With Miroslav Klose and Luca Toni locked at 0 Bundesliga goals this season, some Bayern fans will probably welcome this opportunity to escape into nostalgia for a short while.

In 1974 Gerd Müller succeeded where Michael Ballack had failed in 2002 and won the Bundesliga, Champions Cup (Champions League) and the World Cup.

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Wayne Rooney

This parenting stuff is already harder than I thought. ... Meat. ... The kid doesn't like to play with fireworks nearly as much as I do and he doesn't even know how to use a toilet. ... Meat. ... I think he might be broken. Can you fix a broken kid with a screwdriver and a nail gun?

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" Mmmmmmm. Where is my Rolodex? "

With Franck Ribery out, Bayern has been struggling without his creativity. They lost to Bordeaux, 0-2 in the CL and are almost out of contention to make the round of sixteen.

In the Bundesliga, Bayern are in sixth place with 19 points after five wins, four draws, and two losses.

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Luca Toni's toque was no match for Bordeaux last night. Image via Getty

Wow. Last night's Champions League group action was more exciting than an Hermes sample sale.

In case you missed it, here's what we observed:

- Frank Lampard's increasing use of thigh-covering under-armour is becoming a serious concern.

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Luca Toni's toque was no match for Bordeaux last night. Image via Getty

Wow. Last night's Champions League group action was more exciting than an Hermes sample sale.

In case you missed it, here's what we observed:

- Frank Lampard's increasing use of thigh-covering under-armour is becoming a serious concern.

Click to continue reading...

One of these players just doesn't belong. Can you tell which player is not like the others?

From left to right: former Dortmund striker Márcio Amoroso, Wolfsburg striker Grafite, Bayern striker Luca Toni and Nuremberg striker/midfielder Marek Mintal.

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We keep it strictly binary this week.

0. The combined number of goals Bayern's strike duo Miroslav Klose and Luca Toni scored so far this season.

1. The number of goals former Bayern striker Lukas Podolski scored so far this season. Lukas Podolski joined Cologne in the summer, after Klose and Toni were continuously given the nod ahead of him.

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Media criticism, internal criticism, huge injury concerns, a long winless streak, and the list goes on. All the aforementioned obstacles severely marred the opening of the current season for German Bundesliga giants Bayern Munich. In September, such was the state of affairs at Allianz Arena that new manager Louis van Gaal appeared to be on his way out of the Bavarian club sooner rather than later.

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Nothing wrong with this picture whatsoever. It's a novel idea compile a ranking which will help determine the world's best player. Castrol did it for the Confederations Cup and now they're unleashing for all of world football. Well, by "world football" they mean "Europe's top 5 leagues" Spain, England, Italy, Germany and France. Click to continue reading...

It is very likely that Stuttgart coach Markus Babbel may be out of the job after the forthcoming weekend. He received the dreaded vote of confidence after their 1-0 defeat to improving Hannover 96 last Saturday but the club's Sporting Director Horst Heldt made it clear that he was looking for a response against the 2 Bundesliga side Greuther Furth in the German Cup (DFB Pokal) on Tuesday. Click to continue reading...

After the international break, the man of the moment is undoubtedly Alberto Gilardino. The Fiorentina striker scored 4 goals in 2 matches with the Azzurri, including the impressive hat trick in 14 minutes vs. Cyprus. He now has 16 goals in 38 appearances (now level with Gianluca Vialli and Luca Toni) for the Azzurri and looks to be the headline striker heading into South Africa this June.

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Schaut man sich die Besetzung des deutschen Rekordmeisters, des FC Bayern München, im Sturm an, so liest sich das ganz gut: Mario Gomez, Luca Toni, Miroslav Klose. Alle Stürmer der Spitzenklasse. Eigentlich, denn hier liegen in der noch jungen Saison die Probleme des Münchner Star-Ensembles. Am Anfang sah ja noch alles ganz gut aus: Rekordeinkauf Mario Gomez traf recht zuverlässig und dann wurde auch noch Arjen Robben verpflichtet, ein weiterer Top-Mann für die Abteilung Offensive.

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A few of you think that we need to stop bullying Luca Toni but we beg to differ! Zio's worst than Raul The Great at present... and his performance at the Confeds this year were laughable at best. The circus came to town and left an acrobat behind!

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Sogna di tornare in Italia. Sogna di riabbracciare la Serie A. Sogna, soprattutto, di ripagarsi dalle delusioni che sta vivendo in Germania col Bayern e di poter provare a riconquistare la Nazionale di Marcello Lippi: "E' un periodo un po' così al Bayern, vediamo in questi mesi cosa fare. Un mio ritorno in Italia? Click to continue reading...

Die Hoffnung ist sehr groß. Ich will nur wieder auf den Platz und den Leuten beweisen, dass ich noch da bin. Ich denke, dass mir meine Wut über diese unbefriedigende Situation dabei helfen wird.

Luca Toni, Stürmer des FC Bayern München, will nach seiner vom Trainer verordneten Pause endlich zurück in die Mannschaft und Tore schießen.

