead from the first leg at the Etihad, City lacked the necessary aggression to kill off the encounterin the second eventually slumping to a fairly meek 2-1 defeat at the Stade Louis II, thus losing out on away goals.
Photo: Premier League
Pep Guardiola has been named Premier League Manager of the Month for February and can't you just tell from the joy in his eyes?
The Man City boss took the trinket for making it through last month with three wins from three games, against West Ham, Swansea and Bournemouth.
Photo: Ashley Weston/CameraSport/Getty Images
Not so very long ago, with the 'Wenger Out' campaign atfull bonk, one particular protest banner went viral after it was unfurled at an Ethiopian football match.
This was because it appeared to feature not one, but two of the internet's twin obsessions, namelyArsene Wenger and a bonus spelling mistake.
Jamie Carragher was in fine, aggravated form on Sky Sportslast night, with Arsenal once again providing the pundit with plenty of ammunition thanks to a risible display against Crystal Palace.
Referencing aGraeme Sounness remark from back in 2015 (not much has changed since), Carragher branded the Gunnersa "team of son-in-laws" as he took Arsene Wenger's limp side apart in the post-match analysis.
Granada have confirmed thatTony Adams has taken over as head coachfor the remainder of the season.
Earlier today, theSpanishclub sacked previous incumbent Lucas Alvarez with the team second bottom of La Liga thanks to a largely wretched run of results.
From dance musical festivals in Miami to New Zealand to bloody Wrestlemania, the 'Wenger Out' campaign has truly taken on global meme appeal.
The latest instance of anti-Wenger sentiment popping up in unlikely environs has come during today's nationwide protests against incumbent South African president Jacob Zuma.
Just when you thought the 'Wenger Out' campaign had reached its nadir, two pillocks in cardboard masks come along to prove you quite wrong.
For outside Arsenal's London Colney training centre at 9am this very morning, journalists were met by this truly embarrassing tableau...
A little scene from colney this morning pic.
With protest placards popping up in environs as unlikely as New Zealand, Minnesota and Wrestlemania in recent weeks, it would appear that the 'Arsene Wenger Out' campaign is now a truly global undertaking.
While it's unclear how much of the international dissentis simply meme-based mirth, the polemic being fanned in and around the Emirates has now actually devolved into outbreaks of physical violencebetween warring clans on either side of the crevasse.
What better way to reenact Lincoln City's remarkableFA Cup run of 2016/17 than with your very own, fully-poseable Danny Cowley action figurine?
Indeed, if the following photo is anything to go by, it would appear that a (presumably unofficial) toymodel of the Imps boss is available to purchase somewhere out there in the weird yonder.
Due to their collective and ranklack of perspective, a group of fans were planning to fly an 'anti-Arsene Wenger' banner over Arsenal's game against West Brom this coming Saturday afternoon.
A crowdfunding campaign was used to raise the £2,500 necessary to stage the aerial protest, which included the hiring of a plane, the printingof a huge"Wenger Out: No New Contract" banner and an assortment of boards, balloons and beach balls to wave about in the crowd at the Hawthorns.
Here we see the precise moment thatthe anti-Arsene Wenger movement (and football in general) began toeat itself as onedimwit fan likens Arsene Wenger's rather successful 21-year reign at Arsenal to the untold bloodshed and tyranny Robert Mugabe has inflicted on Zimbabwe over the past three decades.
Sunday proved to be a glum old day for the 35,000 or so hardy Minnesota United fans that braved the freezing snow to attend their side's MLS game against Atlanta United.
Minnesotawound up on the wrong end of a 6-1 battering from a newly-formed team thathad only played one previous competitive match in their entire history.
Kylian Mbappe, Monaco's wunderkind du jour,sent yet another record tumbling at the weekendby scoring what proved to be the winning goal against Lyon.
As a result, Mbappe became the youngest player this century (18 years, 124 days) to reach 14 league goals in one of Europe's so-called 'top five' leagues, thus breakingWayne Rooney's record.
Two days after Jeff Stelling embarked upon a fevered plea for Hartlepool manager Dave Jones to hand in his gun and badge, the League Two side have announced that Jones has been fired from his post.