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Luca Toni may be a running joke in many households, including mine but you can't help but feel un po 'triste for the man after van Gaal ruled him out of tonight's game against Juventus. Amicas, if Grandma F.C were on a lookout for a striker, Luca would fit the bill perfectly.

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"Es müllert wieder!" This famous slogan is only known by older german football fans, especially for those in Western Germany. It´s a tribute to the best German striker ever named Gerd Müller. Müller played fifteen years for the Bavarian top-club FC Bayern Munich and is holding several scoring records.

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Rounding out the week's rumors:

• Sulley Muntari and Tottenham.
  
• Arsenal trying to steal a Fulham defender.
  
• Dos Santos is stuck with the Spurs for now.
  
• West Ham and Luca Toni.
  
• Joseph Ngwenya and N.Y. Red Bulls.
  
• Inter Milan is eyeing some Lazio forward.

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Für einen Betrag zwischen 30 und 35 Millionen Euro wechselte Mario Gomez im Sommer vom VfB Stuttgart zum FC Bayern München. Damit ist Gomez der Rekordtransfer des deutschen Rekordmeisters – nie gaben die Münchner mehr für einen neuen Spieler aus. Doch so richtig zufrieden scheinen sie in München mit ihrem neuen Stürmer (noch) nicht zu sein.

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Luca Toni...
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot...
No wonder you're struggling to find first-team time... Click to continue reading...

Just before coming on as a substitute for his first appearance this season in Bayern Munich's 5-0 DFB Pokal second round win over RW Oberhausen on Tuesday, Luca Toni made sure everything was in place. In his pants. Because you really don't want a ball popping out on your all-important season debut.

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FC Bayern striker Luca Toni has vowed to fight for his place in the club until the very end. The 32 year old Italian international has been out of favor in the German glamour club since Louis Van Gaal's appointment as manager. Toni revealed not long ago that he is considering a transfer in order to [. Click to continue reading...

With Brazilian striker Amauri close to becoming an Italian citizen, it looks like Bayern Munich's Luca Toni will find it quite hard to represent Italy in South Africa. Azzurri Boss Marcello Lippi has hinted on more than one occasion that Amauri will be very useful for the national team.

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via Reuters

• It's a week to Promise and Deliver! Luis Fabiano, Fabregas and Nilmar expressed their desire to score and promptly delivered. The Arsenal midfielder opened the scoring for La Furia Roja last night, helping Spain to a 3-0 win over Estonia.

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via Reuters

• Now that we have your undivided ATTENTION, it appears that "Mr-Italiano-But-I-Still-Love-Brazil" Amauri will not be summoned to the Azzurri anytime soon after the Italian football federation announced plans to "play all World Cup qualifiers with the current squad.

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Striker has had enough of sitting on the Bayern bench!

Italian international Luca Toni has confirmed that he will leave Bayern Munich if head coach Louis van Gaal does not utilise him sufficiently.

With striker Mario Gomez signed from Stuttgart this summer, the prolific Italian could end up warming the bench at Bayern this campaign.

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How can one undo all the good will and sympathies from a near career ending injury within seconds? Do what Eduardo did against Celtic yesterday. From an object of near universal sympathy, he becomes an object of near universal shame and derision. And with this, we need some way of compiling the worst of the worst. Click to continue reading...

When will they be holding the Geekiest Baller of the Year awards? We need to prepare our Luca Toni application forms. Image via Reuters Click to continue reading...

When will they be holding the Geekiest Baller of the Year awards? We need to prepare our Luca Toni application forms. Image via Reuters Click to continue reading...

Oooh, what a way to start the season... by winning the Supercopa! Aplausos, por favor! Yet another brilliant show from Los Cules after they pulled off this convincing 3-0 win over Bilbao last night. The Messiah scored twice and your best friend Bobojan netted in the third!

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1. Opposition
What more is to be said about tottenham?
If this blog had any grounds whatsoever to complain about being over-worked, then I could be forgiven for simply cutting and pasting Spurs-related articles from one season to the next.
Let's see, this year they are apparently well placed to steal Champions League qualification. Click to continue reading...

Let's start of with a laugher:

• Landon Donovan to Mexico and Club America?
  
• Nothing to Chelsea link, say Mexes.
  
• Vidic dreaming about Barcelona.
  
• Milan's transfer market it closed?
  
• Claudio Pizarro and Werder Bremen.
  
• Roma move ruled out in favor of Brazil for Cicinho.

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Ora che ha venduto (Alberto Aquilani al Liverpool per 23 milioni di euro, ndr), la Roma può tornare ad agire sul mercato. Fino a questo momento, è stata una delle squadre di calcio della Serie A più ferme (forzatamente, per questioni finanziarie) sul fronte degli acquisti. Con i soldi ricevuti dalla vendita del centrocampista, si può però aggiungere al gruppo giallorosso un bel rinforzo. Click to continue reading...

Some people smile with their eyes. Others, like Bayern Munich's Luca Toni, smile with their tongues. This is why we like him so much. Click to continue reading...

Some people smile with their eyes. Others, like Bayern Munich's Luca Toni, smile with their tongues. This is why we like him so much. Click to continue reading...