Watching on in horror as 'Pool slid into the relegation zone on Saturday afternoon, Stelling the club's honorary life president stared down the Sky Sports camera and barked at Jones to "walk now" after reapingjust 13 points from the 51 available since his appointment in January.
David Moyes has apologised to a BBC Sport reporter after telling her she "might get a slap" during a post-match interview.
Grilling Moyes after Sunderland's 0-0 draw with Burnley in mid-March, Vicki Sparks asked the Scot if the presence of club owner Ellis Short in the stands added anyexcess pressure to get a result.
Unlikely as it may seem, Granada have not enjoyed the industry standard 'managerial bounce' sinceappointing Tony Adams as their new head coach earlier in the month.
The struggling side have sufferedtwo straight defeats under the tutelage of the former Arsenal defender, albeit against decentopposition in the shape of Celta Vigo and Sevilla respectively.
He's only been in the job five minutes and already Tony Adams is revolutionising things from the ground up atGranada CF.
At hisintroductory press conference, the former Arsenal defender vowed to use his "40 years of experience" (he's only 50-years old) to give the struggling squad a "kick up the arse".
Crystal Palace chairman Steve Parish isjoining the line-up of entrepreneurs on the BBC's investment jeopardy extravaganza Dragons' Den.
Yep. We had no idea it was still going either.
Any road up, it's been announced that Parish will be one of two new Dragons entering the Den for the show's 15th series, along with Jenny Campbell, who made her millions by founding a cash machine company.
For the first time since it all went south, Alan Pardew has been talking about getting sacked by Crystal Palace.
Pardew wasdismissed in late December, with Palace ending the calendar year as the worst-performing team of all 92 Premier and Football League clubs.
What's more, their total of six Premier League wins throughout 2016 wasthe second lowest tally recorded since the league's inception in 1992/93.
Having taken over as head coach just a fewdays ago, Tony Adams has wasted absolutelyzero timemaking his inimitable presence felt at Granada.
Firstly, the ex-Arsenal skipper added a bit of grittyBritish backbone to the Spanish side's struggling squad in the shape of Kieran Richardson and Nigel Reo-Coker, who hasn't playedany competitive footballin almost two years.
Bayern Munich spanked an injury-hit Borussia Dortmund on Saturday night to go 10 points clear at the top of the Bundesliga.
Franck Ribery opened the scoring after just four minutes, with goals from Robben and Robert Lewandowski (2) fleshing out the winning margin in Bayern's favour.
With the score already at 4-1, Carlo Ancelotti decided to haul Ribery off for the final 15 minutes a decision that didn't sit too well with the grumpy French winger.
Hull City were rock bottom of the league when little known, little fancied Marco Silva (forren) replaced Mike Phelan (British) at the beginning of January.
All the usual apprehensionwas expressed over the 39-year-old Portuguese coach'sappointment his tender years, his supposedly iffygrasp of English, his relatively limited prior experience, and of chief concern for Paul Merson and his ilk the fact that if we've never heard of 'im, how could 'epossibly know the league, Jeff?
As you well know, Carlo Ancelotti is a man of many talents, having already conquered the realms of football and bit-part Hollywood acting and you can now go ahead and add 'celebrity cheffing' to that impressive repertoire as well.
Followingthe launch of Bayern Munich's 24-hour television channel last month, Ancelotti appeared on a cooking segment with famous Bavarian restaurateur (and Bayern team chef)Alfons Schuhbeck.
David Moyes has endured a torrid week, with the fall-out from his infamous 'slapgate' still being felt.
Staring relegation in the face, Moyes and his Sunderland side needed a good result away to Leicester only Tuesday night, only to lose the game 2-0, with the Black Cats boss also finding himself on the wrong end of a cheeky chant from the home fans.
"£25 gets you entry, two free shots and an hour in the ice bar..."
Leicester City manager Craig Shakespeare has revealed that not so very long ago he had to talk Jamie Vardy out of quitting football entirely.
After finishing as top goalscorer in the Conference Premier whenFleetwood won promotion into the Football League in 2011/12, the Foxes (then of the Championship) took a gamble on signing Vardy, though he initially struggled with the step up and managed a paltry five goals in 29 appearances over the course of 2012/13.
"King Power, I hate every inch of you"
Claudio Ranieri has spoken of the "shock" he felt after being sacked by Leicester City, less than nine months after winning the Premier League title.
Strangely, Ranieri did so while appearing on stage in front of inmates at the Rebibbia prison on the outskirts of Rome.
Claudio who? Leicester City fans saluted theirnew hero ahead of last night's Champions League second-legger against Sevilla with an enormous banner unfurled in the stand behind the goal at the King Power Stadium.
It depicted Ranieri's replacement, Craig Shakespeare, fully suited and riding into battleon the back of a giant rottweiler.
Roy Hodgson has been speaking to the Big Issue, covering such diverse subjects as literature, alternative vocations and why the bloody hell he stuck Harry Kane on corner duty at Euro 2016.
As well as naming his Top 10 favourite books (which consisted of just six), Hodgson also revealed that he knocked back an offer to appear on Strictly Come Dancing, chiefly on the basis that he doesn't consider himself to be a celebrity:
I'd have been another Ed Balls!
Gareth Southgate has revealed that Theo Walcott threw a bit of a wobbler when he learned that he'd missed out on a place in the latest England squad and on his birthday of all days.
While there were surprise call-ups for the likes ofMichail Antonio, Michael Keane, Nathan Redmond and James Ward-Prowseand Jake Livermore, Southgate decided against including Walcott, who was busy eating jelly and ice-cream and playing pass the parcel when the call came from the England boss.
Harry Redknapp is officially back in the game after being appointed as Birmingham City's new manager this morning.
Brumsacked Gianfranco Zola on Monday evening after a truly abysmal tenure that saw the teamgo from three points off third place when he took over (14th December) to three points above the relegation zone (17th April) in the space of just 21 Championship games.
Maurizio Zamparini might not be the man with his finger on the trigger anymore, but it would appear that Palermo's new president is just as fidgety as his infamously impatient predecessor.
Indeed, Paul Baccaglini has popped his cherry and authorisedhisfirst managerial dismissaljust four weeks into his presidential tenure, firing Diego Lopez as head coach after just 10 matches in charge.
As anybody who has witnessed him in "action" for New York City over the past year or so will duly attest, Andrea Pirlo effectively retireda while ago now.
Indeed, with the 37-year-old midfielder having now dwindled to an insouciant saunter, it's being rumoured that he's finally about to shuffle off the footballing coil and into the coaching racket.
Despite being little more than a foetus in a body-warmer, Julian Nagelsmann has been named Trainerpreis des Deutschen Fussballs 2016 German Coach of the Year after a sterling first full season in the Hoffenheim hotseat.
Nagelsmann was only 28 when he was fast-tracked intothe Hoffenheim management rolelast February, becoming the youngest head coach in Bundesliga history in the process.
Rock bottom of the Premier League, Sunderland once again went into Saturday's game against Burnley desperately needing to take something from the fixture.
They managed a 0-0 draw at the Stadium of Light but David Moyes was criticised for his selection after dropping Didier Ndong to the benchin favour of Jack Rodwell, thus stodging up his midfield in an attempt to hamper the Clarets.
Somewhatunsurprisingly, Middlesbrough have relieved Aitor Karanka of his duties following the team's slide into the Premier League relegation zone.
The news was broken today, with Karankaultimately paying the price for having not mustered a win in the league since mid-December.
MFC can today confirm the departure of Head Coach Aitor Karanka https://t.
Notts County owner Alan Hardy has torn into John Sheridan, the manager he sacked in January, over the latter's decision to appeal his dismissal for gross misconduct.
Having first heard of the appeal through the League Manager's Association (LMA), Hardy has now openly accused Sheridan of attempting to ride roughshod over the "concept of respect in football" after canning the 52-year-old for embarking on an extraordinary, expletive-laden tirade at the match officials during County's defeat against Wycombe back in mid-December.
Photo: @Squawka/Twitter (via Getty Images)
Luis Enrique admitted that he did himself a bit of a mischief while celebrating Barcelona's incredible comeback victory over PSG in the Champions League last night.
With Sergi Roberto scoring the winner in the 95th minute, the final whistle sparked a deafening cacophony of celebrations at the Camp Nou, with Enrique hurtling out of his technical area to hug absolutely everybody in sight.